


Dancing Queen

by Starlight1395



Series: Requests From You [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Jackson is an asshole, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of past abuse, Non Idol AU, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Protective Hyungs, Self Esteem Issues, Self Harm, Seventeen members - Freeform, background Hyungwon/Hoseok, background Minhyuk/Hyunwoo, blackmailing, bts - Freeform, collage AU, past self harm, stripper Changkyun, student Changkyun, writer Kihyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-04-25 02:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 86,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14368566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight1395/pseuds/Starlight1395
Summary: "Why do you care so much about me? Why would you care about a filthy whore?""Because you deserved to be loved, Changkyun."Changkyun does what he needs to in order to make rent, and it was taking its toll on the boy's body and spirit. Kihyun was never supposed to find out where he worked, never supposed to know Changkyun's shame. When his secret isn't a secret anymore, Changkyun is faced with an impossible situation - hide away and stay safe or play with fire and let Kihyun care for him.





	1. Out in the Open

**Author's Note:**

> So this is for my dear Twitter friend Rebecca! I hope you enjoy this roller coaster dear, because that's what this is going to be.  
> There's going to be mentions of other groups throughout, but I don't think it's enough to add them to the characters list. If anyone thinks I should change anything in the tags, let me know. I'm never sure what's worth tagging.

"Hey! You’re one of the new tenants in apartment 3-8, right?” Kihyun looked at the boy standing next to him in the elevator with a sense of shock. He was much younger than most of other tenants in the building, Kihyun himself being one of the younger ones. The boy looked at him with wide eyes, as if he wasn’t expecting to be spoken to.

“Um, yeah,” he said quietly, adjusting the bag on his back. “I’m Changkyun. My friends and I just moved in this weekend."

“There have been rumors about a bunch of kids renting an apartment together but I didn’t think it was true,” Kihyun said before mentally scolding himself. He didn’t mean to be rude to some stranger he just met, but he was used to solitude and therefore had a difficult time censoring himself. “I mean, you look so young and… um…”

“Nah, you’re right,” Changkyun chuckled at how flustered the man had become. “We’re pretty young but because there’s four of us the rent isn’t actually that bad.”

“Four?” Now that was something Kihyun didn’t know.

“Yeah. There’s me, Jooheon hyung, Hyungwon hyung and Minhyuk hyung.”

“So they’re all older than you?” Kihyun hadn’t expected his new neighbors to be so interesting. Most of the residents were older, and chose this particular complex because the apartments were minimal so the rent was cheap. Because of that, the complex tended to be fairly quiet and relaxed, which was the main reason Kihyun was eager to move in. As a writer, silence was his best friend. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty. I’m actually going to school at the university a few blocks away,” Changkyun watched the numbers climb slowly. “Minhyuk hyung and Hyungwon hyung are the oldest and they’re only twenty two. Jooheon hyung just turned twenty one last week actually.”

“You’re a student? You must be working hard to go to class and afford rent.” Kihyun remembered working a part time job while in school and shuttered. It was the most exhausting thing he had to suffer through. Changkyun paled.

“You could say that,” He said with an awkward chuckle. Before Kihyun could say anything else, the elevator dinged and Changkyun was stepping off. “It was nice to meet you hyung. Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kihyun said as the doors closed. “That kid… there’s something off about him.”

* * *

 

Changkyun fished his keys out of his backpack and fiddled with the lock, almost crying when the door finally pushed open. He made it all the way to the crappy, mystery stained couch he had found at a second hand shop before he collapsed with a sigh.

“Sounds like you had a good day.” Jooheon said from the other side of the couch. He watched the younger boy groan and bury his face into a pillow that Minhyuk had made at the beginning of his sewing obsession.

“I wanna die.” Changkyun groaned into the stuffing. Jooheon laughed and playfully slapped the other boy’s calf.

“Don’t we all?” He closed the book he was reading and tapped Changkyun’s leg again to get his attention. Changkyun knew his hyung well enough at that point and knew to turn around and rest his head on the older boy’s lap. Jooheon began to run his fingers through his hair and Changkyun felt himself relaxing. “Did something happen at school?”

“My professor is an absolute idiot and doesn’t know shit,” Changkyun said bitterly. “He rambled on for an hour about something his grandkid did, then tried to explain a project to us before realizing he printed out the wrong handout and had to re-explain everything! And he didn’t even give us a new hand out! He just told us to write down the details and told us to turn it in by the end of the week.”

“I had a professor like that once,” Jooheon felt his friend’s pain, he really did. He only went through two semesters before dropping out, but he had enough stories from those two semesters to write a book. “All you can really do is bullshit your way through it and pray for a B.”

“I’m just so tired…” Somehow, Changkyun’s voice suddenly sounded years older. Jooheon felt his heart drop. He stopped running his fingers through Changkyun’s hair and instead pulled the younger boy into a more comfortable position, so his feet were on one side of Jooheon’s lap and his butt on the other, letting the boy’s long legs rest over his thighs. Changkyun instantly dropped his head onto Jooheon’s shoulder, letting the affection warm him.

“I know Changkyunnie,” Jooheon wanted to hide the boy away, but he couldn’t. “I can try to cover you tonight-”

“No!” Changkyun lurched forward, startling Jooheon a little. After half a second he settled back down, but he still felt frozen under Jooheon’s touch. “No, you don’t have to do that. I know how uncomfortable it makes you. I would never make you do that if I can help it.”

“But if you’re too tired from school…”

“Seriously hyung, I’ll be fine.” He nuzzled his nose into Jooheon’s neck, hoping the other boy would drop it. Thankfully, Jooheon just hummed in faint disapproval before letting Changkyun drift off into a light sleep in his lap.

“Hey, wake up sleepy head.” A soft voice said into Changkyun’s ear. He stirred with a whine and tried to bury his face in Jooheon’s shirt.

“Come on Kyunnie, we have to get ready for work.” Hyungwon said carefully. Minhyuk was always better at waking their youngest, but they had let him sleep just a little too long and they still had to prepare for that night.

“Alright…” Changkyun got up with a groan, instantly shivering at the loss of Jooheon’s body heat.

“Hey, don’t look so excited.” Minhyuk tried to lighten the mood. Changkyun threw him a bone and gave him a small smile.

“Sorry hyung. I’m just dreading my classes tomorrow,” He stretched and cracked just about every bone in his back, including his tail bone. “Why did any of you let me sign up for an eight AM class? I thought you loved me.”

“Because you distinctly told us ‘I don’t care what you guys think’ and signed up for a class at the asscrack of dawn?” Jooheon said, also standing and stretching. Changkyun opened his mouth to argue but closed it with a click when he remembered doing exactly that, no more than a month ago.

“Alright children, we have to leave soon,” Minhyuk called from his room. The apartment was small, but all four boys were able to have their own rooms even if the rooms were roughly the size of a closet. “Hopefully it’ll be a good night. We’re out of milk and I’m planning on going shopping tomorrow.”

Changkyun took a deep breath and blinked back tears. He didn’t know if they were from the exhaustion that was threatening to make his knees collapse, or from the situation he found himself currently stuck in. He blinked again and went to his room to get ready.

* * *

  
Kihyun rubbed his eyes for what felt like the tenth time that hour and shut his laptop with a groan. His writer’s block had hit him strong, and he couldn’t seem to shake it. He had tried all his usual tricks – taking a shower, going on a walk, watching a movie, making an elaborate meal – but nothing seemed to create a spark in him.

He stood and winced as he felt several bones crack that shouldn’t normally do that. It was just part of being a dancer, he supposed. While he was a writer, writing didn’t necessarily put food in the fridge so he had taken up teaching dance classes at the local rec center with some friends from college, Hoseok and Hyunwoo. They also worked as personal trainers, so the dancing thing really was a side job for all three of them.

Kihyun glanced at the clock and decided it wasn’t too late to go out and take another walk. Slipping on his shoes, he grabbed his phone and locked his apartment behind him.  
The area that the apartment complex was in wasn’t necessarily a bad area, per say, but it did house some shadier corners. There was a pub two blocks down the street that was known to be a front for some gang activity, but everyone turned a blind eye to it because the owner was a sweet old woman who gave anyone who looked like they were having a bad night a drink on the house. There was the old factory that had gone out of business years before Kihyun had even been born that was used for underage parties, which was also mostly ignored because as far as he knew these parties never got out of hand and the kids were fairly respectful about everything. Apparently they also hosted volunteer activities there, so the police were lenient. The worst place, in Kihyun’s opinion, was the strip club. It was two block straight and another three to the left from the apartments and Kihyun couldn’t help but feel bad for anyone who worked there. The people that crawled into the brightly lit building never looked anything short of greasy.

The strip club, despite his distaste for it, was on the way to a 24 hour café that Kihyun often frequented. He glanced over at the lights and couldn’t stop his nose from scrunching up a little. Normally he didn’t care, but he noticed a new sign out front that drew his attention. It was a simple poster that advertised ‘new talent’ as the writing so delicately put.

He didn’t recognize the names, but he really wasn’t surprised by that. Why would he have any connection to such a place? Sure, Hoseok had taken him there once when he first moved into the area. He had just been dumped and his friend wanted him to let loose. Considering it was one of the few clubs in the area that actually had male strippers, Hoseok thought it was perfect.

Kihyun felt his resolve melt and turned on his heel. He didn’t feel like being out anymore. He made his way home, trying to brain storm something – anything – for a book he was supposed to be pitching to his publisher in less than two weeks. Seeing how he had nothing for it, Kihyun wanted to scream. Instead, he changed into his favorite worn pajamas and went to bed, hoping to wake up with some ground breaking idea.

* * *

  
“How much caffeine can you legally put into a cup of coffee?” Changkyun asked, his eyes already slipping shut. By the time he got home, he didn’t have any time to sleep. He hopped in the shower and immediately started getting ready for his class.

“Um, I can fill a cup with espresso?” The barista said, obviously not prepared to deal with weird requests so early in the morning.

“Perfect. I’ll take two.” He ran a hand down his face, trying to wake up a little more. The café was busy as it normally was in the morning and Changkyun thought he was going to fall asleep on his feet. He didn’t realize he was swaying until he felt hands on his arm.

“Woah there, Changkyun?” A familiar voice said warmly. Changkyun pried his eyes open enough to see the man from the elevator holding him up.

“You’re the guy from the elevator.” He said groggily, his already deep voice two octaves lower.

“Kihyun,” He laughed lightly and helped Changkyun into a chair. “You look like shit kid. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep well?”

“Sleep? Who is she? I don’t know her.” The table really was looking like the perfect place to lay his head.

“Wait, did you not sleep at all last night?” Kihyun couldn’t stop his eyes from flying open. Changkyun just looked at his through slightly curled bangs and gave him a slow blink.

“Work ran late,” He mumbled. “I only had time to shower and get dressed if I wanted to get coffee before class.”

“Jesus Changkyun, you’re going to burn yourself out. Does this happen a lot?”

“Sometimes.” Changkyun perked up slightly when his name was called, and Kihyun did a double take when he saw how large the coffee cups in the boy’s hand were.

“Did you eat breakfast?” Kihyun was feeling slightly nauseous watching Changkyun gulp his coffee without hesitation.

“Didn’t have time,” He said through desperate gulps. The coffee burned, and it was so bitter he wanted to gag, but he needed to stay awake. “I’ll get a big lunch if I don’t sleep through my break again.”

“Do you work tonight?” Kihyun didn’t know why, but looking at the boy across from him, he felt the burning urge to take care of him.

“Unfortunately,” Changkyun looked close to tears. “But hopefully it won’t be as bad. We have more people coming in to help out. Besides, this is only temporary. It’ll be a distant memory soon enough…”

“Where do you work?” Kihyun had no idea where the boy could possibly be employed that would make him look the way he did.

“Shit, I’m late!” Changkyun cried when he checked his phone. He downed the rest of the first cup and grabbed the second before slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Ya, Changkyun!” Kihyun called after him. The boy paused in the doorway, looking stressed. “Come to my apartment for dinner. Your friends are invited too, if they want. Apartment 5-2.”

“Will do.” Changkyun smiled for the first time that morning and Kihyun shook his head in exasperation.

Changkyun made it to class with a single minute to spare. Thankfully, his friend Seungcheol had saved his usual seat for him near the back of the class. As soon as the professor started the lecture, Seungcheol leaned over to his friend.

“Kyunnie, you look like literal shit.”

“Wow, thanks Cheol. That’s exactly what I needed to hear.” Changkyun said, sarcasm dipping all over his notebook. He tried to take notes as neatly as possible, but his eyes kept drifting shut and his writing would go off the lines.

“Seriously though, you look like you’re about to die.” Seungcheol looked at his friend with worry. Even though it was only a month into the semester, he and his friends had basically adopted Changkyun into their ranks.

“I just had a late night at work.” Changkyun waved off his friend’s concern.

“Still at that mystery job that you can’t tell me about?”

“Yup.”

“Still going to keep it a secret?”

“Yup.”

“Well,” Cheol sighed, knowing what he needed to do. “You take a nap, okay? I’ll give you my notes after class.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, you need the rest. Besides, it gives us an excuse to get lunch, right?” Seungcheol chuckled and Changkyun stuck his tongue out at him.

“You don’t need an excuse to hang out with me,” He said, a yawn interrupting his sentence. “You know I love you guys.”

“Ah, I know. I’m just messing with you.” He ruffled Changkyun’s hair as he laid his head on his arms. Within seconds, he was fast asleep. Seungcheol shook his head and began taking extra careful notes.

* * *

  
Part of Kihyun expected the boys from 3-8 to not accept him invitation but he was still a little disappointed when the clock kept ticking away and there was no knock on his door. He remembered how dead Changkyun looked and knew the boy had another shift where ever it was he worked, so it would make sense if he had fallen asleep when he got home. Kihyun frowned, feeling more and more protective of the boy.

He wrapped up the extra dinner he had made and set it in the fridge with the intention of giving it to them in the morning. He was going to leave it by their door, but he honestly had no idea when they would be home and if the food sat out too long it could spoil. Kihyun looked around his apartment and sighed a little.

It was a nice apartment, don’t get him wrong. A gently used couch matched the area rugs that covered the wooden floors. Book shelves held his own works as well as some of his favorite novels and knick-knacks he collected through the years. The tables, shelves and wall space that was available was covered in various pictures, courtesy of Hoseok, whose favorite hobby was photography. All in all, it was a cozy apartment, if not a little lack luster.

He checked the clock and saw it was already past eleven. Seeing how he had already given up on trying – and failing – to think of something for his publisher, Kihyun decided to treat himself. He got a large bowl of ice cream and settled down in front of the television to find a cheesy romantic comedy and enjoy his evening.

Kihyun woke with a start to the opening menu of his movie. His ice cream sat on his lap, completely melted and warm. He blinked at the time, almost five in the morning. Carefully putting the bowl aside, Kihyun thought his neck was going to snap off from how loudly it cracked. He was getting too old to sleep on the couch, he thought to himself.  
Seeing how it was basically morning already, he put the bowl in the sink and got dressed for the day. He knew his deadline was coming up fast and his anxiety made his heart beat pound in his ears. He took a deep breath to try and calm him nerves, but when that didn’t work he slipped on his shoes and decided to take the walk to the café and this time actually make it. Kihyun found it ironic, but caffeine helped his anxieties some. Hyunwoo worried he was becoming too dependent on the legal drug but Kihyun was immature enough to stick his tongue out and go back to sipping whatever caffeinated beverage was glued to his hand at the time whenever his friend brought up his concerns.

He walked past the strip club and saw they had already turned off most of the lights. There were a few stragglers leaving, but Kihyun could see staff dressed in black ushering them out with stern looks on their face. The only light left on was one by what Kihyun assumed was the employee entrance on the side of the building, mostly hidden by a bush that had been planted, most likely for privacy reasons. Just as he was about to move out of earshot, he heard something that caught his attention.

“Just skip class. You already did one early morning! You’re about to pass out.” The voice sounded young, something Kihyun didn’t expect. The one time he had been inside, most of the workers were in their early thirties.

“I’m fine… tomorrow I don’t have class so I can sleep for however long I need.” A familiar voice said. Kihyun felt his blood run cold.

“Kyunnie, you work so hard in school…” The first voice sounded close to tears. “Please let me take your shift, at least one night a week?”

“Hyung, you hate dancing,” Changkyun sounded so bone tired that Kihyun felt his own eyes burn. “I would never put you in that place. Besides, you’re one of the best security we have. Without you, who would keep those creepy old men from touching us?”

“Jooheon has a point Kyunnie, you’re working yourself too hard. Did you even sleep today?”

“Cheol took notes for me in class and let me nap… and I got an hour I think between classes.”

“So you didn’t eat. That’s what I’m getting from this.” The second unidentified voice said, sounding lethargic and slow.

“Hungwon hyung please, not this again.” Changkyun sounded fed up.

“You need to take care of yourself Kyunnie. You’re important to us.”

“What would we do without you?” The voice belonging to who Kihyun assumed was Jooheon chimed in again.

“Be short on rent?” Changkyun snorted but yelped when he was smacked on the back of the head. Kihyun was able to see them now, standing right behind the bush. They had taken a step out of the doorway and into his line of sight.

“Be short one best friend? Don’t joke like that Changkyun. You know how much we care about you.” Jooheon said, sounding too serious. From what Kihyun could see, he was also dressed in all black, with bright red hair and eyes that would be considered intimidating if they weren’t looking so desolate. The other two with them must have been Hyungwon and Minhyuk, Kihyun remembered their names from the conversation in the elevator. One was taller than the other three, with soft brown hair and a beautiful face while the fourth was short and thin with very expressive features. The three boys were dressed as one would expect coming from a strip club – short shorts, fishnets, harnesses and glitter. They looked way too comfortable in such clothing, in Kihyun’s opinion.

“Let’s get you home,” The one with the pretty face said. “I know how much the makeup irritates your eyes.”

“Here, take my coat. You’re shivering.” The one with expressive features said, shrugging off the jacket and draping it over Changkyun’s shaking shoulders. Kihyun could see the boy wanted to protest, but the second the body heat stored in the fabric hit his skin he relaxed some.

“Let’s just go home. I need to shower before class.” Changkyun said before turning and freezing. He made direct eye contact with Kihyun, who felt like he had been spying on something he wasn’t supposed to see.

“Kyunnie, what’s wrong-?”

“Who’s that? Do I need to be security?” The one in black – Jooheon – said quietly. Kihyun felt frozen.

“Kihyun hyung?” Changkyun choked out, sounding close to tears.

“Changkyun… is this- is this where you work?” He asked faintly, watching the shame color the boy’s ears red.

“Forget you saw this. Please.” Changkyun blew past Kihyun, trailed by the other three who shot him various looks.

“Wait, Changkyun-” But they were already gone. Kihyun could see the flap of a jacket as they rounded the corner. He sighed, feeling twenty years older.

When he was in college, he worked in the library. He worked the desk mostly, but also shelved things when work was slow. He was a full time student and worked almost thirty-five hours a week. At the time, Kihyun thought he was going to collapse by the time he got back to his dorm, but comparing his experience to what he could only assume Changkyun was going through, he felt disgustingly selfish. He had it easy in comparison to the boy.

“Shit.” He said under his breath before rushing to the café.

Less than half an hour later he was knocking on the door to apartment 3-8, arms filled with different things. He half expected the door not to open, so when it did he felt a little off guard. It was the tall one that greeted him, looking much different without the makeup and dressed comfortably in sleep pants and an oversized sweater. The boy stared at Kihyun with tired eyes before recognition caused them to widen.

“You’re…” He trailed off, eyes flicking to something inside the apartment.

“Um, has Changkyun left yet?” He asked, hoping not to sound creepy. In their position, Kihyun could see how freezing outside the strip club then showing up half an hour later would seem like stalker-ish behavior.

“Ah, not yet. Do you… want to come in?” It was clear the boy was not comfortable, but was trying his best to be polite.

“I won’t stay long,” Kihyun tried to sound comforting. “I brought food and coffee for Changkyun.”

“Kihyun hyung…” Changkyun said from the doorway of a small room. He had showered and was dressed in jeans and a hoodie with a jacket over it, backpack slung over one shoulder. He had a smudge of eyeliner on one cheek, and the bags under his eyes were painful to look at.

“I, um, brought coffee,” Kihyun didn’t know why he felt so awkward all of a sudden. “And food. I didn’t know if you were going to come so I made extra and put it in the fridge.”

“Oh god I completely forgot,” Changkyun looked close to tears. “I’m so sorry hyung. I was so caught up in trying to finish my essay before…” He trailed off, looking at the ground.

“That’s alright. I figured you were doing homework or sleeping. Though, I can give you my number so we can make plans for dinner in the future?”

“If you want…” Changkyun looked at his shoes, which were old and scuffed. Kihyun could see where there was tape holding the sole together and felt another stab. He realized all the money the boy made most likely went directly to rent and what was left went to paying for his classes.

“Oh right, here,” he shoved the cooling cup of coffee into Changkyun’s hand. The boy looked surprised but happy. “I hope I remembered your order from yesterday. Just espresso in a cup, right?” Kihyun grinned as Changkyun’s whole face lit up.

“Oh god, that’s the last thing he needs,” The tall one said with faint horror on his face. “He needs sleep, not more caffeine.”

“I can take it back…” Kihyun said with a hint of humor. Now it was Changkyun’s turn to look horrified.

“Hyungwon hyung, if you love me in any capacity, you’ll let me enjoy this coffee.”

“It’s your heart attack.” Hyungwon said, giving the younger boy a sideways smile.

“I’ll be off,” Changkyun said, adjusting his bag. “Tell Jooheon hyung and Minhyuk hyung good morning for me?”

“Will do, but they honestly might still be asleep when you get back.” Hyungwon yawned.

“Thank you Kihyun hyung,” Changkyun grinned brightly and Kihyun felt his heart skip a beat. “You saved my life.”

“Ya, that’s a bit of an exaggeration…” he suddenly felt shy and didn’t know why.

“I don’t have class tomorrow. Would you wanna get lunch? As a thanks for the food and the coffee?”

“You don’t have to-” Kihyun cut himself off when he saw the determination burning in Changkyun’s eyes. “Alright, I can be free whenever.”

“Perfect! I’ll see you around three.” Changkyun smiled at him one more time before checking the time and bolting out the door. Kihyun stared after the boy, feeling like a mini tornado just made its way across his brain.

What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

 


	2. Debt Collector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had the appearance of more SVT members, and I've decided they're going to play a pretty big-ish part of the plot. It's still going to focus on Changkyun and Kihyun, but they're going to be helping in the background.

“Wow, you look even more dead today.” Seungcheol said with a smirk. Changkyun raised an eyebrow and took a sip from his coffee, not breaking eye contact.

“Ah, lay off the kid. He’s probably been staying up late playing games or something,” Their friend Soonyoung said with a grin. “You know how things are at that age.”

“Hyung, you’re only a year older than me.” Changkyun said with a bored expression. Soonyoung pretended not to hear him and kept talking.

“Kids now a days are so caught up with what’s cool and hip that they never stop to enjoy the moment!”

“Hyung, you literally made us wait for three hours to get your phone checked out, only to have them tell us you needed to turn it off and turn it back on again.” Chan deadpanned, looking at the older boy with mild distaste.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” Soonyoung shot back. Chan raised an eyebrow.

“You were our ride.” The youngest said emotionlessly, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

“Speaking of kids,” Jeonghan cut in with a smile. “It’s our precious Chan’s birthday this weekend. Does anyone have idea on how to celebrate?”

“You really don’t have to do anything.” Chan’s ears flushed red at the sudden attention. Everyone scoffed and protested in some form.

“The youngest of our mighty squad is finally becoming an adult!” Soonyoung said dramatically and Chan just flushed harder.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” He muttered, kicking the dirt with the toe of his sneaker.

“What did everyone else do for their finally-an-adult birthday?” Soonyoung asked, turning to the small crowd of friends.

“I went clubbing with Hannie and Shua.” Cheol said easily. The two in question nodded, remembering the night fondly.

“I went to a concert for the first time,” Minghao answered. “Jun went with me but he got drunk before the first stage.”

“I was young and inexperienced, alright? No need to bring up my shame.” Jun lamented, turning red.

“What about you Changkyun?” Soonyoung’s voice caught Changkyun’s attention. He had gotten lost in his memories and hadn’t been paying attention. He gulped and tried not to show his panic.

“I… um… just went out with some friends.” He said lamely. He wasn’t lying, technically. He and Jooheon went to the strip club for the first time, just to see what it was like. Had he known what would have come from the trip, Changkyun never would have left the house.

“What about the… Dirty Dame?” Hansol asked, reading something off his phone. Changkyun felt his blood run cold. “It’s a strip club nearby. Says here it has girl and guy dancers.”

“That would be so much fun!” Soonyoung shouted.

“Um, I don’t know…” Chan tried being the voice of reason, but his words were drowned out by more shouts.

“Can’t we just have a party at one of our dorms?” Wonu said with a raised eyebrow. “You remembered what happened last time we went out altogether, don’t you? Seungkwan hid in a trashcan for almost forty five minutes while the cops looked for that rabid dog.”

“Okay, just because that time didn’t end well-”

“Don’t go.” Changkyun whispered, finally finding his voice. All eyes were on him in an instant.

“What?”

“Um, I’ve heard it’s not that great. The strip club I mean,” He coughed, trying to keep his voice level. “It’s around the corner from my apartment and it’s only ever filled with greasy people as far as I can tell.”

“Eh, we’ll think of something better, don’t you worry Channie.” Soonyoung rubbed his cheek against Chan’s who looked relieved that plans were changing.

“As long as the cops aren’t involved, I’ll try to stay calm.” He said with a faint smile. Changkyun swallowed a lump in his throat. He couldn’t help but feel isolated within his group of friends. They were all normal kids – worried about dating and tests and what they’re going to do that weekend. Changkyun didn’t have that privilege and it stung a little.

“Are you alright Chankgyun?” Seungcheol asked quietly, just loud enough for Changkyun to hear.

“I’m fine,” He answered, equally as quiet. “I’m just really, really tired.”

“Kyunnie, I know you don’t want to talk about it but I’m worried about you. What kind of job are you working that makes you this tired? It can’t be good for you.”

“I’m fine, really. I just… It’ll be okay soon, you know? It’ll just be a memory in a little bit and I never have to think about it again.”

“If you’re sure… just know you can come to me about anything. You’re my friend.” Seungcheol wrapped an arm around his waist and Changkyun rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder. The two stood there and watched the others argue, and Changkyun let himself relax.

* * *

  
“Changkyun?” Kihyun realized the two of them had a habit of running into each other in the strangest places.

“Hyung?” Changkyun muttered, eyes fluttering open just a hair. The younger boy was waiting for the bus, resting his head against the bus stop wall and falling asleep.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you sleep here.” Kihyun fussed, putting his bags down to take off his jacket and drape it over Changkyun’s shoulders. While it wasn’t winter anymore, the spring decided to be particularly bitter and the breeze was a little sharper than usual.

“I’m fine…” Changkyun yawned, letting a tear escape his exhausted eyes.

“You look about ready to collapse…” Kihyun felt his heart pull at the sight. Somehow, the kid looked even worse than he had that morning. The bags under his eyes were even darker, and his hair was a mess from the wind. What worried Kihyun the most was how pale Changkyun was looking. Maybe it was the lighting, he tried to tell himself, but a bigger part of him knew the boy was overworked and not taking care of himself at all.

Just then the bus pulled up and Changkyun barely managed to sway to his feet. Kihyun grabbed his bags and rushed forward to steady him. He swiped his bus pass twice, ignoring Changkyun’s mumbled protest and lead the boy to a double seat. Changkyun collapsed and instantly fell asleep, his head resting on Kihyun’s shoulder.  
Kihyun took a good look at the boy. He really did look older than he was – easily passing for Kihyun’s age. When the boy said he was twenty, that day in the elevator, Kihyun wanted to laugh. His hair was a light brown, but looking closely Kihyun could see faint blue in the bangs. There was still eyeliner smudged under his eyes, which only made the bags look worse. His chapped lips trembled a little in his sleep and Kihyun wanted to take the boy into his arms and never let him go. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

Their stop came far too soon, and Kihyun found himself trying to gently wake up the sleeping boy. Changkyun refused at first, but when Kihyun said the bus was going to leave he finally managed to gather the strength to stand. Kihyun helped him off the bus and into the apartment complex. Changkyun tried to hit the button for his floor but missed the ‘3’ due to his exhaustion. Without thinking, Kihyun pressed his own floor and let Changkyun lean against him.

“We’re at my apartment Kyunnie,” He said softly as he struggled to unlock the door. “Come on, you can take a nap on my couch.”

“I’m so tired…” Changkyun whimpered, eyes turning glossy.

“I know baby, go lay down okay? You can sleep all you want here. You’re safe.” Kihyun didn’t mean to let the pet name slip out, but he felt so protective over the boy. Changkyun didn’t seem to mind either. In fact, he smiled a little before collapsing onto the couch and instantly falling into a deep sleep. Kihyun frowned as he placed a blanket over Changkyun’s dead to the world form.

He went into the kitchen and started putting away his groceries as he did some mental math. From what he heard from the boy himself, Changkyun couldn’t have gotten more than four hours of sleep in the past two days, topped with having to focus in school and the physical exertion from his job for hours each night.

“How are you still alive?” He whispered, looking at Changkyun, who sniffled in his sleep. Kihyun shook his head and sat on the chair next to the couch, pulling out his laptop and letting his mind wander.

An hour later, Kihyun was surprised to see a decent amount of brainstorming on his usually empty document. None of the ideas were solid yet, but they could get there with enough scrubbing and love. Just as he was about to close his laptop, there was a frantic banging on his door. Kihyun jumped to his feet and ran. The last time someone knocked that frantically, his neighbor was in the middle of having a stroke and his daughter was desperately looking for help. Kihyun threw the door open to see a tearful Jooheon, panting and trying to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.

“H-hyung,” he half gasped, half sobbed. “I don’t know what to do. Changkyun never came home and none of his friends know where he is and-”

“Slow down, Changkyun’s here. He’s safe. I found him asleep at the bus stop by the school and brought him back.”

“Oh thank god…” Jooheon though his knees were going to give out. He peered around Kihyun and smiled when he saw Changkyun sleeping peacefully. “I’m sorry for barging in I just… Hyungwon hyung said you came to drop off food this morning and I remembered Kyunnie mentioning your apartment number and…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” It warmed Kihyun’s chest to see how much Changkyun’s friends cared about him, but it did worry him a little bit. Changkyun was a young adult, so why would his roommates be so worried if he was an hour late from school? Something wasn’t adding up, but Kihyun didn’t know what. “Here, come it. I can make you some tea? Or food? I just went shopping today.”

“O-oh… um, sure.” Jooheon blinked, shocked at the sudden offer. He followed Kihyun inside, trying not to be obvious that he was looking around at his home.

Changkyun woke up to the smell of food and the sound of light chatter. He blinked, his eyes burning but surprisingly able to stay open. He sat up on the couch and was pleasantly surprised to see his back wasn’t in any pain from sleeping there. He looked over to the kitchen and saw Jooheon laughing at something Kihyun said. He smiled and yawned before throwing off the blanket and standing to join them.

“You’re awake already?” Kihyun sounded genuinely shocked. Jooheon didn’t say anything, but Changkyun could see the look of concern on his face.

“My body isn’t used to sleeping so it wakes me up after a few hours.” He chuckled, his stomach tightening at how both Kihyun and Jooheon looked even more concerned.

“Well, are you hungry? I make dinner.” Kihyun stood and started fixing a plate for Changkyun before the boy in question even had time to answer.

“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you like that.” He said, unusually quiet. While he had been napping, Jooheon told Kihyun a whole array of interesting stories about the boy, from the time he stole a goat from the petting zoo to the incident with the octopus and the angry dog. From what Jooheon told him, Changkyun hadn’t always been so… subdued.

“No, don’t apologize!” Kihyun all but shoved him into an empty chair and gave him the plate. “I’m glad to see you’re finally resting. You make me tired just looked at you.” He laughed at his joke but saw Changkyun deflate a little.

“It’s just temporary” He said quietly as he played with his food. “It’ll be over soon enough.”

“Eat up Changkyun,” Jooheon urged his friend. “Minhyuk was worried you were skipping meals again.”

“That’s not… I’m not doing it on purpose,” Changkyun tried to defend himself though a mouth of rice. Who knew something so simple could make him want to cry? “I’ve just been too tired to eat anything…”

“I know Kyunnie.” Jooheon sounded sad but didn’t push the topic anymore. Changkyun inhaled the rest of the food in silence, finally feeling full for the first time in weeks.

“Thank you hyung.” Changkyun said when he was finished. Kihyun took his dirty plate before he had the chance to clear it himself and smiled.

“Anytime Changkyun,” He kept his tone light. “Seriously. You’re welcome here anytime.”

“We need to get ready…” Jooheon sounded apologetic and Kihyun felt his stomach drop. His eyes flicked to Changkyun, who just tensed his jaw and nodded. Jooheon turned to Kihyun and bowed slightly. “Thank you for taking care of Changkyun.”

“It was my pleasure,” The older boy was taken aback by how formal Jooheon sounded. The boys bid him goodbye one more time before he was left alone in his apartment once again.

For the first time since moving in, Kihyun felt like his apartment was too big.

* * *

  
“I’m sorry hyung,” Changkyun said to Jooheon as they rode the elevator down two stories to their floor. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys.” Jooheon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I know you didn’t meant to. We just always worry about you.”

“I know…”

“Changkyun, hold on,” Jooheon pulled him aside just before they were about to get to their door. Changkyun stopped and looked at him with confusion. Jooheon sighed again and took Changkyun’s hands in his own. “Why… why don’t you just quit? The rest of us make enough to pay rent easily and… and you would thrive at any other job. You- you don’t even have to get another job if you didn’t want to. We can cover your portion if you wanted to focus on school…”

“I can’t.” Changkyun sounded close to tears. He tried to pull his hands away but Jooheon wouldn’t let him.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, okay?” Changkyun tried pulling away again to no avail.

“Why not Changkyun? What’s so important that we have to sit back and watch you destroy yourself?” He was trying not to yell, but the thought of watching his friend waste away even more was making Jooheon emotional.

“I- I can’t say,” Changkyun broke, tears running down his face. “Please hyung, just d-drop it.”

“Kyunnie…” Jooheon was horrified. He never wanted to make Changkyun cry, especially not sobs that sounded like they were going to snap the boy in half. Jooheon wrapped Changkyun in his arms and let him cry into his shoulder. The older boy never felt so helpless in his life. “I’ll drop it for now, okay? But… you can come to be about anything. You know what right? Anything. No matter how upsetting or embarrassing or scary. You’re my brother Kyunnie. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m sorry hyung,” Changkyun sobbed into his shirt. “I just… I can’t not with this. Not yet.”

“Alright Kyunnie… let’s get back, okay?” Jooheon didn’t want Changkyun to get ready. He didn’t want to see his little brother pain his face and get dressed in such revealing clothing and dance for old men who weren’t satisfied with their wives. That was never the life he wanted for Changkyun. It was just supposed to be a joke job – something to do once or twice a week for cash – and Changkyun seemed to enjoy it at first. Jooheon could see the younger boy’s confidence grow tenfold but suddenly he seemed to shut off. One night and the old Changkyun was gone, and Jooheon didn’t know what happened.

* * *

  
Changkyun did what he did best. He grabbed his thighs, exposed his chest and the leather harnesses strapped against it, got dangerously close to the men who were calling for his attention. He winked and smirked and licked his lips, knowing it would drive up the tips. He spun and rolled his body in time to the pounding bass, trying to ignore the lust in the faces of the strangers watching him dance. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Minhyuk doing his signature cat dance on one of the circle stages, men and women alike surrounding him and throwing cash tips onto the stage.

A hand caressed his calf and Changkyun flinched back. In an instant, Jooheon was dragging the man out of the building. While it was a strip club, there were very strict rules about touching the dancers.

Changkyun cleared his mind again and let his body move on its own. He slapped his ass, watching as his audience seemed to shudder with the action. He saw someone throw a twenty onto his stage and he genuinely grinned for the first time that night. He bent down, making sure to show off just how tight his leather pants were, and picked it up, making a show of dragging the bill down his torso and tucking it into the waistband of his pants.

He knew he looked hot. With tight leather pants that had holes in the knees that showed off the fishnets he wore underneath paired with the harnesses that were barely covered by a vest and nothing else, Changkyun knew for a fact he looked like sin – something that always got him tips. It was a science at this point. Friday nights he worse leather and harnesses, Saturday night was costumes. Monday was more soft, dressing like a true submissive. Each day of the week brought different customers who liked certain things. He knew he didn’t have to cater to them, but when it meant a one to two hundred dollar difference at the end of the day he was willing to put his pride aside.

Changkyun slipped off the vest and dropped it onto the stage, causing an uproar from the gathered crowd. He smirked at them and shot a wink in a random direction. The song changed and he began dancing again, letting his hips sway and his hands wander. Just as the song ended he glanced up and saw the one person in the whole word he wished to never see again.

The man was handsome in his own way, with slicked back blond hair and a solid jaw. When Jackson made eye contact with Changkyun, he grinned like a shark and started walking towards him. Jackson knew he was about to go on break – Jackson basically memorized his entire schedule – but before the blond man could ruin his night, Jooheon snagged Changkyun’s arm and pulled him aside.

“Kyunnie we have an issue.” He hissed, his voice getting easier to hear as they walked back towards the dressing rooms and away from the thudding music.

“What is it?” He asked, trying to push down the bile rising in the back of his throat.

“One of your friends from school is here. He recognized me and tried to talk to me. I don’t know if he saw you yet though.”

“Oh god…” Changkyun felt his world crashing down around him. “W-who was it?”

“The little one. Chan?”

“Oh fuck.” He really thought he was going to throw up. He didn’t want anyone to know what he did, but having Chan – the youngest, the one who looked up to his hyungs – see him on stage, grinding for money?

“Changkyunnie, it’s been too long. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were running away from me.” A familiar voice caused a chill to run down Changkyun’s spine. Jooheon jumped away and bowed.

“Jackson-ssi, I didn’t know you were coming in tonight.” He said, carefully.

“I just wanted to see how my favorite employee was doing,” Jackson grinned and placed an arm around Changkyun’s shoulders. “You can go, I have him now.”

“Of course.” Jooheon bowed again and left, but not before shooting Changkyun a worried look.

“Changkyunnie, did you forget out little arrangement?” Jackson’s voice seemed to ooze like oil over Changkyun.

“Of course not Jackson-ssi,” Changkyun said quietly. “How could I?”

“Ah, you’re such a good boy. Now, why don’t we go into my office?”

“I-I have to go back out,” Changkyun said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “How else can I pay you back if I don’t work?”

“You’re so diligent,” Jackson pinched his cheek. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were working overtime just to pay me back so you could leave.”

“I don’t like being in debt, that’s all.”

“You’re so responsible for your age,” Jackson stared at Changkyun like he was a piece of meat and the boy wanted to sink into the floor. “You’re right, as usual. Go, but I expect eighty percent tonight, and I’ll know if you lie.” Changkyun jumped forward, tears in his eyes.

“Eighty? Jackson-ssi I can barely pay rent with the sixty you already take!”

“Either give me the eighty,” Jackson leaned back in his chair, looking almost bored with the exchange. “Or spend the rest of your shift with me.” Changkyun fumed, blinking back tears of rage and embarrassment.

“I’ll put the eighty percent on your desk before I leave.” He said, his bottom lip trembling despite how hard he was trying to keep it still. Jackson sensed his weakness and grinned.

“Such a smart boy.” He said, shooing him away with a wave of his hand. Changkyun ran from the office, almost running head first into someone who was coming from the opposite direction. Arms caught him at the last second, preventing him from kissing the floor.

“Kyunnie? What happened?” Minhyuk asked, looking at the younger boy with worry.

“Nothing hyung,” Changkyun muttered, trying to wipe his eyes without smudging his makeup. “Jackson-ssi wanted to talk to me, that’s all.”

“What’s going on between you guys?” Minhyuk asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He had speculated what was going on between their boss and their youngest friend, but seeing the state the boy was in most of his speculations were thrown out the window. “Did… did he hurt you?”

“Of course not.” Changkyun said, a little too quickly. Minhyuk narrowed his eyes.

“Changkyun, what did he do-?”

“I have to go back out,” Changkyun moved from Minhyuk’s grip and turned away. “Nothing’s wrong, okay? You don’t have to worry.”

“Wait-” Before he could call to the boy, Changkyun was gone. Minhyuk fought the bad feeling in his chest and knocked on the office door.

“Come in,” his boss said, his voice muffled from the door. “Ah, Minnie. What brings you to my office tonight?”

“Jackson-ssi, did something happen to Changkyun?” He asked, fiddling with the tail from his costume. Jackson’s smile drooped for a moment before his usual grin was back in place.

“Ah, that little trouble maker,” He chuckled. “He did something very naughty a few months ago and is paying me back for the damage control.”

“What… what did he do?” Minhyuk had the sneaking suspicion something was wrong. His Changkyun would never do anything bad.

“That’s none of your concern, Minnie. It’s between me and Changkyunnie.” Jackson put a dangerous edge on his voice and Minhyuk felt his stomach drop.

“Of course, I’m sorry.” He said, hating how his voice trembled.

“Now, was there something else you needed? I have a lot of work to finish up.” Jackson sounded bored and Minhyuk had the sudden urge to sob.

“No… I’ll get back to my job now.” He said quietly. Jackson just hummed and went back to the paperwork on his desk. Minhyuk left and managed to make it to the dressing room before breaking down.

* * *

  
Changkyun sneered as he opened the door to Jackson’s office. The man was sitting in his chair with his feet up on the desk, looking like there wasn’t a care in the world.

“Ah, Changkyunnie, all done for the evening?” He asked playfully. Changkyun had learned to hate the light tone Jackson spoke to him in.

“Here’s your eighty percent.” He said, placing the large stack of bills on the desk. Jackson took it and quickly thumbed through it.

“You’ve been making more recently.” He commented offhandedly.

“I’ve been learning what the clients want.” Changkyun ground out. Every moment he spent in the office was a moment he wanted to scream.

“You’re one of my best workers. Maybe I’ll increase your debt just to keep you around.” He glanced at Changkyun, a challenge in his eyes. Changkyun knew it was a test, which was why he bit the inside of his cheek to stay silent.

“I’m just doing what I need to do.” He whimpered. He hated how he could see the amusement in Jackson’s eyes.

“Go home Changkyun,” he said after the silent stare down ended. “I’ve had clients complain that you look too tired. I think you like fine, but they come first.”

“Good night, Jackson-ssi.” Changkyun ground out before turning on his heel and storming out of the club. Hyungwon, Minhyuk and Jooheon were waiting for him by the exit, looking anxious. When he threw open the door, he felt a weight come off his chest. He slipped the hundred dollar bill that he had hidden in his harness into his bag and spit a mouthful of blood onto the cement.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, his tongue prodding the spot in his cheek that was freely bleeding from gnawing on it. “This place makes me sick.”


	3. Exposed

Changkyun woke up feeling well rested for the first time in months. When he had gotten home, he had passed out in his makeup and leather pants, completely dead to the world. He checked his phone and saw it was almost two in the afternoon. He smiled a little and turned over to go back to sleep when he remembered he told Kihyun he would treat the older boy to lunch around three. He bolted up in his bed and scrambled to the bathroom that was thankfully open.

“Ah, morning sunshine!” Minhyuk’s voice drifted through the apartment as the bathroom door slammed shut. Changkyun couldn’t remember taking a faster shower in his life, the scalding water washing frantic suds and day old eyeliner down the drain. When he emerged less than five minutes later, Minhyuk was waiting.

“Hyung, could you-?” His question was cut off by a snicker.

“Help you get ready for your date?” He asked back, eyes shining. “Why, of course my most precious friend Changkyun.”

“Why are you so eager?” Changkyun asked, suddenly suspicious of his roommate, who just shrugged and raised his eyebrows.

“What? A guy can’t excited that his friend is about to go on a cute date with his cute neighbor?”

“It’s… I never said it was a date.” Changkyun felt his ears turn red.

“But you never technically denied it,” Minhyuk took the younger boy’s hand and led him towards his room. “Come here kid, you have eyeliner smudged all over your face.”

Minhyuk took a makeup wipe and began cleaning the last remains of his eyeliner from the night before. Minhyuk’s room was very different from Changkyun’s. While the younger boy often left his room a mess of clothing and notebooks, it was decorated simply. Minhyuk’s room, on the other hand, looked like a bomb exploded in it. There were posters covering every wall, clothing shoved in every drawer possible and a sea of makeup on a small vanity.

“He wouldn’t want to date me.” Changkyun said quietly as Minhyuk brushed a soft brush over his eyelid. Minhyuk paused, shocked to hear the boy in front of him say something like that. He scrunched his eyebrows and went back to blending the pink eye shadow around Changkyun’s eyes – much less puffy after the night of rest, Minhyuk was pleased to note.

“And why is that?” He asked carefully. He blended the pigment around the corner of the eye and slightly below.

“I’m… no good for him.” He whispered, and Minhyuk felt his heart break.

“Who said that?” He countered. He put the small brush down and picked up a bigger one. He began gently swiping the brush along Changkyun’s cheek bones, adding a pink highlight that doubled as blush.

“I mean, just look at me,” Changkyun sounded so tired, despite getting almost fifteen hours of sleep. “He’s… I’m just a whore. He could never love me.”

“Now listen here,” Minhyuk could handle people calling him a whore. He was used to it. But hearing someone he considered a younger brother use that language about himself made something in Minhyuk boil. “You are not a whore, do you hear me? Sure, you dance, but some people do so much worse for less. Kihyun would be lucky to catch your eye, do you hear me?”

“Hyung, you don’t have to do that.” He retorted, his voice still trembling.

“I’m serious Changkyun. You’re such an amazing young man. I don’t know… I don’t know what’s going on over at the club, but you don’t deserve whatever Jackson is making you do.”

“Wha- no, no that’s-” Changkyun whipped his head up and looked at Minhyuk with wide, frightened eyes.

“Changkyun, I may act dumb sometimes but I’m not. I can see something is going on, and as much as I want you to trust us and open up… I can understand wanting to handle things on your own,” Minhyuk motioned for Changkyun to close his eyes and began lining his lids with a soft brown. “I just… I just wanted to remind you that you’re not alone in this Kyunnie. I know we only met at the club, but you’re one of the most important people in my life now. We have to stick together, you know?”

“I’m sorry for worrying you hyung.” Changkyun said, eyes still closed. Minhyuk’s hands stilled over the younger’s face.

“Don’t apologize,” He said, trying to keep his voice from showing how hard he was trying not to cry. “We were thrown into an unforgiving world, but we have each other. We can fight this as long as we stick together.”

“I love you hyung…” Changkyun sniffled. Minhyuk tapped his cheek gently and Changkyun opened his eyes to inspect the other’s handy work. “Wow… you’re really good at this. You should be a makeup artist or something.”

“You’re sweet, but I’m not that good.” Minhyuk felt himself flush at the praise.

“Seriously hyung,” Changkyun was staring at himself in the mirror, as if he didn’t recognize his reflection. “I can do the heavy stuff for work but I would never be able to do something like this. I look… handsome.”

“You are handsome, even without makeup.” Minhyuk tried to argue, but Changkyun wasn’t listening.

“Can you help me pick out an outfit too? I don’t know what to wear on a not-date.”

* * *

  
“Ah, Changkyun,” Kihyun’s eyes widened when they saw the other. “You look…”

“Yeah, I finally got enough sleep for once.” Changkyun laughed, not noticing the faint blush on Kihyun’s face. The writer knew Changkyun was attractive, but seeing him in those worn jeans, shirt with a flannel over top and light makeup made Kihyun realize just how handsome the other boy was. Kihyun decided being rested and dressed comfortably really brought out the best in people.

“So, um, where did you want to go?” Kihyun didn’t know where his nerves suddenly came from. While he was waiting for Changkyun, he didn’t feel anxious in the slightest. In fact, he was very relaxed. But now that he was face to face with the other boy he felt his body flushing.

“I’m really not that picky, actually. I don’t know what you normally go for but there’s this burrito place by the school-”

“That sounds amazing actually.” Kihyun grinned at how Changkyun’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Really? O-okay!” He said with a little bounce. Kihyun smiled back and followed Changkyun out of his apartment to the bus stop. The ride wasn’t that long – maybe fifteen minutes if traffic was good – but Changkyun did a good job of filling that time with stories.

“Is that why you stole that goat?” Kihyun tried to hold back his snicker. Changkyun shot him a scandalized look.

“I didn’t steal her!” He defended himself profusely. “I don’t know what Jooheon hyung told you but she wanted to come with me! Crawled into my backpack all on her own! When I tried to leave she started crying!”

“So you thought trying to smuggle her out in your bag was a good idea?” Kihyun raised an eyebrow at whatever explanation he was about to receive.

“Look, if that dog hadn’t started barking and scared her, we easily could have gotten out of there together.” Changkyun said seriously. He held his serious expression for a moment longer before bursting into laughter. He grabbed Kihyun’s arms and laughed into the older boy’s shoulder and Kihyun bent over and rested his forehead on Changkyun’s head. By the time they calmed down, they were both out of breath and at their stop.

“Oh thank god, there isn’t a line,” Changkyun mumbled as they entered the burrito place. “Depending on the time of day, there isn’t even any standing room.”

“I guess classes are still in?” Kihyun offered and Changkyun nodded.

“That makes sense, which means this place is going to be packed in about half an hour.” He grimaced a little and Kihyun snickered at the sour expression.

“You’re cute.” He said without thinking. When Changkyun turned to him with wide eyes, Kihyun busied himself with ordering his meal. When both burritos were lovingly wrapped in foil and waiting by the register, Kihyun pushed past Changkyun and handed the cashier his card.

“Wait- hey! I was paying!” Changkyun whined, trying to give the girl behind the counter his card as well, only to be gently shouldered out of the way again. The girl watched with amusement as she swiped Kihyun’s card and handed the boys their food. Changkyun followed Kihyun to a clear booth and slid into the seat.

“What’s with that face?” Kihyun asked in amusement when he saw the pout that was pinching Changkyun’s handsome face.

“I wush supposhed to pay…” His words mushed together because of his pout but he refused to let up. Kihyun snorted into his burrito and tossed a piece of lettuce at the boy.

“Eat your burrito, you big baby,” He grinned again when Changkyun scrunched his nose before giving up and taking a big bite of his food. “Ya, you got some on your face.”

Changkyun blinked at him for a second before reaching for a napkin. Kihyun beat him to it and wiped the sour cream off the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Both boys froze, neither expecting Kihyun to be so bold. Changkyun flushed bright red and tried to cover his embarrassment by taking a sip of his drink. Kihyun just stared at his thumb for a second before regaining this thoughts and using a napkin to clean it off.

“So…” Changkyun said but had to clear his throat when the rest of the sentence got caught.

“Um, I really like this place,” Kihyun stuttered, feeling the back of his neck burn. “I might have to come back next time I have the craving for a burrito.”

“Does that happen often?” Changkyun cracked a smile and Kihyun relaxed a little.

“Actually, a surprising amount. I find myself wanting burritos more than you’d think.” He chuckled and let the conversation fall into a comfortable lull as they enjoyed their food and each other’s presence.

“H-hyung?” A voice caught Changkyun’s attention. His blood ran cold as he slowly turned to look at who called him.

“Chan,” He said, his blood pounding in his ears but his voice oddly calm. “Did you just get out of class?”

“Um, yeah,” Chan looked strange, like he was trying to hold back tears. “Look, about last night…” His words were like an arrow through his chest.

“I don’t know what you saw, but whatever it was… it wasn’t what it looked like, okay?” Changkyun didn’t know why he was feeling so defensive, but the idea of having Chan know his secret made him want to throw up.

“Hyung, are they forcing you to do that?” The boy asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Changkyun was expecting a few different outcomes from this conversation, but this was not one of them. In fact, he was caught so off guard that he wasn’t able to come up with a lie in time.

“I- um… They…. I, um…” He stuttered, staring at Chan with growing horror.

“Wait, Changkyun,” Kihyun felt the food in his mouth turn to ash as he swallowed it. “You’re… you’re not being forced, right?”

Changkyun whipped his head around to look at Kihyun and the older boy could have sobbed at how scared the younger looked. Changkyun just looked between Kihyun and Chan, his heart beating faster and faster. He never felt more cornered.

“Don’t worry about it Chan-ya,” he finally managed to choke out. “It’s… I’m working through it, okay? I won’t be there for much longer.”

“If someone’s blackmailing you, we can talk to Jun hyung… His dad is a lawyer right? He can- he can help you?” Chan stuttered, trying to say everything that he was thinking all at the same time. Changkyun stood and pulled the younger boy into a hug.

“Thank you, but I can handle this,” he pulled back and gave Chan a watery smile. “You trust your hyung, right?”

“Of course I do! I just…” Chan scowled and wiped his eyes angrily. “I just don’t like seeing you sad. You… you weren’t happy last night, I could tell. You were smiling but your eyes were so fucking sad...”

“Oh Channie, you don’t have to worry about me.” He pulled Chan back into a hug and let the other boy wrap his arms tightly around his chest.

“W-we should talk to the others too,” Chan said into his shirt. Changkyun tensed and Chan felt it. “Hyung seriously. You shouldn’t be going through this alone. Do your roommates know what’s going on? I saw Jooheon hyung there, and Minhyuk hyung. They work there too… are they being blackmailed too?”

“N-no, they’re not. As far as I know at least.” Changkyun let Chan go, wondering how he could save this conversation.

“Please hyung, let us help you.” Chan begged, not caring what it took.

“Like I said, it should be over soon. Until then… trust me.” Changkyun gave Chan a pointed look and the younger boy backed down.

“If something feels off I’m going to get you help,” He said, clenching his fists. “I’m not going to sit here and watch you hurt yourself.”

“You’re a good kid,” Changkyun ruffled his hair before realizing something. “Wait, why were you there in the first place?” It was Chan’s turn to blush.

“I, um… Hansol hyung said there were male dancers and I wanted to see…” he blushed even harder and for a second Changkyun thought he was going to pass out from the blood rushing to his face. Chan scrunched his eyes and spat out the words quickly. “I wanted to see if I likedboysbecauseIstilldon’tknowyet.”

“Woah, I understand” Changkyun placed a comforting hand on Chan’s shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with being confused. But if you want to watch dancers, just come over to the apartment. I’m sure Minhyuk hyung would love to give a show to someone as cute and nice as you. We’re all sick of dancing for greasy old men so you’d be a great audience.” Changkyun winked and Chan seemed to whither with embarrassment.

“Yah, hyung…” Chan whined and tried to pull away. He awkwardly checked his phone and almost threw the device at the wall. “Shit! Class started five minutes ago! I have to go! I’ll text you hyung!” H called as he sprinted from the building, leaving two confused boys to watch him run. Changkyun sat back down and tried to take a bite of his food but found his appetite had been completely chased away.

“Kyunnie…” Kihyun had watched the exchange with a sour feeling in his stomach. He saw how Changkyun had deflected the situation so easily and knew he was going to do the same to him. “Are they blackmailing you?” He didn’t miss the way Changkyun froze.

“Let’s not talk about this here, please.” Changkyun seemed to shake, grasping his hands together did nothing to stop the tremors.

“Will you talk to me when we get back to my apartment?” Kihyun tested the waters. Changkyun swallowed heavily and hesitated before giving the older boy a small nod. “Would you want to get ice cream on the way back?”

“Could we?” Changkyun sounded so small that Kihyun’s heart ached.

“You know, I have all these pillows and blankets at home that I don’t use… we could always make something out of them?” He offered, hoping to get a reaction from Changkyun, who instantly took the bait and perked up.

“You mean like,” His voice dropped to a whisper, as if he was saying something scandalous. “A pillow fort?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Kihyun whispered back, leaning in close. Changkyun leaned in too, until their noses were almost touching.

“Deal.” Changkyun smiled and Kihyun thought he had never seen a more beautiful smile on any other person.

“Come on then, let’s get a to-go bag and head back.” He wrapped the rest of his burrito in its foil, waiting for Changkyun to do the same.

* * *

  
“Are you alright to talk now?” Kihyun asked carefully. Their ice cream had been finished as soon as the blanket fort had been constructed. Changkyun was settled between two large pillows, looking like the cat that got the mouse.

“I guess I can’t avoid it forever.” He muttered, turning over so he was looking up at the blanket ceiling. Kihyun crawled over and pushed a pillow out of the way so he could be flush to Changkyun’s side. When the younger boy leaned into Kihyun’s touch, he began to run his fingers through his hair in hopes of keeping Changkyun calm. Kihyun could tell this was going to be tough for the younger boy. Changkyun took a deep breath.

“What happened baby? Why are they blackmailing you?” Kihyun said as calmly as possible. Changkyun seemed to melt into his touch, smiling faintly at the name.

“I started working there about two months ago. At first it was just me and Jooheon, working one, maybe two nights a week for some quick cash. It was really fun at first, actually. I met the other dancers and we became really close and it was a surprising confidence boost to have people give you money just for being hot,” Changkyun gave a humorless chuckle before continuing. “About a month ago, I was called back to Jackson-ssi’s office. There was a man there with him, but I had never seen him before. Jackson told me to take him to one of the spare dressing rooms. I didn’t know why, but I did what I was told,” Kihyun snaked his arms around Changkyun’s waist and pulled the boy close to him, as if he was afraid of Changkyun disappearing. “The man… the second the door closed he started taking my clothes off and touching me. I didn’t know what was happening so I fought back. I remembered the tips I read about what you should do if you’re ever attacked and I kicked him in the knee. I scratched at his eyes and aimed where the sun doesn’t shine. Jackson came back when he heard the man yell and started screaming at me. Apparently he was a very important client who had paid extra money to have some… ‘alone time’ with me. Jackson had to pay him off to not sue or press charges against me. Ever since then I’ve been under his thumb. Sixty percent of my tips go to him every night to pay him back, except for last night. He made me pay him eighty percent – either that or spend the night with him, and I didn’t even want to consider what he might have done if I hadn’t paid up… though part of me can’t help but wonder what would happen if I did… maybe he’s pay my debts faster if I did whatever he wanted me for…”

“Changkyun…” Kihyun was beyond disgusted. He couldn’t even fathom that someone as sweet and caring as Changkyun could be used for such awful things. He pulled the boy even closer to his chest and kissed his hair as Changkyun cried into his shirt. He whispered nonsense comfort into Changkyun’s hair, placing soft kisses along his forehead as he went. When Changkyun pulled back an inch, Kihyun kissed his way down his nose and cheek, muttering about how amazing and handsome and wonderful the boy was. When Changkyun leaned forward to let their lips touch, Kihyun wanted to pull back. He didn’t want Changkyun to think he was using him, especially not after the boy finally opened up to him, but he found himself unable to stop.

Changkyun tasted like mint chocolate chip ice cream and tears. The kiss was light, barely any pressure, and it was wet from Changkyun’s crying, but Kihyun thought it was perfect. He kept placing gentle kisses on Changkyun’s lips, on Changkyun’s nose, on any spot of Changkyun’s face that Kihyun felt was being neglected.

“Why?” Changkyun said, his voice rough.

“Why what?” Kihyun whispered back, feeling his own words catch in his tightening throat.

“Why do you care so much? Why do you care so much about a filthy whore?” Changkyun spit out the words, wrapping his arms around his torso – as if to make himself smaller.

Kihyun felt all the air leave his body as he pull the boy into his chest.

“Because you’re worthy of love, Changkyun,” He said as a tear worked his way down his cheek and into Changkyun’s hair. The younger boy began to sob again, his fingers clutching Kihyun’s shirt as if it were a lifeline. “And because you never, ever, did anything to deserve the shit you’ve gone through. You deserve happiness and love.”

Changkyun pulled back and all but slammed his lips against Kihyun’s. Thankfully they were already laying down, otherwise Kihyun would have been thrown back with the force. Kihyun matched Changkyun’s pressure and power, never letting Changkyun feel like he was doing all the work. When Changkyun finally pulled back, both boys were flushed and panting a little.

“Do… do you want to stay here? We can sleep in the blanket fort?” Kihyun suggested, his mind a little muddled from the kiss to think straight.

“Can I?” Changkyun asked, suddenly feeling insecure. He never meant to break down like that, and he especially never meant to basically attacked Kihyun the way he had. Much to his relief, Kihyun didn’t seem upset by the rough kissing. In fact, he seemed the opposite of upset.

“Of course,” Kihyun kissed his forehead again. “I’m sure I have some clothes that’ll fit you.”

“Thank you hyung…” Changkyun felt his eyes fill again and couldn’t help the pang of guilt. After everything, he still somehow had tears?

“Please, don’t thank me… I wish I could do so much more for you.” Kihyun said as he stood. Changkyun didn’t question his words. When Kihyun came back with a pile of fabric in his hand, Changkyun scurried to the bathroom to change. When he came back, Kihyun was already settled into the pile of pillows, breathing gently.

“Goodnight hyung.” Changkyun said as he squeezed in next to the other boy. Kihyun shifted so Changkyun could press himself into his side.

“G’night baby,” Kihyun slurred. He buried his nose into Changkyun’s neck before sighing contentedly. “Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have the next few chapters planned out already, and it's going to be a roller coaster. I'm looking at anywhere between five and eight more chapters, but that could wildly change depending on how it works out.  
> If anyone has any suggestions or questions let me know! I'd be happy to clear anything up or answer anything.


	4. All Together

“Kyunnie, did you order something?” Minhyuk’s voice called across the small apartment. It was one of their few days off - the Dirty Dame was closed for some repair work - and the boys were taking full advantage of their free time. Hyungwon was still asleep, despite it being almost three in the afternoon, while Changkyun and Jooheon were cuddled up on the couch as they binged a new show that they had been meaning to catch up on. They made it through season one already that day.

“With what money?” He retorted offhandedly, not taking his eyes off the screen. He jumped forward when something happened in the show, throwing the plastic bowl that once held popcorn onto the second hand carpet.

“I dunno, but there was a package waiting when I went to get the mail and it has your name on it.” Minhyuk said, gently tossing the box to Changkyun, who caught it easily. Kyun turned the box around, looking at it and trying to remember if maybe he had actually ordered something? The box was fairly small and rectangular, like a shoebox, and it most certainly had his name on the label.

“What if it’s a bomb?” Jooheon asked, looking at the box with a worried expression. Both Minhyuk and Changkyun snort.

“Then we blow up,” Changkyun said with a laugh as he opened the box. The joking air instantly dropped when he saw what was inside. “No fucking way.” He breathed, pulling it out.

It was a pair of shoes, but not any pair. They were custom sneakers, with black canvas and silvers constellations mapping out the night sky. He recognized the positions of the constellations, so used to seeing them when he was a child back home. He turned the shoe around, shaking it upside down – looking to see if it was some sort of joke, because there was no was it wasn’t. Even the tongue said the shoe was his size, but how?

“Those look kinda expensive.” Jooheon said quietly, eyeing the shoes as if they were about to explode in Changkyun’s hand.

“Well, they’re definitely not cheap,” Changkyun said in awe, his eyes never leaving the shoe. He thought about the one pair of shoes he owned, outside of the ones he used for work. His own sneakers were old and falling apart, the bottom being held together solely by some electrical tape Minhyuk had found in one of the dressing rooms at the club and had brought home. Changkyun couldn’t remember the last time he actually bought himself something nice.

“Wait, there’s a note on the order form.” Minhyuk said, pulling the form from the box. The form had all the basic information on it – price, address to be shipped to, address it was shipped from – but at the bottom there was a ‘notes’ section, where a short message was typed.

“Saw your shoes were ready to bite the dust and I remembered what you said about the stars back home. I saw these and thought of you. By the way, I stole your shoe size last time you were over. Hope they fit. Kihyun.” Changkyun read, his ears burning when he got to who sent the package. When he had slept over the older boy’s apartment, he had talked a lot about his childhood, from moving around a lot because of his father’s job to how he wanted to be a doctor or an astronaut because he wanted to make a difference in the world. Kihyun had listened to Changkyun talk for hours, never looking bored, even for a second.

“Kihyun hyung is your sugar daddy now?” Jooheon asked, a wide smile breaking across his face. Changkyun blushed harder and placed the shoe back in the box gently.

“What? Of course not!” He denied the claim, not knowing why in the world Kihyun would go out of his way to buy his new shoes, even if he desperately needed them.

“Oooooh someone has a sugar daddy!” Jooheon cried, jumping up and down on the couch.

“He’s not my sugar daddy!” Changkyun screeched, trying to make his friend shut up.

“Who’s got a sugar daddy?” Hyungwon shuffled from his room and rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. He either didn’t realize his hair was sticking up in every direction, or he just didn’t care. There was a beat before he found a face full of pillow, thrown skillfully by the youngest in the apartment, whose face was steaming from his blush.

“Go back to sleep hyung,” Changkyun said, voice deep and threatening but Hyungwon knew his friend was as serious as a toddler. “I don’t have a sugar daddy and I don’t know why Kihyun hyung bought me new shoes.”

“Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you’re basically dating.” Hyungwon said, unaffected by the noise levels in the apartment. He walked across the living room to the kitchen, where he started to dig through the fridge for something easy to eat.

“Dating?” Changkyun choked, eyes almost popping out of his head. Jooheon and Minhyuk whipped their heads around to look at Hyungwon, who looked back with a lazily raised eyebrow. He took a gulp from the milk carton before putting it back in the fridge.

“How are you so oblivious? I’ve literally met the guy twice and even I can see how whipped he is for Kyunnie.”

“What-?” Before Changkyun could turn an unidentified shade of red, his phone dinged. He pulled it out of his pocket and felt himself smile softly.

 _“Hey Kyunnie! Would you want to run some errands with me? I don’t want to go alone and you said you had a free day today._ ” Speak of the devil.

_“Sure! Meet you by the front doors in like fifteen?”_

_“Sounds good_.” Kihyun had a weird habit of adding unusual emoticons to his messages to Changkyun, and the younger boy found it was so… so Kihyun, and he thought it was adorable.

“See, absolutely whipped.” Hyungwon repeated himself as he bit a piece of bread that he was still too tired to bother toasting.

“S-shut up.” Changkyun shuttered before running to his room. He quickly changed and attempted to recreate the look Minhyuk gave him the day he and Kihyun went to lunch together. It ended up being a sad replica, but Changkyun was proud of himself. Checking his phone, he saw his fifteen minutes was almost up. He went back to the living room, where his three roommates were sitting on the couch, all on their respective phones. He slipped on the new sneakers, secretly loving how clean and new they felt.

“Use protection.” Hyungwon said without looking up from his phone. Changkyun choked on his saliva and slammed the door behind him instead of saying a proper goodbye. He tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator seemed to crawl down to the ground floor. He jumped out as soon as the metal doors started to slide open and came to a skidded halt when he saw Kihyun already waiting for him.

Kihyun hadn’t noticed him yet, so Changkyun took the opportunity to observe the older boy. Kihyun was standing with his weight slightly on his left side, his hands crossed in front of his body. Changkyun could see his favorite bag slung across his torso, the thin leather strap accentuating his chest in a way that made Changkyun’s breath caught in his throat. Kihyun shifted to check his phone, and Changkyun realized he was been watching the other boy for about five minutes. Mentally scolding himself, he ran over to Kihyun, whose face lit up with the brightest smile Changkyun had ever seen. Changkyun felt himself smiling back.

“And here I thought you were going to stand me up,” Kihyun joked, his smile growing until his eyes were crescents. He looked Changkyun up and down and gave the younger boy a smug look when his eyes landed on his feet. “They fit well, I’m assuming?”

“Oh, um yeah,” Changkyun felt his ears warm. “I… I don’t know why you bought me new shoes but thank you so much. I’ll pay you back as soon as I can-”

“Pay me back?” Kihyun interrupted, looking like Changkyun had just slapped him in the face with a raw squid. “Changkyun, I bought them for you because I wanted to. I don’t want you to pay me back.” Changkyun blinked a few times before stuttering back a response.

“B-but they’re so nice and I can’t just let you spend so much on me because I don’t deserve it at all-”

“Changkyun, I will be insulted if you try to pay me back,” Kihyun said, internally smirking a little when he saw how Changkyun instantly accepted the situation. It didn’t look like the boy was going to argue it anymore. “And I swear if you say you don’t deserve nice things one more time I’m going to lock you up and shower you in affection until you believe me.” Changkyun flushed at the idea of Kihyun showering him with affection. Then he blushed maroon when he thought about being locked up by Kihyun.

“H-hyung…” He wheezed, his eyes wide. Kihyun saw his distress and raised an eyebrow.

“You alright? You look like you’re about to pass out.” He smirked a little, loving how flustered he was able to make the younger boy.

“You can’t just…” Changkyun was finding it hard to think. “Now all I can think about is you l-locking me up and-” He bit off the end of his own sentence with a deep breath and Kihyun realized why the younger boy seemed so flushed. He felt his own cheeks burn as he spun on his heel.

“Well then,” He said a little too loudly. “Why don’t we get going?”

“S-sounds good.” Changkyun followed behind, sounding faint. They walked in silence, the cool breeze calming both of their faces. After two blocks of comfortable silence, Kihyun started a conversation.

“Anyway, I’m glad you like the shoes,” He said as he pressed the button for the crossing sign. “I saw them and remembered what you said about missing home… and how your other pair of sneakers were about one step away from turning to dust.”

“I really love them hyung,” Changkyun smiled at his feet, watching how the light glinted off the silver stars. “Thank you, really.”

“You deserve nice things,” Kihyun’s voice took a more serious edge. “And… I like seeing you smile, so I want to give you more nice things to see you smile more.”

“You really don’t have to… Just spending time with you makes me happy.” Changkyun started cursing at himself in his head for being so cheesy. Kihyun yelped a little at the honesty in the other boy’s words before biting back a grin. Kihyun let his hand slip between their bodies and lace his fingers through Changkyun’s. When the younger boy didn’t pull away, Kihyun tightened his grip a little so their fingers wouldn’t slip apart when they walked.

“I meant to ask earlier,” Kihyun suddenly remembered why he was running the errands. “Tonight my friends from the rec center are throwing a game night. Would you and the others want to come?”

“What rec center?” Changkyun asked, trying to think of the area that was still fairly unknown to him. Kihyun mentally smacked himself.

“Right, I never told you this, did I?” He felt stupid for a moment. “My friends Hyunwoo hyung, Hoseok hyung and I have this dance class-slash-team we teach once a week at the rec center down by the old factories.”

“You dance?” Changkyun’s eyes sparkled so brightly Kihyun though he was going to go blind.

“Well, I try my best,” He laughed as he tugged Changkyun to the first store they needed to stop at. It was just the dollar store, but he needed to get plates and napkins and such. Last time Hyunwoo threw a party, Kihyun was left to do the dishes. He grabbed a hand basket and started wandering the store. “I’m more there for moral support and demonstrations.”

“I’d love to come,” Changkyun said quietly, looking at Kihyun with wide eyes that seemed to hold all the awe and innocence in the universe. Kihyun felt his heart skip a beat. “I’ll text the others.” He quickly sent a text to their roommate chat. Kihyun glanced over his shoulder and snickered at the chat name.

“Whoreos?” He asked, not bothering to hide his laughter. Changkyun chuckled as he hit send and tucked his phone back in his pocket.

“When we were first all getting to know each other, Hyungwon hyung brought some oreos with him to the club. Minhyuk hyung stole some so Hyungwon hyung called him a whore. Minhyuk said, and I quote, ‘oreo for the whoreo’ as he shoved three in his mouth at once. It’s been an inside joke since.” Changkyun grinned at the memory, but Kihyun couldn’t help feel a pang in his chest.

“Sounds like you guys got into a lot of trouble.” He said, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“That first month was wild,” Changkyun snickered, picking up an off brand bag of peanuts from the snack section. “I could write a book with the shenanigans we got into.”

“Did you really just use the word ‘shenanigans’ in 2018?” Kihyun looked like he was about to cry with how hard he was trying not to laugh. Kyun beat him to it and barked out a laugh so loud that the worker in the other aisle peeked his head around to see what the noise was.

“Hey, I happen to think my vocabulary is unique and fun.” He said playfully pushing Kihyun’s shoulder.

“I never said it wasn’t,” Kihyun wrapped his arm around Changkyun’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “I think it’s kinda cute actually.”

“Only kinda?” Changkyun retorted but felt his voice fail him as he stared into Kihyun eyes. He hadn’t been that close to the other boy since the night they kissed in the blanket fort. Neither of them brought it up after that night, and Kyun was starting to think maybe he dreamt the softness of Kihyun’s lips against his own.

“Maybe more than kinda,” Kihyun whispered, his breath hitting Changkyun’s lips. Before either of them could make a move, Kihyun’s phone rang loudly. The two boys flung apart as if they had been electrocuted. Kihyun hastily answered his phone when Changkyun busied himself with looking at some display of cheap pens. “Hoseok hyung? Yeah I getting the stuff now. What? I- I don’t know what you-” He paused to listen to the person on the other line. “Okay that’s unfair. I don’t call you out for shit like- okay maybe I do but… yeah? He’s… you know what? I’ll see you soon. Bye.” He hung up and signed loudly.

“Sounds like you have pretty interesting friends.” Changkyun commented. He grinned when Kihyun grimaced.

“Hoseok is an… interesting person,” He said, sounding tired but smiling nonetheless. “I have no doubt that the two of you will get along.”

“Well that’s good to hear.” Changkyun hummed.

“Why’s that?” Kihyun asked, wondering why Kyun suddenly sounded so content. Changkyun blinked at him as if his response was the most obvious thing in the world.

“He’s obviously important to you,” He said, tilting his head slightly to one side. Kihyun thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. “And you’re important to me, so obviously I want to be friends with the people who you care about.”

“I’m important to you?” Kihyun asked dumbly. Changkyun’s eyes widened when he realized what he said and blushed.

“Um… I mean, yeah… of course you are,” He said, his words stumbling over each other. “I mean, you’re my friend and I think you’re really cool, and… I look… I look up to you a lot and I think you’re really handsome and I…” he trailed off, his cheeks burning in horror as he realized what he had rambled about.

“Well, I look up to you too Kyunnie,” Kihyun said softly, his heart melting at how perplexed Changkyun looked. “You’re so strong. I don’t think I could handle what you do, even just a fraction of it. You handle this situation at work, and classes, and paying rent, and yet you still managed to smile and make the room a little brighter when you enter it. You’re amazing.”

“Hyung…” Changkyun blinked back tears. He hadn’t been expecting the sudden confession.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Kihyun rushed over to him, leaving the basket on the floor. He gently cupped Changkyun’s cheek and watched in awe as the younger boy nuzzled his face into his touch. “Anyone with eyes can see how strong you are.”

Changkyun choked back a small sob and let the warmth from Kihyun’s hand. He looked straight into Kihyun’s eyes and saw nothing but raw honesty. Without thinking, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Kihyun’s lips before quickly pulling away. Before he could get out of reach, Kihyun caught his cheek again and pressed a kiss of his own onto Changkyun’s forehead.

“Now,” Kihyun gave Changkyun a smile that made the sun seem dim. “We have errands to run.”

* * *

  
“This is the most domestic thing I think I’ve ever done.” Changkyun said as he watched Kihyun compare the prices of two brands of ice cream at the grocery store.

“Is there something wrong with domestic?” Kihyun jokingly challenged. Instead of taking the challenge, Changkyun just smiled softly and shook his head.

“Of course not,” he said, his voice warm enough to melt butter. “It’s perfect.”

“Ah, you’re going to make me soft.” Kihyun chuckled as he put the less expensive container into the cart. Though it was only a dollar difference, he wasn’t about to get the good stuff for a game night that would most likely end with food all over the floor.

“Hyung, can we get-?” Changkyun was cut off when someone grabbed his arm roughly. His words got caught in his throat as he tried to yank his arm away, but the person was too strong. When Changkyun finally looked at who it was, he felt his heart stop.

He recognized the man. He was a regular at the club, but hadn’t been around since he touched Changkyun while he was dancing and Jooheon had to throw him out. The man was tall, broad and looked like he wouldn’t hesitate to beat anyone who upset him.

“IM,” The man said, calling him by his stage name. Changkyun felt filthy. “You look so much sweeter off stage.”

“Please let go.” Changkyun tried to keep his voice strong but failed.

“You’re so, so pretty,” The man pulled him closer and Changkyun could smell his breath. Kyun gagged and felt tears sting his eyes. “Such a beautiful baby boy.”

“Let him go before I call security,” Kihyun said, trying to pry the man’s hands off Changkyun’s arms. The man fought for a moment before looking Kihyun dead in the face. The man’s eyes lit up in recognition but Kihyun knew he had never seen the man before. He dropped Changkyun’s arms and basically ran from the store, disappearing from sight within seconds. “Changkyun? Baby are you alright?” He asked, watching the boy in front of him break down.

“H-hyung-” Changkyun couldn’t breathe. It was as if the horrid florescent lights were dimming around him and there was a roaring in his ears that made it impossible to concentrate on the words Kihyun were murmuring to him.

“Changkyun, please. Listen to hyung’s words, okay? You’re going to be alright. He left. He’s gone. I’m not going to let him hurt you okay?” Kihyun gathered Changkyun in his arms, not caring if the other shoppers in the store were looking at them with variations of concern and curiosity. He kept whispering to the boy until his tremors finally stopped.

“Why did this happen?” Changkyun whispered, sounding so broken Kihyun wanted to sob.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Kihyun knew what was running through the boy’s mind, and he also knew he needed to put a stop to it as soon as possible before things spiraled out of control again. “You didn’t deserve that Changkyun. You don’t deserve to be touched like that by strangers.”

“Can we go? I don’t want to be here anymore.” Changkyun asked, sounding younger than Kihyun had ever heard him sound.

“Of course Kyunnie. Let’s go check out and we can go meet Hyunwoo and Hoseok, alright?”

“Okay…” Changkyun looked like a shadow of the boy who had just been smiling minutes ago. He clung to Kihyun’s jacket as they made their way to the front, not letting go even after they had paid and made their way from the store. Kyun looked at his shoes and felt tears run down his cheeks. Kihyun noticed and instantly put the bags down to cradle Changkyun’s face.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He asked, trying to read the other boy’s eyes for some explanation to why he was suddenly crying.

“I scuffed my shoes trying to get away from that guy,” He sniffled, sounding miserable. Kihyun glanced down and saw a black mark standing out dark against the brand new white rubber. “I ruined your present already…”

“You didn’t ruin anything, do you hear me? Scuffs happen. We can fix it when we get to Hyunwoo’s. I’m sure they can clean it.”

“I’m sorry I ruined your present.” More silent tears ran down his face as his hands began to tremble. Part of him acknowledged that the reason he was overacting to the shoes was because of the adrenaline finally getting to him from the previous encounter, but he still couldn’t help but be embarrassed by his weakness.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Kihyun nuzzled his nose against Changkyun’s cheek and the younger boy seemed to relax a little at the contact. “I’m going to grab a taxi and we’re going to be okay, okay? Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” Changkyun didn’t hesitate. He trusted Kihyun more than he thought he ever could. Kihyun smiled and pulled back, but not enough that their hands would separate.

He waved down a cab and gave the driver an address that was about fifteen minutes away - in a more residential area, Kihyun explained on the way.

Changkyun finally checked his phone and saw a whole missed conversation in the group chat. Skimming the messages, he saw all three of his roommates would be joining them as soon as Kyun sent them the address. He quickly punched in the location and put his phone down again. With their bags at their feet, Changkyun didn’t feel so weird about leaning into Kihyun’s side. Kihyun didn’t even hesitate before pulling Kyun closer and wrapping his arm around the younger’s shoulders.

They rode in silence, the faint sound of the taxi radio the only sound in the car. Changkyun focused on the sound of Kihyun’s heartbeat, and how strong it sounded. It calmed him, Changkyun realized. Then, and the night he slept over. The sound of the older boy’s heartbeat was enough to calm the storm raging in his mind.

The cab pulled up to a fairly normal looking two story house in a quaint neighborhood. Changkyun had been expecting an apartment, considering his own living arrangement, so seeing an actual house came to a bit of a surprise. As soon as the taxi pulled up, the front door opened and the man that walked out to greet them really took Changkyun by surprise.

He was tall, almost as tall as Hyungwon, but almost twice the other boy’s mass. He looked like he could easily lift Changkyun, which was a little intimidating. However, the man’s smile reminded Changkyun of a giant puppy, which quickly counteracted any intimidation Changkyun felt. The man opened the door for Kihyun, who instantly handed him some bags.

“And here we were betting on if you were lying,” The man said with a warm smile. “Looks like Hoseok owes me ten bucks.”

“I’m going to smack him,” Kihyun huffed as he gathered the rest of the bags. Changkyun tried to take some, but Kihyun refused to let him carry anything. “Does he really have so little faith in me?”

“I mean, your track record isn’t exactly reassuring.” The man said with a laugh. Kihyun made a sour face before turning to Changkyun.

“Kyunnie, this is Hyunwoo hyung,” he said, nodding his head towards the man. “Hoseok hyung is inside, so you’ll meet him in a second.”

The moment they entered the house there was a loud call from the upstairs.

“DID I WIN THE BET?” The voice called happily. “WAS KYHUNNIE LYING ABOUT THE BOY?”

“Hoseok, why don’t you come down yourself and see?” Hyunwoo said with a smirk. Changkyun flushed when he realized the bet was about him. Loud footsteps came racing down the stairs and Changkyun saw a second intimidatingly muscular man slide down the wood of the step. He was shorter than Hyunwoo but probably weighted the same, but his smile was so wide and soft that Changkyun found it hard to believe he was Kihyun’s hyung.

“Kihyun! I-” He saw Changkyun and his face instantly twisted in confusion before breaking back out into a wide grin. “Guess our Kihyunnie wasn’t lying! It’s nice to meet you.

I’m Hoseok.” He stuck his hand out for Changkyun to shake and the boy took it with a smirk.

“Changkyun,” he shook Hoseok’s hand, trying not to wince at how tight his grip was. “So what was this bet?” He asked, wondering why they thought Kihyun was lying.

“When Kihyunnie texted us talking about his cute neighbor we thought he was making it up so we’d stop hassling him about being single,” Hoseok said easily, as if Kihyun wasn’t standing two feet away looking like he stepped in a puddle with socks on. “So when he said you were coming to our party we made bets to see if you were real or if he was going to come up with some lame excuse as to why he came alone.”

“Well, now you know I wasn’t lying,” Kihyun bit out without much malice. “Not only did I not show up alone, there are actually more people coming soon.”

“Wait, really?” Hyunwoo looked more surprised than Changkyun thought appropriate.

“Yes, really,” Kihyun snapped, wrinkling his nose. “I happen to have friends other than the two of you.”

“We’re glad.” Hoseok said, no hint of teasing in his voice. Changkyun glanced over and was shocked at how sincere the two men looked. They genuinely looked relieved that Kihyun had friends. Changkyun felt his chest warm. He knew his friends were just as protective and worried about him, and he knew how good it felt to be cared about. He was glad Kihyun had hyungs to care for him too.

“I’m going to put this in the freezer before it melts anymore,” Kihyun said with an eye roll and a smile. “Kyunnie, you coming?”

“Of course.” Changkyun jumped at the chance to follow Kihyun from the entry hall into the kitchen. It was fairly standard, with an arrangement of various appliances. None of the chairs at the table matched, Changkyun noted with a laugh, and there was a rainbow of towels stacked on the top of the fridge and cooking utensils stored in old mason jars on the counter.

“Their kitchen really reflects their personalities.” Kihyun said as he opened the freezer and started shoving things where he could.

“Do they live together?” Changkyun asked, looking around some more.

“This was Hyunwoo’s grandfather’s house. When he passed away about two years ago, Hyunwoo had just graduated college. His grandfather apparently knew something was going to happen because he wrote Hyunwoo into his will, saying he could do whatever he wanted with the property itself, but not the stuff inside, or something like that. He decided to keep the house because the mortgage was already paid off so all he’s have to pay for is electricity and water. When he met Hoseok they decided to move in together seeing how they work together and are basically the same person.” Kihyun snorted and Changkyun felt himself staring at the other boy’s smile.

“That’s pretty convenient.” Changkyun said when he was finally able to concentrate on his words again.

“That’s what I thought.” Kihyun had pulled out two cans of soda from the fridge. “For personal trainers, they have a ton of crap in their fridge.” He said as he handed Changkyun one of the cans.

“I mean, when you’re an adult you can eat anything you want.” Changkyun thought back to his first week on his own with a grimace.

“Something tells me you learned that the hard way.”

“Let’s just say I can’t look at instant mashed potatoes without gagging.” Changkyun fought back a shiver as he recalled the great potato marathon.

“Kihyun-ah, I think your friends are here!” Hoseok called from the other room. Changkyun perked up at the mention of his roommates. He froze, however, when it occurred to him that they might mention their jobs to Hyunwoo and Hoseok. He didn’t want Kihyun’s friends to think poorly of him so early into meeting them. They were important to Kihyun, and if he wanted to be important to Kihyun as well, he needed to get along with his friends.

“We didn’t know what to bring so we stopped and got some drinks.” Hyungwon’s voice was heard from the front door, sounding polite, as the boy tended to be around strangers.

“Holy shit, did you buy out the liquor store?” Hoseok explained as several sets of feet came to the kitchen. Changkyun saw as soon as they entered that his roommates made a point to dress nicely. Jooheon was wearing his leather jackets with his bangs slightly curling in his face. Hyungwon wore tight jeans and a loose white shirt with the top undone to show his tanned collar bones. Minhyuk was in jeans as well, but with a soft pink sweater to go with the soft pink pigment that colored his eyes.

“We didn’t know what you drank, so we got a little of everything?” Minhyuk said, sounding unsure. All four of them had a bag in their arms, other than Hoseok who was carrying two. They placed the bags on the table and Changkyun could hear the bottles clink against each other.

“Changkyunnie there you are-” Minhyuk froze just as he was about to hug the younger boy. His smile dropped into a worried frown. “What happened?”

“Huh, what do you mean?” Hoseok asked, looking between the two boys. Changkyun didn’t seem any different from when he arrived, as far as Hoseok could tell.

“Your eyes are glassy and hair is messed up,” Minhyuk listed, trying to fix Changkyun’s bangs. “You were crying. What happened?”

“Nothing hyung,” Changkyun tried to move away but Minhyuk wasn’t going to let him. Changkyun took a deep breath. “One of the… customers recognized me. Grabbed my arm. I freaked out but Kihyun hyung helped me through it.” He said quietly, hoping no one else heard him. The atmosphere instantly changed in the kitchen.

“Who was it?” Jooheon asked, sounding murderous.

“Hyung, it’s fine. He left-”

“Who was it?” He asked again, his voice telling Changkyun that he wasn’t going to let the subject drop until he was given the information he wanted.

“The guy you had to throw out the other day.” Changkyun whispered, eyes darting to Hoseok, who had busied himself with taking the bottles from the bags and setting them up on the table. Changkyun could tell he wasn’t trying to listen in but the tension in his wide shoulders told the youngest that the man was worried about something.

“If he ever comes by again I swear to god I’m going to-”

“You’re not going to do anything,” Changkyun said firmly. “I was caught off guard today, but if I ever see him again I’ll be prepared. It’ll be fine.”

“Why didn’t you call one of us?” Minhyuk asked, placing a hand on Changkyun’s back.

“I was overwhelmed, then Kihyun hyung talked me through it and…” _I couldn’t think of anything but him,_ Changkyun finished the sentence in his mind. 

“Are you alright now?” Hyungwon asked carefully, watching for any hint of a lie in Changkyun’s face.

“I am, really hyung,” he said, actually being completely honest for once. “Thanks to Kihyun hyung.”

“Thank you, for taking care of Changkyun,” Minhyuk turned and bowed to Kihyun, who seemed shocked by the sudden gesture. “And I’m so sorry that this happened.”

“No, no please, don’t apologize… or thank me,” He sounded as flustered as he looked. “I’d do anything for Changkyun.”

“Anything?” Changkyun couldn’t help but ask, and he hated how vulnerable he sounded. Kihyun’s eyes met him and Changkyun could see the older boy was feeling just as vulnerable as he was. Just as Kihyun took a breath to respond, Hyunwoo came into the kitchen with a wide smile.

“Got the game all set up,” He said, unaware of what just happened. “And I heard there was an influx of alcohol? Perfect. Grab a drink and let’s go to the basement. Just be careful of your head on your way down, alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the point where things start going downhill! Hurray!  
> The next chapter is going to have some smut, so that's exciting. After that, the angst tag will be heavily used.  
> Also, people from my real life have been reading my fics which is kinda weird cuz now they know what sort of angsty bullshit I post on the internet but it's fine.  
> Side note, I've officially been accepted to my college of course! My mom accidentally opened my acceptance letter thining it was just paperwork but it's still exciting! I even have a house i can rent close to campus for half the price of housing. Is this what it feels like to be an adult?
> 
>  
> 
> I'm always open for constructive criticisms! I actually really want you guys to comment and tell me what I can improve on. I want to get better as an author, and I can't do that if I keep doing the same thing over and over again.


	5. Stay Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't believe this is technically my first attempt at actual smut. For someone who reads it easily enough, I had some trouble writing it lmao  
> Remember when I said the angst tag was going to be used? Yeah, well, this is just the beginning.

As a writer, Kihyun was known for weaving worlds with his words. He was paid to create new stories and to take readers to a new universe. He was quite proud of his skills, even if he had been in a bit of a rut recently. Despite all his success in his field, Yoon Kihyun was speechless.

He watched Changkyun laugh loudly at something that happened in the game, the boy’s cheeks flushed from the combination of shots and wine coolers. His eyes were watering from laughing so hard, his eyes turning up and his bangs falling in his face. Looking at Changkyun, Kihyun felt as though he could write an entire book just describing how the pink in his cheeks rivaled a rose, how the curve of his lips could hypnotize a man, how is laugh was deep and heartwarming. At the same time, Kihyun felt like words alone could never describe Changkyun properly, no matter how many times he tried to find the proper sentences.

“Hyung, quick vote before the timer runs out!” Changkyun’s voice broke Kihyun from his thoughts. Kihyun glanced at his phone and saw he only had ten seconds to choose an option. Hyunwoo had found a game that he remembered playing in high school when the teachers didn’t feel like teaching. The prompt on the screen was ‘the secret to a lasting marriage’ and the two options were ‘divorce’ and ‘be gay’. With a snort, Kihyun picked the obvious answer.

As suspected, ‘be gay’ won by a landslide, but everyone got a kick out of ‘divorce’. They had been playing for about an hour, and Kihyun had to admit that it was one of the best game nights he had ever been to. He wasn’t even that tipsy, but it felt like he was flying on a cloud whenever he glanced over at Changkyun, who was slowly inching closer and closer.

By the end of the round, Changkyun was basically sitting on Kihyun’s lap, and the older boy was glad his alcohol induced flush was hiding the crush induced blush threatening to expose him. Changkyun rested his head on Kihyun’s shoulder and he thought his own head was going to explode. Kihyun couldn’t remember the last time he was so overwhelmed by another person.

Maybe it was the alcohol, he thought briefly. Or maybe it was the way Changkyun seemed to genuine in everything he did. Maybe it was the way Changkyun’s eyes lit up with excitement at the smallest things or how his dream was to make a difference in the world or how Kihyun felt truly safe and comfortable around the boy, like coming home for the first time in a long while.

“So you three dance together?” Hyungwon’s voice managed to break Kihyun from his thoughts. He tuned in to the tail end of the conversation and wished he hadn’t.

“Yeah! We teach together down at the rec center.” Hyunwoo said, his voice not slurring at all due to the fact he had an alcohol tolerance of a rhino.

“Wanna see?” Hoseok said, slurring a little. He had the same tolerance, but he also had several shots in the kitchen before bringing more down with him.

“Um, yes?” Changkyun said, bouncing excitedly on the couch. He reminded Kihyun of a puppy sometimes, and it made the older boy’s chest clench.

“I’m too drunk to dance.” Kihyun grumbled, not wanting to move from where he was all but wrapped up with Changkyun.

“You had like, what, two beers and some wine? You’re not drunk,” Hoseok called him out immediately. “Imma put the music on. Someone clear the floor.”  
Changkyun jumped at the chance, swaying dangerously but managing to catch himself as he helped Hyunwoo move the coffee table and chairs out from the middle of the room, leaving a decently sized space between the couch and the television.

“You ready, Kihyunnie?” Hoseok teased, watching his friend blush.

“I guess I don’t have a choice…” He said and stood slowly, knowing the room was going to spin. “Which song are we doing?”

“The one Hosh did,” Hoseok said with a shit-eating grin. Kihyun’s face paled. “You know the one.”

“Why did we let him choreograph a song?” Kihyun asked, running a hand down his face. “Maybe I’m not drunk, but you’re definitely too drunk for this dance.”

“I’m fine! Now let’s give a good show!” Hoseok grinned as he got into spot. He nodded to Hyungwon, who was holding the other boy’s phone, for him to start the music. When they made eye contact, Hyungwon’s ears turned red as he grinned.

The music filled the speakers and the three started dancing, albeit a little roughly. Hyunwoo and Kihyun bumped into each other during the beginning part, both bursting into laughter as they tried to catch up with the music. When the chorus hit, Changkyun thought he had died and gone to heaven – or maybe hell with how sinfully Kihyun was moving.

The three of them dropped to the ground and made their bodies snake, making it look like their pelvises were being forcefully thrust into the carpeting. The very next part had them slide on their knee and caress a hand up their thigh, their fingers lingering around their crotch for a moment before they stood and kept going.

Changkyun’s mouth was dry from how far his jaw had dropped. Kihyun was one thing – he was sweet and funny and caring and made Changkyun feel like his head was filled with cotton candy. Kihyun dancing, on the other hand, made Changkyun crave more than light kisses and gentle touches. He had to swallow back a choked moan when the body rolls repeated. His eyes lingered on the line of Kihyun’s back, exposed and slightly sweaty from the choreography. When the music stopped, the three collapsed to the rug and panted. Hoseok rushed to the bathroom that was in the basement, leaving the door open as he retched into the toilet. Hyungwon slipped off the edge of the couch and followed after him. The sound of gagging was overpowered by Hyunwoo laughing and the hoots coming from Minhyuk and Jooheon.

“He always does this,” Hyunwoo said when he saw Changkyun looking at the bathroom with a worried expression. “He drinks too much, then wants to show off because he’s drunk, then ends up getting sick from showing off while drunk.”

“I think Hyungwon-ah was very impressed,” Minhyuk giggled, his drunk side even louder somehow. “Boy could barely hide his hard on while you were dancing-” he was cut off when Hyungwon came flying out of the bathroom to shove the smaller boy off the couch. Minhyuk fell onto the ground, cackling loudly. Changkyun couldn’t help himself. He found himself falling off the couch with how hard he was laughing, landing right next to Minhyuk.

“Oh my god that’s that fuckin funniest thing!” Jooheon screeched, gripping his sides.

“I say it’s going to take a week before they’re fucking.” Minhyuk managed to quell his giggled for a second before laughing loudly again.

“A week?” Hyunwoo retorted with a grin. “Knowing Hoseok, I give it three days.”

“I bet twenty bucks that they bone before the end of the night!” Changkyun called, jumping up and almost immediately falling again. If it weren’t for Kihyun’s arms, Changkyun would have tasted Hyunwoo’s carpeting.

“Changkyun, if you value your dick, you’ll stop screaming,” Hyungwon came back with a less sick looking Hoseok following behind him. “We’re going to go upstairs. Hoseok hyung isn’t feeling well.” He said, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. Everyone in the room raised an eyebrow because it was obvious Hoseok was feeling much better.

“Have fun.” Jooheon called after them.

“Use protection!” Changkyun cheekily repeated Hyungwon’s own words back to him. Hyungwon flipped them off just before he went out of sight and everyone broke down into the laughter again. When Changkyun finally stopped laughing, he realized how tired he really was.

“Do you want to go home?” Kihyun asked, seeing how the younger boy began to blink slowly. Changkyun shook his head and gripped Kihyun’s shirt tightly.

“I want you…” He said softly and Kihyun thought his heart had stopped completely.

“W-what?” Kihyun’s eyes felt like they were about to pop out of his head. Changkyun looked up at him – he was standing while Changkyun was sitting on the couch – and Kihyun could see how dark his eyes looked from under his bangs. Kihyun gulped. Changkyun stood and placed his mouth very close to Kihyun’s ear.

“You’re an amazing dancer, hyung,” He said gruffly, the words making Kihyun bristle in the best way possible. “I want to be with you more. I don’t want this night to end yet.” His lips were so close to Kihyun’s neck that he could feel the other boy’s breath on his skin and his mouth was suddenly very, very dry.

“Change the sheets when you’re done.” Hyunwoo said simply as he started to put a movie on. Kihyun blinked at him wildly, not understanding what he meant at first, then blushing bright red when he remembered the spare room upstairs. He was thankful Hyunwoo was so understanding, or maybe he was just rooting for Kihyun to get laid. Either way, he nodded once and took Changkyun’s hand before leading him up the stairs.

“What are we watching?” Minhyuk asked, sounding way too normal for just witnessing two thirds of his best friends leave to ‘get dicked down’ as he loved to say.

“I was thinking a comedy,” Hyunwoo said softly, his teddy bear personality coming back out now that the drinking and partying was coming to a close. “And we can probably sleep down here if you don’t want to go home tonight.”

“Sounds good.” Jooheon said with a yawn. Changkyun didn’t hear anything else because Kihyun had pulled him from the basement and towards the steps that lead to the upstairs. They passed one room with an open door and the lights off. The second door they passed was closed and Changkyun could hear movement and light moans coming from behind it. He flushed when his drunk mind put two and two together. Kihyun pulled him into the spare room at the end of the hall and closed the door behind him.

“Are you okay with this?” Kihyun asked as he stood nose to nose with Changkyun. The boy’s eyes were glassy with want and Kihyun felt himself losing control. He maybe helped himself to some of Hoseok’s shots, so he was a lot drunker than he was being teased about.

“Kiss me?” Changkyun asked, his voice growling. Kihyun felt something snap in him as he swooped forward and captured Changkyun’s lips with his own. He let his tongue wet the other boy’s mouth and Changkyun eager opened his lips to let Kihyun in. Kihyun’s arms wrapped around Changkyun, one arm going around his waist and the other threading through the younger boy’s hair. Changkyun gasped into Kihyun’s mouth when he felt his hair being tugged on.

“Lay on the bed,” Kihyun said, his body aching. Changkyun eagerly did what he said, sitting in the middle of the bed with his legs slightly open. Kihyun wanted to jump on his so badly, but he still retained part of his common sense. “I want you to think of a safe word, okay?”

“Isn’t that for… dangerous stuff? Is that what we’re going to do?” Changkyun murmured, the words slipping out from red lips.

“It’s good to have one for anything,” Kihyun said gently, placing kisses along Changkyun’s jaw as he leaned over the other boy. “I want you to be comfortable no matter what, and having a safe word lets you stop easily.”

“Um, sushi?” Changkyun asked, his arousal and state of drunkenness making it hard to think. Kihyun nodded and kissed him deeply.

“If you want to stop at any time, say that and I’ll stop, okay?” He said into Changkyun’s mouth. The younger boy just nodded and gasped as he felt Kihyun bite his neck gently.

“Harder,” he breathed out, wanting to feel Kihyun’s teeth on his skin. Kihyun shuddered at the command and bit harder, licking the skin between his teeth and savoring the way Changkyun moaned. He sucked the spot on his neck, making sure to leave a mark for the morning. “Hyung, take off your clothes.”

Kihyun eagerly stripped, watching in awe as Changkyun did the same. It was the first time either of them had seen the other naked, and Changkyun needed a moment just to appreciate how handsome Kihyun was. His body wasn’t super muscular, like Hoseok or Hyunwoo, but there were definitely muscles running along his lithe body, and the sight made Changkyun’s skin prickle.

Kihyun as having the same situation. He was staring at Changkyun as if was the first time he had seen the sun. Changkyun’s stomach was a little soft and Kihyun let his fingers gently touch the velvety skin there. Changkyun sucked in a breath at the contact but didn’t seem to want Kihyun to stop. His thighs were muscular and Kihyun had the primal urge to mark them up. He wanted to mark Changkyun’s entire body.

Kihyun waited until they were both down to their boxers before pinning Changkyun under him and kissing him passionately. Changkyun’s skin felt like it was on fire anywhere Kihyun’s body brushed his. Kihyun’s lips on his made him groan into the kiss and Kihyun bucked his hips forward a little. Both boys groaned loudly at the sudden friction and Changkyun surged upwards to deepen the kiss.

“Hyung,” Changkyun moaned into Kihyun’s mouth again and any coherent though in Kihyun’s mind disappeared. “Hyung stop holding back. Touch me, please.” Changkyun whined, trying to move his hips as encouragement. Kihyun felt his brain short circuit. He snaked his one hand between their bodies and trailed it down Changkyun’s chest, who mewled as his fingers touched his sensitive skin. When Kihyun’s hand ghosted over Changkyun’s boxers, the boy whined for him to stop teasing.

Kihyun let his fingers trail along the bulge in Changkyun’s boxers, marveling at how hard the boy already was. It took him a few seconds to work up the courage to slip his hand inside the fabric and Changkyun choked when Kihyun’s hand gripped him without the layer of material between them.

“Ah, hyung…” he panted, his eyes scrunching shut. Kihyun pulled Changkyun’s boxers off the rest of the way, leaving him completely naked below him. Kihyun couldn’t hold back a gasp, which caught Changkyun’s attention. Kyun opened his eyes to look at Kihyun questioningly.

“You’re so beautiful,” Kihyun murmured as he kissed along Kyun’s torso. Changkyun arched into the light touch. “God, you’re so perfect. You’re amazing Changkyunnie.”  
Changkyun keened at the praise, his cock hardening in Kihyun’s hand even more. Kihyun brought their lips together again as he began to gently thumb the slit of Changkyun’s tip. Changkyun jolted and moaned shamelessly, wanting Kihyun to touch him more.

“Kihyun,” He whimpered, his voice hoarse with longing. “I want to touch you too. Please?” Kihyun had never stripped completely so quickly before in his life. Within a second, he was leaning back over Changkyun, who was staring at his manhood with wide eyes. Kihyun watched Changkyun lick his bottom lip and swallow before deciding the teasing was too much. He took Changkyun’s hand and brought the other boy’s fingers up to his cock, letting Changkyun wrap his fingers around him. Kihyun shuddered, his breath catching in his throat.

“F-fuck…” He groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. Changkyun started to gently move and Kihyun thought his knees were going to give out.

“Hyung, let me blow you.” Changkyun’s words took a second to process in Kihyun’s head, and even when they did he still barely understood.

“What?” He questioned breathily. Changkyun grinned at him, loving how undone the other boy was becoming. He smirked at Kihyun and the face went straight to the older boy’s dick.

“Let me blow you,” Changkyun repeated, sounding the words out in the most erotic way possible. “Please, hyung? I want to taste you.”

Every wire in Kihyun’s brain seemed to explode at once. Changkyun slipped out from under him and kneeled on the carpet next to the bed, mouth open and waiting. Kihyun gulped.

Changkyun smiled up at Kihyun, who looked like his head was about to burst. He took Kihyun’s length in his hand and grinned more when he felt the older boy shudder under his touch. He gently took the tip into his mouth, licking every inch of skin generously with his slick tongue. Kihyun threw his head back as he threaded his fingers through his hair again, tugging gently. Changkyun took a little more into his mouth, repeating the same teasing. Just as Kihyun was about to beg for more, Changkyun took his entire cock into his mouth at once.

Kihyun cried out and doubled over, his forehead resting on the top of Changkyun’s head as the younger boy began to bob his head up and down. Kihyun’s vision was wavering and he really thought his knees were going to give out. When Changkyun began to hum with his cock deep in his throat, Kihyun had to pull the boy off.

“Did I do something wrong?” Changkyun asked, sounding small.

“The opposite,” Kihyun grieved the loss of the wet warmth around him. “I was going to cum if you kept going.”

“You should have,” Changkyun’s eyes were dark and his skin flushed. “I would have swallowed for you hyung.”

“Fuck…” Kihyun could have cum just from how sinfully beautiful Changkyun looked, naked and on his knees, with spit and precum making his lips glisten. “Get back on the bed baby. Hyung wants to have more fun.”

Changkyun scrambled back onto the comfort of the blankets and tried to stop his thighs from trembling with excitement. Kihyun moved to dig through the side drawer, knowing Hoseok’s plan to get him laid. His friend had stocked the guest room – dubbed Kihyun’s room – for any situation imaginable. Part of him wanted to be annoyed but at that moment he had never been more grateful for his friends interfering with his love life.

“Do you want hyung inside of you, Kyunnie?” Kihyun said huskily, feeling his chest clench at how Changkyun squirmed at the words.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I want hyung inside of me.” Changkyun said louder, his frustration coming out.

“You’re so beautiful,” Kihyun said as he slicked up a finger and gently began stretching Changkyun, who was writhing in pleasure and frustration. He hadn’t properly slept with anyone in ages – the times Jackson sold his body didn’t count because there was no affection, no care or soft touches - and Kihyun’s caress made everything feel ten times more intense. He whimpered at the praise as Kihyun went deeper inside of him. “You take my fingers so well. You’re so good for hyung.”

“More.” Changkyun rutted his hips against Kihyun’s hand. Kihyun was kind enough to start working a second finger into Changkyun. He was moving around inside the younger boy, looking for the spot that would make him see white. After a moment, he found it. Changkyun arched his back off the bed and moaned his name loudly. Changkyun panted, begging for him to do it again as if he was about to die if he didn’t.

“You’re such a good boy, Changkyunnie.” Kihyun growled, moving to put a third finger into Changkyun.

Changkyun’s mind stopped. _You’re such a good boy, aren’t you Changkyunnie? A good boy for Appa._ A phantom voice echoed through his head and Changkyun felt sick to his stomach. He felt Kihyun moving inside of him, but it was no longer Kihyun. It was a faceless man who was sticking his fingers deep in Changkyun, opening him up too quickly, without the proper preparation, not caring when there was blood. Changkyun whimpered, out of fear this time, but Kihyun didn’t seem to notice a difference. Changkyun tried to remember his safe word, but all he could think of was being touched by people he didn’t want to touch him, being used like a cheap whore to pay back a debt that never seemed to get any smaller no matter how much he worked. He whimpered again, tears escaping down his cheek. Finally the word came back to him and his eyes flew open.

“SUSHI!” He cried as loudly as possible. “S-sushi!” Kihyun instantly stopped, pulling his fingers from Changkyun and pulling the boy close.

“Are you okay?” He asked, panic bleeding through his lust. “Did I hurt you?” Changkyun shook his head, crying pitifully against Kihyun’s bare chest.

“I can’t… I keep thinking about…” Changkyun couldn’t take a deep breath and he was started to freak out. “They keep touching me and I never wanted this-”

“Hey, look at me,” Kihyun desperately tried to break Changkyun from his thoughts, but he could see he was losing the younger boy to his own mind. He grabbed Changkyun’s cheeks and forced him to look him in the eye. His heart broke when he saw how scared Changkyun looked. Through the boy’s broken rambling, Kihyun was able to piece together what was scaring him. He saw red for a moment when he made the connection. He turned his attention back to Changkyun, who was shaking. “You’re here, with me, alright? No one is going to hurt you. No one is going to force you to anything, understand? You’re safe Kyunnie. You’re safe.”

“Hyung, what’s wrong with me?” Changkyun whimpered and Kihyun’s seemed to shatter even more. He gathered Changkyun into his arms, letting the younger boy bury his face in his chest.

“Nothing,” He said, holding him even tighter – as if Changkyun was going to disappear. “There is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong here is how you were treated. You never deserved to go through that.”

“I’m broken,” Changkyun said pitifully. “No one could ever love me like this.”

“That’s a lie.” Kihyun instantly said, buying his nose in Changkyun’s hair. It smelt like shampoo and spices and Changkyun, and Kihyun felt at home despite the situation.

“I’m unlovable,” Changkyun whispered, almost more to himself than to Kihyun. “I’m just a whore… a used toy…”

“I love you,” Kihyun said quietly. Changkyun tensed in his arms. “You aren’t used Kyunnie. You aren’t a toy, and you definitely aren’t broken, do you hear me? You’re a little scuffed up right now but you’re going to be okay. I promise you, everything is going to be okay.”

“You love me?” Changkyun choked on his words, his whole body trembling.

“I do,” Kihyun confessed easily. “I love your smile and how you seem to always be excited about the silliest things. I love how strong you are and how much you care about your friends. I love your hugs and how just being around you makes my day better. I love you, Changkyun. Don’t ever doubt that, please.”

Changkyun didn’t reply. He just started to bawl onto Kihyun’s bare chest, the sobs making his whole body shake. Kihyun did his best to comfort the boy, running his fingers though his hair and whispering compliments and promises for a better future. Changkyun only stopped crying when he fell asleep again Kihyun’s chest. Kihyun gently redressed him as much as he could without disturbing him, which was mostly just slipping his boxers back on and tucking him in under the thick blanket.

Kihyun threw on his own boxers and shirt before crawling into bed next to Changkyun. He wasn’t expecting the younger to confess back. Hell, he hadn’t been planning on confessing yet in the first place. Just being able to lay next to Changkyun and feel the younger boy curl up against his side was more than enough for Kihyun.

* * *

  
Neither Kihyun nor Changkyun mentioned what happened the next morning when everyone finally managed to drag themselves to the kitchen. Kihyun knew Hoseok and Hyungwon had heard something – the rooms were too close together for them not to have – but neither of them showed any hint that they did. In fact, they didn’t show any hint that anything happened the night before, despite the marks covering both of their bodies that told a different story.

“Looks like we owe Changkyun twenty bucks.” Jooheon said, shooting Hyungwon and his multitude of hickies an amused look over the rim of his coffee mug.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Hyungwon said, avoiding Jooheon’s eyes. He absentmindedly brought his hand up to cover some of the marks, which drew a snicker from Minhyuk and Jooheon, who were sharing a knowing look.

“You want some breakfast?” Hoseok asked as he wrapped his arms around Hyungwon’s waist from behind. They looked so natural and comfortable standing together that it took a second for anyone to realize that they were basically sitting on each other.

“Yes please.” Hyungwon pointedly avoided looking at anyone else and Jooheon wolf whistled as Hoseok kissed the taller boy’s cheek before going to the fridge.

“And what about you two?” Minhyuk turned his attention to Changkyun and Kihyun, who were sitting silently at the kitchen table, their fingers intertwined by their sides.

“What about us?” Kihyun asked, almost sounding bored.

“Did you-?”

“Hyung I swear to god if you say the thing-” Changkyun tried to warn Minhyuk, who ignored him.

“Did you get dicked down last night?” He finished, wiggling his eyebrows. Kihyun flushed as Changkyun groaned and threw one of the bananas that was in the bowl on the table right at Minhyuk’s face.

“Just eat it you son of a bitch.” He growled with only a little malice.

“Hey, no need for that kind of language,” Minhyuk caught the banana and peeled it before taking a suggestive bite. “I’m just trying to look out for our precious baby maknae.”

“I’m fine hyung.” Changkyun said, sounding anything other than fine. Minhyuk instantly dropped his smile and turned to fully face the younger boy.

“Changkyun-” he said seriously.

“Later hyung,” Changkyun cut him off. “I promise.”

“Alright…” Minhyuk agreed reluctantly, sinking back into his chair and eating the rest of his breakfast in silence.

Jooheon came back into the kitchen and Changkyun realized he hadn’t seen the other boy leave in the first place. He was holding his phone and had a strange expression on his face. He turned to Changkyun, and the younger boy felt his stomach drop.

“Kyunnie, I just talked to Jackson-ssi,” He started carefully. He saw how Changkyun paled and tried to quickly explain himself. “It’s nothing bad, I swear. I knew you had finals coming up and I mentioned to Jackson-ssi that maybe you could have the next few days off to study. He called to say that you could have them if you wanted.”

“But?” Changkyun knew there was a catch, and when Jooheon bit his bottom lip he knew he was right. Jooheon only bit his lip when he was nervous or worried about something.

“You can have the days off as long as someone fills in for you… and I offered.” He said, sounding almost hesitant.

“Absolutely not,” Changkyun responded instantly. “Call him back right now and tell him I’m not taking off.”

“Changkyun, you need to do well on your finals.” Jooheon argued.

“I can study fine. I’m not going to let you do this.”

“Well, I’m not going to let you make yourself sick by overworking yourself again. I’m covering for you, and that’s it. You don’t have a say.” Jooheon raised his voice a little, and it startled Changkyun enough to make the younger boy sit back down.

“Where do you guys work that’s so serious?” Hoseok asked, trying to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect and the tension in the kitchen seemed to double. Hoseok noticed and mumbled a ‘never mind’ under his breath before turning back to the stove. The unlikely friend group ate breakfast in silence, the only real conversation happening between Hoseok and Hyungwon.

“We should be getting back,” Minhyuk said after he helped clear the paper plates. “Thank you for letting us come over and spend the night. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”

“Absolutely,” Hyunwoo smiled brightly as they made their way to the hall. “It was nice having Kihyun and his friends over. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him so happy.”

“Well, that’s not really us,” Hyungwon ignored Kihyun’s quiet ‘excuse me?’ – aimed at Hyunwoo - from the kitchen. “I think it’s mostly Changkyun. We’re just along for the fun.”

“Still, I’m really glad we met,” Hyunwoo walked them to the front door. “You’ll have to come to the rec center with us one time. I think you’d really like the guys we dance with.”

“Absolutely! When is it?” Minhyuk jumped at the opportunity. Changkyun couldn’t tell if he was excited for the dancing, something Minhyuk was known to love, or the fact that they would be meeting more boys who danced, something Minhyuk was known to love as well.

“We normally meet on Sundays around three. Kihyun can send you the address.”

“Thank you again Hyunwoo hyung and Hoseok hyung.” The four boys bowed slightly to the two hosts, who looked amused at their sudden politeness.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Hoseok asked Hyungwon with a fond smile, which Hyungwon returned with a shy smile of his own and a nod.  
Kihyun walked out with them and stood next to Changkyun as they waited for a taxi to take them home. He held the younger boy’s hand and pulled him to the side.

“Changkyun, how are you feeling?” He asked, finally saying what needed to be said as soon as Changkyun woke up.

“Better,” He said truthfully. “I think I was just overwhelmed and scared… maybe next time we try something we shouldn’t be drunk.” He chuckled a little and Kihyun blushed.

“Next time?”

“I mean, yeah… unless you don’t want to?” Changkyun suddenly sounded unsure. “I just thought after what you said last night that you’d want to… Sorry if I assumed…”

“No- no I do. I do want to, if you’re comfortable with it,” Kihyun stumbled over his words. “And… I meant what I said. I do love you Changkyun.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.” Changkyun whispered before kissing Kihyun. Their lips were gentle against each other, and it felt so right to have the careful pressure from the other boy. Kihyun took Changkyun’s hands in his own as he placed several short kisses to his lips and nose, causing Changkyun to giggle but he didn’t pull away.

“I’m going to stay and help Dumb and Dumber clean up before heading back, alright? I’ll text you when I’m on my way. If you have time, we can hang out in my apartment for a little bit? You aren’t working this week right? If you’d like, I could help you study.”

“That sounds amazing hyung, thank you,” Changkyun smiled at Kihyun, and Kihyun thought he could never look at a waterfall or sunset again. At that moment, any natural wonder was subpar to the warmth and beauty found in Changkyun’s smile. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Kihyun’s heart melted a little as he placed a goodbye kiss on Changkyun’s mouth. Just as Changkyun was about to pout for another, the taxi pulled up.  
The four roommates piled into the car, Hyungwon getting the front seat because his legs were too long to squeeze in the back, and Changkyun inbetween Jooheon and Minhyuk. As soon as the taxi pulled away from the house, both Minhyuk and Jooheon turned to Changkyun with shit eating grins on their faces.

“So…” Minhyuk started, his grin widening.

“How big was he?” Jooheon finished, looking just as smug. It was going to be a long ride home.

* * *

  
_“I’ll catch the elevator!”_ Changkyun texted Kihyun. The older boy said he was already on his way up, which meant there was a possibility of ending up in the same car. Unfortunately, when the metal doors slid open the car was empty, which meant Kihyun was already on his floor.

When the elevator opened, Changkyun was bouncing to see Kihyun again even if it had only been about two hours since they last saw each other. He saw the very boy he was dying to be next to standing in his doorway but not going in.

“Hyung!” He called, jogging down the hallway.

“Changkyun, stay away.” Kihyun said, not looking at him. He sounded terrified, and Changkyun froze where he was.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, a feeling of dread filling his stomach.

“Changkyun listen to me,” he said, his voice shaking. “Go-go down to the lobby and get the landlord to call the police, okay?”

“The police? What happened?”

“Please, just get someone.” Kihyun didn’t mean to yell. Changkyun was torn. He knew he should do what Kihyun told him to do, but seeing the older boy so shaken was making Changkyun afraid. His feet started moving before he realized what he was doing and he pulled Kihyun into his arms.

Kihyun instantly curled into his touch, buying his face in Changkyun’s neck. The position gave Changkyun the chance to look over Kihyun’s back to see what had him so afraid. Changkyun felt all the breath leave his body.

Kihyun’s apartment was trashed – everything he own shredded and thrown around the living room like some sick confetti - and writing on the couch in what looked like black sharpie. Changkyun felt like throwing up when he read what the message said.

_IM IS MINE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally listened to I Need Somebody by Day6 the entire time while writing and editing this. I love how nostalgic their sound is and I love being EMOTIONAL I fuckin love Day6 and their dumb emo music.  
> But yeah shit it about to hit the fan. I hope y'all are ready for this. And yes, they danced to Who by Seventeen. Guess whose on their dance team!   
> Also, thank you everyone for the congratulations and encouragement about the college thing! I always think no one actually reads these ANs so I was shocked to see so much support! You're gonna make me cry :D


	6. Calm before the Storm

“Everything…” Kihyun whispered in shock. The police had left almost two hours ago, and the writer was still shaking. “Everything was destroyed.”

“Whoever it was didn’t touch anything in your room.” Hyungwon said, hoping to comfort the other boy.

“Who cares about the stuff in my room?” Kihyun’s voice was bordering on hysterical. “All my manuscripts… the novels I never published. All my first editions… everything I’ve worked on so far. Gone. Half of those manuscripts were hand written… oh god it’s all gone.”

Changkyun could sense the flood coming on before Kihyun even finished talking and pulled the older boy into his arms. As soon as Kihyun was tucked under Changkyun’s chin he started to sob painfully. He knew Kihyun’s books meant a lot to him – he had spent an hour showing Changkyun each one with eyes sparkling brighter than the stars – so losing them must have been like having an arm cut off.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure something out, together.” Changkyun whispered to Kihyun. The older boy just sobbed harder at his comforting words.

“Changkyun, can you go with him to pack some bags?” Minhyuk said carefully. Changkyun nodded and stood but Kihyun hesitated.

“P-pack my bags?” He sniffled, his eyes almost swollen shut from crying so hard. Minhyuk swallowed back his own tears.

“It’s not safe for you to stay in your apartment right now,” He said softly. Kihyun’s eyes widened in fear at the realization. He didn’t even think of that – he was too torn up over his manuscripts. “The most logical thing for you to do is stay here for a few days until the police come up with something.”

“But…” Kihyun felt lost. Everything had turned itself upside down. Changkyun hadn’t left his side for even a second, and Kihyun could never express just how grateful he was to have the other boy holding his hand.

“You can stay with me hyung,” Changkyun nuzzled his nose against Kihyun’s cheek gently. “I know my room is a little small but we can both fit on my bed, and I can clear space in my closet for you. It’ll be okay.”

“You’re already asking me to move in?” Kihyun laughed shakily, wiping his face with his free hand. Changkyun grinned - Kihyun making jokes a good sign.

“I’d do anything for you.” Changkyun smiled but there was no joking in his voice, just sincere warmth. Kihyun’s eyes widened at the backhanded confession and his throat stung with even more tears.

“I love you…” Kihyun said so quietly he wasn’t sure Changkyun could hear him. Changkyun pulled him in tighter and held him as if the older boy was going to disappear.

“Anything,” He repeated himself, feeling Kihyun smile against his neck. “Come on, let’s go get some stuff packed, okay?”

Kihyun nodded and the two boys made their way out of the apartment. Changkyun had to take his hand from Kihyun’s for a moment to respond to a text and Kihyun instantly felt colder. He could feel his breathing start to pick up, but when warm fingers slipped back into his, the panic subsided.

It scared Kihyun, how much he came to need Changkyun in such a short period of time. He always thought he was comfortable – maybe even happy – on his own. Now, he couldn’t even go three feet without having the younger boy next to him. They made it back to his apartment in silence, his hands shaking more and more as they approached the door.

Once the police left, Changkyun and the others had tried their best to clean everything up and salvage what they could. The marker wouldn’t come out of the couch, and Minhyuk covered it with a blanket so Kihyun could sit without feeling sick. Entering the living room now, it was almost as if nothing had happened. The only evidence was the blanket still draped over the back of the couch and the emptiness of the bookshelves.

Kihyun numbly handed Changkyun things from around the bedroom, and the younger boy carefully packed everything into a large duffle he found in the bottom of the closet. By the time they finished packing, Kihyun had managed to calm down a bit.

“You wanna order out?” Changkyun offered. None of them had eaten since the breakfast Hoseok had made that morning, and he knew Kihyun wasn’t going to eat anything on his own. Not in the state he was in. “We can get anything you want.”

“Not hungry.” Kihyun mumbled, grabbing the duffle in one hand and Changkyun’s hand in his other.

“We’ll figure something out in a little bit.” Changkyun let Kihyun lead him from the apartment and back down the two floors. He wasn’t going to let Kihyun starve, but he wasn’t going to force him to eat when he didn’t want to. When they got back, the living room had been pushed aside and a large nest of blankets and pillows was set up.

“Welcome home you two,” Minhyuk said with a warm smile. He had two mugs in his hands, filled with steaming drink. “We set up a sleepover. I figured it would be best to be together, at least for tonight.” When Kihyun plopped the duffle onto the scuffed wooden floors, Minhyuk handed him a mug and the older boy smiled as he took a small sip of the hot chocolate.

“Don’t you guys work tonight?” Changkyun took his own mug with a confused look.

“I called Jackson and explained everything. He gave all of us the night off.”

“He’s being… oddly understanding recently.” Changkyun couldn’t stop the bitterness from seeping into his tone.

“We ordered pizza,” Jooheon didn’t comment on his friend’s words, but felt his stomach clench. He knew something was going on between Changkyun and Jackson, and it pained him to be in the dark about it all. “I figured none of us would want to cook tonight.”

“Here, let’s take your bag into my room.” Changkyun tugged on Kihyun’s sleeve. The younger boy was a little worried to see how easily he was able to drag Kihyun around, as if the writer was a lifeless doll. They pushed the door open and placed the duffle on the unmade bed.

Kihyun realized it was the first time he had been inside the other boy’s room. It was a little messy, with cloths and random school supplies scattered around but otherwise it was rather plain. He had expected posters on the wall or something, but the only decorations he had was a corkboard with little notes pinned to it. Looking closely, Kihyun saw they were encouragements written by Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Jooheon. He felt his heart swell knowing his Changkyun had such supportive people in his life.

“Hyung?” Changkyun asked quietly. Kihyun realized Changkyun had been talking to him, but he hadn’t heard anything.

“Huh?” he turned to look at the younger boy, whose eyebrows were scrunched in concern.

“I asked what you were thinking about.” He repeated himself. Kihyun smiled at the younger boy.

“You,” He answered honestly. “I’m thinking about you… and how I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“None of this would have happened without me…” Changkyun sounded close to tears and Kihyun jumped to hold him.

“What? No, no baby don’t say that.” Kihyun pulled Changkyun so they were sitting on the bed.

“It’s true though,” Changkyun blinked back tears. “It’s obvious it’s someone from the club. That’s the only place I go as IM… and if we never met then he never would have broken into your apartment and your manuscripts would be okay and…” He couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

“And I would be all alone in my apartment, just like I was every day before we met,” Kihyun finished his sentence. “Before you came into my life, I was content being alone all the time. I thought I liked how empty and quiet my apartment was… god was I wrong. It felt so large when you left after the night you slept over. I never wanted to feel that alone ever again.”

Kihyun leaned in and kissed Changkyun gently, trying to convey all his feelings in the gesture. Changkyun instantly responded to the kiss, leaning in to add more pressure and bringing his hand up to cup Kihyun’s cheek.

“You’re not alone anymore.” Changkyun said into Kihyun’s lips before surging forward again. Kihyun never thought he could lose himself so easily in another person. It was like everything stopped when Changkyun was with him, like the outside world didn’t exist when his lips were pressed against Kihyun’s. His arms wrapped around Changkyun’s waist and he felt warm all over. Changkyun’s hand moved to thread through his hair, not pulling but showing that he was holding Kihyun steady. Kihyun didn’t know when he started crying, but when they pulled apart, his cheeks were tacky and salty and he could see where the tears rubbed off onto Changkyun’s flushed face.

“Changkyunnie? You wanna run to get the pizzas with me?” Minhyuk gently knocked on the door, making the two boys jump a little.

“Um…” Changkyun looked to Kihyun, whose eyes widened at the thought of having the younger leave him.

“Hoseok hyung is on the phone for Kihyun hyung,” Minhyuk said, seeming to read their minds. “I figured he could fill him and Hyunwoo hyung in while we went out for a bit.”

“Is that alright?” Changkyun wanted to make sure Kihyun was alright before anything else happened. Kihyun nodded with a small smile.

“They’re probably freaking out,” He cleared his throat. “It’s best to get this over with.”

“We won’t be gone long,” Changkyun kissed him between his words. “The pizza place is around the corner by the club. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Stop making out in there!” Jooheon knocked loudly. “I’m hungry!”

Changkyun and Kihyun laughed at how normal the situation felt. They left Changkyun’s room and the younger boy went to slip his shoes on. Before he left, he went back over to Kihyun and kissed him one more time for good luck.

“Gross…” Hyungwon said, holding his phone to his ear. Judging from the blush on his cheeks, he and Hoseok had been talking for a little bit already.

“I’ll be right back.” Changkyun reassured Kihyun again.

“I love you.” Kihyun butted Changkyun’s cheek with his nose and the younger boy grinned.

“I already miss you.” He said with a grin. When they left, Kihyun let himself grin back. It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ in the traditional sense, but he was starting to learn the ways Changkyun was comfortable expressing his affections. Changkyun didn’t say the words themselves, but through other words like ‘I miss you’ and ‘see you soon’ and ‘please be safe’.

Kihyun really was madly in love with Changkyun.

“Kihyun? What the fuck is going on?” a phone was shoved in his face and he heard Hoseok’s frantic voice on the other end. “Wonnie texted me saying something happened and he just now decided to tell me someone broke into your apartment?”

“Ah, yeah…” Kihyun ran a hand through his bangs as he told his friend the same thing he told the police.

* * *

  
“How’s Kihyun hyung holding up?” Minhyuk asked on the elevator ride to the front doors. Changkyun’s chest thrummed at the mention of the other boy.

“Better now I think,” He said, fiddling with his shirt hem. “He was really broken up about his manuscripts, and I think we managed to salvage a little bit at least but…”

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” Minhyuk was too observant for his own good, Changkyun thought to himself before answering.

“I feel like this is my fault… I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy that grabbed me in the store. He knows me from the club… if hyung never met me, none of this would have happened. I can’t help but feel guilty about everything.”

“You have no control over what some sicko creep does. You had no idea this would happen to Kihyun hyung, and you couldn’t have stopped it even if you did,” Minhyuk sighed.

“Besides… I haven’t seen you this happy since we started working together…”

“Hyung…” Changkyun felt even worse. He knew he had been worrying his hyungs, but he never thought it was to the point that the cheerful Minhyuk would sound so… tired.

“You know, for a while now I’ve been checking in on you at night,” Minhyuk confessed, tears threatening to spill. “I’ve been… I needed to make sure you were still alive. There have been a few times where I genuinely thought… I thought I was going to lose you. I thought I was going to check on you and find you not breathing anymore… Your eyes were so dead and you just kept working harder and harder. If you hadn’t killed yourself, I was afraid you were going to work yourself to death. Then you met Kihyun hyung and everything changed. You started smiling more and acting more like a kid your age should… we were all relieved because you finally seemed alive again, not just going through the motions of being alive, but actually being alive.”

“I’m sorry I worried you so much.”

“Don’t apologize, please,” Minhyuk didn’t tell Changkyun to make the boy feel guilty. “We love you so much Changkyun. We don’t know what we would do if anything happened to you.”

“Thank you,” Changkyun choked out, smiling despite his eyes stinging. “Thank you for caring so much about me.”

“We couldn’t not care about you even if you held us at gun point.” Minhyuk laughed easily.

“Hyung, that’s a double negative.” Changkyun smirked when he realized how much he sounded like Kihyun. Minhyuk realized it too and smacked the younger boy on the shoulder.

“You’re spending too much time with Kihyunnie,” he laughed before his face dropped. Changkyun instantly felt the difference in the air and stopped walking. Minhyuk stopped next to him, looking at the ground so his bangs covered his face. “Changkyun, what happened last night? You looked… really weird this morning.”

“Was that just last night?” Changkyun said under his breath. So much happened in such a short amount of time. It was almost hard to believe that they had all been at Hyunwoo’s house just the night before.

“Did… did Kihyun hurt you?” He sounded afraid and Changkyun couldn’t help but choke out a laugh, one filled with panic and shock.

“W-what? Kihyun hyung would never- why do you think he hurt me?” He stuttered, eyes wide.

“Something looked really off and I remember how drunk you were when the two of you went off to…”

“Oh god Minhyuk hyung no, he would never hurt me,” Changkyun quickly defended Kihyun. Minhyuk seemed to deflate in relief, but still gestured for Changkyun to explain what had happened. Kyun took a deep sigh before continuing. “We were… fooling around, and I started getting flashbacks to-” He froze, his heart stopping.

“Flashbacks to…?” Minhyuk tried not to let his anxiety bleed through his words. He knew something was going on with the younger boy, but Changkyun never seemed to want to rely on anyone. That was one reason Minhyuk was so glad Kihyun came into their lives. The writer seemed to make Changkyun see reason.

“Um… fuck,” Changkyun ran a hand through his hair. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“We still have a few blocks until we get to the pizza place.”

“Shit… okay, but please… don’t be mad at me.” Changkyun sounded so afraid.

“Kyunnie, I could literally never be mad at you for anything ever.”

“You got mad at me for not replacing the toilet paper when we ran out.” Changkyun teased gently, and Minhyuk gave a weak smile.

“Yeah, well, that was inexcusable,” His joking tone vanished. “But if anything is eating at you or scaring you, you don’t have to be afraid to talk to your hyungs. About anything, and we don’t judge you or get mad or anything, I promise.”

“Alright…” Changkyun shoved his hands in his pockets to try to stop their trembling. “A month after I started working at the club, Jackson called me back. He told me to show some guy one of the vacant dressing rooms. The man tried to touch me and I freaked out, pretty sure I broke his nose and gave him some pretty bad bruises. Found out he was a wealthy client who paid Jackson to sleep with me. Jackson had to pay the guy off so he didn’t sue him or press charges. I’ve been paying him back from that since then… he takes sixty percent of the tips I make every night, and sometimes when he feels I’m not making enough in tips he,” Changkyun rubbed his face, desperately trying to stop the tears that were already running down his face. He hadn’t expected it to be so hard to talk about this. “He rents me out… to anyone who has the cash. I lost count of how many people paid to ‘spend time’ with me… and no matter how many times it happens my debt never seems to go away. When Kihyun hyung and I were… together, I started getting flashbacks to when those men would buy me and I freaked out. The second I started freaking out Kihyun stopped and calmed me down… he would never hurt me.”

“Changkyun…” Minhyuk was horrified. He was beyond horrified. His precious roommate was being sold and raped regularly, being forced to give up almost all his earnings to the same scumbag who whored him out. No wonder Changkyun called himself that… Minhyuk wasn’t mad. He was seeing red. Seething was an understatement. He was going to murder Jackson Wang if it was the last thing he did.

“Hyung, stop.” Changkyun sounded scared, and it broke Minhyuk from his rage. He looked over and saw the younger boy looking back at him with horror in his glassy eyes. Minhyuk looked down and saw he had been digging his nails into his palms so hard he had drawn blood.

“Oh, Changkyunnie,” his rage instantly fled, leaving him with enough guilt to make him sick. “I’m so sorry… Hyung is going to make this better, okay? I can talk to Jackson. I make more in tips than ever before. He can just take some of mine-”

“No, this is my problem to fix,” Changkyun said suddenly, catching Minhyuk off guard. “I don’t want you to be bothered with this… that’s why I didn’t tell anyone. Kihyun doesn’t even know about the… being sold thing…”

“Changkyun, what Jackson is doing… it’s fucked up. He’s using you. You don’t deserve that… please, let me help you.” Minhyuk was trying his best not to cry but he felt so useless. Changkyun was in so much pain and there was nothing he could do.

“Hung, seriously. I’ll be fine… one day.” He sounded so defeated.

“Changkyun, look at me,” The two boys stopped walking again, mere feet away from the doors to the pizza place. “Let’s say the roles were reversed for a second. I was being used and being sold to pay a debt. What would do you?”

“Anything I could to get you out of that situation.” There was no hesitation. Minhyuk gave Changkyun a pointed look, and the younger boy looked down at his feet in realization.

“You don’t have to go through this alone We all have your back.” He placed a hand on Changkyun’s shoulder and the younger boy smiled through his tears.

“Thank you hyung,” He croaked. “Thank you…”

“Come on, let’s get some pizza.” Minhyuk used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe Changkyun’s cheeks before pulling the younger boy into the shop.

It was a fairly small shop, with the counter and five tables with red and white checkered tabled clothes. Only one of the tables was occupied, an employee on break was playing on his phone with his back to the door. When the bell over the door chimed, a bored voice called to them from behind the counter.

“How are you? What can I help you with today- holy shit Changkyun?”

“Huh?” Changkyun jumped a little at the sound of his name. He looked up and saw Jihoon standing by the register, his normally apathetic expression wide with shock.

“Are you alright?” The shorter boy came out from the counter to get a closer look at Changkyun, who was trying his best to hide his red eyes behind his hair.

“Changkyun?” The guy with his back to the door turned and Changkyun instantly recognized Seungcheol. The boy had dyed his hair a silvery color, which is why Changkyun didn’t see him when they first entered.

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys worked here…” He muttered, trying not to draw any more attention to the fact he had been crying outside the shop.

“Did something happen?” Cheol asked carefully. When Changkyun didn’t come to class for a day, Seungcheol was worried. When Changkyun missed the next class as well, he was scared. He had texted the younger boy, but never got a response.

“It’s fine,” He said softy. “Just… starting to open up about some stuff.” He looked up and smiled at his friends.

“Chan said something was going on but he wouldn’t tell me what.” Seungcheol said, trying to gauge Changkyun’s reaction. To his credit. Changkyun managed to keep a straight face.

“When everything blows over I swear I’ll tell you guys,” And he meant it. When everything was over and in the past, he would tell them about his job at the club – but some parts of the story would go with him to the grave. “Sorry for missing class.”

“Hey, it’s alright. I took notes for you,” Seungcheol tried sounding as reassuring as possible. “I figured something must have come up. Actually, we’re getting together tonight at the bowling alley for Chan’s birthday if you’d want to come. He was really against going to that club all of a sudden so we settled on bowling and midnight pancakes at IHop.”

“I’d love to, but I already have plans.”

“Is it that job of yours that never lets you hang out with us?” Jihoon asked, sounding only a little bitter. “You’re always working when we want to do stuff.”

“Actually, not tonight,” Changkyun said with a flush. “We’re having a…?” He trailed off, not knowing what to call their evening.

“He and Hyungwon are having a date night while Jooheon, Hyunwoo hyung and I fifth, sixth and seventh wheel.” Minhyuk interjected.

“Wait, Hoseok and Hyunwoo hyung are coming?” Changkyun asked, completely missing the part where Minhyuk called him out for having a date.

“Wait, you have a date?” Jihoon sounded impressed.

“What’s his name?” Seungcheol sounded like a teenage girl trying not to squeal at the prospect of new gossip.

“His name is Kihyun and he lives two floors above us.” Minhyuk answered, preening like a rooster. “We’re picking up the pizzas for the party.”

“Wait, Kihyun? Like, Yoon Kihyun? The author?” Jihoon’s eyes seemed to sparkle.

“Yeah, actually.” Changkyun felt pride swell in his chest. They might not be official yet, but seeing someone get so excited over Kihyun’s work – especially someone he knew – made him feel proud to be by Kihyun’s side.

“Holy shit! His Monsta X series was so good! It inspired me to write music… I wanted to compose the soundtrack if it ever became a movie…” Jihoon trailed off, looking embarrassed for getting too excited.

“Well, when you meet him you’ll have to tell him that yourself. I’m sure he’d love to hear what you’ve come up with.” Changkyun grinned at how the silly smile came back to Jihoon’s face.

“Meet him?”

“Of course! All my friends have to be friends with each other so when I talk about them, everyone knows to laugh.” Changkyun chuckled, and his chest felt much lighter.

“Here, let me get your order.” Seungcheol slipped away to let Changkyun and Jihoon talk. He hadn’t actually told Kihyun yet, but Changkyun had looked him up and started reading some of his more popular works online, so he and Jihoon had a lot to talk about.

“Alright, the pizza is gonna get cold if you don’t stop jabbering on.” Minhyuk said with a fond expression. He was sitting at one of the table with the five pizzas stacked up on top of each other, the three orders of garlic knots in a bag on top of the boxes and the several liters of soda lined up.

“Do you need help carrying all this?” Seungcheol asked, side eyeing the order.

“Nah, I think we got it. Thanks for the offer through.” Changkyun tried to pick up the boxes, only to almost tip the pile over. Minhyuk managed to catch them before any damage was done, shooting Changkyun a dirty look.

In the end, Seungcheol gave them bags to carry the drinks in. Changkyun carried two boxes, the knots and a bag on each arm while Minhyuk got the other three boxes and two bags.

“Good luck you guys!” Seungcheol waved them off with a bright smile. “And have fun on your date night! I wanna meet this guy soon, okay?”

“I’ll see when we’re free next.” Changkyun promised as they bumped the door open with their hip.

“Already using ‘we’… they’re moving fast.” Jihoon commented with a sly smirk. Changkyun just stuck his tongue out and let the door swing shut. The walk back was mostly silent, until they were in the elevator again.

“Changkyun?” Minhyuk said softly. Changkyun looked over at the other boy and hummed, showing he heard his name. “Thank you.”

“For what hyung?”

“For letting me in. I know it must have been scary… so thank you for trusting me.”

“I’d trust you with my life hyung.” Changkyun said seriously.

“Just…” It seemed like Minhyuk was going to say something else, but changed his mind. “Just remember that we all love you, so much.”

“I know, and I love you guys even more.”

“You brat! Don’t try to one up your hyung when he’s being emotional!” Minhyuk couldn’t even fake an upset tone. He just laughed, and his heart lightened to see Changkyun laugh too.

* * *

  
“Okay, so what still needs to be done?” Kihyun asked, two days after their pizza party. Hoseok and Hyunwoo insisted on coming over to make sure Kihyun was alright, and somehow managed to make Minhyuk take money for the pizzas. They left the next morning, but not without Minhyuk sneakily taking some pictures of Hoseok and Hyungwon curled together like sleeping cats.

“I finished the flashcards,” Changkyun yawned and stretched, moaning when his spine cracked several times. “I guess all there’s left to do is go through those.”

“You’re going to do fine,” Kihyun smiled fondly at Changkyun, who was eyeing his review sheet as if the piece of paper was currently insulting his friends and family. “You love biology.”

“Yeah, I love learning about it. Doesn’t mean I test well in it,” Changkyun rested his head on the table and sighed. The two of them had taken over the living room, the coffee table turned into a hectic work station and the couch into an emergency nap center. Out of the three collective nights Kihyun spent in Changkyun’s apartment, only one of those was actually in Changkyun’s bed. “I got a fifty on my last test.”

“That was because you skipped a bubble on the answer sheet at the end and got ten in a row wrong. That had nothing to do with you not knowing the material.”

“Ugh, this is the worst thing to ever happen…” Changkyun lamented, rolling his face from side to side on the table so various papers stuck to his cheeks. Kihyun couldn’t help but laugh at his antics and moved in closer.

“How about this,” He offered, watching how Changkyun’s eyes instantly fixated on him. “I’ll quiz you on the flashcards, and for every one you get right, I’ll kiss you.”

“And for the ones I get wrong?”

“I’ll smack you.” Kihyun’s grin grew when he saw Changkyun flush.

“Kinky,” Changkyun said under his breath. It was Kihyun turn to flush, and he covered it by smacking Changkyun’s forehead with the stack of index cards. “Ow! Okay, okay! Deal. I want kisses.” He pouted, just a little bitter that Kihyun had been withholding just about any form of affection for the past day and a half, only kissing or touching him as a reward for studying.

In the end, the made it through maybe ten of the index cards before they were laying on the carpet and lazily kissing, content to just be close to the other. Hyungwon floated through at some point and made a loud gagging noise when he saw how close Changkyun and Kihyun were as they stared into each other’s eyes. Changkyun giggled and Kihyun thought his heart was going to explode out of his chest.

“I love you,” He murmured as he nuzzled his nose against Changkyun cheek. He could feel the younger boy smile as he rubbed his cheek against his forehead. “I love you so much Changkyun.”

“Thank you hyung,” Changkyun said quietly, his voice almost silent. “For loving me when I’m like this.”

“What do you mean?” Kihyun pulled back with a frown. Changkyun stayed on the floor but covered his eyes with the crook of his arm.

“I mean, things would have been so much easier if we met after all of this blew over, or even before any of this even started. So… thank you. For putting up with me and somehow managing to love me even through there’s so much crap going on.”

“Changkyun, I would have loved you if I met you after everything. I would have loved you before everything. I would have loved you no matter what. Somehow managing to love you? It’s impossible not to fall in love with you Changkyun, and I find myself falling more and more every day.”

Changkyun’s eyes filled with tears as he listened to Kihyun confess his feelings. It wasn’t the first time Kihyun had given the younger a speech about why he loved him, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last, and Changkyun cherished Kihyun more and more each time.

“Thank you.” He whispered again before pulling Kihyun into a deep kiss, letting their bodies fall back onto the carpeting and losing themselves in each other.

* * *

  
_“Hyung, I’m literally going to die._ ” Changkyun’s text came through at 11:54 am, six minutes before his last midterm was about to start. Kihyun snickered at how dramatic he was being, though after the last few days of helping Kyun study, he really wasn’t surprised at all.

_“That’s not the proper use of the word literally.”_

_“It’s a hyperbole, leave me alone.”_

_“You got that from me!”_

_“Ah, you love me though.”_

_“Ugh, true…”_ Kihyun almost felt sick because of how much he loved Changkyun. If Hoseok or Hyunwoo – or anyone at the rec center – were to find out what a sap he had become because of one boy, they would never let him live it down. “ _Good luck Kyunnie! You’re going to ace this exam and then you’re going to be free!”_

 _“You’re the best cheerleader,_ ” Changkyun responded instantly with several crying faces and multiple hearts. _“God now I’m thinking about you in a cheerleader’s uniform.”_

 _“Try to focus on your exam! We can fix your other… little problem after._ ” Kihyun knew he shouldn’t be teasing Changkyun like that right before a big exam, but he couldn’t help it. The younger boy was too easy to tease.

 _“You know it’s not little._ ” The amount of winky faces made Kihyun want to cringe, but he couldn’t find it in him to do anything but smile fondly at his phone.

 _“Maybe you’ll have to remind me?_ ” Kihyun knew he was going to be scolded by the younger boy, but he was having too much fun. He could almost see Changkyun’s ears start to burn as he blushed hotly.

_“Hyung…”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I gotta go! Talk to you after!”_

_“Good luck baby!”_

Kihyun grinned at his phone again, and for the first time in years everything felt like it was going to actually work out.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title really says it all, huh?  
> I'm going to sound a little whiny for a second but even though his fic isn't getting the same traffic as my other fics, I'm really proud of it? Like, this isn't like anything I've really written before and I'm really proud of myself as a writer. I can't help but feel like I could be doing more, but even with that I'm still really happy with how it's coming out.  
> I have a really cute idea for a oneshot courtesy of my best friend, so I'm hoping to do that when I finish this fic, but I haven't decided which pairing I should do. Her idea was originally Sope but let me know if there are any other bands/ pairings you want to see!  
> Side note, this is the longest chapter yet! I normally cut them off around 8-9 pages but this one ended at 11! I wanted to get all the nice things out now because things are gonna be not nice for a little bit.


	7. Flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highkey this isn't proofread so please ignore any blatant errors because I'm too lazy to fix them.

“He’s on his way home now.” Kihyun said to Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Jooheon who were all seated around the kitchen table. They never pointed out how easily Kihyun slipped into calling the small apartment home.

“We’ll only see him for a second before we have to leave.” Jooheon sounded sad.

“We’ve only seen him before we left for the club the past few days,” Hyungwon added. “We used to see him all the time…”

“Well, his mini vacation ends tonight,” Minhyuk butted in. “Jackson said he wanted him back to work tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to say thank god because I know this job isn’t good for him,” Jooheon shuddered a little. “But I’m lowkey glad not to be dancing anymore. I don’t know how he handles it every single night. Those guys are… they’re down right creepy. Always staring and cheering and trying to touch me… I can’t stand it. I’m much better at security.”

“I know but… shit okay I might be breaking his trust a little but…” Minhyuk chewed at his bottom lip, trying to decided what was more important – Changkyun’s trust or helping the boy. He sighed when he made up his mind. “Jackson’s basically been blackmailing him. He apparently owes him a debt but it hasn’t been going down at all. He’s been taking like, sixty percent of Kyun’s tips every night and… selling his body to clients…”

“What?” Kihyun’s heart stopped.

“I probably shouldn’t have told you guys that but it’s important… I wanted to give Jackson my tips but Changkyun refused. Said it was his problem to fix. I don’t know how to help him, which is why I’m telling you now.”

“Wait… go back,” Kihyun’s ears were ringing and he thought he was going to be sick. Part of him thought it might be a possibility after what happened at Hyunwoo’s, but hearing he was right and that it happened often… he was going to throw up. “How many times?”

“What?” Minhyuk watched Kihyun break down, rubbing the older boy’s back in an attempt to comfort him without much luck.

“How many times had Changkyun…?” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

“I don’t know how many times… just that it happens a lot apparently.” Minhyuk felt as sick as Kihyun looked.

“We have to get him out of there,” He said faintly, trying to fight back the bile rising in his throat. The kitchen was enveloped in silence as the boys tried to think of something – anything – to save their friend. Kihyun racked his brain for some sort of solution, but everything he thought of wouldn’t work, not in the long run. Finally, he lit up. “I’ve got it.”

“Hyuuuuuungs,” Changkyun threw open the front door with a loud whine. “I’m dying… I hate midterms.”

“Changkyunnie…” Minhyuk plastered on a large smile and went to greet their youngest.

“You look like you swallowed a lemon.” Changkyun remarked casualty, causing Minhyuk to snort.

“Ya, don’t you ever have any compliments for your hyungs?”

“Of course I do,” He went into the kitchen and placed a kiss on Kihyun’s cheek. “You look amazing in pink hyung. Makes me wanna cuddle the crap out of you.” He looked Kihyun up and down again, taking in the dark jeans and the oversized pink sweater that hung down to his knees. It was the same shade of pink as his cheeks, Changkyun was pleased to note.

“That’s not what I meant!” Minhyuk pouted, causing Changkyun to laugh as he wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s waist. “Anyway… I wanted to talk to you about-”

“I go back to work tomorrow, right?” Changkyun said easily, as if he was casually talking about it being his turn to do the dishes.

“Is that alright with you?” Minhyuk treaded carefully. He saw how Changkyun’s eyes darted to him and back to the others before he smiled, albeit a little fake.

“Why wouldn’t it be? It’s just dancing… I can handle it.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes and Kihyun felt his own eyes sting. The boy he loved more than anything was going to end up killing himself if he kept going, and he didn’t seem to notice.

“Alright… enjoy your night guys.”

“Food is on its way,” Jooheon said with a smirk. “I know your dumb ass didn’t eat today so I did what any best friend in the world would and ordered your favorite.”

“Hyung, you didn’t have to do that.” Changkyun whined. Jooheon just laughed and messed up the younger boy’s hair.

“Hey, you’ve been busy lately and I miss being able to spoil you.”

“Love you hyung,” Changkyun gave Jooheon a short hug before turning back to Kihyun. “Want to watch a movie?”

“I’d love to.” Kihyun didn’t feel hurt at how easily Changkyun could say the words to his roommates. He was smart enough to know the difference between the affection the younger boy held for his friends versus the affection he held for him.

As soon as Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Jooheon left and the food had been divided between the two plates, Changkyun and Kihyun settled onto the couch under a large blanket. Changkyun was warm – almost hot – against Kihyun’s side, but the older boy didn’t make a move to fix the situation. Fifteen minutes into the movie Changkyun’s hand started to wander. They hadn’t done anything but kiss since the night at Hyunwoo’s, and Kihyun was actually okay with that. As much as he wanted to go farther with Changkyun, he was thriving off the kisses and soft touches he received from the younger boy. He was happy.

When Changkyun’s hand brushed against his stomach, Kihyun felt his breath leave his body. Changkyun’s fingers were hot and Kihyun could feel them leaving fiery trails along his skin. When Changkyun began to kiss and suck at his neck, Kihyun felt his restraint breaking quickly.

“Hyung, you really do look amazing in pink,” Changkyun murmured huskily into his ear and the words went straight to Kihyun’s cock, which was getting hard way too fast. “I could just eat you up… I bet you’d taste as sweet as you look.”

“Changkyun, you’re such a tease.” Kihyun whined a little, feeling his face heat up. This was nothing like the last time. Kihyun had taken charge and Changkyun willingly went along with it. Even when they kissed, most of the time Kihyun would take charge.

“I’m the tease?” Changkyun nibbled on Kihyun’s ear. “I come home and see you looking so delicious and I had to wait until everyone left to do anything about it. You’re the one teasing me here. I think I deserve a little something as payment for being treated so unfairly.”

“What kind of payment?” Kihyun’s blood was racing. He hadn’t been in that many relationships before, but he had never been the submissive one. The thought of Changkyun taking control made the older boy’s blood boil.

“Hmm… I’ve been wondering what those soft lips of yours would look like wrapped around my cock.” Changkyun growled and Kihyun gulped loudly. Something happened in the movie but neither of them were paying any attention to it.

“Have you now?” Kihyun felt a surge of confidence. “You know, I’ve been wondering what your cock would look like in my mouth too.” He knew he stuck a chord with Changkyun, because his eyes rolled back a little as he growled again. Changkyun surged forward and latched onto Kihyun’s neck, biting and sucking and making a mark that would last for weeks. Kihyun moaned loudly when he felt Changkyun’s teeth on his skin and suddenly wanted more.

“You want me to bite you more? You want me to cover your skin in marks baby?” Changkyun whispered into Kihyun’s ear, the pet name sending shivers down his spine.

“Yes…” He breathed back.

“Yes what, Kihyunnie? You need to use your words for me.”

“Yes, please mark me.” Kihyun never begged before and it was sending fire through his body. Changkyun grinned at him, the light from the movie reflecting off the lust in his eyes.

“Anything for you,” He kissed down Kihyun’s clothed torso, nipping and licking as we went. When he got down to the hem, his tongue shot out and licked the stripe of skin that had become exposed. Kihyun groaned at the sudden coolness. “Take this off. Now.”  
Kihyun didn’t waste any time stripping the oversized sweater off. Once his torso was bare, he could feel a slight chill in the air but he knew he was going to be warmed again soon enough. Changkyun began sucking on his skin, making a trail of marks from his hipbone back up to his collarbone. Each one left sent Kihyun further and further into a moaning mess on the couch. When Changkyun took one of his nipples into his mouth, Kihyun arched off the couch.

“Changkyun… s-stop teasing me…” He gasped as he felt teeth drag against his sensitive skin.

“What do you want me to do instead?” Changkyun asked against his flushed chest. The vibrations from Changkyun’s chest pressed so close to his own made Kihyun’s legs weak.

“Let me…” He groaned again as Changkyun licked a strip up his neck. “Let me touch you… please. I wanna… I wanna taste you.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Changkyun murmured as he pulled away from Kihyun’s chest. The older boy could feel the sore spots where there would be purple splotches in the morning, but it just turned him on even more. “Kihyun you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Nothing could compare.”

“I love you Changkyun.” He whispered as he kissed Changkyun, his hands undoing his jeans as he shoved his tongue into Changkyun’s mouth. The younger boy brought his hands up to Kihyun’s head and gripped his hair tightly. Kihyun whined in pleasure as the sharp pain from his scalp traveled downwards. Changkyun tugged again to spur Kihyun on, and the older boy eagerly took his pants off completely. Changkyun’s cock was already straining against his boxers.

“H-hyung…” it sounded like he was straining to talk. “Don’t… don’t do anything you don’t wanna do… if you want to stop you can…”

“Changkyun, please,” Kihyun looked up at Changkyun through his bangs and he heard the younger boy suck in a sharp breath. “Please, let me touch you? I want to make you feel good… I want you to cum in my mouth… please Changkyunnie? Please?”

"Ah, since you asked so nicely,” Changkyun pulled his boxers down, letting his cock bounce out. Kihyun’s eyes darkened at the sight and immediately took Changkyun into his mouth. Not expecting Kihyun to instantly swallow him completely, Changkyun couldn’t hold back a guttural growl as he threw his head back. Kihyun relaxed his throat and went all the way down, until his nose was brushing against the skin of Changkyun’s stomach.

“Ah, fuck hyung,” Changkyun thought his eyes were going to completely roll back in his head. “Hyung, oh god fuck, fuck.”  
Kihyun felt his pride swell as the normally composed boy broke down into nonsense curses. He hummed against his dick and Changkyun pushed Kihyun off. Kihyun sat back on his heels, panting and looking up at the other boy questioningly.

“Fuck hyung… that was too good.” Changkyun growled, his breathing heavy.

“Are you gonna cum for me Changkyunnie?” He asked sweetly, watching as Changkyun’s eyes glazed over even more. “Cum in hyung’s mouth?”

“A-are you sure?” He suddenly sounded almost afraid and Kihyun knew he needed to take control of the situation. He kissed Changkyun’s thigh gently, smiling when he felt fingers make their way back into his hair.

“I’m sure, really. I want to make you cum. I want to see your face when I swallow it… I really do want it, but we can stop if you’re not comfortable.” A small part of him wanted to die at the thought of stopping so suddenly, but he knew Changkyun came before any of his own urges.

“Don’t stop…” Changkyun rumbled, gently caressing Kihyun’s face before tugging on his hair sharply. “Touch yourself while you suck me off.”  
Kihyun instantly obeyed. He never thought he could be so turned on by being ordered about, but he scrambled to get his own pants off as he took Changkyun back into his mouth. They both groaned at the same time as Kihyun swallowed Changkyun as he began stroking himself.

“Fuck, just like that,” Changkyun snarled as he jerked Kihyun’s hair, urging him on. “Oh god hyung, you feel so good.”

Kihyun had never had such a vocal partner before, and the sinful sounds coming from Changkyun’s lips were enough to make his head spin. He felt his own orgasm approaching fast, so he pulled off Changkyun’s cock and looked up at him.

“Fuck my mouth,” He said, panting. “Please, fuck my mouth when I cum.”  
Changkyun didn’t hesitate. He took both hands and placed them on either side of Kihyun’s face and thrust back into the other boy’s mouth, hitting the back of his throat in one movement. Kihyun’s eyes watered as he choked a little but he let his jaw relax and whined into the cock that was being shoved down his throat. He lurched forward as fire coiled in his stomach. Changkyun gave a sharp yank on his hair and Kihyun came all over his hand with a loud, whining moan.

“Oh fuck hyung, I’m-” Changkyun didn’t even finish his warning before he spilled into Kihyun’s mouth. His guttural moan was cut off when Kihyun started to suck, almost as if the older boy was trying to drain him completely. “Ah fuck!”

Changkyun collapsed with a gasp, letting Kihyun catch him before he hit the floor. Kihyun peppered Changkyun’s face with soft kisses, whispering how much he loved the other boy as he helped him onto the couch.

“Here, I’ll go clean us up and we can cuddle.” Kihyun said warmly. Changkyun hummed contently.

“That’s gay.” He mumbled cheekily and Kihyun smacked the back of his head.

“You’re stupid.” He laughed.

“You love me though.” Changkyun sounded close to passing out. Kihyun kissed his forehead and felt tears in his eyes. He was so, so happy. Changkyun was the missing piece in his life.

“I do, you brat,” He said fondly, smiling wider when he saw Changkyun pout. “I love you so much.”

* * *

  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kihyun asked for the fifth time since Changkyun left his room. The younger boy had finally finished getting ready for work, and Kihyun felt his stomach flop. Changkyun looked good – with tight ripped pants that looked like they were made of leather, a leather harness across his chest and a plain black vest. His hair was styled up to show his forehead and he was wearing dark eye makeup that made him seem mysterious and dangerous. Kihyun wanted to be turned on, but he knew Changkyun was dressed like that because of a job that was slowly killing him.

“Of course hyung,” Changkyun smiled, the familiar boy peeking through the sexy persona he was sporting. “Are you coming to watch?” He asked curiously, noting how Kihyun was dressed to leave the apartment.

“I have some business to take care of, but if it doesn’t run too late maybe I’ll stop in,” Kihyun hated lying to Changkyun, but he had to do something. “I’ve been wanting to see you dance for a while now. I’m sure you’re absolutely captivating.”

“H-hush,” Changkyun blushed as he shoved his feet into his black boots, the ones he bought specifically for work. “Well, we have to go. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” Kihyun leaned in and kissed Changkyun softly. “I love you.”

“I… I love you too hyung,” Changkyun’s voice sounded timid but Kihyun saw fire in his eyes when he quickly looked up. “I love you so much. I’m sorry it took so long to say.”

“Never apologize,” Kihyun kissed his cheeks, his nose, the corners of his mouth. “Never apologize Changkyun. I love you so much.”

“Come on, we’re gonna be late.” Hyungwon said, a hint of a smile in his voice. He was dressed special that evening, which Changkyun knew meant someone special was coming to see him. He was wearing fishnets under shorts that had the pockets showing, the tights coming above the waist line of the shorts to hug Hyungwon’s slender hips nicely. He was wearing a white crop top with long, flowing sleeves and a choker with a ring in the middle.

“Ya, don’t rush him,” Minhyuk scolded. “He’s finally confessing. It’s cute.” He was dressed in his finest as well. Ripped skinny jeans with a loose black blouse, cat ears and tail and a bright pink collar with a leash attached, which he wrapped around his shoulders.

“Changkyunnie is so cute!” Jooheon sang, dressed in all black, as usual. The three dancers put on their jackets, mainly to block out the chilled breeze, but also to hide their outfits on the walk to the club. Kihyun watched them leave with a smile, waiting for the door to close for him to frown.

Phase one, complete.

* * *

  
Changkyun danced like he had never danced before. Since he was gone for five nights, his clients were more rowdy than usual. They were also more generous, which is why Changkyun kept testing the boundaries. Men and women alike were throwing larger and larger bills onto his stage. He caught a hundred dollar bill in his hand and made a show of tucking it in his tight waistband. People were clamoring for his attention, and two clients were already escorted from the building for being too handsy.

“Hyung!” A voice called and Changkyun hesitated. He was called several things while dancing, but never hyung. He didn’t break character as he scanned the crowd and his blood froze when he saw who was there. Hansol and Chan were standing next to each other, right by the outskirts of the cluster around his stage. Chan looked determined, but Hansol just looked confused and possibly even a little scared.

Changkyun finished his dance and when the music faded he gathered the bills scattered at his feet before bowing and heading off the stage. People reached out for him, but the security held them back. He made his way to the dressing rooms, his heart pounding painfully. Glancing towards Jackson’s office, he was a little shocked to see the door shut. Jackson almost always left it open unless he was in a meeting. He said he liked being able to see what was happening with his dancers, but Changkyun figured it was just because he liked to intimidate them.

“Hyung, please talk to us!” Chan’s voice was much louder now that the music was muffled. Changkyun spun around and looked at the two boys who were jogging to catch up with him.

“How did you get back here?” He choked out, feeling the shame close his throat.

“Jooheon hyung let us back,” Hansol said, sounding like he was carefully planning each word in his head before saying them out loud. “Changkyun hyung, is this the job that’s been bothering you so much?”

“Guys, you need to leave and pretend you never saw anything.” Changkyun was close to tears.

“We’re not going anywhere until you talk to me,” Chan demanded, stomping his foot for emphasis. “I’ve been texting you all week but you keep ignoring me. Seungcheol said he tried texting you too but you did the same to him.”

“I’m sorry Channie,” Changkyun’s guilt doubled. He was guilty of not checking any messages unless they came from Kihyun or one of his roommates. He deleted the others without even looking at them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to his friends. He just needed some space, some time to think about things. “I’ve been a bad hyung, haven’t I?”

“No, of course not!” Hansol said quickly, his eyes getting glassy.

“We’re just so worried about you…” Chan sounded miserable and Changkyun wanted to beat himself up for hurting the younger boy.

“I’m sorry... but please. I don’t want anyone knowing…”

“Why not?” Hansol asked, sounding a little taken back. “You looked amazing up there hyung. There’s nothing shameful with making a living.”

“R-really?” Changkyun smiled despite himself. He didn’t know why he felt happy when his friends said he looked good, or when they didn’t only not hate him, but actually defended him. “But… I do other shameful things. I’m not someone you guys can look up to…”

“I admire you,” Chan said, making Changkyun’s head jerk up to look at him. “I really do. You go to school full time, and work here every night and still manage to spend time with us and take care of us. I think that’s really amazing.”

“Thank you.” Changkyun choked out, the tears that had been threatening to fall finally escaping. He tried to carefully wipe them away, but his black eye makeup smeared everywhere anyway.

“Of course! You’re our hyung, and we’d do anything for you.” Chan was the first to wrap Changkyun in a hug, and Hansol followed quickly after.

“What are you doing here though?” Changkyun finally realized how out of place the two boys looked in the club.

“You weren’t answering us and I was scared that something had happened,” Chan looked sheepishly to the ground when he pulled away from the embrace. “I was going to come alone but Hansol hyung caught me sneaking out and came with me.”

“We wanted to see that you were okay,” Hansol added on. “Or… alive at least. I don’t know how okay you really are.”

“I’m getting there,” Changkyun smiled through his tears. “I’m going to be okay.”

“Hyung…” Chan trailed off, tears of his own threatening to spill.

“FIRE!” Someone screamed, and time seemed to freeze. The door separating the back rooms from the main room burst open and Changkyun was hit with a wall of heat. Jooheon came rushing back, his face bright red and covered in soot.

“Changkyun get the hell out of here!” He screamed over the cries coming from the main room. “Someone set the fucking club on fire!”  
Changkyun didn’t think, he just acted. He grabbed Chan and Hansol’s arms and dragged them from the back, heading towards the employee exit. Just as he was about to kick the door open, he remembered the fire lessons in school. Placing the back of his hand on the door, Changkyun screamed in pain. The skin on the back of his hand was already blistering. There was a fire directly outside the exit, meaning they were stuck.

“Go, go!” He screamed at Hansol and Chan, who looked terrified. Changkyun grabbed his jacket from the side table and threw it over the two of them. “Run to the front doors. Don’t stop for anything. Just get out!”

“What about you?” Chan’s voice was almost lost beneath the crackling that seemed to shriek at them.

“Don’t worry about me! Just get out!” Changkyun desperately pushed the two boys towards the exit. They hesitated for a second, but when a beam came crashing down a foot from their heads they scrambled away. Changkyun followed right after, ducking between burning beams and falling flames. There was a small explosion – the liquor in the bar had finally caught. Changkyun was thrown to the ground, and he blacked out.

He woke up seconds later, but in that time he had become so disoriented that he didn’t know which way the door way. He struggled to his feet and staggered in the direction he had been facing, praying to whatever god was listening that it was the right direction. He saw the familiar desk by the front doors and started crying.

Changkyun burst through the doors, collapsing onto the cold cement of the walkway in front of the club. Fire fighters were already there, desperately trying to stop the flames from spreading to the other buildings. Jooheon was the first to rush to Changkyun’s side. He helped the younger boy sit up and held his back as he started coughing painfully.

“Oh thank god you’re alright.” Jooheon sobbed into his shoulder.

“Where is everyone? Are they okay?” Now that Changkyun wasn’t facing a wall of fire, his was able to think a little more clearly.

“They’re fine,” Jooheon said. “Hyungwon and Minhyuk are being treated by paramedics, and your two friends made it out just before the explosion. What- oh my god you’re bleeding!” His voice sounded faint. Changkyun lifted a filthy hand to the side of his face and was shocked to see red coating his fingers when he pulled them away.

“The explosion threw me,” He said, feeling like he was going to pass out. “I must have been hit.”

“We have to get you to the hospital.” Jooheon cried as he tried to lift Changkyun. Just then, Minhyuk and Hyungwon came running over, both sporting bandaging and looking worse for wear.

“Oh that god you made it out!” Minhyuk collapsed at Changkyun’s side.

“Where’s Kihyun hyung?” Hyungwon sounded far away. Changkyun’s blood froze despite the inferno burning behind him.

“What?” Changkyun couldn’t feel his body. Minhyuk started sobbing harder into his shoulder.

“Changkyun, did you not see Kihyun in there?” Hyungwon was getting hysterical. When Changkyun shook his head numbly, Hyungwon started to panic. “Oh shit, oh fuck! He was going to talk to Jackson but… shit! I don’t think either of them came out… fuck.”

That’s all Changkyun needed to hear. He was on his feet in an instant, any threat of passing out suddenly gone.

“Changkyun, no!” Jooheon screamed as the younger boy ran back into the fire.

* * *

  
“So let me get this straight,” Jackson said calmly, eyeing the man sitting in front of him. Kihyun was being very professional and explaining his proposition carefully rather than cursing the other man out, like he wanted to do. “You’ll pay IM’s debt? Right now?”

“How much does he still have left to pay back?” Kihyun asked coolly. “I have a decent amount of cash on me right now, and I was hoping we could settle this before the night was out.”

“Why are you so set on helping that boy?” Jackson leaned across his desk, raising an eyebrow. “Clearly you know what he does, otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now. But the real question remains. Why is a semi famous author willing to blow all his savings on a little whore like Changkyun?”

“Call him a whore one more time and it’s going to be the last thing you do.” Kihyun snarled, and even Jackson looked mildly alarmed before he made a connection in his head. He gave Kihyun an impish grin as he sat back.

“You love him, don’t you?” He asked, already knowing the answer. “Well, I could always offer you a position as a dancer. Pay his debt that way. Or you could… pick up a few of his clients?”

“I’m not a prostitute,” Kihyun hissed, narrowing his eyes. “And neither is Changkyun. Just give me a number and let’s settle this.”

“But the thing is… I don’t want to settle this,” Jackson grinned at the shocked expression on Kihyun’s face. “I happen to like Changkyun, and I know when his debt is gone, so is he. I don’t want to lose one of my best money makers.”

“You sick fuck!” Kihyun stood and launched himself at Jackson. His fist collided solidly with the man’s jaw and Kihyun found sick satisfaction with the crunch he heard. Before Jackson could stumble to his feet and throw a punch of his own, a cry was heard through the closed door.

“FIRE!” Both men looked at each other, panting and eyes wide. Kihyun unfroze first and threw himself at Jackson again, knocking them both to the ground.

“You sick fuck!” He screamed as he pummeled Jackson. “How dare you whore out Changkyun? He’s too good for this place and you know it! That’s why you’ve been abusing your power over him! I’m going to fucking kill you!” He spit out, rage taking over. He was never a violent person, but finally being able to take his anger out on the man that had hurt his Changkyun so badly was overtaking any rational thought he might have.

He was thrown to the side when an explosion hit the building. The office shuttered and a beam collapsed, slamming onto the desk sending sparks through the room.

“Fuck!” Jackson screamed, the blood sizzling on his face when he looked directly at the burning beam just inches from his face.

“Shit, Changkyun!” Kihyun’s only thought was that Changkyun was still out there, in the fire. He tried to open the door, but the knob was so hot that it instantly burnt his hand. He pulled back with a cry and scrambled away.

Kihyun realized he was going to die. He was going to either be cooked alive, or a beam was going to fall on him. He couldn’t get out of the room. He was never going to see Changkyun again. He sobbed, his tears instantly drying from the scalding heat of the fire. Kihyun glanced over and saw Jackson had been hit, a bloody lump on his forehead. It didn’t look like he was moving.

“Oh god what do I do?” Kihyun sobbed, scared out of his mind. A particularly strong blast of heat sent him scrambling back behind the desk. The thick wood offered little protection from the fire, but at least he wasn’t in direct contact with the heat. He heard wood splintering and thought another beam fell until he heard a voice calling over the screaming fire.

“Hyung!”

Changkyun fought his way back in, barely avoiding falling wood and the flames that were already consuming the entirety of the building. He made a beeline for the office, where the door was still closed. A flaming beam was blocking it, the wood wedged against the door. Changkyun wrapped his jacket around one end and used all his strength to throw the beam away. He could feel every inch of his skin screaming from the pain, but all he cared about was getting to Kihyun. He kicked the door open, the weak wood splintering easily.

“Hyung! Where are you?” He called, frantically looking around. The office was a mess, burning wood covering ever surface.

“Ch-Changkyun?” Kihyun looked up from behind the desk and Changkyun thought his knees were going to give out.

“We gotta get out of here!” He screamed, moving towards the other boy. Kihyun moved towards him at the same time and they collapsed into each other when they met in the middle. “Let’s go!”

Changkyun turned to run out of the room with Kihyun when he spotted a pair of feet sticking out from under the desk. He only hesitated for a second before rushing back into the office, ignoring Kihyun’s cries for him to get out. He quickly pulled Jackson onto his back, the man much heavier when he was unconscious. Changkyun staggered from the office just as the ceiling completely collapsed. Kihyun grabbed his sleeve and started pulling him towards the front.

Changkyun watched it happen in slow motion. A beam came swinging down towards Kihyun, whose eyes were focused on the light streaming in from the front door. He didn’t think. He pushed Kihyun out of the way and felt the beam strike him in the ribs. He scream was garbled as he spit out blood and surged forward again. Kihyun tripped, landing painfully on to the ground. Changkyun somehow managed to gather him in his arms with Jackson still on his back.

The three barely managed to stumble out of the building before the entire structure collapsed in a fiery explosion. Changkyun felt hands on his burnt skin, but all he cared about was that Kihyun was okay. When he managed to turn his head, he saw Kihyun staring at him, tears cleaning tracks down his soot stained face. With the knowledge that Kihyun was alive, Changkyun blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha guess what shit got real
> 
> On on more serious note, I'm really liking how this is turning out. I have a ton more ideas on where to take the plot from here, but I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being.  
> Also, BTS and Monsta X are both going to be like.... an hour away from me at some point this year and I can't go to either because I'm so BROKE. I mean like, I'm so grateful to see Astro at the Town Hall but still man. They're gonna be in my STATE. WITHOUT ME.


	8. Waiting Rooms and Unlikely Friendships

Hyungwon couldn’t sleep. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t close his eyes and run away from the horrors that were following him. Hoseok held his hand tighter, trying to comfort the boy. Hyungwon was so tired, but every time he closed his eyes – even for a moment – he saw images of fires and heard screaming and saw Changkyun, bloody and dying, being loaded into an ambulance.

They had all been taken to the hospital. He, Minhyuk and Jooheon were released after a check up to make sure there wasn’t any smoke in their lungs. They didn’t go home though. Hyungwon found a corner of the waiting room the moment they let him leave and sat down, refusing to move until he was able to see Changkyun.

Hoseok had come before he was even released, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t seem surprised to see Hyungwon dressed like a stripper, and if he was he managed to hide it perfectly. He offered Hyungwon his hoodie to cover what was left of his clothing. The fishnets had been ripped beyond repair and his blouse was stained black. He threw the tights and the shirt out, leaving him in just the hoodie and the shorts. The fabric stunk of fire, but Hyungwon decided wearing his own clothing was better than the paper robes the hospital gave him.

“Here, I got you some coffee,” Hoseok came back. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo were napping on each other a seat away from them, and Jooheon was talking on the phone – probably filling in Chan and Hansol’s friends on what happened. The two younger boys were still in a room together, just until the doctors could be sure they were cleared. If it weren’t for Changkyun, the doctors said, they would have died from smoke inhalation before they made it out. “I know you like it iced, so I had to go to this café down the road. I’m sorry for being gone for so long.” Hoseok sat down next to Hyungwon and kissed his forehead as he placed the plastic cup into the younger boy’s hands.

“Thank you hyung.” Hyungwon said, his voice scratchy and raw from the smoke.

“Here, I also bought these,” He handed Hyungwon a bag from the hospital gift shop. Inside were a pair of large sweatpants with the hospital’s logo down the leg. “I figured you must be cold, and I was hoping they could make you a little more comfortable while we waited.”

“Hoseok…” Hyungwon’s eyes stung and he found himself sobbing into the other man’s chest. He had been practically motionless since Hoseok came scrambling into the hospital, almost six hours before. Having Hyungwon suddenly burst into loud tears shocked Hoseok, who didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around the thin boy and pull him into his chest.

“They’re going to be okay Wonnie,” He said softly, feeling Hyungwon sob harder. “Changkyun and Kihyun… those two won’t let anything stop them.”

“I’m so scared,” Hyungwon said through his tears. Hoseok felt his throat close up, his own tears threatening to spill at how heartbroken the boy in his arms sounded. “I can’t lose Changkyunnie… what are we going to do if he… if he doesn’t make it?”

“Don’t think like that,” Hoseok pressed a warm kiss to Hyungwon’s forehead. “You have to positive. You have to have faith in Changkyun. He wouldn’t leave you guys behind like that. He loves you.”

Hyungwon couldn’t answer, and instead let his sobs overtake him again. As Hoseok began rubbing his back, there was a commotion by the front desk. Two young boys – looking to be around Changkyun’s age if not a little younger – rushed to the worker, tears streaming down their faces. Hoseok was barely able to hear them.

“Please, we need to see Jackson? Jackson Wang? He was brought in a few hours ago and we just found out… we just heard what happened and we ran over… Please, is he alright?” The boy who spoke was skinny and shorter than the second, his words accented.

“Wang? He’s out of the ICU but he’s not allowed any visitors right now,” The woman at the desk said with a small frown. “If you’d like, you can wait and I can call you when he’s cleared?”

“Yes, thank you so much.” The boys bowed and moved to sit in the waiting area, keeping a fair distance between them and the others in the corner. Hyungwon felt his blood boil.

“I hope Jackson hyung is alright.” The one boy said, voice thick with tears. The shorter boy pulled him into a hug.

“Don’t worry, Gyeom. Hyung is tough. He’ll be okay.”

“Jackson?” Hyungwon found himself standing and walking over to the two boys. Hoseok tried to pull the younger boy back, but Hyungwon was working on auto pilot.

“You know hyung?” The taller boy said, his tear stained face lighting up.

“This… this is all his fault,” Hyungwon choked out painfully, his normally calm face twisting into anger. “This is all Jackson’s fault. If Changkyun dies, it’s because of him!” His voice raised to a shout at the end, and both Hoseok and Minhyuk pulled him back.

“Don’t say that,” Minhyuk said softly, trying to calm his friend. “Changkyun’s gonna be fine.”

“What do you mean?” The skinner boy stood up and faced Hyungwon, looking like he was going to fight him. “Hyung would never do anything bad.”

“You’re fuckin oblivious then,” Hyungwon spat out at the boy, whose eyes widened comically. “After everything that happened… Jackson deserves everything he got.”

“Don’t say that!” The second boy stood too, and there was suddenly a stand-off in the hospital waiting room. The nurses were eyeing them warily, waiting to intervene if needed. “Hyung is a good person!”

“Do you even know why he’s in the hospital?” Hyungwon asked with as much venom as possible.

“There was a fire,” The skinny one said. “He was stuck inside but managed to escape.”

“That’s it?” Hyungwon wanted to laugh, but he knew if he did he would start crying again. “That fire was at the strip club he owned. Did you know that? Did you know he owned a place where people sold their bodies to make rent? Did you know he forced my friend to whore himself out to pay a debt that kept going up? Did you know he was blackmailing Changkyun into working his ass off and staying at the place where he was raped in the back without any of us knowing? Without any of us being able to do anything as he killed himself? We couldn’t do anything to help him. He-” Hyungwon broke, tears streaming down his face again. He wanted to keep going, but his knees gave out as he sobbed. Hoseok barely managed to catch him before he fell onto the cold tiles. Hyungwon buried his face into Hoseok’s shoulder again.

“He-he would never…” The taller boy sounded scared. “Hyung would never do that…”

“Is that where he was every night?” The skinny boy had no emotion in his voice.

“Bam, what do you mean?”

“Is that where he got all the money he spends on us?” The boy – Bam – was starting to sound angry.

“Jackson is my damn boss. Of course he that’s where he got his money. He took more than half of Kyunnie’s tips every fuckin night and none of us realized anything was wrong.” Hyungwon was blaming himself, and it was ripping him apart inside.

“Wait, if you’re telling the truth then…” The taller boy said, eyes widening in horror. “Oh god… what’s hyung gotten himself into?”

“Yugyeom, we need to call the others.” Bam sounded close to crying.

“What do we tell them? That Jackson hyung did all these horrible things so he could do nice things for us?” Yugyeom collapsed onto one of the waiting room chair and held his head in his hands. His shoulders began to shake and a small part of Hyungwon felt bad for them. They didn’t know what Jackson had done. They just wanted to make sure their hyung was okay.

“I don’t know…” Bam did start crying, silent tears running down his cheeks.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Hyungwon sniffled and whipped his face, smearing what was left of the make-up and the soot across his skin. “I’m just… I’m just really fucking scared. But that’s no excuse to take it out on you. Do you… wanna come wait with us?”

“Really?” They seemed hesitant, and Hyungwon couldn’t blame them.

“You must be really freaked out,” his voice was strained. “The last thing you need right now it being alone.”

“Thank you…” Bam said softly, taking Yugyeom’s hand and pulling him over to where Hyunwoo and Jooheon were sitting. Once the other three joined them, the mismatched group of boys fell into an anxious silence.

* * *

  
Kihyun woke up in pain. It felt like his lungs were on fire and he wanted to throw up. He had tried smoking once or twice, and that burning was a cool breeze in comparison to the agony that was tearing into his chest. He sat up and tried to cough, but it hurt so badly that he thought he was going to pass out again.

“Oh, you’re awake. I’ll go get the doctor.” A female voice said from the foot of his bed. Kihyun looked around and saw he was in the hospital, with bandages wrapped around his hands and an IV drip in his arm. The nurse scurried out, leaving Kihyun alone again.

He looked to his left and saw another bed occupied. The man in the other bed looked worse off than him, with bandages wrapped around most of his head and arms. Kihyun’s memory started coming back little by little. When he remembered what happened right before he was taken away, he frantically began hitting the call button. The same nurse came rushing in, looking worried.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, taking in how Kihyun was openly sobbing in his bed.

“Changkyun,” he said, his voice barely audible. “Where… I need to see Chank- I need to know he’s alright. Where’s Changkyun? Where’s my baby?” He sobbed harder, his throat in so much pain he thought he was going to start throwing up blood. The nurse came over to check his IV calmly and wrote something down on a clipboard.

“Im Changkyun is still in Intensive Care,” She said carefully. “He was in bad condition when you were brought in. You’ve been unconscious for about six hours. I’m going to give you a higher dosage of painkillers. Is that alright, Yoon-ssi?”

“When can I see him?” Kihyun didn’t care about his own pain. He just wanted to see Changkyun. He wanted to kiss him and promise him everything was going to be alright.

“I’ll let you know when he’s allowed to have visitors,” She smiled at Kihyun, and he could see the empathy in her eyes. “He must really love you.” She said suddenly, startling Kihyun.

“What?”

“When you were brought in, he wouldn’t stop calling for you. He wouldn’t let anyone of us tough him until you were taken care of… I’m going to go out on a limb and say he was the one who pulled you from the fire?”

“That dumbass went back in for me,” Kihyun felt fat, hot tears soak into his hospital blanket. “He should have left me but he got hurt…”

“You’re one lucky man, Kihyun.” She said with a smile. Kihyun just sobbed into his hands as the nurse left to get him more painkillers.

“Changkyun, please…” He sobbed, not caring that he was ripping up his burned throat even more. “Please be okay… please… I love you.”

* * *

Changkyun thought he was dead.

Then the pain hit and he wanted to scream. Death would never be this painful. He almost wished for death – if dying meant stopping this agony for just a moment then he would have welcomed it with open arms – but one thing kept him holding on.

Anytime he wanted to give in and sink into the darkness, he remembered Kihyun’s face when he pulled the older boy from the fire. He needed to fight for Kihyun.

Eternities later, Changkyun opened his eyes to pleasant darkness – not the darkness that threatened to eat him whole – but a darkness that was soft and warm. His eyes started to adjust and he could make out a window with the shades drawn, almost completely blocking out the fading light. He saw a television on the wall and empty chairs along the bed. He tried to sit up but realized he was almost completely covered in white bandages. His skin felt like it was boiling under the wrappings, and he was about to start clawing it off when the lights flicked on.

“Oh, we weren’t expecting you to wake up for another day at least,” A woman in a doctor’s jacket said, her voice colored with surprise. “You’re pretty popular, huh Changkyun? You have half the waiting room here for you, then some. I’m just going to do some tests real fast, alright?”

Changkyun couldn’t answer. It felt like his throat had melted shut in the fire. His chest was in absolute agony and even breathing sent stabbing pains through his whole body.

“You’re lucky, you know,” The doctor continued to speak as she checked his vitals and began removing some of the less necessary bandaging around his face and arms. “Broken ribs, burns across your body, severe concussion, blood loss… they said you carried two fully grown men out of the fire all by yourself while injured. That’s impressive.”

“Kihyun…” He croaked out, his voice sounding like a malfunctioning record player.

“Ah yes, the infamous Kihyun,” The doctor smiled warmly as she replaced the bag on his IV drip. “I don’t know how lucid you actually were but you kept screaming at the nurses to help him first. You wouldn’t let anyone within ten feet of you until he was taken in for evaluation.”

“How…?”

“How is he? Well, I can’t really give that information I’m afraid. I can say that he’s awake now, though. He’s been asking about you for hours.”

“See him…” Tears stung Changkyun’s eyes from how much it hurt to speak.

“Not yet I’m afraid,” The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile. “Because of your burns, you’re at high risk of developing infections. As soon as they heal a little more you can have visitors. It’ll probably be a few days before that’s likely though.

“Need to see him now…” He wanted to scream, but the pain was making his sight go black. The doctor pricked his arm with a new IV drop and his body was suddenly filled with a soft warmth. Changkyun welcomed the new warmth and let himself fall back asleep.

* * *

  
“Please let us see him?” Kihyun was on the verge of tears again. He had been released from the hospital three days ago, and he had spent every moment he could in the waiting room.

When he was released, he saw everyone waiting for them along with two strays they seemed to have picked up. The doctor came out shortly after and explained everything, telling them it would be best to go home and that the hospital will contact them if there were any changes.

Three days later, Kihyun was on the verge of storming through the hospital on his own to find Changkyun. All he knew was that the younger boy was awake and recovering. The doctors refused to disclose any more information because none of them were direct family. He even told them that Changkyun was his significant other but it was no use.

Bambam and Yugyeom ended up spending most of those three days with them. Jackson was still in a light coma from the beam that smashed into his head and the two boys were broken up from what they learned about their hyung. Minhyuk was doing his best to help them talk through their feelings and to get them to figure out what they were going to do once Jackson finally did wake up. Even Chan and Hansol had been spending hours on end in the waiting room with them, more often than not accompanied by several other boys at any given moment.

“Im Changkyun?” The receptionist clarified, knowing fully well who Kihyun was there to see. “Let me page his doctor.”

Kihyun tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the doctor to come down. He was so close to Changkyun, but it felt like there was a continent trying to separate them. After no more than five minutes, a young woman came walking through the doors with a tired smile.

“Ah, you must be Kihyun,” She said, shaking his hand. “Why don’t we sit?”

“How did you know my name?” Kihyun asked cautiously.

“Well, seeing how you’re the only thing Changkyun talks about it would be hard not to know you. I think all the nurses on the floor have fallen in love with you just by how Changkyun talks about you.”

“Can I see him? Please?” He hadn’t meant to cry, but he missed Changkyun so much. It had been almost five days since the fire, and it was the longest he had gone without any contact from the other boy since they met.

“Now, you know why he hasn’t been allowed visitors, right?” She asked him, and he nodded. One nurse or another explained that his burns made him weak to infections, and that to minimize that threat no one was allowed in but the doctor. “That being said, I think it would be okay if you went in for a little bit, but you have to disinfect first.”

“Please… please let me see him. I’ll do anything.” Kihyun said eagerly, ignoring the tears streaming down his face.

“Then, follow me. I can only give you maybe half an hour for now but if he continues to improve at this rate he should be up to regular visitors by the end of the week.”

“Thank you.” He wiped his face on his sleeves and followed the doctor.

“No, I should be thanking you,” She said as she led him through the special double doors that required a keycard to enter. “As a doctor, I want to see every single one of my patients recover. There were… several times when we thought we were going to lose Changkyun, but you seemed to be the one thing that kept him going. He’s alive because of you, Kihyun.”

Kihyun didn’t say anything. He let the doctor’s words sink in as he washed his arms and changed into the sterile clothing he was handed. When the doctor brought him to the unassuming hospital door, Kihyun thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

He pushed the door open and held his breath. His eyes instantly fixed on the bed, where a lump was sleeping under the blanket. At the sound of the door opening, the lump sat up and turned to look. Kihyun could barely hold back his gasp.

Changkyun’s face was slightly scarred, the skin red and shiny. His arms were in similar condition – at least, the parts of his arms that weren’t covered in thick bandages. He felt his throat close up at the sight of just how many bandages were wrapped around Changkyun’s body.

“Hyung…” Changkyun croaked out, his voice deeper than ever before. Kihyun rushed to his side, sitting on the chair like he was instructed. It took every ounce of will power not to throw himself onto the bed and hold Changkyun until Kihyun was sure the younger boy wasn’t going to disappear.

“Changkyun…” His tears dripped off his chin as he grinned at the boy in the bed. “I’ve… I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you…” Changkyun winced. Kihyun could tell it hurt him to talk.

“Hush baby,” he said warmly. “You don’t have to talk if it hurts. Hyung can do the talking for now. We stayed in the waiting room until the nurse had to kick us out and Minhyuk looked like he was going to punch one of them. Hoseok has been staying at the apartment for the past few days. He’s there for Hyungwon and Minhyuk, Jooheon and I have a running bet on how many bruises will be on his neck every morning,” Changkyun chuckled a little at that, the smile on his face melting away Kihyun’s fears for the moment. “So far, I’ve won every time. They always underestimate how much Hoseok hyung likes to bite.”

Kihyun talked for the half hour without taking a break. He could see how Changkyun was eating up the stories of their friends and Kihyun wanted to do anything to make his recovery a little better. When the half hour was up, the doctor stuck her head in and called for Kihyun with a sad smile. Kihyun bit back tears and turned to Changkyun.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, alright?” He said, watching Changkyun’s face screw up with tears. “I love you so much baby. Next time I come I’ll see if I can bring your favorite hoodie, okay?”

“Love you.” Changkyun said softly and Kihyun wanted to burst into tears. Instead, he kissed his finger tips and placed then gently against the bandages on Changkyun’s hand.

“I love you so much.” He said again before a nurse ushered him out.

He waited until he was back in the waiting room before sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what! Things are gonna get better soon, maybe.  
> If anyone had any questions or suggestions or just want to yell at me for hurting everyone, message me on twitter at 25boyfriends!


	9. Love Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i messed with the time line a little bit. I went back and changed the tests that Changkyun were taking before the fire. Now those were the midterms and finals are coming up. The whole time line is a little wonky in this but I'm trying to clear it up.

To say that Kihyun was nervous was an understatement. He was standing by the doors of the waiting room that he spent so many days in, waiting for Changkyun. After twenty nine days of being hospitalized, the younger boy was finally being released and Kihyun found himself sweating a little. Sure, he had been to see Changkyun every single day that he was allowed, but this was different. He was going to be able to take Changkyun home. He was going to be able to hold him without doctors and nurses coming in every two seconds.

Changkyun had been amazing in his recovery. Kihyun didn’t know how he did it, but the younger boy must have willed himself to heal faster. They put him in therapy to cope with the nightmares that kept the boy up most nights. Kihyun had only found out a week after they started happening, when Changkyun had slipped up about not sleeping well. The therapy seemed to be helping, but it one of the rare moments they had alone together, Changkyun admitted that he wasn’t talking about what happened at the club before the fire.

The police had taken a man into custody who they think started the fire, but they weren’t completely sure due to the man having an alibi. Whoever set the club on fire purposely blocked any emergency exits before creating the blaze, and the police still don’t have a motive for the man. Changkyun didn’t want to press charges even though everyone knew it was the same man. Kihyun, on the other hand, went to the station to see if the man was related to his break in at all. The officers had thanked him for his help and said they would keep him updated if there was any new information, but he hadn’t heard anything in almost a week and a half.

“Hyung?” A soft voice caught Kihyun’s attention. His head shot up and he thought he was going to start crying. Changkyun looked beautiful, as usual. He was wearing clothing that Kihyun had brought from home – soft jeans and an oversized hoodie with some random saying across the chest, exactly what Changkyun would have picked out for himself. His hair was slightly damp and hanging in his eyes, which were turned up from his smile. Kihyun could still see the faint shiny pink on his neck and hands, but compared to the first time he had seen the other boy, Changkyun had recovered 110% from his injuries.

“Changkyun,” Kihyun breathed before rushing forward and wrapping his arms around the boy’s shoulders, holding on as if he was about to disappear. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“You just saw me yesterday though,” He laughed, but hugged Kihyun back just as tightly. “I missed you too.”  
Kihyun was planning on keeping his cool when he went to pick Changkyun up. He planned the whole encounter in his head, and wasn’t going to freak out or do anything embarrassing. That was the plan anyway. As soon as Changkyun said he missed Kihyun, the writer’s eyes filled with tears and he lunged forward to press a frantic kiss to the younger boy’s lips. Changkyun didn’t hesitate to return the kiss eagerly. Kihyun lost himself in Changkyun’s lips. The boy tasted like home and sunshine and everything Kihyun needed to survive. He didn’t know when he started to cry, but when he pulled back he felt his cheeks were tacky. He instantly moved back in again to capture the younger’s smile. It wasn’t until someone behind them coughed that the two broke apart with a blush. Changkyun’s doctor was standing with her arms crossed and a sly smile on her face.

“Well, it looked like Changkyun doesn’t have any trouble with his mobility,” She said, smirking harder when Changkyun’s face turned even redder. “I just wanted to give some last minute advice. No strenuous activities, plenty of water and rest. If you feel like something isn’t right with your healing, go to your doctor or come back to us. Keep talking to a therapist if the nightmares continue. We can find you a list of therapists and counselors in your area if you’d like?” When Changkyun shook his head, her smile softened. “Changkyun, you’ve come so far, and I have to say I’m very proud of you. I wish we could have met under better circumstances, because you’re very charming young man. Now, go on. It looks like your boyfriend is itching to get you to himself.”

“I really am, but I’m also very grateful for you helping him,” Kihyun said as he bowed to her. “Thank you so much.”

“It was my pleasure to have such a good patient,” She smirked again and waved them away with her hands. “Now shoo, or the nurses are going to kick you out for PDA.”

“Thank you,” Changkyun said, bowing as well. “Goodbye!” The two boys took hands and left the hospital, giggling and chasing after each other to the bus stop. She watched them go with a fond smile, glad to see them truly reunited at last.

 

* * *

“Hyung? Can I ask you a weird question?” Changkyun asked carefully. He had a long day – Kihyun tricked him into getting into a taxi that was headed to Hyunwoo’s house rather than the apartment, where eighteen boys were waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. Everyone was passed out in various placed around the house, Jun cuddling with Minghao on the arm chair while Seungcheol, Joshua and Jeonghan slept on the couch. Jooheon, Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Chan and Vernon commandeered some extra blankets and made a small nest in one corner of the basement. It was surprising that everyone managed to find a place, seeing how many people came to surprise Changkyun. Minhyuk stayed with Hyunwoo and Hyungwon with Hoseok, which no one was surprised about. They had basically moved in with each other, alternating between the house and the apartment. Changkyun could hear people moving around in the kitchen downstairs and guessed it was probably Mingyu, Wonu, and Jihoon, who tended to stay up late because of the latter’s insomnia.

“What’s on your mind baby?” Kihyun asked, pulling Changkyun closer to him. Having the boy’s warmth back at his side made Kihyun feel almost high.

“Can… you call me a g-good boy?” He asked, sounding almost scared.

“Why all of a sudden? You didn’t seem to like it when I did it last time.” Kihyun didn’t know why his boyfriend was asking him that. He only wanted him to be comfortable, and he knew this would do the exact opposite.

“When you said it last time, I had flashbacks to when… the clients would call me that,” Changkyun shuddered and let Kihyun pull him even closer. “I don’t want them to have that power over me anymore. I figured if you said it, I could start associating it to you rather than… them.” He finished sourly, and Kihyun realized how hard it must have been for the boy in his arms to not only come to that conclusion, but to ask for his help.

“Of course Changkyun,” Kihyun blinked back tears. He brought his face close to Changkyun’s neck and spoke softly, making sure each word dripped with the raw love he felt for the younger. “Changkyun, my precious, beautiful Changkyun. I love you so much. You did so well in the hospital. I’m so proud of you. You’re such a good boy, and hyung loves you more than anything in this world.” Kihyun felt Changkyun tense when he said it.

“Again, please…” His voice sounded hoarse. Kihyun moved so he could see Changkyun’s face full on. He began peppering soft kisses along his nose and cheeks.

“You’re such a good boy Changkyun,” He said, the kisses he left on Changkyun’s skin barely whispers of contact. “I love you so much. You’re such a good boy and I’m so proud of you.”

“S-stop,” Changkyun said shakily. “That’s… thank you. I don’t think I can handle any more tonight but thank you…”

“I’ll do anything for you Changkyun,” Kihyun confessed, pressing a kiss to the corner of the younger boy’s mouth. “Anything you need from me is yours. I’ll help you through this love. You won’t have anything connected to those people. It’ll just be me and you and Minhyuk, and Jooheon and Hyungwon, okay? Us and Hyunwoo and Hoseok. It’ll be like a real family, just you see.”

“Thank you…” Changkyun cried into Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun wrapped his arms around the younger boy and thanked whatever god was listening for bringing Changkyun into his life.

“No, thank you,” Kihyun whispered into his hair. “For letting me love you.”

Changkyun had fallen asleep, but Kihyun knew the younger boy would have argued. With a fond smile, Kihyun kissed the top of his head and tugged the blanket over them before falling into the first fitful night’s sleep he’s had in twenty nine days.

* * *

  
“So what’s the deal with classes?” Hoseok asked one morning, a few days after Changkyun had been released from the hospital. Hoseok was at the apartment that week, half of Hyungwon’s room unofficially turned into his. Changkyun looked up from the breakfast he was slowly picking at. His appetite hadn’t improved much since coming home, and it was starting to worry the others.

“I don’t really know,” He said truthfully. “I emailed my professors, but I missed a lot. Even with Cheol taking notes for me I don’t think I could make up the missed assignments…”

“Have any of them gotten back to you yet?” Hoseok sat across from Changkyun with his own breakfast. Everyone was out that morning, each dealing with one thing or the next. It was almost surreal how easily Hoseok had become a member of the apartment.

“My psychology professor and my biology lab professor, but that’s it so far.” Changkyun slumped in his seat. He was still healing, so the tender skin itched as he moved around – yet another thing to make him irritated.

“Well? What did they say?”

“My psychology professor said I could still pass if I managed to do the online homework and pull at least a B on the final. My lab professor basically said it was impossible to make up what I missed, but she could make it so I don’t get an F on my transcript as long as I retake the course next semester.” Changkyun frowned. He loved biology, but having to retake a class that was already boringly easy made him want to rip his hair out.

“Well, that’s one good thing, right?” Hoseok offered a warm smile that Changkyun couldn’t help but return. “And if there are any problems, I’m sure we can think of something. You’re a bright kid, there’s no way you won’t be able to overcome thing.”

“Ah, hyung…” Changkyun whined but smiled into his breakfast nonetheless.

“Seriously. When Kihyun started talking about you, I thought you were too good to be true. He was so whipped from the start. Now I see he wasn’t lying all that much,” He winked and shot the younger boy a good natured smile. “You two are perfect for each other.”

“I really love him,” Changkyun blushed but smiled nonetheless. “I… I don’t think I could live without him.”

“Ah, well that’s young love for you.” He laughed again, causing Changkyun to blush harder.

“W-well, what about you and Hyungwon hyung?” He challenged, feeling accomplished when Hoseok flushed as well. “You two seem to be getting really close.”

“Yeah, well…” He trailed off, his cheeks red hot enough to fry and egg on.

“You love him.” Changkyun observed. Hoseok smiled turned soft and mushy, his eyes glazing over a little.

“I do.” He agreed, biting his bottom lip.

“Have you told him?” Changkyun challenged. Hoseok instantly frowned, looking like he was going to cry.

“No…” he ran his fingers along the rim of his mug sadly. “I… don’t want to scare him off.”

“Why would you scare him off? He’s obviously I love with you too.”

“You think so?” Hoseok asked with a half-smile before his face fell again. “He… told me a little about himself, and I don’t want to be another ex in his life that fucks him over. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I’d rather gnaw off my arm than hurt him…”

“I think that proves you wouldn’t hurt him.”

“I love him so much,” Hoseok’s voice wavered a little. “I love how his hair sticks up everywhere when he wakes up and I love how he zones out at random times and doesn’t realize he’s doing it. I love his iced coffee addiction and I love how petty he can be. I love how he dances so gracefully even though he’s nothing but leg. I love his dumb smile and how he burns water trying to boil it…”

“You should be telling him this,” Changkyun felt himself tear up a little at Hoseok’s confession. If Kihyun sounded even a fraction as in love as Hoseok did when the writer talked about him, Changkyun was going to bawl. “I think he’d have a pretty positive reaction.”

“You think?” he asked, biting his lip again. “Maybe one day… when I’m ready.”

“Hyung, fighting.” Changkyun grinned and put up his hand. Hoseok took the younger boy’s hand in his and shook it in the air, like a victory celebration. Both of them felt light as air that day.

* * *

  
“Baby? Please, just look at me?” Kihyun sat on the edge of Changkyun’s bed, trying to keep the tears out of his voice. Changkyun had been home for almost a month, and he hasn’t left his bed in three days. For some unknown reason, the youngest curled up under his blankets and refused to talk to even acknowledge anyone. “Changkyun, please.”

“Go away.” His voice was rough from not being used, but it was progress that made Kihyun’s heart jump to his throat.

“Changkyunnie, what’s going on? Please talk to me…”

“Go away hyung.” He said, pulling the blanket tighter around him. Kihyun sighed and went to stand, as he did the past three days, when he stopped. He had tried giving Changkyun his space. He had tried being understanding, but this was too much.

Kihyun stood, but just so he could lean over and rip the blanket away from Changkyun, who clung onto the fabric like his life depended on it. When the blanket was out of the younger’s grip, Kihyun threw it across the room where it was out of reach and crawled onto the bed, pulling Changkyun into his arms.  
Changkyun fought him, wriggling and trying to shake him off but Kihyun refused to let go. He waited until the younger boy calmed down before trying to say anything. After a few minutes, the struggling faded to Changkyun crying into his shoulder.

“Changkyun, my beautiful Changkyun, please. What’s wrong?” Kihyun tried again, placing soft kisses to his hairline.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Changkyun choked out.

“Do what sweetheart?” He asked softly, hating the way Changkyun trembled in his arms.

“I can go out there and see everyone… I can’t see the scars on them… it’s all my fault hyung. It’s all my fault…” He broke into sobs again and Kihyun felt his heart break. He knew everyone involved in the fire had some sort of physical reminders of it. Minhyuk had a shiny scar across the back of his hand from when he tried testing a door. Jooheon was hit by a beam and had an angry red line down his back that peeked through the collar of his shirt. Hyungwon had small speckles along his neck and cheek from where embers and ash had stuck to his skin. Even Kihyun had burn scars along his arms, but none of them blamed Changkyun.

How could any of them blame Changkyun?

“It’s all my fault,” He wailed. “It hurts so badly… it hurts hyung. I wake up and I feel like I’m on fire again. Everything feels like it’s burning and I’m scared of going out because everyone will blame me and h-hate me.”

“Hey, you’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you ever again,” Kihyun gently rubbed Changkyun’s back, making sure not to press too hard. Although he was mostly healed, the older boy knew the new skin would still be sensitive. “No one blames you. Changkyun, you saved my life. You saved Hansol and Chan, who have been by twice already asking for you. No one could ever blame you. Especially not for this. We’re just so fucking happy you’re alive. We love you so much.”

Changkyun couldn’t respond through his renewed sobs. Kihyun held his boyfriend as he cried, his heart aching but also happy that he was finally opening up to him. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually there was a knock from the door. Changkyun tensed in his arms, but when Minhyuk’s voice called he relaxed some.

“Changkyunnie? I know you’re hungry… I wanted to make something special and I know you spent some time in the states… I tried making some American food for you. I don’t know how well it came out but Hyungwon is about to eat it all.”

“You wanna go have some dinner? You haven’t eaten much in the last few days, have you?” Kihyun kissed Changkyun’s forehead again and the boy slowly nodded. Kihyun smiled and moved so he could sit up and wipe his face with the back of his hand. Changkyun was still healing, and seeing the taunt pink where smooth tan used to be made Kihyun’s breath catch but he would have done anything just to have Changkyun in his arms like that forever. When Changkyun was standing, Kihyun took the discarded blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders. He gave the boy a warm smile. “I’m so proud of you Changkyunnie. You’re such a good boy.”

Changkyun closed his eyes, took a deep breath and smiled at Kihyun.

“Thank you,” He said quietly before they left the room. “For not getting mad at me…”

“Why would I get mad at you?” Kihyun was genuinely confused.

“For staying in bed for days and telling you to go away,” His eyes filled with tears again. “Sometimes it just gets so hard to get out of bed and… it wouldn’t be the first time someone got tired of me being depressed and got mad… so thank you.”

“Changkyun, you don’t have to thank me,” Kihyun stopped and spun Changkyun so the two were face to face. “I love you, and I would do anything for you. If that means sitting by your side for three days until you can get out of bed again, then I’ll gladly do that.”

“I love you.” Changkyun sniffled, burying his face in Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun just held him close, treasuring his warmth and the steadiness of his heartbeat.

“Hurry up! Stop fuckin in the hall. I’m about to pass out over here!” Hyungwon called from the kitchen and Changkyun heard several voices laugh. He flushed bright red but managed a chuckle. Kihyun smirked and shouted back.

“Maybe next time Hoseok should keep that gag on you. It’ll be nice to have some peace and quiet around here.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW-?” Hyungwon’s screech was cut off by everyone screech laughing. Changkyun smiled and actually let out a real laugh of his own.

They entered the kitchen and Changkyun felt like he was going to cry again. The small table was packed with at least a dozen different dishes, some normal foods that they eat all the time and others a good attempt at more Americanized dishes. The counter was a mess, and Changkyun thought he saw cheese sauce smeared on the wall behind the stove. The sink was piled high with dirty dishes, and there was barely any room to stand because of the five other bodies shoved into the small space of the kitchen.

It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end yet! I still have a few more ideas, so look forward to it!  
> I'd like to say thanks to everyone who continues to support this fic. Your comments and love literally keep me going. I actually screenshotted some on my phone so I could keep them.  
> I just wrote a VIXX oneshot as a vent fic, and there I mentioned I might make a hurt/comfort series of oneshots from various bands if I managed to write enough. If anyone has any suggestions for plots, let me know! I've already gotten one suggestion for a Got7 or Seventeen fic. I don't stan Got7 but I'm already thinking of what I can do for a seventeen one! Let me know if anyone has any ideas!


	10. Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most shameless smut for my dear friend Rebecca, who is having a not so great time right now. Hope you enjoy it ;3

Changkyun sat on the couch, two seconds away from stabbing himself with the spoon from his ice cream. Even though he had been released more than two months ago, his friends insisted on keeping him prisoner in the apartment. He was allowed to go out, as per his doctor, as long as he covered the healing burns. All that meant was long sleeves and a hat or something. The others, on the other hand, still treated him as though he was made of glass, and he was tired of it.

He wanted to go out for a walk. He wanted to visit Kihyun. He wanted to go to the game nights at Hyunwoo’s and meet his friends from school when they invited him out. Hell, he wanted to go back to class. Anything that wasn’t sitting on the couch, mindlessly watching Netflix.

Sighing, he stood and stretched, wincing as some of the scabs and new skin tugged with the movement. He was definitely healing, but it was slow work. Thankfully, his doctor gave him a cream to soothe the sensitive skin, and it was working wonders. Changkyun looked around the empty apartment, wondering what he could do to distract himself.  
The others had all gone to find new jobs already. Kihyun was starting to move back into his apartment – he felt guilty sharing a bed with Changkyun, who was in so much pain. Hyungwon was a waiter at a small café down the street. Minhyuk was a cashier at the fabrics and craft store. Jooheon found a position as a host at the big diner in town. They all seemed to be enjoying their jobs, but Changkyun could tell there was something missing. Sure, it was more wholesome than working at the club, but he saw how… bored they looked.

He glanced at the doors to the other rooms and sighed. He had already snooped through everyone’s rooms, looking for blackmail material. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a lot that he could use as ammunition. Minhyuk’s room had a lot of women’s lingerie in the closet, but even Changkyun was guilty of owning a few pieces that were silky and lacy. They made him feel sexy. Jooheon had some weed stashed under his bed, but Changkyun could tell it was old – mainly because the other boy always shared when he smoked and he hadn’t offered in a long time. He found several things in Hyungwon’s room, but he was also smart enough to know it was more likely Hoseok’s than Hyungwon’s – the gags and whips and ropes. Changkyun took mental note, to see if Kihyun would be interested later on.

Changkyun made his way to the kitchen. He had rearrange the cabinets not once, but three times since his house arrest started, putting the glasses where the plates were and the plates on the top shelf where only Hyungwon could reach without a chair. At first, he wanted to irritate the others, but eventually it just became something to pass the time. He decided to make himself some lunch, something he had gotten quite good at since being trapped.

He dug through the fridge and pulled out random things, wondering what he could make with them. He thought about an omelet and started whisking the eggs, letting his mind wander as he worked. He thought of a similar situation, but instead of making himself food he was making breakfast for him and Kihyun.

They had an apartment together- no, a house. Like Hyunwoo. Kihyun wrote in the study and Changkyun worked as a scientist, or maybe a doctor. They lived together and shared a room. Kihyun tried to keep their clothing in the closet separated, but Changkyun always mixed it up, just to see his husband shake his head. They were married in the spring- no, summer, in a big field with a huge tent and fairy lights strung on every surface. Hoseok cried and Kihyun cried and Changkyun cried but no one was sad. They danced under the stars until the sun started to rise and only then did they run away from the wedding like a couple of teenagers. They honeymooned somewhere warm, probably somewhere tropical. The sand was soft between his toes and the bed was never neatly made because of how often he and Kihyun were on it. Changkyun would wake up before Kihyun every morning and kiss his nose, smiling at how the older boy would scrunch up his face a little in his sleep. He would leave short notes around the house in the most random places – inside of shoes and under the milk and tucked in the pocket of Kihyun’s jacket. Sometimes it would take weeks for the writer to find them, and he would keep every one of them in a small box.

“Damnit!” Changkyun cried out as he tried to flip the omelet and completely broke the egg pancake he was trying to make. He stared at the ruined omelet and sighed before trying to salvage his meal. He broke the eggs up in a poor excuse of scrambled eggs and threw a handful of cheese on top. As a final thought, he threw some turkey on top and let the cheese melt as he fell back into his day dream.

He would make Kihyun breakfast every day, no matter how early he had to wake up. He would lasso the moon if it meant seeing the brightest smile to ever bless his life.

Changkyun slid the mess onto a plate and left the pan on the stove to let it cool. He made his way back to the couch and cuddled back up in the small nest the others had made for him before they left for the day. He settled down and began eating, not noticing the tears running down his face.

His chest hurt at the thought of making a life with Kihyun, and he didn’t know how he could possibly miss something he never really had.

* * *

  
“Kyunnie? Are you okay?” Kihyun felt Changkyun grab his sleeve. Ever since he came home, the older boy would wait until he was asleep before going to sleep on the couch. Kihyun felt bad sleeping in the same bed as Changkyun, mainly because any small movement he made could potentially hurt his boyfriend. He had explained his reasoning several times, but the younger boy still pouted every time Kihyun left the room.

“Stay, please?” Changkyun sounded so sad, and Kihyun wanted nothing more than to bend to Changkyun’s every whim.

“I can’t love, not until you’re fully healed.” He said for probably the hundredth time that week.

“You said you won’t sleep in the same bed as me,” Changkyun said, a hint of mischief to his voice. Kihyun nodded slowly, not sure where the younger boy was going. “Well… what if I don’t want to sleep?”

“What- what would you want to do?” Kihyun stuttered, already feeling flushed at what his boyfriend was suggesting. It had been almost three months since they slept together – three months since they’ve done anything remotely sexual, other than kissing.

“I want to feel hyung inside of me,” Changkyun grinned when he saw Kihyun flush bright red. “Please? I know you’ll be gentle.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” He trailed off, gulping loudly. His logic was only going to hold out for a little while longer before it’s completely taken over by instinct.

“I’ve been thinking,” Changkyun kneeled on the bed, letting his sleep shirt fall off his shoulder a little. Kihyun’s heart skipped a beat. “You’re going to say no because you’re afraid you’re going to hurt me. What if I told you I thought of a way that won’t hurt me?”

“…” Kihyun licked his lips, eyes trained on how Changkyun’s back arched. He was suddenly far too warm.

“Can I show you?” the younger boy purred, beckoning Kihyun closer. “Can I show hyung what I thought of?”

“And it’s not going to hurt you?” Kihyun’s throat was dry as a desert. Changkyun’s grin grew even wider and he pushed his boyfriend onto the bed.

“I promise I’ll be okay.” He surged forward to capture Kihyun’s lips. The writer eagerly returned the kiss, pushing Changkyun back a little with his eagerness. They fought for dominance for a moment, each wanting to be the one to make the other moan first. Kihyun was the one to cave – whining into the kiss and letting Changkyun slip his tongue into his mouth. Waiting had been absolute hell, but in that moment it was worth it. He had almost forgotten how sweet and warm Kihyun’s mouth was against his own.

Changkyun gently pushed Kihyun onto his back and straddled his hips, taking advantage of the new position to run his hand along the older boy’s chest, making him moan breathlessly. Changkyun’s hips bucked forward, trying to coax out more of the sounds he had missed so much. When he was satisfied by Kihyun’s growling cries, Changkyun slid off the older boy’s lap and began taking off his clothes carefully. Kihyun shot upwards and frantically copied the action.

Kihyun stared at Changkyun in awe. He had been beautiful before, his golden skin seeming to glow. Now, he looked… magical. The skin of his arms and chest was still pinkish, and Kihyun knew it would be that way in some degree for the rest of his life. Despite everything that had happened – with Jackson, the clients, the fire – despite all the awful things life threw at Changkyun, he was still alive and he was still as breathtaking as the day Kihyun first laid eyes on him.

“W-wait-” Kihyun gasped as Changkyun took him in his mouth in one go, the tip of his dick hitting the back of the younger boy’s throat instantly. Any hesitations instantly felt Kihyun’s head as he got lost in the heat of Changkyun’s mouth. Changkyun could feel Kihyun tremble on his tongue and smirked, humming deeply as he swallowed around his cock. Kihyun threw his head back as his knees almost gave out.

Changkyun pulled off with a pop and licked his lips as he pushed Kihyun back on the bed. Kihyun could do nothing but let Changkyun move him around like a doll. It had been so long since he felt the younger boy’s fingers trailing against his burning skin, since he felt Changkyun’s breath hot against his neck, since his cock had been so lovingly swallowed by the other. Changkyun straddled Kihyun again and pulled something out from under his pillow. Kihyun instantly recognized the small square and some of his sanity came crawling back.

“Kyunnie…” He panted, staring up at Changkyun with glazed eyes. “I didn’t p-prep you at all.”

“I did that already,” Changkyun said huskily, gently biting up Kihyun’s jaw. His words went straight to the writer’s dick and he couldn’t stop the image of his Changkyun fingering himself just before he had come in. Kihyun’s hips jerked up, bare skin smacking the curve of Changkyun’s ass. The younger boy closed his eyes and let out a low moan, which just fueled Kihyun more. “I wanted hyung inside me as fast as possible.”

“Youre gonna be the death of me,” He growled, grabbing Changkyun’s ass with his hands. “My baby boy, so eager for hyung’s cock that he fucked himself on his fingers. Am I right?”

“Yes,” Changkyun mewled, and Kihyun was caught off guard for a moment. Hearing something so submissive spilling from his boyfriend’s kiss swollen lips - in his deep, lust filled voice – sparked something primal in Kihyun’s mind. “I missed hyung inside of me.”

“Such a good boy,” Kihyun said thickly, caressing Changkyun’s skin where he knew it would drive the younger crazy. Changkyun preened at the praise, the phrase no longer associated with bad memories – now all he knew was Kihyun, and how he was loved. “My beautiful Changkyun. My strong, brave hero. I love you so much.” He kept murmuring into Changkyun’s lips, his hair, his neck. Changkyun worked the condom onto Kihyun and straddled him again. Kihyun’s eyes flew open when he realized what his boyfriend had planned.

Changkyun slowly lowered himself onto Kihyun, letting his dick stretch him out better than his own fingers ever could. He had missed feeling that burn, the feeling of being filled to the brim. He couldn’t hold back a sobbing moan as he felt himself sit completely down. Kihyun closed his eyes and panted, almost as if he was in pain. Changkyun carefully pulled himself off and smiled at the whine that followed. He slammed back down, and Kihyun’s eyes flew open.

He set a steady pace, not too fast or rough. As much as Changkyun missed Kihyun pounding into him fast and rough, he wanted to savor this. He wanted to remember this for a long time. As he moved his hips, he leaned forward and kissed Kihyun softly, in awe at how perfectly the older boy’s lips fit against his own – as if they had been made to press against Changkyun’s.

Kihyun wrapped his arms around Changkyun, the feeling of sweat sticking their skin together not bothering him at all. He wanted his Changkyun to be as close to him as possible. Without meaning to, he started to meet Changkyun half way, his hips thrusting up as Kyun’s were coming down. He tried to be careful, but from the sounds spilling from Changkyun, Kihyun knew he didn’t want the writer to stop.

“Ah, Kihyun,” Changkyun moaned. Kihyun loved watching his hair bounce as he rode him. He glanced down and saw Changkyun’s length bouncing as well, the tip glistening with precum as he continued to impale himself. “Ah, I think… I think I’m getting c-close.”

“Let me help you baby,” Kihyun hummed, taking Changkyun in his hand and hitting that spot inside the younger just right. “Cum for me baby boy. I want to hear you scream.” He commanded, feeling Changkyun twitch in his fingers.

Within seconds, Kihyun’s hand was coated in Changkyun’s orgasm as the younger moaned loudly. He reached his own suddenly, thrusting into the warmth of his boyfriend without warning and calling out his name. Both collapsed onto the bed, panting and smiling.

“See, I told you it would be okay,” Changkyun said softly as he reached to kiss every inch of Kihyun’s face. “I’m okay.”

“God I love you,” Kihyun kissed him back, lacing his hand through Changkyun’s hair. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” Changkyun giggled and Kihyun thought nothing sounded sweeter. “I haven’t even gotten myself off since the fire… that was mindblowing.”

“I tried once or twice,” Kihyun said in between kisses. “But it never, ever compares to you.”

“Hyung?” He sounded on the verge of laughter. Kihyun just hummed and kept kissing his jaw, his neck, his lips, waiting for Changkyun’s question. “Are you rubbing cum in my hair?” He asked innocently and Kihyun instantly pulled away.

With a horrified expression, he realized the hand he had been gently tugging on Changkyun’s hair with was the one the younger had covered just moments before.

“Oh my god Changkyun I’m so sorry-” Kihyun was mortified but Changkyun just laughed.

“Come on, you owe me a shower,” He stood, not bothering to cover himself. He knew the apartment was empty. “If you’re up to another round that is.”

Changkyun winked and sauntered from the room, and Kihyun had never run faster in his life.

* * *

  
“I love you.” Changkyun said warmly. Kihyun was holding him carefully against his chest, listening to the younger’s heartbeat. He had started doing that when Changkyun was still in the hospital, partially to calm himself down and partially to prove to his anxieties that the younger boy was okay – that Changkyun was still alive.

“I love you so much.” Kihyun’s nose nudged Changkyun’s cheek and the younger turned his face to kiss him.

“Have you ever thought…?” Changkyun trailed off, getting lost in a kiss.

“Thought about what?” Kihyun prompted, a little breathlessly.

“About the future,” Changkyun said, sounding a little unsure. “About what’s going to happen after this apartment? About… getting a house maybe… and a cat…”

“About making a future together?” Kihyun felt the back of his throat sting. Of course he had thought about it. Mostly when Changkyun was in the hospital – mostly as what he might have lost. He felt Changkyun nod his head carefully.

“Yeah… about that.” He said quietly, almost as if he was expecting to be rejected. Kihyun pulled him closer and let a tear slip down his cheek.

“I have…” He said, smiling into Changkyun’s hair. He felt the younger jerk a little in surprise and his heart grew warm. “I think it would be… perfect.”

“Me too.” Changkyun let Kihyun’s warmth soak deep into his bones and smiled.

“Go to sleep love, you must be exhausted.” Kihyun’s voice drifted through his half-conscious mind. Changkyun snuggled deeper into Kihyun’s embrace and sighed contentedly.

This, Changkyun realized, was what it meant to truly be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be a little different. As of right now I have two more chapters already planned out but I don't want it to end there. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions please let me know! I love incorporating the ideas of others into my fics.


	11. Jooheon

“Welcome! How many?” Jooheon smiled at the family that had walked in. The father smiled and held up five fingers. “Alright, follow me.”

  
He led the family to a booth near the middle of the diner. He knew it was Taehyung’s section, and he knew the waiter would be ecstatic to see the three small children that were bouncing in their seats already. He nodded to the boy in question, who shot him a boxy grin before going to take the family’s drink order. As expected, his whole face lit up at the sight of the kids, and he started bouncing from foot to foot. Jooheon smiled, for the hundredth time since starting his job thinking that Taehyung would make an amazing father one day.

Seeing another couple waiting to be seated, he placed a smile back on his face and went to greet them. It was obvious they were a new couple, and Jooheon would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel a little jealous of the two. Back in the apartment, it was starting to look like he was going to be the only single one left. Changkyun had Kihyun, Hyungwon was almost never seen without Hoseok, and Minhyuk was starting to spend more and more time with Hyunwoo. Biting back his bitter expression, he led the two towards a smaller table in the back, where they wouldn’t be disturbed. They thanked him as they started looking at the menus.

He was on his way back to the front again when he heard clapping. Looking to his left, he saw the family of five cheering as Taehyung brought out a cupcake with a candle for the oldest child. They started singing the birthday song, but Jooheon couldn’t hear the cheesy lyrics through the ringing in his ears. He stared at the fire, his blood running cold.

Suddenly, he was too hot. There was fire all around him. He tried to escape, but he kept running into something right at hip level. He sobbed, trying to run. He needed to get out. He was going to die, he was going to die he was going to-

Cool hands were on his face. He felt tiles beneath his fingers as he sobbed in fear. A voice began whispering to him, trying to calm him. After a few moments of panicked breathing, Jooheon realized it wasn’t hot. He wasn’t burning.

He looked up through his tears and saw Taehyung crouching next to him, whispering comforts as other staff tried to see what was happening. The owner of the diner came bursting through the doors, looking worried.

“Jooheon? Are you alright? What happened?” Jin frantically questioned, his hands hovering around Jooheon’s body. The boy took a deep breath and wipe his face with a napkin someone handed him.

“I’m sorry…” His voice wavered and everyone around him looked even more concerned. “I… I saw the fire and… Bad m-memories…” He whispered, shutting his eyes tights and trying to stop the tears that were still trying to work their way down his cheeks.

“Wait, Jooheon where you involved with the fire that happened at that strip club a little while back?” Jin looked horrified. Jooheon managed a small nod.

“I was security there,” He said softly, his throat burning with phantom smoke. “I barely made it out, but my friend went back in for his boyfriend… I tried to follow but a beam hit my back hard enough to knock me out… I’ve been trying not to think about it but seeing the fire just now…” He trailed off and Jin nodded in understanding.

“My husband was at a convenience store when it was robbed, a few years back,” He said as he rubbed Jooheon’s back carefully. He could feel what he could only assume was a scar left from the fire under the thin uniform shirt and his stomach dropped. Jooheon was far too young to be faced with so many bad memories, he thought to himself. “The robbers shot the cashier when Joonie was about to pay. No one was killed, thankfully, but he had nightmares for months. We tried watching a movie and the sound of a gunshot made him have a panic attack in the theater. He’s still antsy sometimes, and I can tell he tries to hide it from me, but he went through something traumatic and I still love him, no matter what we go through. It’s understandable that you’re still going through some things because of this Jooheon. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Why don’t you take a few days off? I’m sure Tae won’t mind stepping up to host for a bit.”

“Jin-ssi I can’t take time off I need to pay rent-” He babbled, not wanting to be a burden. Jin silenced him with a look.

“Your health comes first, okay? I can give you a partially paid leave. Go home. Get some rest. I’ll see if Joonie can whip up some food and bring it over? He’s been trying new recipes so I can’t guarantee it’ll be edible, but I know he’ll feel better being able to help. I know I’d feel better too.”

“Thank you…” Jooheon’s voice cracked. Jackson had never, ever, cared about his employees even a fraction of how much Jin did. Jooheon had never had a job where someone – let alone his boss – offered to do something so thoughtful. “I’m so sorry… I probably caused a lot of trouble.”

“The customers are just worried,” Jin stood and took Jooheon’s hand to help the boy stand as well. His knees almost gave out, but Jin was there to catch him. “That’s one thing I pride myself on here. We don’t like rude customers coming back, and the ones that do are compassionate to a fault. That’s one reason our fundraisers always double our goal.” Jin winked and Jooheon chuckled.

“Thank you again.” He said as he and Jin waited for Hyunwoo. It took all of two seconds for the older man to respond to Jooheon’s ‘something happened at work can you pick me up’ text, and less than five minutes before he was pulling up in his now familiar car. Minhyuk bolted from the passenger seat and instantly gathered the younger boy into his arms.

“Jooheon-ah what happened?” He asked, his heart dropping at the tear tracks on the boy’s face. Jin stepped in and explained, much to Jooheon’s relief.

“He had a panic attack,” He said, his voice showing just as much concern as his face. “I’d honestly suggest finding someone who specializes in PTSD. Not just for him, but for everyone involved in that fire. He mentioned something about his friend going back in… I know how hard it can be to watch a loved one go through something traumatic. I can give you a suggestion, if you’d like. My husband went to her after his… incident. She’s really helped him cope with everything.”

“Thank you,” Minhyuk bowed. When Hyunwoo came around and placed a hand on his hip, the smaller boy leaned into his touch. “I think it might be a good idea. Especially for Kyunnie and Jooheonie… they’re the youngest after all.”

“I texted Joonie to make some food for you. When we drop it off, I can give you her information?” Jin suggested, smiling at the shocked look on the three boy’s faces.

“You really don’t have to go to all the trouble-” Jooheon tried to say. Jin cut him off with the wave of a hand.

“You’re not just an employee Jooheon,” He said with a smile. “I hand pick my staff for a reason. I consider everyone here family, more so than my own family. Your address is the same from your application, right?”

“Yes sir.” He said softly, looking at his feet.

“Perfect. We’ll try to stop by after the diner closes, alright? Take care Jooheon. You’re very important to the people around you.” Jin gave the boy a tight hug before releasing him to the care of his friends. Minhyuk fussed over him the entire way home, and as much as Jooheon was happy that his hyung care, he just wanted to go to sleep.

“Hyung, you’re home early…” Changkyun said carefully as the three entered the apartment. He was still snug in his little cocoon, his face pink and eyes glassy from whatever drama was playing.

“Can I sit with you?” His voice was still scratchy from crying and Changkyun instantly moved over, making room on the couch. Jooheon curled up into Changkyun’s side and let his best friend pull him into a hug.

“What happened Honey?” Changkyun asked, using the old nickname the younger had given him way back in middle school. He hated it at first, because even though Heonnie sounded like honey, it sparked dating rumors. The rumors went away when they actually did date, just for a year in high school. By the time they graduated, Jooheon came to treasure the name.

“I saw fire at work and freaked out,” He whispered, feeling ashamed of his reaction. “I felt like I was burning again and I tried to run. I think I smashed into a few tables? I think I might have blacked out for a few seconds cuz the next thing I knew I was in the kitchens. Jin talked me through it and gave me a few days off. Him and his husband are going to stop by with food later apparently…”

“Oh honey…” Changkyun buried his face in Jooheon’s hair and let the older boy tremble in his arms. “You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

“It’s weird, having a boss care about me this much,” Jooheon said softly. Changkyun nodded, understanding his friend’s confusion. “It’s weird… having an adult care so much. Hyunwoo and Hoseok are different. They’re only, what? Twenty five? Jin is in his thirties with a husband. He’s an adult adult. I don’t know how to feel…”

Changkyun knew all about Jooheon’s family. How could he not when they had been friends for close to a decade? He knew about his father’s distance and his mother’s neglect. He knew how the teachers growing up always saw him as a danger because his eyes looked just a little too sharp to be trusted and how he always started fights to protect Changkyun. The younger boy knew how his friend didn’t trust adults, so for him to speak so highly of this Jin character when he came back from his interview, Changkyun didn’t know how to react.

They sat there for hours, losing themselves in whatever show was autoplaying on Netflix. When there was a knock at the door, everyone tensed. Hyunwoo was the first to move, opening the door to show Jin and a taller man carrying several Tupperware containers.

“Hello,” Jin smiled as they entered the apartment. “We didn’t know how many people lived with Jooheonie so we made enough for ten. I hope that’s going to be enough.”

“Thank you for taking care of Jooheon.” Minhyuk said, taking the containers from their guests and placing them on the counters and table.

“I wish there was more I could do to help honestly,” Jin’s voice was soft, just loud enough for Minhyuk to hear. “I could tell there was something dark following Jooheon, but I never would have thought… I can’t even imagine what sort of things he saw, even before the fire.”

“Well, he took good care of us,” Minhyuk said flippantly. “Without him, we would have had a much harder time.”

“Us?” The taller man – who Jin had introduced as Namjoon – asked. Minhyuk commended him for being so sharp.

“Changkyun – the other boy on the couch – our roommate Hyungwon and myself. We were all dancers at the club before it burnt down. Jooheon saved my life that night. I thought I was going to lose them…” He trailed off, his throat closing tightly.

“He’s an amazing kid,” Jin smiled, taking this new information much better than Minhyuk had thought he would. “I’ve already told him, but I’m giving him a few days off to recover. I can’t comp his tips, but I can give him his normal pay for the shifts he would have worked.”

“You can do that?” Minhyuk asked before he could think of how childish it sounded. Jin just chuckled.

“I do own the diner,” He said through his laughter. “I can do whatever I want, if I’m being completely honest.”

“Thank you.” Minhyuk hadn’t meant to tear up, but he couldn’t help it. Before the fire, he worried about the younger members of the apartment. After the fire, that worry expanded tenfold. He was constantly working himself into a panic when one of them came home ten minutes later than they should, because all he could think of was fire and blood and losing someone he loved.

“Where are your plates?” Namjoon asked, unknowingly breaking the tension.

“I don’t actually know,” Minhyuk shook his head with a smile. He called over to Changkyun, who was making faces at the show. “Where did you put the plates this time?”

“They’re in the pantry.” He called back without taking his eyes off the tv and Minhyuk couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“He’s been doing this thing where he rearranges the entire apartment because he’s bored and wants to bother us for putting him on house arrest.” He explained as he pulled out the plates from behind the half empty chip bags.

“Sounds like something Kookie would do,” Namjoon snickered. “Jin’s brother is a card. Maybe him and Changkyun would get along.”

“What’s that smell?” Hyungwon made his way into the kitchen, Hoseok following behind him. They eyed the containers with hungry expressions and Jin laughed.

“We made dinner,” Jin said with a smile. The two instantly relaxed, Hoseok more than Hyungwon. Minhyuk noted that Jin seemed to have that sort of effect on people. “And we wanted to give you some resources to help Jooheon.”

“Jooheon? Did something happen?” Hyungwon’s eyebrows met in concern.

“Just a little incident at work,” Jin assured. “From the looks of things, he’s doing much better. I gave him the next few days off and we brought the number of the PTSD specialist that Joonie went to.” He held out a piece of paper with several lines of writing. Hyungwon caught a glimpse of a phone number and address before the paper was handed to Minhyuk.

Hyungwon looked at Jin with a guarded expression. He was never that good at trusting strangers. The only reason he opened up to Minhyuk was because the older boy was relentless in his quest to befriend him. The only reason he let Jooheon and Changkyun in was because Minhyuk liked them, and therefore friends because any friend of

Minhyuk’s was a friend of his, whether he liked it or not. It took a while to accept Kihyun, and he only did because he saw how happy he made his youngest friend. He accepted Hoseok because, like Minhyuk, he was relentless. What was supposed to be a fling at a party turned into so much more than he ever expected. Hyunwoo was like Kihyun – only accepted because he made his friend happy. Jin and Namjoon didn’t fit into any of those categories. Not only that, but after the fire Hyungwon became a thousand times more protective of his friends, and seeing two new faces put him on edge.

“I can tell you don’t trust me.” Jin said easily once everyone had helped themselves and had gone to find seating somewhere in the small apartment. It was just him and Hyungwon in the kitchen, and the taller boy jumped at the accusation.

“I…” Hyungwon didn’t know how to defend himself. He had no reason to distrust this man. In fact, he had more reason to trust him than not.

“It’s fine,” Jin said as he sipped his drink. “It’s actually pretty understandable. When the thing with Joonie happened, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight for months. I still have bursts of over protectiveness.” He laughed and Hyungwon’s eyes widened at how genuine – if not a little ridiculous – his laugh was.

“I just worry,” Hyungwon said, looking out to the living room where Changkyun, Jooheon, Namjoon and Hoseok were playing an intense game of Mario cart. From the screams, it sounded like Namjoon was winning. Hyungwon saw Jooheon’s shirt slip a little, exposing the jagged pink line that ran from his hip to his neck. “I never want to see them hurt like that again.”

“I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must have been,” Jin’s voice took a heavy note as he watched his husband throw his remote when Jooheon started cheering. “I read some of the articles from the fire and it sounded… horrific. You guys must have something watching over you.”

“Maybe…” Hyungwon said quietly, letting the conversation drop.

* * *

  
“Hyung? Are you awake?” Changkyun whispered. Since the fire, no one locked their bedroom doors. They wanted to be accessible if something else went wrong. Jooheon sat up and saw Changkyun’s figure in the open door.

“Yeah, can’t sleep,” He said, moving over to make room for his friend in the small bed. “What about you?”

“Same,” Changkyun curled up against Jooheon’s side, letting the other boy’s warmth soak into him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” He answered honestly. “I thought I was going to die earlier. Everything seemed so real… it was like I was really back at the fire. But Jin helped me, and being able to spend time with you again really helped too. I didn’t realize just how much I missed you.”

“Ya, hyung you’re getting mushy.” Changkyun teased and Jooheon laughed.

“Seriously though,” Jooheon’s laughter faded to something more serious. “You’re my best friend. We’ve been together since middle school. The longest time we’ve been apart was what? A month when you went to visit India with your dad? I feel like I haven’t seen you since you got out of the hospital.”

“Have you ever heard of platonic soul mates?” Changkyun said suddenly. Jooheon raised an eyebrow that the younger wouldn’t have been able to see in the dark. When he didn’t answer, Changkyun kept talking. “I… I think Kihyun might be my soul mate, but I think you are too. A different kind though. Like, it feels like our souls were made to be by each other’s side forever, you know? We were made to support each other and be friends. I don’t think anyone could ever be my best friend, at least not the way you are. You’re special to me.”

“Yeah, I feel that way too.” Jooheon smiled and shook his head a little. Changkyun always had such a crazy imagination, his thoughts going where no one would have even considered going. He was a genius in that aspect.

“I’m sorry.” Changkyun’s whisper was almost lost in the silent room. Jooheon shifted to hear his friend better.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked, honestly lost. Changkyun curled into himself and sniffled quietly.

“None of this would have happened if it weren’t for me,” He said, sounding dangerously close to tears. “You never would have gone through that…”

“Technically, if you’re so desperate to blame someone, it’s my fault,” Jooheon said bluntly. Changkyun jumped to deny the older boy’s claims but Jooheon beat him to it. “I was the one who wanted to apply at the club. You didn’t want to, but I convinced you to do it with me for some quick cash. If I had listened to you, we never would have set foot in that god forsaken club.”

“But… we never would have met Minhyuk hyung or Hyungwon hyung…” He said quietly. Jooheon nodded, pulling his friend closer. “I never would have met Kihyun…”

“Maybe… no matter how awful it is, everything really does happen for a reason.”

“Maybe. I don’t even know what our lives would be like now if we never worked at the club.” Changkyun didn’t elaborate, and Jooheon didn’t want to push it. He knew that

Changkyun was better off with how things turned out. Sure, he was injured and dealing with some serious shit from Jackson, but at least he had a support system. He had Kihyun. He had Minhyuk and Hyungwon, Hyunwoo and Hoseok. Without the bad things, Changkyun would never have the good things he did.

Jooheon sighed and shifted. Realizing Changkyun had already fallen asleep, he smiled and closed his eyes, for the first time in days sleeping without dreaming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be just one chunk of a chapter, with other parts to make a single thing but I ended up going overboard with it and making it way longer than I planned.  
> Tomorrow I have a long shift, but I'm hoping when I get home I can write the next chapter. With how this worked out, the next three chapters are going to be similar before we get back to the plot.  
> Thank you everyone who's been supporting this! I've gotten a suggestion for a Stray Kids fic, which I'm really excited to write and add to the hurt/comfort series I'm starting! If anyone has a specific plot/band they want to read about, let me know. I like to think I'm good at fulfilling requests.  
> On an unrelated note, my birthday is coming up in eleven days and I'm excited! I'm the youngest in my friend group so it'll be fun to finally be able to go out without me being too young to drink with them.


	12. Hyungwon

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Hoseok asked for the tenth time that evening. Hyungwon rolled his eyes and smacked his boyfriend gently on the back of his head.

“I’ve survived most of my life without you, I think I can handle a week.” He chuckled at the older boy’s sheepish expression.

“I know, I just worry…” He trailed off, not needing to explain why. There hadn’t been a single day since the fire that the two hadn’t seen each other. Some days were just a quick lunch during break but they were together nonetheless. That, and since the fire there hadn’t been a single night they spent apart.

“And I’m sure your parents are equally as worried,” Hyungwon wrapped his arms around Hoseok, who melted into the embrace. “You were supposed to leave yesterday. They must miss you.”

“I miss them too, I just don’t want to leave you alone.” He nuzzles his nose into Hyungwon’s neck, causing the younger boy to giggle a little.

“I won’t be alone, you know that,” Hyungwon said quietly, letting Hoseok hold him tighter. “I have the others constantly coming in and out. I’ll be lucky if I have a minute to myself.”

“You’ll call, right?” Hoseok sounded nervous, as if Hyungwon was going to forget him in his one week absence.

“Of course you big baby,” Hyungwon kissed his cheek before blowing a raspberry against his skin. Hoseok laughed loudly but only pulled back an inch. “I could never forget about you, even if you left forever.”

“I could never do that.” Hoseok knew Hyungwon’s fears. The younger boy had more than one boyfriend up and leave him without an excuse or goodbye. Hoseok feared becoming one of those guys in Hyungwon’s life, so he made every effort to be everything they weren’t.

“You have to leave before five,” Hyungwon said, his words slurring a little. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“My favorite place is right here, in your arms.” Hoseok whispered as he laid down next to Hyungwon and kissed the younger boy on the lips gently. Hyungwon smiled and blushed but didn’t look away. Hoseok felt his breath catch at how beautiful Hyungwon’s smile was.

“You’re so cheesy.” Hyungwon chuckled before moving even closer.

“Only for you.” Hoseok murmured, feeling the boy in his arms go limp as he succumbed to sleep. Hoseok drifted off soon after, trying to memorize how Hyungwon felt curled against his body.

* * *

  
_“I have to find Changkyun!” Hyungwon screamed as he broke free of whoever was holding him. He barreled back into the burning building, not even feeling the heat as he desperately searched for his friend._

_“Hyung!” Changkyun’s voice called from behind him. Hyungwon spun around but all he saw was red. “I’m here!” The voice called from the opposite direction. Hyungwon spun around again, but there was no Changkyun._

_The younger boy’s voice began calling to Hyungwon from every direction. He spun around and around, looking for Changkyun but there was nothing. Hyungwon felt tears fall down his face as he tried calling out to the boy. He called and called, but his words were stolen by the smoke before they could even leave his mouth._

_There was an explosion to his left and Hyungwon was thrown to the ground. Through the crackling of the fire, he could almost hear music in the background, the melody playing with the burning building. He looked around and saw he was back in the dressing rooms. He didn’t even stop to think how he managed to get halfway across the club._

_He was on his feet in an instant, but he felt something holding his leg in place. Glancing down, he saw fire engulfing his foot. He didn’t feel the heat, but he could feel the living flame grip his pant leg as it slowly climbed higher and higher, keeping him in his place._

_“Hyungwon!” Changkyun’s familiar voice called. Hyungwon tried in vain to pull his leg free, but the fire was already up to his knee. He looked around and saw the source of the voice._

_Changkyun was standing in the middle of the room, looking sad. He didn’t seem to notice the inferno raging around him, nor the fire that was now up to Hyungwon’s hip. His other leg was now covered and he could barely move._

_“Changkyun!” He cried, trying to reach out to the other boy. Hoseok seemed to look right through him. “Run! Get out of here!” He screamed, but the younger boy wasn’t listening. A beam fell and smashed on the ground between him and Hoseok._

_“Why?” Changkyun whispered, his voice still somehow audible over the screaming flames._

_“Please run!” Hyungwon sobbed, fighting the fire that had taken hold of his hands._

_“Why didn’t you come back in to save me?” Changkyun started noticing the fire. He screamed as the fire licked his skin, causing blisters to erupt all over his burning skin. He sobbed as the fire ate away at his clothes._

_“No, no, no-” Hyungwon fought harder, but the fire had consumed his arms._

_“Why did you leave me to die?” Suddenly it wasn’t Changkyun. Hoseok stood there, letting the fire blister his tanned skin as he looked at Hyungwon with betrayal written clear as day on his expressive features. The fire engulfed Hoseok completely, leaving nothing behind._

_Hyungwon screamed as loud as he could as the fire covered his face, leaving him in a painful silence._

Hyungwon shot up in his bed, sweating and sobbing quietly. He stared at the pattern on his blanket for a few moments, letting himself catch his breath before he thought about his dream. After three minutes, according to the small red numbers on his nightstand clock, Hyungwon rubbed his eyes and stood up. His legs buckled for a second, but he was able to gain his footing as he slipped on a pair of old sneakers and left his room.

He had never been more thankful that he was a quiet sleeper. Even the most intense nightmares caused nothing more than faint whimpers. He knew how scary it was to wake up to screams in another room, and part of him was glad no one had to experience that because of him. Hyungwon pulled out his phone and let his thumb hover over Hoseok’s contact. Hoseok was always able to calm him down after a nightmare, but this was the first night he spent without the older boy by his side. He knew Hoseok was with his family – his family that he hadn’t seen in almost two years. He had taken an early flight, and was probably just getting settled. Hyungwon didn’t want to bother him, especially over something that happened as often as it did.

Shaking his head to hopefully clear the remains of his dream, Hyungwon slipped on a hoodie and grabbed his keys before carefully leaving the apartment.

He wandered the streets, reflecting on how things had changed so drastically. For three and a half years, he would be at the club at this time of night. He had been there even before Minhyuk. To be free and wandering the streets so late was a freedom Hyungwon never thought he would have. Out of habit, his feet took him towards the remains of the building he spent so much of his life in.

He wasn’t sure what to expect. Part of him expected there to be nothing, as if the Dirty Dame never existed in the first place. Most of the rubble had been cleared after the fire had died down and there was no chance if it sparking again, but there were still pieces of the foundation left. He ducked under the police tape that had already started fading from the sun.

The front room seemed so much smaller when there were no walls or roof. He walked over to where his stage used to be and kicked the soot that stained the hardwood floor. He closed his eyes and tried to recall what things would be like if nothing happened.

Changkyun would draw the most clients as he danced like a pro. Minhyuk would think of another act to seduce his audience even more than his cat act did. Jooheon might have gotten promoted to head of security with how good he was at taking care of the dancers. Hyungwon would still have his fairly large following of loyal clients, who always seemed so eager to see him, always made time to see him dance. Hoseok did that, his thoughts wandered as his feet did. He walked towards the back, where the dressing rooms used to be. Hoseok was always eager to see him. Hoseok always made time for Hyungwon, even when the older boy was busy.

He made his way to where he would sit every night. The metal table was still there, bolted to the ground. It was covered in black soot and leaves that had blown in. He ran a finger through the soot and saw how much came up.

Without putting too much thought into it, he signed his name in the soot – his final act in the club. Just as he was about to leave, something shining in the rubble caught his attention. He crouched, not wanting to get dirty, and dug whatever it was out.

He held up the hair clip with a small smile. It was Minhyuk’s – something the older boy liked to wear when he was feeling down. He said the small metal flower made him feel pretty. Hyungwon didn’t even realize his friend had lost it. He tried to wipe more of the soot off with his thumb, but only caused more of the black to smudge on the metal.

Standing, he groaned as his knees cracked. He pocketed the hair clip, planning on cleaning it properly when he got home.

Hyungwon walked home, his nightmare just a memory yet again.

* * *

  
_He was running but no matter where he looked, there was a wall of flames. Hyungwon desperately searched for an exit, but he was trapped in a maze of fire. Every turn he took seemed to throw him into another dead end, and he could feel that soon there weren’t going to be any turns left to take. He spun on his heel, his hair sticking to his forehead._

_“Help!” A voice screamed. It sounded like Jooheon, and it sounded like he was right on the other side of the wall._

_“Jooheon, hold on!” Hyungwon cried, trying to dig through the fire as if it was sand. He could feel his skin melting, but he kept fighting through the pain to get to Jooheon, who continued to cry out for him. He finally pushed through the wall, his whole body feeling like a too hot candle, but there was nothing there. “Where are you?” He called out, feeling wobbly._

_“I’m gone.” It was Changkyun’s voice. Hyungwon was no longer in the maze of fire. He was back at the club. Everything was cold and dark, the soot covering anything that would have had any color. Hyungwon was sitting in the skeletal remains of the building, shivering and crying._

_“Changkyun?” He called out, his voice breaking. He tried to stand but his legs felt like they were made of lead. No matter how hard he fought, his legs refused to listen to him._ _He heard a whisper behind him, but found he could only twist his torso to see what it was._

_To his horror, there was a skeleton in the rubble, the bleached white bones standing out against the soot and debris. The skull shifted and the jaw bone fell open. Changkyun’s voice drifted from the skull’s open mouth._

_“You killed me,” The skull said, the voice sounding tinny. “You could have saved me but you didn’t. You let me go back in. You let me die.”_

_“NO!” Hyungwon screamed, clawing at his face._

Hyungwon woke up to his face feeling like it was on fire. The thought of being on fire just shot more fear into his system. He raced to the bathroom and threw on the lights. There was no fire. The first thing he noticed was that there wasn’t any fire. He was safe.

The second thing he noticed was the claw marks lining both sides of his face. Hyungwon ran his fingers through his bangs and realized that must have been what was making his face burn. He splashed some water over his skin before grabbing his phone from his room.

 _“I had another nightmare._ ” He typed out before erasing the message. He tried again.

“ _Things are getting bad without you._ ” Erase. Try again.

 _“I don’t think I can ever sleep without you.”_ Erase. Again.

 _“You’re the only thing that keeps the nightmares away._ ” Erase. Again.

 _“I hope you’re having a good time with your family. I miss you a lot. I hope we can call in the morning? I want to hear your voice_.” Sent. Delivered.

He knew Hoseok was asleep. They talked before the older boy went to bed. There was a slight time difference, so even though it was only 12:30 for Hyungwon, it was almost three in the morning for Hoseok. There was no way he would be awake. Hoseok slept like the dead, Hyungwon commented in his head before grimacing at his own choice of words.

Hyungwon left the apartment again, hoping to clear his head. He didn’t go to the club again. He still hadn’t told anyone he had snuck out the night before. The hairclip was tucked in a paper towel on his desk, waiting to be shined again. Instead, he walked in the direction of the old factories. Despite being abandoned years ago, Hyungwon knew the buildings were livelier than one would think. True to his assumptions, he could hear voices as he got closer.

“Wait up!” A higher pitched voice called. Hyungwon heard a few voices chuckle.

“You have the longest legs out of all of us,” A much deeper voice responded, mirth apparent in his tone. “We could have left an hour ago and you still would have beat us.”

“Still,” The first voice said with a pout. Hyungwon could tell he was pouting because he sounded exactly the same as Changkyun when the boy wouldn’t get his way. “I don’t like being left behind.”

“Aw, come here Sanha, let hyung kiss it better.” Another voice said and Hyungwon heard some scuffling followed by a high pitched screech and more laughter.

“Ya, keep it down!” The deep voice from before scolded them. “If we get caught I’m blaming Minhyuk.”

“Rude.” The third voice retorted. Hyungwon tensed as the voices came close enough for him to see their faces. There were six of them, all younger than him. The tallest had curled hair that was obviously dyed red. He was wearing an oversized hoodie and ripped jeans. The one with his arm slung around the tall boy was grinning, the way his eyes turned up reminded Hyungwon of Jooheon almost. The two shortest were standing next to each other, one with blonde hair and a slight overbite that was only visible when he grinned and the other with black hair and a head band. The final two where snickering to each other. One’s eyes turned into crescents as he laughed, while the other shook his head with a faint smirk. Hyungwon thought they were all extremely beautiful and was suddenly extremely self-conscious in his sleep pants and hoodie that didn’t even belong to him. The boys saw him and froze.

“Shit, we’re caught.” Said the short one with the blond hair. Hyungwon realized it was the deeper voice he had heard and was surprised to hear it come from such a small body, though knowing Changkyun should have stopped any shock.

“Don’t mind me,” He found himself saying, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’m just trying to clear my head.”

“What happened to your face?” The tallest said with shock written across his face. The other five all turned in sync to smack the boy, who finally realized how rude he sounded. Blushing, he bowed and began to stutter an apology. “I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Hyungwon waved him off, smiling a little. The kid couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen. “Had a nightmare. Must have scratched myself or something. I didn’t want to stay in my apartment so I came out for a walk.”

“Nightmare? Did you want to talk about it?” The blond said, way too serious for a stranger talking to another stranger.

“It’s nothing really…” Hyungwon bit back a smile. This boy reminded him of Changkyun. “Isn’t it a little late to be out?”

“Depends on your idea of late,” The blond said cheekily. When he smiled, his cheeks puffed up and Hyungwon fought back the urge to pull at his face. “Technically MJ hyung, me and Dongmin are old enough. It’s only Binnie, Minhyuk and Sanha that are out past their bedtimes.”

“Jinwoo hyung, stop treating us like kids.” The tallest – Sanha, Hyungwon put a name to the face – pouted again.

“You’re the one who wanted to sneak out and get food at midnight.” Jinwoo fired back. Sanha looked down at his shoes before mumbling an answer.

“I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible,” He said, voice wavering. “You’re going off to college in a few months…”  
Hyungwon saw Jinwoo’s shoulder’s slump. He pulled Sanha into a hug and Hyungwon felt like he was intruding on a personal moment. He glanced up at the stars, watching them dance against their velvety curtain.

“You wanna come with us?” MJ asked excitedly. Hyungwon blinked in surprise, realizing the other boy had been talking to him.

“Um, sure.” He said without fully knowing where he was going. MJ and the others smiled wide, and Hyungwon just followed them towards the convenience store he used to frequent when all he could afford was cup ramen. Speaking of which, he decided to treat the kids, seeing how seven cups of ramen and drinks barely made him bat an eye at that point in his life. Jinwoo tried to protest, but when he saw Hyungwon pull out a larger bill his eyes widened a fraction.

“So, what was your nightmare about?” Jinwoo asked as they sat, waiting for their ramen to cook. The others went on a hunt for a bathroom, leaving Hyungwon and Jinwoo to hold down the two tables they commandeered in the empty store.

“Ah, I…” Hyungwon thought about it for a second before sighing. “You know what? What could go wrong? Minhyuk hyung always berates me for not opening up.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Jinwoo said as he sipped his drink. “Sanha… it took him a while to come to us with his depression and stuff.”

“Really? He seems so…” Hyungwon didn’t want to say the cliché that was on the tip of his tongue but Jinwoo heard it regardless.

“Happy? Yeah, well… he only started smiling again recently. I think the idea of me and MJ going off to college really freaks him out. Our gang, we’ve been together since he was in elementary school. MJ took a year off to work at his mom’s store but we’re going to the same college in the fall. It’s only an hour away, but it’s a lot for the others. We’ve never really been separated.”

“I don’t know how well you know the seedier parts of town,” Hyungwon said, a strange feeling in his chest. He didn’t know why Jinwoo trusted him with that information about his friends, but it made the older boy trust him more than he probably should. He thought it was strange that he trusted these strangers so easily, but he realized quickly that since they were all so young he kept getting strong Changkyun vibes from them. “But do you remember the strip club that was around the corner from the 24 hour café?”

“Vaguely. Bin wanted to stop in but they ID anyone under eighteen.” Jinwoo smirked and shook his head. Hyungwon couldn’t stop a small smirk of his own from playing at his lips.

“Well, I was a dancer there. You must know about the fire, right?” When Jinwoo nodded, Hyungwon continued. “I was in the fire. It was… absolutely terrifying. If I pulled the collar of my sweat shirt down you’d see the scars still. Anyway, the entire time after the fire my boyfriend Hoseok was with me. Even though we were busy we always made time for each other. I never spent a night alone. He went to visit his family this week and I thought I would be fine because I had only had mild nightmares before and he had always been there to comfort me. The first night I dreamed that Changkyun was calling for me but suddenly it was Hoseok. He was just standing there before he was… eaten by the fire… and I couldn’t move to save him. Tonight I was stuck in some sort of fire maze, but it turned to the rubble of the club – everything covered in soot and ash. There were bones… and I heard Changkyun’s voice… blaming me for letting him die…” Hyungwon didn’t mean to cry. He didn’t really cry when he woke up from the dreams, but for some reason retelling the nightmares to someone made the emotions that much fresher. Jinwoo listened in silence, his face twisting in worry as Hyungwon began to sob into his hands.

“Have you tried calling your boyfriend?” Jinwoo asked, handing the older boy some napkins. Hyungwon took them with a nod and wiped his face.

“I wanted to but… I know how important this trip is to Hoseok. He hasn’t seen his family in years, and he’s in a different time zone. I don’t want to bother him with something like this when I know it’ll go away in three days.”

“But it sounds like he really cares for you,” Jinwoo gently argued. “If he stayed with you every single night after the fire? I really don’t think someone who would put that much effort into someone would be upset if that someone needed them. That’s the point of being with a person, isn’t it? To take care of them?”

“How old are you?” Hyungwon gave a watery laugh. Jinwoo smiled and gave a short laugh of his own.

“I just turned twenty,” He said, fiddling with his straw. “I could have graduated high school technically, but I was held back because of my birthday.”

“You’re the same age as Changkyun,” Hyungwon muttered, wondering if he had met the other boy in a different life, if Changkyun would have been like Jinwoo. “But you’re right, I guess. I do love Hoseok, and I know he loves me even though he’s afraid to actually say it. I just can’t help but fell…” He trailed off, not actually sure how he felt.

“Guilty?” Jinwoo supplied and Hyungwon blinked.

“Yeah, guilty,” That was exactly what he was feeling. “How did you know?”

“You said in your dream your friend kept saying you let him die. That sounds like a guilty conscious. What happened at that fire?” Jinwoo asked, resting his elbows on the table.

“Changkyun ran back in to get Kihyun… Jooheon tried to run after him but was knocked out by a falling beam. I got distracted trying to get the beam off Jooheon that I didn’t go back in to help Changkyun…”

“That’s not your fault,” Jinwoo sounded so sure of himself that Hyungwon was a little shocked. “If something had happened to Changkyun, there is no way it could have been your fault. You can’t blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control.”

“I should have done more… we thought they were dead. When Changkyun stumbled out carrying Jackson and Kihyun, I thought it was my imagination. He was in such bad shape…” Hyungwon’s hands trembled as he ripped the napkin into small pieces before piling the pieces neatly on the table. Jinwoo watched his hands with a thoughtful expression.

“Have you talked to Changkyun about this?” He asked, his tone soft.

“He already blames himself so much,” Hyungwon worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “If I told him that I was feeling guilty about him getting hurt, it would just be more fuel to blame himself. He’s already ripping himself apart that we all got hurt.”

“Communication is key, hyung,” Jinwoo said, perking up when he saw the employee gesture that their ramen was done. The two of them worked to carry the seven steaming bowls to the tables. “It might make things bad in the moment, but in the long run it’ll be best.”

“What did you say you were going to school for?” Hyungwon asked with a small smirk. Jinwoo grinned as he blew on some noodles.

“I hadn’t yet,” He winked and Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh. “But I’m going for psychology. I want to be a trauma counselor.”

“I think you’re going to do amazing,” Hyungwon felt his chest warm at how Jinwoo seemed to brighten at the praise. “You aren’t even in college yet and you’re better than half the therapists I’ve been to.”

“That’s because I know what people need to hear, rather than what I’m taught to say. Sometimes people need praise to work through things, while others need to come to a conclusion on their own. Sometimes they need to be pushed a little more than a normal therapist might.”

“Ya, hyung! You didn’t tell us the food was ready!” Minhyuk whined as they slid into their seats. Hyungwon could see the water soaking into their shirts, and had the faint thought that perhaps an impromptu water fight had been what kept the boys so long.

“You didn’t tell me about you and Sanha either. Guess we’re even now.” Jinwoo stuck out his tongue as Minhyuk and Sanha both flushed redder than what was probably healthy.  
Hyungwon sat back and listened to their bickering with a content smile. The ramen was too hot and too salty, and he knew he was going to be exhausted come morning, but going to a walk really was the best thing he could have done.

* * *

  
“Hey Wonnie,” Hoseok’s voice was slow and low from exhaustion, but it made every nerve in Hyungwon’s body tingle. “I should be landing in about three hours. We’re about to take off now.”

“I miss you so much.” Hyungwon said, feeling his eyes sting.

“I miss you too… I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help you through your nightmares.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Hyungwon confessed. When he got back from the midnight snacking with his new friends, he instantly sent a long message to Hoseok, explaining his nightmares and why he hadn’t told his boyfriend sooner. He caught Hoseok at a good time, because he had gotten a response within two minutes of it being opened.

Hoseok did everything in his power after that to take care of Hyungwon. He kept his ringer on, so when the younger called in the middle of the night he could wake up. On the last night they were apart, they fell asleep on video call together. That was the first time Hyungwon didn’t wake up with a scream choking him. His nightmare was still there, but it wasn’t as bad knowing Hoseok was right on the other side of the screen with him.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you soon.” He said, his voice full with emotion and anticipation.

“I’ll see you soon,” Hyungwon grinned even though Hoseok wouldn’t have been able to see it. “I… I’ll see you soon.” He repeated, finding he didn’t have the courage to say those three words over the phone. Hoseok said goodbye and hung up, leaving Hyungwon with his thoughts.

Before he left, Hoseok made it quite clear he didn’t want Hyungwon meeting him at the airport. As much as he knew he was going to want to see the younger boy, Hoseok also knew how hectic and dangerous the airport could be. Call him overprotective, but he refused to put Hyungwon in a situation where he could be hurt. Hyungwon, understanding his boyfriend’s motives, agreed without much of a fuss.

“Wonnie, baby, wake up.” Hoseok’s soft voice floated through Hyungwon’s head. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for Hoseok to come home until he was being gently shaken.

“You’re home.” Hyungwon said sleepily, instantly wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s shoulder. The older boy returned the embrace with just as much enthusiasm. Hyungwon never thought it was possible to miss someone in such a short amount of time, but then again Hyungwon never really believed in love or relationships all that much before Hoseok either.

“I’m home.” He repeated, but Hyungwon could tell he didn’t mean the apartment.

Hoseok meant Hyungwon. Hyungwon was Hoseok’s home.

Hyungwon buried his nose in Hoseok’s nose and let hot tears roll down his face. For the first time in a week it felt like he could take a deep breath.

“I love you.” Hyungwon finally said the words he had been too afraid to say before. He felt Hoseok tense under his fingers for a moment before he was attacked by Hoseok kissing every single part of his face.

“I love you too,” he said, his breath warm against Hyungwon’s skin. “I love you do damn much. I should have told you months ago. I should have told you the second I realized it, when I was sitting with you in the waiting room of the hospital, the night of the fire.”

“That long?” Hyungwon’s eyes were wide with shock. Hoseok reached to kiss both of the taller boy’s eyelids carefully.

“I know you don’t think you’re lovable,” he said softly and Hyungwon shivered. “But anyone who doesn’t love you doesn’t understand what a major loss it is. They threw away a diamond. They thought the purest gold in the world wasn’t worth their time and they were so, so wrong. They were so stupid to pass up on you. I’m the luckiest man in the world just to have met you. I never thought I would be lucky enough to talk to you, or kiss you or… or love you.”

“Hoseok…” Hyungwon was in tears. In all his past relationships – which he hesitated to actually call relationships – no one had cared enough to say all that to him.

“Hey, look at me,” Hoseok suddenly pulled away and looked at Hyungwon with a frown. His thumb gently ran over the skin beneath the younger boy’s eye and the frown deepened. “When was the last time you slept properly?”

“When did you leave?” He asked back, too tired to do the math. Hoseok’s eyebrows furrowed even more.

“That long?” he whispered, faint horror lacing his words.

“You keep the nightmares away,” Hyungwon murmured, feeling his eyes grow heavy again. “I can’t sleep without you.”

“Come on then, let’s go to bed,” Hoseok picked Hyungwon up and cradled him against his broad chest, carrying him to their shared room. “I got some new toys from the city. We can try them out later.” He let his words adopt a flirty tone and Hyungwon snorted.

“You’re so dirty,” he chuckled as Hoseok placed him gently on the bed. “But I love it.”

“And I love you.” Hoseok kissed his forehead as he slipped in the covers. Hyungwon instantly relaxed for the first time in days.

“I love you Hoseok.” He whispered before falling into a deep sleep.

There, wrapping in Hoseok’s arms, Hyungwon dreamed of an open field and laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more chapters before we find out what going to happen next!  
> I'd like to give a special shout out to Rebecca, who always lets me bounce ideas off of her. Without her brainstorming, I would have given up on this ages ago.
> 
> If anyone has any questions or wants me to clear anything up, shoot me a comment or message on twitter! (@ 25boyfriends) because I'm self centered and love talking about my writing.


	13. Minhyuk

“Thank you for taking me out to dinner.” Minhyuk said from the passenger seat of Hyunwoo’s car. Hyunwoo smiled from the driver’s seat and moved to take the younger boy’s hand in his. He knew it was a little reckless to drive with one hand but he wanted to feel Minhyuk’s warmth.

“You’ve been stressed lately,” He said softly, carefully switching lanes. “I figured a nice dinner was the least I could do to help you relax.”

“You know, there are other things we can do to relax too.” Minhyuk wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he slipped his phone into he cup holder between the seats and Hyunwoo threw his head back with laughter. They weren’t officially dating – yet – but they did everything a couple did. Everything but be intimate, but Hyunwoo respected Minhyuk and the younger boy’s negative self-image. He asked Minhyuk one why he was so self-conscious when he had been a dancer and the younger got quiet before responding. He said the person who stripped wasn’t him. It was a persona he could never recreate offstage. The real him was shy and hyperaware of his flaws. Hyunwoo had pulled him into his arms and kissed his forehead gently.

“There has been some major speculation on social media about the fire at the infamous Dirty Dame,” The radio host said through Hyunwoo’s slightly static-y speakers. Minhyuk froze. “Some are saying one of the workers started the fire to spite their boss, who hasn’t been heard from since the fire for anyone who was curious. No one has been able to get ahold of this Wang character.”

“I’m changing it,” Hyunwoo said quietly. Minhyuk didn’t argue. He sat, shaking in his seat. Hyunwoo glanced over and saw how pale his companion had turned at the mention of the club. “Do you want me to pull over? You look like you might be sick…”

Minhyuk shook his head but stared out the front window, not blinking and barely breathing. His heart was speeding up faster and faster, and he felt his dinner coming back up again. Thoughts of Jackson floated through his mind and he wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and hurt him for everything he had done to the people Minhyuk cared about.

“-y? Minhyuk, are you okay?” Hyunwoo repeated himself three times before the boy in question reacted.

“…’m fine.” He murmured, sounding anything but fine.

“Are you sure? We’re about to pass the exit for the hospital if you’re not feeling well.” Hyunwoo suggested, not knowing how to help Minhyuk, who looked like he was about to pass out any second. At the mention of the hospital, Minhyuk freaked out.

“NO!” He basically screamed, trying to rip the seat belt away from his chest without unbuckling it. Hyunwoo swerved at the sudden outburst, but Minhyuk was hysterical, unable to see anything past the terror threatening to take over. “PLEASE NO! Don’t take me back there! I hate it there. I hate the hospital. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.” He started screaming again, tears streaming down his face. He grabbed at Hyunwoo’s arms, desperate for comfort and the small part of his brain that was still functioning knew the older man would comfort him.

What he didn’t remember was that they were still in a car.

Hyunwoo jerked at the sudden touch and swerved again, running off the road and into a small ditch off the shoulder. Minhyuk felt his forehead connect with the dashboard, but the airbags hadn’t gone off. He felt a sting at this throat and realized the seat belt was cutting into the skin of his neck, but he couldn’t lean back because of the angle the car was at.

“Minhyuk…” Hyunwoo groaned, a line of blood dribbling down his temple from where it must have hit the steering wheel.

“Oh my god Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk started crying again. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry…” He sobbed, trying to reach for the other man.

“I’m fine,” he reassured the hysterical boy, but it only made him cry harder. “Just a head ache. Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard.”

“I’m okay…” Minhyuk felt horrible. He had freaked out and caused Hyunwoo to crash. What if Hyunwoo had been injured because of him?

What if Hyunwoo had been killed because of him?

“Hey, Minhyuk look at me,” Hyunwoo tried to get his attention. He knew what was running through Minhyuk’s head, which meant he also knew he had to snap his friend out of it before he spiraled into a complete panic attack. “It’s okay. Neither of us are hurt. The car isn’t too bad, I don’t think. Everything is okay.”

Suddenly a bright light shined through the driver’s side window. They heard voices as the person with the flashlight tried the door. Hyunwoo was able to reach over and hit the unlock button and the person ripped the door open.

“Oh thank god, they’re both awake.” A voice said as someone else opened the passenger door. Minhyuk felt hands on him as his seatbelt was unbuckled and he fell forward. The hands that were on him caught him easily and pulled him from the car.

“Shit he’s bleeding!” The voice close to Minhyuk said frantically. His hand reached up to his forehead and felt it was tacky. He didn’t even realize.

“Should we lay them down?” A new voice chimed in, sounding scared.

“I’m going to call an ambulance.”

“No,” Minhyuk whimpered. “I can’t go back to the hospital.” He started crying, the sobs making the pain in his head double.

“Jae, what do we do?” The boy holding Minhyuk asked softly.

“Shit, um… this is why Sungjin always makes the decisions,” The one with the glasses said, glancing between Minhyuk and his phone. He was the one who was going to call the ambulance, Minhyuk realized faintly. “Yeah, um, lay them down on the grass. Brian, see if we have water and napkins in the car. Pillie and I can clean them up some?”

Jae sounded worried but was taking charge well enough. Minhyuk was placed gently on the grass where Hyunwoo was sitting up and another boy with dark hair and a serious expression was making sure he didn’t fall over.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Minhyuk asked again as he wiggled closer. Hyunwoo instantly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

“I am now,” He said softly into Minhyuk’s hair. “I was so worried…”

“Here, this might sting like a bitch, so I’m sorry in advance.” Jae said as he kneeled in front of Minhyuk. His Korean was accented, Minhyuk noted now that he was able to focus on the stranger’s words. Jae wet the napkin and gently dabbed at Minhyuk’s forehead. He sucked in a sharp breath as a stabbing pain went through his head but he didn’t voice any complaints.

“I got you,” The older boy said. Minhyuk heard Jae murmur a ‘thanks Dowoon’ under his breath as he started cleaning Hyunwoo’s temple in the same manner. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“Thank you for helping us,” Hyunwoo said in an equally quiet voice. “I don’t know how long we might have been there.”

“Is there anyone you can call?” Brian asked as he jogged over, holding two more water bottles. He handed one to each of them. “I checked out your car some. I’m no expert but it doesn’t look too damaged. Getting it out of the ditch is going to be rough though.”

“I’ll call Hyungwonnie,” Minhyuk said, his voice starting to slur a little. Hyunwoo looked over at him with sharp worry. After a head injury, that was definitely a red flag. Minhyuk felt his pocket and cursed under his breath. “It’s still in the car.”

He stood to get it, only to be caught by Brian when he started to sway. The pounding in his head was only getting worse and he was suddenly hit with how exhausted he was.

“Be careful!” Brian scolded him as he helped Minhyuk over to their car. When he was climbing in to grab his phone, Minhyuk thought enough to pull the keys from the ignition. He saw he already had fifteen texts and three missed calls from his roommates. Ignoring the messages for the time being, he dialed Hyungwon’s number and put it on speaker as he sat back down next to Hyunwoo.

“Minhyuk? Where the fuck are you?” Hyungwon picked up instantly, his worried voice filling the night air. “It’s been two hours? What happened? Where are you?”

“We got into a bit of an accident.” Hyunwoo said loud enough to be heard on the phone. Hyungwon was silent for a moment before he screeched loudly.

“AN ACCIDENT? WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU OKAY?” He screamed into the phone. Minhyuk pulled the device farther away from his ear. Hyungwon’s panic was making his headache even worse. He waited for his friend to take a breath before responding.

“I distracted Hyunwoo and we drove into a ditch,” he said, the guilt eating away at him. “Another car stopped to help us out but our car is pretty stuck. We hit our heads but I… would you be able to come get us?”

“You hit your heads? Oh shit that’s not good,” Hyungwon was calming down a little now that he knew his friends weren’t in serious trouble, but his voice was still trembling.

“Are you going to the hospital? If you have a concussion-”

“No,” Minhyuk cut him off. “No hospital. I can’t… I can’t go back there after…”

“I understand…” Hyungwon said quietly. He cleared his throat quickly. “You haven’t told me where you are yet.”

“We made it to that stretch of trees between the apartments and the hospital,” Hyunwoo said. The trip to the hospital had become all too familiar with them after the fire, so Hyungwon knew exactly where Hyunwoo was talking about. “We’re going to need a tow truck, but that can wait till morning I guess.”

“Kihyun said he can drive us. We’ll be there soon, okay?” Hyungwon only waited to hear a verbal confirmation before hanging up. Minhyuk let out a sharp breath – a ghost of a chuckle.

“Since when does Kihyun drive?” He asked, his eyes slipping shut for a moment. He rested his head on Hyunwoo’s shoulder as the older man pulled his body close.

“Oh, he has a car. He just likes walking. He’s never been a fan of driving really. We think he’s just too lazy.” Hyunwoo said with a little humor. Minhyuk snorted at that, and Hyunwoo felt his chest relax. He wasn’t an expert at head injuries, but seeing Minhyuk act somewhat normal seemed like a good sign.

Jae and his friends waited with them. He rambled on about how they were in a rock band together with their friend Sungjin, who had work that evening. They were supposed to play at some fundraiser the day before but it had been rained out. Hyunwoo was grateful for the other boys for sticking around and keeping Minhyuk awake. His own head injury wasn’t bad at all. He could tell it was more of a cosmetic thing than anything, but the way Minhyuk’s eyes kept losing focus worried the older man greatly.

By the time another car’s headlights came by, Hyunwoo was starting to shiver. He had pulled Minhyuk even closer in hopes his body heat could protect the smaller boy from the night’s chill but it wasn’t working that well. The car instantly pulled over and two figures burst from the back.

“Oh my god!” Hoseok rushed over first, falling to his knees in front of them. His fingers flittered over the faint blood stains on their skin that water alone hadn’t been able to clean.

“Are you alright?” Hyungwon was next, touching Minhyuk’s face in an attempt to get his attention. It worked, for a second, before the older boy’s eyes fell out of focus again.

“I think he has a concussion.” Jae said softly. Hyungwon and Hoseok looked at the boy with fear.

“Oh shit, that’s not good.” Hoseok muttered, looking at Minhyuk like he was about to break. He noticed the violent bruising that was starting to form around his neck and Hoseok thought he was going to cry.

“Let’s get them home,” Kihyun came jogging over, blankets in his arms. “I know Minhyuk doesn’t want to go to the hospital, but maybe if we keep him awake we can get him to a doctor first thing in the morning.”

“They’re going to be okay, right?” Wonpil asked Jae, out of hearing range of the boys in question. Jae watched their friends load them into the third car with a frown.

“I hope so,” He said as his frown deepened. Minhyuk obviously didn’t remember him – not that he blamed the other boy after what happened - but Jae remembered the dancer. Jae had come in looking for a job as a dancer about a year ago, only to be rejected for having two left feet. Instead, he worked the bar for about two months before he found a better job. “As long as Minhyuk doesn’t fall asleep, he should be okay.”

“How did you-?” Wonpil started to ask when he was cut off by Kihyun jogging over to them. They hadn’t expected the new comer to bow to them.

“Thank you so much,” Kihyun said, voice thick with tears. “I don’t know what we would have done if… we can’t…” He broke, the flood rushing down his cheeks. He was glad he was still bowed, so the boys in front of him wouldn’t see him cry.

“Just… take care of them, okay?” Jae said uncertainly.

“Of course. I can never pay you back for helping them.” Kihyun felt another wave of tears coming again and desperately worked to hold them back.

“Why was he so against going to the hospital? Doesn’t that put him in more danger?” Brian asked with concern. Kihyun sighed and wiped his face.

“Our friend was in an… accident a few months ago. We stayed at the hospital every single moment we could, just waiting for news if he survived. I’m not surprised Minhyuk wouldn’t want to go back. Especially not so soon.”

“That’s terrible…”

“Thank you again,” Kihyun bowed one more time. “I should get going-”

“Wait,” Jae said suddenly, pulling a pen out of the small bag slung around Dowoon’s chest. He grabbed Kihyun’s hand and scribbled something onto his palm. “Text me or something? I want to know that they’re okay.”

“Alright,” Kihyun smiled warmly at the boys. They looked to be Changkyun’s age, and it warmed his heart. “I’ll let you know tomorrow when we take them to a doctor.”

“Thank you.” Jae felt a weight come off his chest. Kihyun said a final goodbye before stopping at Hyunwoo’s car. He tied an old shirt that he found in the truck to the mirror, so it wasn’t thought to be an abandonment and Hyunwoo was fined.

The others were already in the car when he slid into the driver’s seat. Hoseok was in the front while Hyungwon sat inbetween Minhyuk and Hyunwoo, who were both quieter than usual. Kihyun started the car and drove home as carefully as possible.

* * *

  
“It doesn’t look too bad,” The doctor said as he flashed a light into Minhyuk’s eyes. The members of the apartment had took turns keeping the usually lively friend awake. While none of them had personally faced the side effects of a concussion, they knew what might happen if he fell asleep, and the idea terrified them. “You’re lucky though. Looking at the external bruising and how lethargic he is, things could have gone bad since you didn’t take him to the hospital.” Minhyuk flinched at the H word and the doctor put the flashlight away.

“What can we do for him?” Hyunwoo asked. He had been checked out by another doctor, who cleared him with the recommendation of staying away from electronics for a few days.

“Wake him every two hours for at least two night. There’s still the chance he could fall into a coma. Other than that, make sure he takes it easy and takes his pain medication. I’d also suggest ice for the bruise on his neck. He might have trouble talking for a few days,” The doctor said as he quickly filled out a prescription sheet. “If his health seems to take any sort of decline, or he starts acting strange, bring him back.”

“Thank you doctor,” Hyunwoo tool the slip and helped Minhyuk out to Kihyun’s car. Brian had been right. His own car wasn’t too badly damaged. - it had been towed first thing that morning and a quick check over showed the only real damage was the front axle had bent a little, and said it would cost around six hundred dollars to patch up. Hyunwoo, who didn’t have to pay rent or mortgage on his home, didn’t bat an eye. That car was his baby – the first thing he bought brand new in his life. “You want to stop for food on the way home?”

“Mmm I’m not that hungry,” Minhyuk said softly. His head was still hurting so he didn’t speak too loudly. Hyunwoo almost slammed on the breaks and turned around. Minhyuk, who they regularly teased for being a human black hole, wasn’t hungry. “Actually? I want… fruit. Can we get some fruit salad or something?”

“Anything for you.” He leaned over and kissed Minhyuk on the temple, careful not to agitate the bruising that covered the right side of his face.

“Ya, you’re a bigger sap than Hoseok hyung,” He grinned, and Hyunwoo felt better. No apatite was one thing, but Minhyuk teasing him was a good sign. “Next thing I know you’re going to be following me around like a lost puppy and tying me to the bed.”

“That second part doesn’t sound too bad.” Hyunwoo said casually, biting back a smirk at Minhyuk’s shocked expression,

“Deviants, every one of you.” He said as he threw his hands in the air. The exasperated look on his face couldn’t hide his blush, and Hyunwoo felt a flare of pride knowing he was the one to fluster the other boy so easily.

They stopped on the way back to the apartment and grabbed some fruit salad and sushi. Minhyuk didn’t realize how much he wanted some until they passed the ‘international’ section of the grocery store. Hyunwoo joked that maybe he didn’t have a concussion, maybe he was just pregnant. Minhyuk looked at him, scandalized, before putting a second tray of sushi into the basket.

* * *

  
“Hey, what did the doc say?” Jooheon asked as they pushed open the door of the apartment. The two ended up making a pit stop at a playground on the way back, eating their fruit and fish on an impromptu picnic.

“To wake him up every two hours for about two days and to take him back if he starts acting out of character.” Hyunwoo placed the pain medication on the table. He was thankful the grocery store had a pharmacy built in.

“So it’s not that serious?” Changkyun chimed in, looking at Minhyuk warily.

“Thankfully not as bad as we thought, but there’s still a chance I could fall into a coma according to the doctor.” Minhyuk said airily despite the scratchiness of his voice, as if he was commenting on the weather. Everyone froze at the thought of their lively roommate, cold and unresponsive in the hospital. Changkyun tried to salvage the frozen tension in the air.

“Hyung, I know you can’t watch anything for a while, but did you want to go for a walk? Seungcheol texted me a few minutes ago saying everyone was going to the park for a bit to celebrate the end of the semester.”

“I’d love to.” Minhyuk said with a smile. The elder felt a pang in his chest at Changkyun’s words. The youngest had tried to catch up with the work he missed when he was in the hospital, but after a meeting with his advisor, they decided it would be best to have his professors give him incompletes for his grades and to retake the courses in the fall. Changkyun didn’t want to, of course, but he realized he really didn’t have a choice. It was either that, or have failures marring his almost perfect GPA.

“Come on then! We can take the bus.” Changkyun slipped on his sneakers, and Minhyuk saw how the younger’s eyes softened at the sight of the custom shoes. It made his heart skip a beat to see how in love Changkyun was, and Minhyuk could only pray one day he would feel the same as the younger – and have someone feel the same about him.

“Stay safe you two,” Hyunwoo said, coming up behind Minhyuk and placing a hand on the smaller’s hip. “I expect him back in one piece, you hear me Changkyunnie?”

“Yes sir!” Changkyun gave a fake salute before gently dragging Minhyuk from Hyunwoo. Minhyuk realized when he saw Hyunwoo’s eyes soften the same way Changkyun’s had that maybe he was closer to his prayer than he thought.

* * *

  
“You really scared us.” Hyungwon said later that night, when Hoseok was asleep on his bed and Hyunwoo was hogging the apartment’s only shower. Kihyun had stepped out to make a phone call, but no one felt up to pestering him on who it was just yet. Changkyun, Minhyuk, Jooheon and Hyungwon had shoved themselves on the small couch, the closeness something they hadn’t realized they missed. Minhyuk looked at his hands sadly.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered, tears stinging his eyes.

“I guess now I know how you always felt,” Changkyun said, taking one of Minhyuk’s hands in his own. “When you would freak out if we were late coming home. I thought… I thought you were never going to come home again. When Hyungwon hyung and Hoseok hyung and Kihyun ran out of the apartment… I wanted to come so badly. I needed to see that you were okay but they told us to stay behind… it was the scariest half hour of our lives.”

“God, if I’ve ever made you panic like that, I’m sorry,” Jooheon said, voice thick. “I’ll never be late coming home again, I swear.”

“Thank you… I love you guys.” Minhyuk let his tears fall. Three pairs of arms awkwardly wrapped around him and he sobbed out a laugh.

“Looks at us,” Hyungwon said with a sniffle and a laugh of his own. “Three ex strippers and an ex security, sobbing on the couch like a bunch of housewives.”

“Excuse you, I’d make the best housewife.” Jooheon retorted, sounding offended.

“Who would have thought we would have ended up together?” Changkyun chuckled as he truly realized what a mashed up gang they were.

“Sometimes we find people we never thought we would need, and end up never leaving their sides.” Minhyuk said softly, his friend’s presence warming his chest.

“Ya, stick to dancing. Your poetry sucks.” Jooheon stuck out his tongue and everyone laughed. Minhyuk playfully smacked the younger, who yelped in mock pain.

“Hey, keep it down some would you? He’s doing better but Minhyuk is still hurt,” Hyunwoo came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but sweatpants and a towel that he was using to dry his hair. Minhyuk blushed and Jooheon smirked at Changkyun. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Together?” Minhyuk asked before he could stop the words from coming out. Hyunwoo smiled and Minhyuk felt his heart skip a beat.

“I figured it would be easier to wake you up if I was there with you,” He said warmly as he took Minhyuk’s hand. He never realized how much larger Hyunwoo’s hand was compared to his own. It just intensified his blush. “I already set alarms for every two hours until six. Is that alright?”

“It’s perfect,” Minhyuk decided to be brave in that moment and brought Hyunwoo’s knuckles – still intertwined with his own – to his mouth, brushing a soft kiss to the skin. “Thank you, for taking care of me.”

“O-of course,” Hyunwoo – the stoic robot of a man he was – stuttered at the sight of Minhyuk kissing his hand. The smaller boy laughed and rested his head on Hyunwoo’s arm. “I’d do anything for you.”

“Carry me?” Minhyuk asked innocently, looking up at Hyunwoo with large, shining eyes. Hyunwoo’s blush doubled and he suddenly didn’t have any words left. He carefully picked Minhyuk up bridal style, waiting for the smaller boy to wrap his arms around his neck and get comfortable in his arms before retreating to Minhyuk’s room. They ignored the whistles and cat calls coming from the living room with red faces.

Hyunwoo carefully placed Minhyuk on the mattress, making sure not to jostle his head at all. Minhyuk instantly scooted over to make room for the much larger man. As soon as Hyunwoo laid down, Minhyuk crawled half onto his chest, letting his head rest right above Hyunwoo’s heart.

They drifted off in a content silence. Just before he fell asleep, Minhyuk decided waking up every two hours wasn’t too bad if it meant falling asleep on Hyunwoo as often as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to show different reactions to the aftermath of the fire. Jooheon had PTSD, Hyungwon had horrific nightmare, and now Minhyuk can't think of the hospital without freaking out. I hope they seem like realistic reactions. I didn't want to write three chapters with the same plot, if that makes sense.
> 
> This weekend is going to be crazy for me, so this is probably going to be the last update for a few days! I like using what little free time I have to write, but I'm really not going to have that much free time till after Monday probably.  
> Thanks to everyone for reading! It means the world to me that there are actually people out there who read my writing and enjoy it. This is something I wish I could do forever, you know?


	14. Fated Meeting

Bambam looked at the hospital room door with apprehension. He knew his hyung was right behind the wall, but part of him didn’t want to see Jackson. It had been almost two days since the fire, and the two boys had spent a lot of time with the people in the waiting room. They learned a lot in the two days they had been waiting.

Jackson’s roommate had been released earlier that day, someone named Kihyun reuniting with their new friends while their hyung fought to stay conscious for more than a few minutes at a time. The nurse had told him and Yugyeom that the older man had suffered a massive concussion and mild damage to his lungs from the smoke and ash.

“We have to talk to him,” Yugyeom said when he saw Bam hesitate. They tried talking to the other hyungs of their friend group, but everyone seemed to skirt around the subject. Bambam realized with a sinking stomach that he and Gyeom seemed to be the only two that had no idea what was going on with Jackson. Only Mark seemed upset, but because he was away for school he wasn’t able to be at the hospital.

Bambam and Yugyeom were alone.

Finally, Bam worked up the courage to open the door. Jackson was sitting up in his bed, looking out the window. The bandage on his head had been removed, his stitches needing only a day or so more before they too could be removed. When the door opened, the blond turned to look and smiled faintly when he recognized the two walking towards him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” He said lightly, and Bam felt himself cringe. How was he supposed to feel, knowing his hyung had done such awful things? The same hyung that spoke to him gently and calmed him down when he was hysterical and made sure his mom had enough money for Christmas when Bam was younger and it was just him with this mother? “You don’t look all that happy to see me. Did the fire mess my face up that badly?” He let out a chuckle, but let his smile drop when he saw the downcast expressions on the boy’s faces.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay hyung.” Gyeom spoke first, his one hand wrapped around his opposite arm in an attempt to make himself smaller.

“Are you alright?” Jackson asked, sitting upright in the bed. His eyes, though still blood shot and glassy, were suddenly more alert. Yugyeom nodded his head but didn’t look up from the tiles. “Gyeom, you’re an awful liar. You and I both know that.”

Yugyeom tried to bite back the stinging in the back of his throat, but physically biting his lip wasn’t enough. A single tear drop fell and splashed on the cold tile floor and Jackson tried to reach out to the youngest. Without thinking, Yugyeom took a step away. Jackson just stared at him with an openly hurt look, not understanding why the boy who normally thrived from affection was moving away. Yugyeom sniffled before looking up, a new found fire burning in his eyes.

“We met some people, in the waiting room when you were unconscious,” He said shakily. Bam tensed next to him, neither of them looking at Jackson directly. “We stayed with them for two days, waiting for you to be allowed visitors.”

“Ah, I should thank them for taking care of my dongsaengs then.” Jackson smiled warmly, not sensing the tension in the air. Bambam’s fists shook from how tight he was clenching them at his sides. He had to swallow a shout.

“I don’t think they’d want to see you.” Bam said quietly. Jackson’s smile faded when he realized just how serious the boys were. Bambam was never quiet, and he never sounded that angry. Not at Jackson, at least. Jackson was his big brother in every sense of the word.

“Did something happen that I don’t know about-?” He asked, sounding more unsure than the two had ever heard.

“Hyungwon hyung said some interesting things,” Yugyeom said, just as quietly as Bambam. Jackson went white as a sheet as he mouthed Hyungwon’s name. Yugyeom knew that was going to be his reaction, but it still stung – it was all the confirmation he needed. “Tell me he was wrong. Jackson hyung, tell me Hyungwon hyung was wrong.”

“I don’t know what he told you, so how can I tell you he’s wrong?” Jackson let out a nervous chuckle, his chest burning. He never wanted the youngest to find out his dirty little secret. He did it for them, to pay for their rent and their tuition. Jackson had seen both come from dirt poor families, and when he took the boys under his wing, he vowed to make their lives as easy as possible – from buying groceries, to paying their parent’s rent, to selling people desperate for cash just to make extra to buy them nice things.

“Did you really…” Bam felt his throat close. “Did you really use people as prostitutes? Did you really use a debt to make people whore themselves out just to keep adding to the debt so they could never escape from-” He cut himself off, running out of breath. He knew if he kept talking, he would cry. Jackson looked at him with tears in his eyes before looking at his hands.

“I did a lot of things I’m not proud of,” He said quietly. Bambam and Yugyeom tensed, waiting for Jackson to continue. “But as your hyung, I’m willing to do anything for you guys. I was willing to do bad, bad things in the past and honestly? I’d do worse if it meant you were safe and happy.”

“Hyung…” Bambam didn’t know how to pinpoint his feelings. He was feeling betrayed, first and foremost. But he was also feeling guilt. Jackson felt the need to do such awful things for him. He also felt the slightest twinge of happiness – he was important enough to his hyung for Jackson to do what he did. That small bit of happiness was crushed by the reality of the situation.

“They told us about Changkyun,” Yugyeom said, sounding much more composed than Bam felt. Jackson closed his eyes and let his head dangle in defeat. “If he dies…”

“It’ll be my fault, I’m aware.” Jackson said, shocking both Bambam and Yugyeom.

“Why?” Bam’s voice cracked. Jackson kept his eyes closed and gave his lap a tight smile.

“To give you the things I never had.” He said sadly, defeat clear in his tone. Bambam and Yugyeom stood in silence until the nurse came in, informing them that visiting hours were over.

* * *

  
“They’re going to let me go home sometime tomorrow.” Jackson said to the two boys. After the almost three weeks that Jackson had been kept in the hospital, only Bambam and Yugyeom came to visit him. Mark called occasionally, but Jackson still wasn’t allowed to look at a screen for too long because of his head.

“That’s good to hear.” Yugyeom said faintly.

“I guess I’m going to have to find myself a decent job now, won’t I?” Jackson chuckled with little humor. The two boys flinched a little, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by the elder. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wincing a little as his fingers caught on the almost healed wound right on his hairline. “I talked to my lawyer yesterday. Apparently I’m getting a decent sum from the insurance because of the fire. Maybe I could try and start a new business.”  
Bambam and Yugyeom both spun around and stared at Jackson with more emotion than the older man had seen from them in weeks. Jackson could see the fear and disbelief written plainly in their eyes and with a shattering of his heart he realized they no longer trusted him.

“Not like before,” he quickly said, watching the two boys relax only the smallest amount. “I was thinking something… safe. Something… I don’t know. I was tossing around the idea of a bakery. You guys could come work for me, if you wanted to…”

“Hyung…” Yugyeom wanted to say something – anything. He wanted to ask how Jackson was trying to move on as if nothing had happened. Ask how he could be so calm after what he had done to innocent people. Ask how he expected the boys to forgive him – to trust him ever again – after lying and betraying them. Instead, Yugyeom let his voice fall silent.

“You don’t have to,” Jackson gave a bent smile and Gyeom felt a stab in his chest. He wanted to trust Jackson, but it wasn’t going to be easy. “I just… fuck. I messed up. Big time. I was so blinded by making money that I lost sight of why I started it in the first place. I got drunk on the power it gave me and I ruined people’s lives. I was careless and… and heartless. Frankly, I’m starting to think this fire was the best thing to happen to me. It’s given me a chance at a clean slate.”

“I think a bakery would be nice,” Bambam spoke up for the first time that day. “Maybe a café too.”

“I like the sound of that,” Jackson’s smile seemed more genuine, but Bambam and Yugyeom didn’t know what Genuine Jackson looked like anymore. Their hyung was no more than a stranger to them, and it scared them.

* * *

  
“So the therapy is helping?” Bambam asked as they started taking down the chairs for the breakfast rush. Less than a month after Jackson was released, they managed to buy a small building with a decently sized kitchen with the money Jackson had gotten from the insurance. Two weeks later and several all-nighters from Jackson, he was able to open his café. During that time, Yugyeom carefully brought up the idea of going to a therapist – to talk through the guilt that was keeping him awake half the time and the nightmares that kept him up the other half, and about helping Jackson change his way of thinking into something constructive.

“I think so,” Jackson said. He was happier. He had his hair dyed back to its natural brown and took out his piercings. He donated most of his clothing to the local shelter and bought more button downs and sweaters and shirts with silly sayings. “We’re working on talking through my episodes.”

Bam knew about Jackson’s episodes, where he gets unreasonably angry or unexplainably motivated. It was scary, watching the older man switch moods at the drop of a hat.

“And what did she say about the medication?” A sensitive topic, Bambam knew.

“She said the side effects were normal, but if I feel uncomfortable with taking them we can look for an alternative.” Jackson said softly, almost as if he was afraid. Bambam just grinned and took his hyung’s hand in his own.

“I’m really proud of you hyung,” He said with a bright smile. “Really, I am.”

Jackson had always been someone Bambam looked up to. Ever since he could remember – easily back before he even went into school, maybe earlier – he had idolized the other man. He wanted to be just like Jackson when he grew up, and it got him in his fair share of trouble. When Jackson started smoking, Bam stole some cigarettes and tried it himself. His mom caught him and grounded him for a month. When Jackson started dating, Bambam started looking for girls to kiss the way Jackson did. When Jackson began going through girlfriends like they were disposable, Bambam followed suit – marking him a fuckboy through his high school career.

When he learned what Jackson had done, Bam was horrified. Not entirely because of what the elder had done, but also because the boy could easily see himself falling into the same life his hyung had. All because he idolized the man.

When Jackson started to clean up his act, Bambam could breathe again. He saw his hyung better himself little by little. Gone were the sleazy button ups and leather pants, replaced with cotton shirt and warm sweaters. Gone was the blond hair that always made Jackson look just a little too intimidating, especially when it was slicked back, replaced with soft brown locks that fell comfortably against his forehead. Gone was the Jackson that let power control his emotions, replaced with a Jackson that genuinely did everything with his friend’s in mind.

Jackson, after several months, was finally someone Bambam could look up to.

“Hey Bam, did you want to go to the gym with me tonight?” The café closed around five, and Jackson went back in at three the next morning to make the breads for the day. The schedule seemed to do wonders for the man. His therapist had suggested working out as another form of structure, to give himself a healthy outlet for any not so healthy thoughts he might be having.

“Yeah, of course.” Bam replied with a smile, finally feeling like everything was going to be okay.

* * *

  
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to crash your practice?” Changkyun whispered to Kihyun as they entered the rec center. The girl at the desk waved them in without having to sign in, not sparing their guests a second glance.

“Of course,” Kihyun shot his boyfriend a lopsided smile. “And here I thought you wanted to see me dance…”

“I do!” Kyun quickly defended himself, cheeks flushing red. Kihyun laughed at his reaction as he placed his bag in a locker.

“I’m just teasing,” he said before kissing Changkyun’s nose. “Now, hurry up. The others are dying to see you.”

“I’m coming.” Changkyun grumbled, tossing his own bag of spare clothes into the same locker as Kihyun.

Changkyun followed Kihyun up a flight of steps and past the indoor track that ran the loop above the courts on the first floor. They walked towards the largest practice room in the center – Changkyun only knew that because he had caught a glimpse of the layout on the emergency fire route paper tacked to the wall. Kihyun pushed open the door and Changkyun was hit with a cacophony of voices, all of which quieted when Kihyun entered.

“Ch-Changkyun!?” Several voiced called out at once. Changkyun’s eyes widened comically when he realized who was part of the dance team Kihyun taught. Soonyoung, Chan and Jun were sitting on the floor, legs spread in a stretch. Minghao was standing above Jun, helping him with his straddle. Seungkwan and Vernon were off to the side with Josh, Seokmin and Jeonghan, talking about something with irritated but amused expressions.

As soon as Changkyun entered the room, all conversation stopped and everyone was suddenly staring at him.

“YOU’RE Kihyun’s boyfriend?” Soonyoung gasped, staring at how Kihyun was holding Changkyun’s hand.

“You’re just figuring this out?” Chan raised an unamused eyebrow. Soonyoung spluttered at the youngest’s lackluster response to finding out their Changkyun was dating their dance instructor.

“How would you know?” He shot back. Chan puffed up like he was going to fight but just as quickly deflated.

“We, um… spent a lot of time together,” He said softly, looking at the ground. “After the fire.”

“Oh…” Soonyoung, as excitable as he could be, was smart enough to drop the subject. Though they knew mostly what had happened, Chan and Hansol had yet to fully open up about their involvement with that night.

“Well, I hope everyone is stretched,” Kihyun said, clapping his hands as soon as Hoseok and Hyunwoo entered followed by their respective boyfriends. Changkyun, Hyungwon and Minhyuk – as well as Jooheon, though he was the only solo one there – stood off to the side. “Let’s show our audience a good performance, okay?”

Kihyun waited for them to get into place before hitting play on the radio Hyunwoo had brought in. Instantly, the dancers fell into performance mode, every move precise and in sync. It was almost scary how together the nine of them were. Changkyun glanced over and watched Kihyun following along, marking the choreography on the side. When the music ended, the nine dancer fell to the ground panting.

“Good work you guys.” Hyunwoo grinned brightly.

“Yeah, you get better each week.” Hoseok joined in, smiling just a wide. Changkyun could feel Hyungwon melt at Hoseok’s smile and felt a smile of his own lift his lips.

“Something is still missing…” Kihyun murmurs, more to himself than to the others.

“Take a five minute break,” Hyunwoo turned the music off distractedly as he looked at something on his phone. “I want to talk to Kihyun and Hoseok for a moment.” The three huddled in one corner as the dancers came to sit with Changkyun and the others.

“Well? What did you think?” Seungkwan asked excitedly, almost bouncing.

“You guys are crazy good,” Changkyun grinned. “I don’t know how you do that.”

“It’s not that hard,” Jun said as he ran a hand through his sweaty bangs. “It just looks impossible. Want to learn some of the moves?”

“Sure!” Changkyun’s face lit up at the offer. He hadn’t danced since the fire, and hadn’t danced for fun since graduating high school. Jun helped Kyun to his feet and made his way to the center of the room. He and Soonyoung took front as Changkyun, Jooheon, Hyungwon and Minhyuk filed in behind. Changkyun looked at himself in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize his reflection.

Jun was right. The choreography itself wasn’t that hard. It was just really fast, and looked impossible at full speed. While the three instructors were still talking, Changkyun learned more than thirty seconds of the dance. He hadn’t tried it to music, but he was loving the burn of his muscles and the sweat on the back of his neck. It was the innocent kind of dancing that made him remember why he loved it in the first place.

He was so caught up in learning the choreography, he didn’t pay attention to how aggravated Kihyun was becoming in his conversation.

Minhyuk suggested doing it with the music, and Jun joked that they weren’t ready.

“Try us.” Changkyun grinned and Jun matched the toothy smile. He put on the music, and Changkyun instantly knew he was out skilled. He barely stumbled through the chorus before the music abruptly cut off. He looked up and saw Hyunwoo smiling at them, an unreadable expression hidden behind the grin.

“I think we figured out what was missing,” he said, turning to Hoseok and Kihyun, who looked back in confusion. “We need more dancers. The choreography is good, but it looks too empty. If we got a few more people to join, it would look perfect.”

“Who though?” Kihyun asked, his voice sounding oddly clipped, as if he was trying to pretend the dance was what they were talking about.

“We could always ask Cheol hyung and the others?” Chan suggested casually. “I’m sure they’d have fun.”

“That’s a good idea, but I don’t know about their work schedules,” Soonyoung piped up. “I know Seungcheol and Jihoon both work at the pizza place down the road, and I think Wonu works at the library on campus, but I don’t know about Mingyu honestly.”

“We can just text them later,” Hansol said as he put the cap back on his water. “Like Chan said, they’d have a blast with this.”

“Changkyunnie, you did amazing.” Kihyun went over to nuzzle his nose into his boyfriend’s neck. They ignored the overdramatic gagging noises and wolf whistles.

“I barely landed a single step.” Changkyun blushed at the praise.

“You learned all of that in what, twenty minutes?” Kihyun pulled back with a grin and Changkyun felt his heart flutter. “It took these losers months just to learn the moves and even longer to actually get it right.”

“I resent that!” Soonyoung called from across the room and everyone laughed.

“Let’s go through it a few more times and we can call it a day,” Hoseok said, calling everyone’s attention. “If we can get the others to join, I’m going to be here Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as well if anyone wants to do extra practice. Let your friends know, okay?”

* * *

  
Two hours later, Changkyun was a puddle. After two run throughs, he decided he wanted to actually learn the choreography and threw himself into the music. By the end, he was almost in sync with the others. Key work: almost.

“You looked amazing,” Kihyun said softly as they made their way to the locker rooms. “Even with all the positions I’ve seen you in, you still managed to surprise me with what your body can do.” Changkyun blushed bright red and stumbled over his own foot.

“Kihyun,” he whined pathetically. “Not here…”

“If not here, than where?” Kihyun teased, loving the way his boyfriend’s face lit up with a blush.

“Wait till we get home,” Changkyun whispered into his ear. The hair on the back of Kihyun’s neck stood up. “Then I can really show you what I can do.”

“Oh god…” Kihyun couldn’t get back to the apartment quick enough.

The locker room was empty save their group and two others. Changkyun didn’t spare the strangers a second glance, having been taught from an early age to mind his own business in places like bathrooms and locker rooms.

He pulled his bag out of the locker and started to strip out of his drenched workout clothes. He didn’t avoid looking in the mirror, like he used to. Kihyun had scolded him when he found out, telling Changkyun that he was perfect, even with his scars. His eyes traced the pink scarring that covered his arms and torso. They had started to fade the slightest bit, and they didn’t hurt anymore. They were just visual reminders of something he would rather forget.

Just as he was about to pull a clean shirt on, he heard a gasp. Looking up, he made eye contact with one of the strangers. The second stranger, a younger boy, cursed colorfully under his breath as he tugged at the taller man’s shirt. He heard Jooheon let out his own stream of curses, his much worse than the boy’s.

He didn’t recognize the man at first, but when he did Changkyun thought he was going to throw up. He no longer had the slicked back blond hair that haunted Changkyun’s nightmares. Instead, his hair looked natural and cared for. His face wasn’t as sharp – he had gained some weight – and he wasn’t sporting any of the sleazy jackets or jewelry he had been so fond of. As completely different as the man in front of him looked, Changkyun could never forget him.

Jackson Wang was standing in front of him, looking at Changkyun with more horror than the younger had ever seen on another human being.

Changkyun turned around and threw up on the locker room floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay in updating! I've just been really busy. Depending on what's happening the next few days, I'm hoping to get the next chapter written and posted sometime before Sunday?  
> Thank you everyone for the support! This story has come to mean a lot more to me than I ever though it would and it makes my chest warm to know people are enjoying it!


	15. Coffee Cake

“Hyung, we’re leaving. Now.” Bambam grabbed Jackson’s sleeve and dragged him from the locker room. Jackson let himself be pulled without any resistance, his mind blank. It wasn’t until they made it to Jackson’s car that the older man spoke.

“His arms…” He sounded a thousand miles away. Bambam was actually scared to hear his hyung sound so shaken. Even after the fire Jackson was at least mentally present. Bam could see all the guilt therapy had been breaking down come rushing back. He carefully offered to drive, aware that Jackson behind the wheel could end badly.

“He’s okay though,” Bam said, rubbing his back reassuringly. “You saw him. He’s with his friends and boyfriend from the looks of it. They were laughing. He’s okay.”

“He saved my life,” Jackson lamented, hiding his face in his hands. Bambam nodded, having heard the story from Hyungwon. “After everything I did to him, he still saved my life. I would have died if he hadn’t carried me and his boyfriend out… after everything I did to him…”

“I think you guys are going to have to talk,” Bam said carefully, starting the car and turning on the radio to the classical station that Jackson liked. “But not yet. It looks like you both have some healing to do before you can cross that bridge.”

“I can never make it up to him…” Jackson said with a small voice. “And honestly, I don’t want him to accept my apology. I don’t deserve it…”

“Let’s go home hyung.” Bam said quietly, not knowing how to disagree with Jackson without lying outright.

* * *

  
“Changkyun!” Kihyun knelt next to the boy, who was emptying his stomach onto the floor. A small part of his mind commented on how it was lucky the floors of the locker room tile, with drains every couple of feet.

“I’m going to kill him.” Minhyuk growled, preparing to run after the two who had fled the building. Only Hyunwoo’s hand on his arm stopped him. Changkyun heaved once more before shakily standing.

“It’s fine,” He said, his words sounding rough. “I’m fine. I just… wasn’t expecting to see him.”

“He looked so different,” Jooheon murmured. “I almost didn’t recognize him.”

“We can go to the police,” Kihyun offered, his heart beating frantically. “Get… I don’t know. Get a restraining order or something.”

“A restraining order wouldn’t help much with random run-ins in public hyung.” Jooheon commented, handing Changkyun what was left of his water bottle. Soonyoung had taken Jun and Minghao to find a staff member, while Chan and Hansol subtly stood by Changkyun, almost as if to protect him. The others watched helplessly from around the locker room.

“I’ll have to talk to him eventually.” Changkyun said finally, shocking everyone.

“Changkyun, I swear you’ll never have to see him again-” Kihyun started, ready to fight anyone who hurt the younger boy. Changkyun cut him off with a wave of his hand and the writer fell silent, biting his bottom lip.

“No, I know this is something I have to do,” Changkyun said, sounding years older than he was. “I pulled him from the fire, after everything he did to me… this is something that needs closure. Just… not now.”

“You’re so brave,” Kihyun hugged the boy tight, almost as if he were afraid Changkyun would vanish from his embrace. “What did I do to deserve someone like you?”

“Let’s get Changkyun home,” Hoseok said quietly. Everyone silently agreed and finished changing before heading out the door. Just before Changkyun was about to follow, Hoseok pulled him back. Looking over, Kyun saw his whole friend group had also stayed behind – all looking worried. “We have to talk to you about something really quick.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Part of Changkyun knew it was a stupid question, but he was still worried. Hoseok shook his head and tried to give the younger boy a reassuring smile.

“Of course not Changkyunnie. We just… well…”

“Apparently the man they arrested in relations to the fire has been released due to lack of evidence,” Minhyuk said suddenly and Changkyun paled. “Hyunwoo saw the report during the practice… I only just found out myself.”

“What… what does that mean for me?” Changkyun tried to sound strong but it was obvious he was shaking.

“It means from now on one of us are going to accompany you whenever you leave the apartment,” Hyunwoo tried to sound as comforting as possible. “At least until this whole thing blows over, okay?”

“Alright.” Changkyun didn’t try to fight it. He knew it was for the best, and if he was being honest the idea of always having someone with him was beyond comforting.

“Let’s go to sleep, okay?” Kihyun tugged on Changkyun’s sleeve, leading the younger towards his room. Kihyun wanted to bring up moving into his own apartment together, but he knew Changkyun needed to be with his friends now more than ever so he held his tongue.

“Goodnight Kihyunnie.” Changkyun said sleepily. Kihyun smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Goodnight baby.” He said before pulling the younger boy close to him and falling asleep.

* * *

  
“Again?” Hyungwon raised an eyebrow when he walked into the kitchen. On the table was a now familiar box of pastries, for the seventh day in a row.

The first time, Minhyuk was wary enough to make sure no one ate them – because why would someone leave baked goods by their door without an ulterior motives? It wasn’t until Jooheon woke up late and, half asleep, ate one of the Danishes. The others watched in horror, but when the other youngest didn’t drop dead or foam at the mouth, they decided the gifts weren’t malicious. Every morning for seven days straight a box was found on the doorstep, and the one time Kihyun tried to catch the person leaving them he only managed to bring the box in while the food was still warm. Changkyun shrugged as he shoved half a donut in his mouth.

“I stopped questioning it.” The youngest said with his mouth full. Kihyun scolded him half-heartedly before helping himself to a chocolate croissant.

“Why have none of us tried to track the box?” Hyungwon questioned as he took a blueberry muffin. “I’m going to get fat…” He lamented under his breath before taking a huge bite of the muffin in hand.

“The box doesn’t have an address, and there’s nothing online about a place called ‘Coffee Cake’. It must be a new café or something. It still doesn’t explain anything.”

“What if whoever is doing this is leaving it for someone else but mixed up the apartment numbers?” Jooheon offered from the living room.

“This isn’t a shitty Hallmark movie,” Kihyun raised an eyebrow. “I honestly didn’t think this was going to keep going…”

“It’s free food! Why are you complaining?”

“It just seems… fishy…” Hyungwon said, narrowing his eyes at his half eaten muffin. Hoseok happened to walk in at that moment and chuckled at the look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Babe, you have crumbs on your face.” He said warmly as he used this thumb to brush the muffin bits away. Hyungwon, instead of getting embarrassed like he would have months ago, just smiled and kissed Hoseok’s thumb as it passed over his lips.

“Ugh, get a room you two.” Jooheon said with a groan and everyone chuckled. It wasn’t a secret that Jooheon was a little bitter about being the only single member of their friend group – going to far as to lament over how his cuteness was going to waste.

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you,” Hoseok said, his voice suddenly serious. Hyungwon’s soft smile dropped like a ton of bricks and everyone could see the exact thoughts racing through his mind. Hoseok instantly panicked and tried to fix the situation. “Oh shit, no it’s bad I promise! I just… I’ve been thinking some… about us and… um…”

“What is it?” Hyungwon prompted, still sounding close to tears. Hoseok licked his bottom lip and scratched the back of his head.

“Well… would you want to move in? With me, I mean… in the house…” He sounded meek, as if he was already expecting the other boy to say no.

“What about the rent here?” Hyungwon asked, shocked at the sudden offer. Sure, they had basically been living together for the past few months regardless, but officially moving in together was a big step in their relationship. Hoseok smiled sheepishly.

“I, uh, might have talked to Kihyun about it?”

“We’ve been talking a little,” Kihyun looked fondly at Changkyun for a moment before looking at the ground. “Um… we were thinking maybe Changkyun could move in with me in my apartment, then Jooheon and Minhyuk could get a smaller apartment together?”

“Wow, this is really bad timing,” Minhyuk said, not sounding sheepish in the slightest. In fact, he was grinning like the cat that got the canary. “Hyunwoo suggest me moving in with him last night…”

“Are we sure this isn’t a movie?” Jooheon deadpanned and everyone laughed.

“Well, this is something we’ll have to talk about as a family. Later though. I have a meeting with my editor that I’ve already pushed off twice.” Kihyun said as he placed a plate into the dishwasher. Changkyun glanced at Jooheon, who was silent on the couch.

“I’m going for a walk,” He said, jumping to his feet. Kihyun opened his mouth – most likely to offer to go with him – before Changkyun cut him off. “Jooheon hyung is coming with me.” He said, leaving no room for arguments. Jooheon just blinked and nodded faintly before standing and heading to the door.

“Don’t be out too late!” Minhyuk called as the front door closed behind them.

“Is everything alright Changkyunnie?” Jooheon asked on the elevator ride down. Changkyun glanced at him from the corner of his eye and frowned.

“I should be asking you that,” He said, watching Jooheon’s face smooth into a blank mask. “Something’s bothering you. I could tell from the other room.”

“It’s nothing important,” Jooheon said as he caught the elevator doors for a woman who was boarding. They left the apartment building and walked into the hot summer air.

“It’s just me being… weird I guess.”

“If it’s bothering you then it’s important to me.” Changkyun said, knowing fully well it was a sure fire way of getting the older boy to talk. As expected, Jooheon sighed and kicked a rock on the side walk before responding.

“Well, if you move in with Kihyun hyung… then Minhyuk hyung and Hyungwon hyung move in with Hyunwoo hyung and Hoseok hyung… where does that leave me?” A tear ran down his cheeks but Jooheon didn’t make a move to wipe it away. “I don’t want to be left behind but… I don’t want to be the reason you aren’t happy. I know you’d be so happy living with Kihyun hyung, and I know the others would be too… I just feel selfish for wanting things to stay the way they are. I’ve tried thinking about it logically, because there is technically a spare room at Hyunwoo hyung’s house but… I would feel like an extra piece. I wouldn’t really fit into their puzzle. I can’t dorm because I dropped out of school, and the thought of reenrolling makes me want to throw up. I just feel so scared because you’re all going to move on and forget about me and leave me behind…”

“Jooheon…” Changkyun’s mind was a mess. He never even considered that his best friend would be so upset by the idea of moving. Jooheon was always smiling and making jokes, but Changkyun should have known better. He knew his friend used jokes and sarcasm as a mask when he was scared or uncomfortable. “We’re never going to leave you behind. Ever.”

“I don’t want to hold you back Kyunnie. You deserve to be happy.” He smiled, and it broke Changkyun’s heart to see his friend’s dimples through his tears.

“Remember the pact we made? Before I went to the states for a while?” Changkyun asked, catching Jooheon’s wrist. The older boy nodded and wiped his cheeks with his free hand. A few people gave them looks as they were passed on the sidewalk, but neither cared.

“We were dumb enough to cut our palms and shake hands and everything.” Jooheon smiled a little at the memory. Changkyun took Jooheon’s left hand and held it palm up. The younger boy traced the small scar in the middle of his hand and fondly recalled how much bigger it seemed on their younger selves.

“We promised never to forget about each other,” Changkyun said, covering Jooheon’s scarred palm his with own. “And to never leave the other behind, no matter what. I love Kihyun, with my whole heart, but I would never let him come inbetween us. We’re brothers, remember? Nothing can break that bond.”

“I’m so scared…” Jooheon pulled Changkyun into a hug and buried his face in the younger boy’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll figure it out together, alright honey?” he said, holding his friend tightly. He felt Jooheon nod into his neck and smiled. “Come on, let’s get something to make us feel better. You want some coffee that’s more sugar than coffee?”

“You know me so well.” Jooheon sniffled and offered a watery smile of his own.

“If we keep walking, I’m sure we’ll run into a café eventually.” Changkyun took Jooheon’s hand and tugged him in the direction they had been walking to begin with.

The two walked in silence for a few blocks, just listening to the cars rushing past and the chatter of others out in the nice weather. Despite the heat, Changkyun didn’t let go of Jooheon’s hand, and the older boy didn’t seem inclined to do so either.

“Wait, is that a café?” Jooheon said, stalling in the middle of the sidewalk. Changkyun looked across the street and saw a little shop with blue and white striped umbrellas out front. He couldn’t see a sign because of the trees between them and the shop, but he saw people leaving the store with various beverages so he assumed Jooheon was right.

“Come on, let’s check it out.” Changkyun snickered as he tugged Jooheon along.

“Wait, there’s traffic!” Jooheon tried to drag the younger to the crosswalk that was less than three car lengths away but Changkyun stuck his tongue out.

“Let’s play frogger,” He grinned and Jooheon found it contagious. “Last one across buys the drinks!”

“You brat-” Jooheon managed to say before Changkyun darted out into the road. He followed behind, making sure to stay a safe distance from oncoming cars. Changkyun ended up making it to the opposite sidewalk first, but the younger already planned on paying regardless of who won. “You’re going to get us killed.” Jooheon panted as they took in the store.

The window was painted with old timey writing that said ‘The Coffee Cake’ with a picture of a cartoon muffin that had eyes and a wide smile, like food would have in old animations. The blue and white of the umbrellas matched the exterior of the shop, where little flowerboxes were filled with blossoms of the same colors.

“Oh damn, this is where those pastries keep coming from,” Changkyun mentioned. “It looked pretty new. That’s probably why we haven’t been able to find it anywhere online.”

“Hello! Is there anything I can help you with?” A young man with black hair, braces and defined cheekbones asked with a smile.

“Honey, you order first.” Changkyun offered, his eyes still scanning the menu.

“Can I get uh…” Jooheon squinted, and not for the first time Changkyun thought about taking his friend to get glasses. “Can I get a large mocha latte?”

“You want a hot drink in this weather?” Changkyun raised an eyebrow at his friend, who shrugged in defense.

“We can make it iced it you want.” The kid behind the counter offered. Jooheon smiled and nodded. The boy typed something into the tablet on the counter before looking to Changkyun.

“Could I get a large strawberry raspberry iced tea?” He asked and the boy nodded a second time.

“Anything else?”

“I think we’re good.”

“Alright, I’ll make those now and you can pay at the end of the counter when you pick them up.” The boy said as he reached for two large cups.

“Jeongin, do we need more muffins?” A voice called from behind the white saloon style doors seperting the front from the kitchen. Changkyun and Jooheon froze.

“Nah, we’re good for now Jackson hyung,” Jeongin called back, eyeing the sweets case. “Though we could use some more Danishes. We were a little low after your delivery this morning.”

“Alright, I’ll throw some in the oven now.” Jackson came out, wiping his hands with a ragged towel. He scanned the café with a fond look before his eyes landed on Changkyun and Jooheon, who were staring at the man like deer caught in headlights. Jackson froze, leaving the three in a suffocating standoff.

“Here are your drinks!” Jeongin said happily, not noticing the tension in the air. “You’re total is-”

“It’s on the house Jeonginnie.” Jackson said quietly, sounding shaken. Jeongin just blinked at him with wide, trusting eyes before shrugging.

“Alright, here you go,” He placed the cups on the counter and smiled at the boys. “We hope to see you again!”

“Jackson…” Changkyun could hear his heart beating louder than the muffled talking of the shop. He stared at Jackson, and for the first time saw something in the man’s eyes that he never thought he would see.

He saw remorse – such a human emotion that Changkyun doubted Jackson even had the capacity to feel it. Remorse and guilt and something else the boy couldn’t identify. He only broke eye contact when he felt Jooheon tug on his arm. Changkyun almost gave in and let his friend pull him away, but something in his chest told him to stay.

“Are you the one leaving the boxes at our apartment every morning?” Changkyun asked, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. Jackson looked down and swallowed visibly.

“Um, yeah… that was me,” He said softly, and Changkyun was once again shocked at how much emotion was in his voice now. “I still had your address and… I know it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface but I figured it was something I was actually able to do.”

“Well, you can stop it-” Jooheon started before Changkyun cut him off.

“Your café seems to be doing well.” His words were guarded, calculated, and Jackson could sense that.

“I’m really proud of it,” he said, the fond smile from before returning as he looked around. “I used the insurance money and what I had saved up to buy the shop and the apartment above. I figured I would run it mostly by myself but some of the seniors from the high school asked for part time jobs and they’ve been amazing. We’ve only been open for about two months but… I think this is what I was meant to do.”

“I’m… happy for you,” Changkyun felt himself saying. Jackson looked up at him, shock written across every inch of his face. “The club… it never felt right. This place… it feels right, somehow. I don’t even know if that makes sense…”

“No, that makes sense,” Jackson’s look of shock faded to something warm. “I think it feels right too…”

“Jackson, what you did was inexcusable, and you really fucked a lot of people over with your shitty choices,” Changkyun started, and Jackson turned his head away as if expecting to be hit. “But… you’ve really made an effort to change. I never thought I would say this, but you seem like a person someone could look up to now.”

Jackson opened his mouth to respond, but instead ended up with tears running down his face. His eyes were wide and staring at Changkyun like he was an angel that suddenly walked down from the sky. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he couldn’t seem to find a single word.

“Yeah, well, I still don’t forgive you,” Jooheon snapped, his words holding less of an edge than before. “We’re leaving Changkyun.”

As Jooheon tugged him from the café, Changkyun couldn’t help but reflect on the man behind the counter.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of wrapping this story up soon but I don't quite know how. I have a few ideas but nothing solid yet. If anyone has any ideas let me know!  
> It's going to take at LEAST one more angsty drop before everyone gets their happy ending. Well, almost everyone...


	16. Beginning to Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to rush to work so I didn't get the change so fully edit but then again even when I edit there are still mistakes that slip by so I guess it's fine!

“Hyungwon, I swear to god if there’s something nasty on your floor I’m going to strangle both of you.” Minhyuk grumbled as he let himself into the younger boy’s room. It looked about the same as usual, the bed unmade and a small pile of clothes on a chair but relatively neat otherwise. Hyungwon had taken to the habit of taking dishes into his room and leaving them there, and it was driving everyone crazy.

His eyes zeroed into the desk that was – unsurprisingly – covered in dishes. Minhyuk pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow as he swooped in and started gathering them in his arms. He never expected to play mom to three ungrateful sons, but since the addition of Hyunwoo and Kihyun into their groups he’s been able to let them take over the parental positions.

He managed to grab three plates, two mugs and four glasses before he couldn’t balance anymore. Taking the first trip to the kitchen, he huffed as he filled the sink. Hyungwon was lucky Minhyuk enjoyed doing the dishes, the older boy thought bitterly.

He went back and gathered the last few dishes he wasn’t able to snag the first time when something caught his eye. He was hit with nostalgia when he saw a corner of silver peeking out from under a cloth, but he didn’t quite know why. He dumped the second load of dishes into the sink and moved to hover at the doorway.

Minhyuk knew he shouldn’t snoop. The last time he had done that, he found a box of items he needed to bleach his eyes to get the image of out of his mind. He knew better, but there was something tugging his chest that made him go back into Hyungwon’s room and to the younger boy’s desk. His hand seemed to move on its own as he moved the small cloth back. He took a step back, as if whatever was under the cloth was dangerous – and in a sense it was.

On the desk was a simple hairclip. It was made of mental, and looked like a small branch of flowers. Minhyuk could see some soot still lodged in the deeper crevices of the clip, bit the petals and leaves were shining as if freshly polished. Minhyuk remembered the last time he saw the clip –The day of the fire.

He would always get compliments when he wore it, but no one knew the reason. Hyungwon speculated it was because the clip was a security blanket of sorts once when they were talking late at night, and Minhyuk didn’t have it in him to correct the other boy.

Minhyuk picked up the clip and ran his thumb along the end of the stem. He winced when the metal slit his skin like paper. He had sharpened the end of the clip for that exact reason, so in a sense it was like a security blanket. A very sharp, very addictive security blanket.

No one in his life currently knew Minhyuk before the club, something he was grateful for. His high school life wasn’t… something he wanted people to know him for. When he came out, there was the expected reaction. His friends stopped associating with them, people wrote on his locker with markers that wouldn’t come off, his projects and papers would mysteriously go missing right before the die date. He handled all of that as well as a sixteen year old could.

He handled it, but not without his self-esteem taking a huge toll. He started listening to the rumors – if they were going to talk behind his back, they might as well be telling the truth, right? He heard a rumor that he had a tongue piercing, and the next Monday he came in with a little silver ball in the middle of his mouth. There was a rumor that he was sleeping with various members of the sports teams at school, so he did. It wasn’t hard to convince the jocks to fuck him, especially when he told them he could dress like a girl to make it more real for them. They were easily convinced. There was a rumor that he smoked, so he bought a pack of cigarettes at the corner store that’s known for not caring about the ages of their customers.

There was a rumor that Minhyuk was a cutter, so he tried it.

Once turned into twice, which turned into a daily ritual. He never expected it to get out of hand, but it did, and once he started it was almost impossible to stop.

Senior year of high school he was transferred to an online program to finish the curriculum and still graduate on time. No one knew what had happened. There were whispers that he had killed someone and was hiding from the police. That his parents finally had enough of their son being gay and sent him to a place that would straighten him out. That he found a rich sugar daddy and moved far across the country to be with him.

None of them knew the truth.

Minhyuk had tried to kill himself, and failed.

After he had graduated and finished the therapy sessions his parents set up for him, he moved out. At first it was a shitty one room apartment that was nothing more than a shower head and toilet in one corner, a mini fridge in another and a mattress on the bare cement floors. The night he moved in, he saw the lights from a club across the street spilling through the curtain less window. He went to see what it was, and knew what he had to do.

As he danced, he fell back into bad habits. He was nothing more than a piece of meat to be stared at and lusted over. He felt the way he did back in high school, when he would let the jocks pound into him as they called the names of their girlfriends instead of Minhyuk’s own. Used. Worthless.

He found the clip at a table set up on the side of the road. An old woman was selling knick knacks and dried herbs, probably to pay rent knowing the area. Minhyuk normally kept his head down when he would pass tables like that, but the silver caught his eye.

The woman charged him as much as a meal at the local fast food place for the clip, and Minhyuk instantly knew she had under charged him. Maybe it was the soulless look in his eye, or the small smile that graced his lips when he saw it. He bowed low and tried to give her more, but she refused. She smiled warmly at the boy, a knowing look painted across her aged face.

That night, Minhyuk accidently pricked his finger on the bottom of the clip and he was struck with a horrid idea. He looked up how to sharpen a knife and honed an edge on the clip. It sang as it bit through his too pale skin, on his too thin thigh. After he cleaned up, Minhyuk placed the clip in his hair and was finally able to smile again.

In a sense, it was a security blanket.

When he met Hyungwon, they instantly clicked. Maybe it was because they were both there for different reasons that boiled down to necessity. Maybe it was because neither had much of a spark in their eyes. Hyungwon moved into Minhyuk’s shitty apartment after his at the time boyfriend kicked him out of the one they shared. Hyungwon had shown up at his doorstep, crying silently as blood poured from his temple and down his pant leg. He finally made a noise when Minhyuk pulled him into a tight embrace, sobbing and shaking.

He finally confessed to the older boy that his boyfriend had been forcing himself on him to the point where he would bleed every time, then yelled at him when he cried. That night had been the final straw, and his boyfriend had dumped him – told him to get his things and leave. He had a single duffle bag and a ratty old backpack to hold all of his worldly belongings.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk shared the old mattress in the shitty apartment for a few months, until two new faces appeared in the club. The second Minhyuk saw the boys walk into the club, he wanted to scream at them to turn around and never look back, but he couldn’t. He was performing and he couldn’t break character.

Minhyuk instantly loved Changkyun and Jooheon. The two were proud and vibrant, something his life had been lacking. Within a month, the four of them were talking about renting a better apartment together. A week after the talk, they were touring a building not far from the club that was mostly rented by the elderly and those who didn’t like people. The rent was low, even for a four room apartment.

His habit had waned some when it was just he and Hyungwon in the shitty apartment with no shower curtain or kitchen but when he was given his own room things got bad again. He knew none of them expected him to take care of them, but he was the oldest. He was supposed to make sure everything was okay.

So when Changkyun started to lose weight and look like he was a second from collapsing, Minhyuk blamed himself. He was the oldest, and yet he was allowing his youngest to waste away. Minhyuk, knowing the signs, watched Changkyun closely, to see if he started wearing long sleeves in the summer, or if his fingers subconsciously brushed against his thigh, like Minhyuk’s own did. When he didn’t see any of the signs, he let himself relax the smallest amount. He stilled checked in on Changkyun nightly, waiting until he saw the tell-tale sign of the younger boy’s chest rising and falling before closing the door and letting himself fall asleep.

He hurt himself a lot during that time. He felt so guilty that he couldn’t save the people he cared for the most. He couldn’t do anything to protect them, and it was killing him.

The night he met Hyunwoo, things started to change. At the game night, the only looks he had been given from the elder were soft and warm. None of the glaring lust that came from the customers he danced for. Hyunwoo was just like his looks – soft and warm. Falling into a pattern with Hyunwoo was as effortless as breathing. He had tucked the clip away, not wanting to be tempted now that he was finally starting to be happy.

When Hyunwoo found out, it was an accident. Minhyuk had just come out of the shower and the towel around his waist was open slightly on the side, leaving his scarred thigh exposed for anyone to see. Minhyuk had thought the older man would have been disgusted, or angry. Instead. Hyunwoo made him tea and let Minhyuk cry into his shoulder. He never brought it up, unless the younger hinted that he wanted to talk. Hyunwoo didn’t treat Minhyuk like he was broken, or that he was fragile. He treated the younger the same as always, with care and love.

Minhyuk had purposely lost the clip the night of the fire. He had finally felt confident enough in his mental state that he didn’t need it anymore. He had put it in the trash, buried under layers of trash and papers.

Seeing it again after all those months made his stomach drop to the floor. He held the small metal clip in shaking fingers, not caring that the cut on his thumb was covering the flowers, turning the silver blossoms red as if they were alive.

Without thinking, he brought the end to his arm, not planning on actually making a mark. He just wanted to feel the sharp edge against his skin, nothing more. Just as he was about to make contact, Hyungwon’s door burst open. The loud noise startled Minhyuk, who accidentally slipped and slit his arm, right below his elbow.

“Hyung why are you- oh shit!” Hyungwon rushed over, his eyes widening at how much blood was beading up along the slit.

“I’m sorry Hyungwonnie,” Minhyuk whispered, staring at his arm. “I shouldn’t have snooped but we were out of plates and you had some on your desk and…”

“How did you-?” Hyungwon frantically held some tissues to Minhyuk’s arm. “Fuck, okay it’s not that bad… there’s just… a lot of blood. Okay, let’s go to the bathroom.”

Minhyuk could tell Hyungwon was rambling on to keep himself calm, and he appreciated the gesture because if Hyungwon were to start freaking out, Minhyuk would soon follow suit. Hyungwon had him sit on the toilet seat as he dabbed at the wound carefully. He was right, the cut wasn’t actually that deep - it just seemed scarier because of the red oozing out.

Hyungwon bandaged his arm with light touches, apologizing under his breath anytime Minhyuk would flinch. When he was done, Hyungwon just kneeled in front of the Minhyuk, who was looking blankly at the bandages on his arm.

“I thought you had stopped.” Hyungwon broke the silence, startling Minhyuk.

“You knew?” Minhyuk’s heart stuttered. Hyungwon tilted his head to the side, as if he was trying to solve a difficult problem.

“I’m not blind hyung,” He said softly. “I saw your leg when you showered, back before we moved here… I should have said something but I saw that you were trying to stop… at least that’s what it looked like to me. They were less, with more time inbetween. Plus… if you wanted to talk about it I figured you would come to me first…”

“I’m sorry…” Minhyuk said sadly as silent tears ran down his face.

“You don’t have to-” Hyungwon licked his lips before taking a deep breath. “I noticed the clip was kinda sharp but I never… is that what you used?”

“Yeah…” Minhyuk felt shame flood his body.

“I thought you wore it because it made you look cute.” Hyungwon continued, the feeling of guilt eating away at him.

“It gave me a sense of control,” Minhyuk said, almost afraid to look at the younger. “I never thought I would see it again… I’m sorry…”

"I’m sorry for bringing it back. I went to the club a while back when I couldn’t sleep and found it in the ashes. I thought it would make you happy if I cleaned it up and gave it back… I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Oh, Hyungwon no… it’s not your fault. You had no idea…” Minhyuk was crying harder now.

“Let’s get rid of it, okay?” Hyungwon stood and helped Minhyuk to his feet. The elder followed the younger back to the room, where the clip was still sitting on the desk, flowers bleeding red. Hyungwon picked it up and wrapped it in some tissues before taking long strides out of the apartment. Minhyuk followed behind, feeling apprehensive for a reason he couldn’t pin point. He followed Hyungwon to the back of the apartment building, where the dumpsters were. Using his long arms, Hyungwon launched the clip into the farthest dumpster, smiling when he heard the wrapped metal clang against the side.

“It’s gone.” Hyungwon said, pulling Minhyuk into a hug.

“It’s gone.” Minhyuk repeated, his chest feeling light.

“Let’s go back inside,” Hyungwon offered, taking Minhyuk’s hand. “The other’s will be home soon and I want to shower before the bathroom gets hogged.”

They started back towards the building, only to have Minhyuk stop. His sudden halt tugged at Hyungwon, who paused to look back at the elder. Minhyuk smiled warmly and stood on his toes to place a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek. Hyungwon just blinked at him with wide, owl like eyes.

“Thank you,” Minhyuk smiled, his own eyes curving up into crescents. “For finding it and thinking of me… and for helping me get rid of it… and for not getting mad at me.”

“Hyung, I could never be mad at you for something like this,” Hyungwon took Minhyuk’s hands in his own. “I know how hard it can be, and I just wanted to make you smile… You’ve been so worried lately. I’m just really glad you have Hyunwoo hyung now. You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you,” Minhyuk fired back, his soft smile turning into a shit eating grin. “Though I do worry about some of the sounds I hear coming from your room at night.”

“Ya!” Hyungwon instantly flushed bright red as he ripped his hands away from a cackling Minhyuk. “Way to ruin the moment, asshole!”

“Ah, you love me though.” Minhyuk winked and Hyungwon groaned.

“Unfortunately,” He rolled his eyes and booked it back to the building. “You’re making dinner tonight.”

“Hey, it’s your turn though!” He called after Hyungwon, who had already disappeared into the building. Minhyuk sighed and shook his head, smiling. He really was grateful to have people like Hyungwon in his life.

* * *

  
Changkyun walked with Jooheon to his left and Kihyun to his right. His friends had stayed true to their word back in the locker room. The youngest hadn’t left the apartment alone once, more often accompanied by two or three friends. Somehow, Kihyun had gotten ahold of Chan and Seungcheol, who found their way to Changkyun anytime he wanted to leave the apartment.

Surprisingly, Wonwoo was the one the one who seemed to catch on the easiest. As soon as Changkyun was starting to get antsy, he would see a message from the other boy, asking to get coffee or go for a walk. Changkyun was grateful for his friends, more than he could ever express, but there was something he needed to do that he couldn’t with everyone hovering.

One day, when Jooheon was taking a nap and the others were out at work, Changkyun snuck out of the apartment.

The entire trip to the café, Changkyun was on edge. His phone was out, with emergency services dialed and his thumb hovering over the call button just in case. He jumped at any sound, and halfway there he found himself thinking he made a huge mistake. Once he got there, however, he knew deep down it was the right decision.

“Ch-Changkyun…” Jackson spluttered from behind the counter when the younger made the bell above the door chime. There was a new kid working behind the counter, with soft grey curls and a wide nose.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” The boy asked with an obvious accent. It took Changkyun all of two seconds to place it.

“Do you speak English?” He asked, in English. The boy behind the counter’s lit up and he grinned wide.

“Aye, I do!” He said, his Australian accent thicker than Changkyun expected. “Wot can I getcha?”

“I’ll have the iced green tea. A large please?”

“Comin roight up.”

“Thank you Chan,” Jackson said as he moved around the boy. “Changkyun, are you okay being here?” he asked, sounding uncertain.

“Um, to be completely honest I’m not sure,” he responded, still hesitant to look at Jackson. “But something told me I needed to talk to you, without Jooheon or anyone hovering.”

“Would you want to come into the kitchens? It can get a little noisy out here.” The man offered, looking unsure of himself, yet another thing Changkyun never thought Jackson was capable of being. The younger boy nodded and followed Jackson behind the counter and through the saloon doors into a decent sized kitchen.

There were three large metal tables in the middle, all holding either cooking equipment or dough in various stages of being made into something. There was a large metal door, which Changkyun guessed went to a fridge or freezer, and two large ovens. There were several workers bustling around, including the boy – Joengin, he faintly recalled his name. Jackson walked over to one of the tables where some dough was sitting and began cutting the pieces to be twisted into pretzels.

“Changkyun?” Another voice called from the front. A boy, younger than Chan with fluffy blond hair and a face of freckles, poked his head back and grinned wide when he saw the stranger in the kitchen. “Oi, ya drink is ready. Kangaroo hyung said ya spoke English?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” Changkyun was a little startled by how energetic the boy was. “Thanks for the drink. Tell Chan thanks too?”

“Ah, it’s good ta speak ta someone in a language I’m actually good at,” The boy laughed and smiled. Changkyun felt himself smiling back. “I’ll tell ‘im ya said thanks.”

“Thanks Felix-ah.” Jackson smiled at the boy, who returned the smile with a thumbs up. Felix ducked back out from the doors, presumably to help Chan with the counter.

“The kids that work here seem pretty cool.” Changkyun commented as he sipped his drink. Jackson kept twisting the pretzels with a faint smile.

“They’re the best,” Jackson shook his head a little, his brown bangs falling in his eyes some. “You know, they all came to me at the same time. The older ones, they’re like the parents of their little group. Chan actually already graduated – him and Woojin over there. Both of them agreed to not go off to college so they could take care of the others. They’re working here to pay for online school right now. If I had enough to pay their tuition, I would, but the café is still too new… they call themselves the Stray Kids because they only have each other. The nine of them… they don’t have anyone other than themselves. I only know the basics, but it’s heartbreaking. As soon as I heard why Chan needed a job, I couldn’t say no. I know I’m already paying them more than most jobs would pay adults but I wish there was more I could do.”

“That’s… amazing.” Changkyun whispered, watching the boys in the background work.

“Chan was orphaned and ran away from the orphanage at sixteen,” Jackson said quietly, his eyes turning glassy. “Jisung and Jeongin were kicked out of their homes for being gay. Minho was beaten for wanting to be a dancer instead of a lawyer like his father. Felix dropped out of high school because he was bullied for being a foreigner and for being a little strange. As far as I know, they were all staying in the apartment that Chan and Woojin were renting. Apparently, the nine of them shared three beds… I offered them the apartment above the shop but they refused. Between the nine of them, they were able to get a better place to stay now that they all have jobs. I’m staying up there now, but… I don’t know. I guess it gets a little lonely. Bam and Yugyeom come to visit when they can, but they’re busy with school…”

“Jackson, why did you do it?” Changkyun asked almost silently. Jackson tensed, his fingers freezing before he continued working. “Why did you do all those things when you… you care so much about these kids, and for Bambam and Yugyeom… why did you let yourself become a monster?”

“Because I was afraid,” He answered honestly. “I’ve known Gyeom and Bam since they were little. I’ve seen the way they were raised. I’ve spend birthdays with them were all their families could afford was a single cupcake and a candle. I was afraid, because I grew up the same way. I wanted to do anything in my power to give them the life I was never able to have. I wanted them to be happy, and I got carried away. When I opened the club, I was finally able to do that. I was able to buy Bam his first car. I was able to pay Yugyeom’s tuition when he did summer classes at the local college online because he’s just so damn smart that his financial situation shouldn’t hold him back. I was able to keep Bam’s mother from losing her house and paid her medical bills when she had a heart attack. The more successful the club was, the more I could support them. It became an obsession, and I lost sight of who I was. There were times I would go home and I wouldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror. A few times – times I was more lucid I guess – I knew how awful my actions were and I tried to think of a way to fix things… but then I saw their faces when I was able to help them and I just… let it happen. Changkyun, I can never even hope for you to believe me but… when I first opened the club, the first thing I bought was food for Bambam and his mother. I’ll never forget how hard their cried when I filled their fridge for the first time in months. I can’t remember a single moment before that time that the two of them had enough food to fill their fridge…”

Changkyun didn’t say anything as tears ran down Jackson’s face. The younger put his half-finished drink down and washed his hands at the little sink nearby before standing next to Jackson and taking a chunk of dough himself Jackson dropped his pretzel in shock, but Changkyun still didn’t say anything. He just began making his own pretzels and placing them on the tray.

“I don’t know if I should forgive you.” Changkyun said carefully, and Jackson licked his bottom lip.

“You shouldn’t.” The man said before Changkyun could finish his sentence. The boy huffed and grabbed more dough.

“I don’t know if I should forgive you,” He said again, twisting the dough easily. “But… if I were in your position… it’s not hard to believe that innocent intentions turned sour. You didn’t start out wanting to ruin my life and hurt my friends.”

“Oh god no,” he gasped, fighting tears again. “That was never my goal…”

“I know… which is why I think I’m going to give you another chance.” Changkyun said, surprising both of them.

The half twisted pretzel in Jackson’s hands flew across the kitchen as he tensed. All Changkyun could hear was his blood rushing loudly through his ears. The tension was so strong that he thought he was going to suffocate. Thankfully, a cry from across the room made the tension disappear instantly.

“Ya, hyung what the hell?” Felix had just walked into the kitchen, and was trying to pull the dough from his hair without rubbing it in more. Jackson and Changkyun both stared at the boy in shock before bursting into laughter. “If we’re throwing dough now, you better watch out!” He balled the dough from his hair and wound back his arm as if to throw it at Jackson, who raised his hands to block the projectile.

“We are not throwing dough!” One of the older boys – Woojin, the boy Jackson kept gesturing to when speaking of him – smacked Felix in the back of the head hard enough to make the taller boy stumble forward.

“No need to be so rough,” he mumbled, going over to a boy Changkyun hadn’t been introduced to. He was shorter than all the others, with shaved sides and black hair. He smiled brightly as Felix went over, his dark expression evaporating in a second. “Binnie, hyung hit me.” He whined, causing the other boy to smile wider.

“You deserved it.” He shrugged and Felix whined louder, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s shoulders.

“This place… it’s good. It’s good for them, and for you.” Changkyun said quietly to Jackson, who just smiled.

“I’m happy here,” He said, sounding like a new man. “I’m proud of these boys.”

“I need to go soon, but thank you,” Changkyun said, putting his pretzel on the tray. “For explaining everything to me. I think I understand a little better.”

“Thanks for coming by. You’re welcome anytime, if you want to help out or want something. It’s all on the house for you and your friends.” Jackson smiled brightly and Changkyun gaped.

“Can you do that?” He raised his eyebrow and Jackson laughed.

“It’s my café. I can do whatever I want.” He grinned, and Changkyun found himself grinning back.

“I really need to get back. I snuck out and I’m sure Jooheon is about to call the cops.” The younger boy grimaced and Jackson’s grin faded.

“Snuck out?” He questioned and Changkyun shrugged.

“The guy they think set the fire was released from custody, so my friends don’t want me going out alone. I snuck out to come here because I knew they wouldn’t have let me otherwise.”

“Changkyun, that’s dangerous!” Jackson scolded, putting his hands on his hips. Changkyun was hit with the realization that in another time line – one where he met Jackson at the Coffee Cake and worked for the man as a barista – things would have been so much different.

“I know… I just…” Changkyun trailed off, feeling thoroughly scolded.

“Let me walk you home,” Jackson said, already moving to wash his hands. “Woojin, can you boil these pretzals for tomorrow?” he called to the boy who nodded and swooped in to grab the tray.

“You don’t have to do that.” Changkyun was caught off guard, but Jackson insisted.

“It’s my fault this guy is targeting you, and you took a risk just to talk to me and get my side of the story,” He said firmly. “The least I can do is make sure you get home safe.”

“I…” Changkyun didn’t fight it, knowing he wasn’t going to win. He grabbed the rest of his drink and followed Jackson to the front, where the man was already filling a box with sweets. He shoved them into Changkyun’s hands as he told Chan to watch over the café until he got back.

They walked in silence most of the way, Changkyun still on edge at any shadow that he caught from the corner of his eye. At one point, Jackson carefully steered Changkyun so he was away from the alleyways as they walked, just in case. They stopped in front of the apartment building and hesitated. Changkyun didn’t know what to say, but Jackson spared him the awkwardness.

“Hey, I was serious. Stop by whenever okay?” Jackson said, obviously wanting to pat Changkyun on the arm.

“I will. I want to talk with Chan and Felix more. It’s been ages since I’ve been able to have an actual conversation in English. The others try but it’s not the same.” He laughed a little and Jackson followed suit.

“Well, thanks again for stopping by,” He said again, sounding distant. “And I was serious. If you or any of your friends wants anything, it’s yours okay?”

“Thanks Jackson.” Changkyun bowed a little before rushing into the building. He let out a shaky breath as soon as he got on the elevator when he realized how close he had been to adding hyung onto the end of Jackson’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be... rough. I'm thinking two, maybe three more chapters


	17. Forgivness

“I don’t feel comfortable with this.” Jooheon said for probably the tenth time in as many minutes. Changkyun just shook his head a little.

“Hyung, I told you. I’m not going to be alone. A friend is meeting me out front and we’re going to hang out for a few hours.” He explained – again. Jooheon narrowed his eyes at his friend and pursed his lips in an obvious sign of unhappiness but finally signed and made a face.

“I guess I can’t really stop you,” He said, sounding more than irritated. “You’re a not a kid anymore, but are you sure it’s going to be safe? We still haven’t heard anything about that guy, and after everything that’s happened…”

“I promise I’ll be okay,” Changkyun was going to say more to reassure his friend but just then his phone vibrated. He checked it and saw Chan had messaged him that he was there. “He’s here, but I’ll be home for dinner alright?”

“Alright…” Jooheon muttered, still not happy. “I don’t even know who these people are. Who are you spending so much time with?”

“You’ll meet them eventually, if you want.” The younger boy said as he slipped on his shoes.

“You know, Kihyun hyung misses you.” Jooheon’s voice dropped almost to a whisper. Changkyun froze, his heart skipping a beat from the guilt. He wasn’t trying to avoid his boyfriend – he actually missed Kihyun more than anything in the world – but with the elder’s book finally coming along, Kihyun had been spending more and more time at the little coffee shop around the corner, the one where they met the second time, with his headphones in, trying to make the deadline for the manuscript. Between that and Changkyun’s three-to-four times a week visits to the Coffee Cake, Changkyun and Kihyun only ever really saw each other before going to bed.

“I miss him too, but as soon as he finishes his manuscript we’ll have more time together.” Changkyun felt the guilt prick at his heart from not being completely honest with his hyungs, but he knew it wasn’t the right time.

Just like it wasn’t the right time to talk to Jackson at the gym, this wasn’t the right time to introduce Jooheon and the others to the new, gentle man Changkyun has been getting to know from the café.

It hurt Changkyun, knowing that in another world – the same one where he met Jackson at the café and worked for him making donuts and sugary drinks – Jooheon would have loved the man. The other boy would have idolized Jackson for who he was now. Jooheon would have learned how to make coffees and most likely invent some new sort of pastry that would make the café famous in the area. Changkyun and Jooheon would have another hyung to care for them and everything would be okay. But it wasn’t.

“Stay safe, okay? Text me if you need anything.” Jooheon sounded resigned, and Changkyun felt another stab of guilt go through his chest as he slipped out the front door.

For the past month and a half, one of the staff from The Coffee Cake would meet Changkyun at the front door of his apartment building and walk him back to the café. With the chill of fall finally starting to settle in, the walks turned from lazy strolls where the boys would stall and goof around to brisk strides with one destination in mind.

“There you are!” Chan greeted him happily, his curls tucked away in a beanie and the bottom half of his face hidden in a scarf. Changkyun grinned at the other boy.

“It’s not that cold out man.” He said in English – another thing he loved about his new friends. He didn’t realize how much he missed the stupid jokes and references that only worked in English until he heard Felix quoting an old vine.

“I’m still not used to this kinda weatha.” Chan pouted behind his scarf and Changkyun laughed.

“Dude, you’ve lived here for how many years?”

“Only four… it’s not long enough ta get me used ta such sub-zera numbas.” Chan shuttered as a brisk breeze knocked him off step.

“Well, we’re almost there, if you think you can beat me.” Changkyun grinned at his friend, who started to race him to the café. Changkyun ended up winning the race, bursting through the café doors just moments before Chan, startling the customers who looked shocked until they recognized the two boys.

“Guys, you’re going to break that door if you keep slamming it open so hard.” Woojin scolded them as he filled a ceramic mug with something steaming.

“Nah, we’re careful.” Changkyun said, knowing fully well that he was indeed not being careful in the slightest.

“Ah, and here I was afraid you guys had gotten lost,” Jackson grinned at the boys as he came out from the kitchen. “There are some pies that need a lattice top if you’re feeling up to a challenge.”

“Always.” Changkyun chuckled and went into the back where he and Chan got started on the tedious task of weaving the dough strips on top of the apple pies.

* * *

  
“Are you sure?” Jooheon sounded hesitant. After two months of hiding who these people where, he was a little suspicious when Changkyun offered for him to go with the younger to the place he kept disappearing to and meet the friends he never talked about.

“I think it’s the right time,” Changkyun said, looking a little nervous. “But before we go, I need you to make a promise.”

“Alright, I promise.” Jooheon said easily and Changkyun laughed a little.

“You don’t even know what you’re promising.” Changkyun shot the older boy a lopsided smile that Jooheon returned.

“Okay, what am I promising?”

“Promise that you’ll keep an open mind…” Changkyun suddenly sounded scared, and Jooheon felt something in his chest telling him something was wrong. “Promise that you’ll give them a chance?”

“I mean, if you trust them, they must be okay…” Jooheon said, almost reluctantly. Changkyun’s face instantly brightened, and Jooheon knew he had said the right thing. The elder still didn’t know why he felt so uneasy, but seeing how Changkyun was practically glowing made him put the strange feeling aside.

The two made their way out of the apartment building and down the street, the browning leaves raining down on them like an autumn monsoon. By the time they were ducking into a doorway, both boys had leaves stuck in their hair and jackets. The bell dinged overhead as they stumbled into the store, and it wasn’t until the warmth and the scent of coffee hit Jooheon’s nose that he realized where Changkyun had taken him.

In the months since he had last been to the café, the sitting area had changed. More tabled and mismatched chairs were crammed in along the walls, and more art was hung on the walls. He saw a lot of photos of the staff, laughing and goofing off and grinning. His stomach clenched when he saw Changkyun in several of the photos – in the kitchens with the other boys, laughing outside of the café, standing between Jackson and Felix.

“Changkyun…” Jooheon said, his voice soft and almost wavering. Changkyun looked at him worried, a small smile on his face.

“Remember hyung,” He said softly, his leg bouncing frantically. “You promised me.”

“Changkyunnie hyung you’re back!” Jeongin lit up behind the counter, handing a customer her drink before ducking out and running up to the other boy. Changkyun hugged him, grinning at how excited the younger boy got.

“You act like I haven’t been here in months.” Changkyun teased and Jeongin wrinkled his nose.

“You’re the only hyung here that doesn’t make fun of me.” He said, pouting slightly.

“That’s not true,” Changkyun jumped to defend the other boys. “Felix doesn’t-”

“Oi, maknae, we need someone small to get an icing tip that fell behind the counter and you’re a baby so…” The boy in question stuck his head out of the saloon doors and Jeongin looked at Changkyun with a face that screamed ‘what were you just saying?’ before disappearing into the back. Felix caught sight of Changkyun and grinned. “Changkyunnie! You were just in yesterday!”

“I wanted to bring a friend.” Changkyun grinned back at the loud boy.

“Any friend of yours is a friend of ours,” He said, tilting his head to the side and looking more like a puppy than before. “Come on back, there was a batch of cookies that burnt a little around the edges so we’re eating them all.”

“Come on hyung, come meet the others.” Changkyun said, tugging on Jooheon’s sleeve. The older boy followed hesitantly, feeling dread growing in his chest. The way Changkyun walked behind the counter so comfortably and threw the saloon doors open like he belonged there made Jooheon feel like he missed out on an important part of Changkyun. There was a whole side to his best friend that he no longer knew, and that scared him a little.

“Hyung!” a chorus of voiced called out.

“Wait, you didn’t come alone did you?” Chan asked before catching sight of Jooheon who was standing slightly behind Changkyun. “Oh, is this a friend?”

“Channie, this is Jooheon hyung.” Changkyun said carefully, fiddling with his sleeves. Jooheon tensed, no idea what to expect from these boys. What he didn’t expect was for the boy to grin widely and pull Jooheon into a hug.

“Noice ta meetcha mate!” He said happily, stepping back and grinning wider at the shocked look on Jooheon’s face. “Changkyunnie’s talked a whole lot aboutcha.”

“Wait, this is Jooheon hyung?” Jisung asked, bounding over excitedly. “Wow no way he really is super handsome.”

“H-handsome?” Jooheon stuttered, not used to be complimented.

“Changkyunnie hyung said you were,” Jisung snickered at how Changkyun blushed. “He also said you rapped. I’m a rapper too! Me and Chan hyung and Changbin hyung.”

“Really?” Jooheon found his voice again. Jisung started bouncing in excitement that Jooheon was showing interest.

“Yeah! We’re 3racha. We actually have a performance in two weeks. There’s an open mic thing over at the old factory as a fundraiser for the rec center.”

“I’ll have to stop by.” Jooheon grinned at how he could almost see the gears starting to smoke in Jisung’s head.

“Wait, the rec center?” Changkyun asked, his voice small.

“They’re raising money to redo the pool.” Chan chimed in, slinging an arm around Jisung’s shoulders.

“Why didn’t Kihyun say anything?” Changkyun sounded broken, and Jooheon rushed in.

“You said it yourself,” He tugged on the younger’s sleeve to get his attention. “You’ve both been busy. I’m sure he was going to tell you when he got the chance.”

“I guess…” He agreed, albeit a little reluctantly.

“Changkyun, did you come alone? One of the boys would have gone to meet you.” A familiar voice called over to him. Jooheon’s whole body tensed, but Changkyun just chuckled and waved.

“I didn’t come alone, Jooheon hyung is with me.” He answered as Jackson carried in three large boxes stacked on top of each other.

“Jooheon?” He asked, placing the boxes onto one of the empty tables. He turned to look at the new member of the kitchen with a neutral expression. Jooheon looked Jackson right in the eye, not flinching away. Jackson maintained eye contact for a moment longer before letting a soft smile break his mask. “It’s good to see you again. Are you hungry? I was going to order pizza for everyone.”

“Fuck yeah!” Jisung cheered, earning a smack on the back of his head from Woojin.

“Watch your damn mouth.” The older boy scolded but Jisung didn’t seem ashamed for cursing.

“Um, if it wouldn’t be a problem.” Jooheon mumbled, looking at his feet. Even without raising his head, he could feel Jackson smiling at him.

“No problem at all,” He said easily as he pulled out his phone and placed an order. “Help yourself to some cookies. I’m not blaming anyone, but between you and me I think Chan might have burnt them on purpose.”

“Excuse me?” Chan cried, placing a hand on his chest as if he was shot.

“Th-thank you.” Jooheon said softly. Jackson nodded and left to check on the cases by the counter, leaving Changkyun and Jooheon in the kitchen.

“Thank you hyung.” Changkyun said softly so only Jooheon could hear.

“For what?” He asked, sounding strange.

“For giving them a chance,” Changkyun took Jooheon’s hands in his and gave them a little squeeze. “I know it wasn’t good at first, but I’ve been coming around for a while and I can tell that this café is good for him. He’s helping these kids survive. He’s paying them almost double minimum wage so they can rent an apartment together because they’ve all been kicked out of their houses or abused… I’ve seen him donate the extra stuff at the end of the day to the church. Jackson… what he did to us was horrific, and part of me still resents him for that… but wouldn’t it be just as cruel of me to keep putting him down when he’s genuinely trying to do good?”

“Changkyun, if anyone else brought me here, I would probably call the cops on him for what he did to you,” Jooheon’s voice shook and the younger felt afraid for a moment. The fear vanished when his friend continued. “But because it’s you, and… you aren’t the kind of person to trust people who don’t deserve your trust. I’ll give him a chance, but if he says one wrong thing, you’re not coming back. I won’t let you around someone who’s dangerous.”

“Hyung, thank you. But you seriously don’t have to worry. It was his idea to have one of the boys meet me and walk with me when I explained the whole situation.”

“I guess I’ll have to thank him for that,” Jooheon said, playfully bitter. “I trust you Changkyun.”

“Thank you.” Changkyun pulled his friend into a hug, burying his face in the elder’s neck.

“Changkyun hyung, could you help me with this?” Minho asked, almost hesitant to break up the moment between the friends. “Jackson hyung wants me to make these cheese twists things but the boxes are heavy.”

“And?” Changkyun could tell there was something Minho was holding back. The younger boy blushed and pouted.

“And… Chan hyung’s been ignoring me, and I wanted your advice on something.” He admitted, his face blushing harder.

“You came to the right guys,” Changkyun grinned. “Jooheon and I are the best at advice.”

* * *

  
“Thank you for helping today,” Jackson said to Jooheon as they cleaned the café for the day. “The boys seem to really like you too.”

“I’m glad Changkyun brought me.” He sounded a lot less hesitant.

“Look, I wanted to say something when Changkyun is still in the kitchen,” Jackson said, placing his rag on the table. “What I did… it was unforgivable. I never thought I would be able to make it up to Changkyun, but he forgave me. I still don’t really know why, but I’m glad he did because I can tell he’s a positive influence on the boys. I can only do so much when it comes to relating to them, but Changkyun is closer in age and they talk to him more than me. I just… I never thought I would be able to have any kind of closure from that point in my life, and I wanted to thank you for giving me a chance.”

“You’re right. What you did was unforgivable. The thing is, Changkyun has this weird ability to know when someone is worthy of kindness. Seeing how nervous he was to bring me here and how relieved he was when I promised to give you a chance… I could tell he wanted me to trust him and I trust that kid with my life. If he thinks you deserve forgiveness, then who am I to hold a grudge,” He shrugged and ignored the way Jackson’s eyes seemed to turn glassy. “He said something interesting earlier that really made me think. He said that he would be just as cruel if he held your past against you when you’re trying to change and make a difference.”

“He said that?” Jackson sounded strange.

“Yeah… he’s a good kid.” Jooheon said fondly and Jackson agreed.

“He really is,” Jackson picked his rag back up and finished wiping the table. “I’m really grateful that he gave the café and the boys a chance.”

“Hyung, Kihyun texted me! He finished the manuscript and wants us home for dinner!” Changkyun excitedly burst through the saloon doors to the front, a grin making his eyes turn up. “I’ve missed that asshole so much.”

“Looks like we’re being summoned.” Jooheon said, putting his rag down and standing, cracking his back.

“You’ll come by again, right?” Jackson asked as he gathered the rags.

“Yeah, I want to talk to Jisung and the others more about their rapping.”

“Thanks for your help today. If you ever want an official job, it’s yours. That goes for both of you.” Jackson smiled and Jooheon felt a strange pull in his chest.

“We’ll be back soon. Thanks for lunch and everything.” Changkyun grinned before tugging Jooheon out of the café.

“Bye!” A chorus sounded behind them as they rushed out. Changkyun didn’t say bye back, he just waved as he started running back to the apartments. Jooheon ran after him, a few feet behind because he wasn’t expecting the younger to be so eager to sprint.

Changkyun threw open the door to the apartment, making everyone gathered in the kitchen jump. He was panting and sweating, but the second he saw Kihyun he raced over and kissed him firmly on the lips. They ignored the cheers as they kissed, his fingers tugging on Kihyun’s hair as the elder pulled him even closer. Finally, when they broke apart, Changkyun was grinning through his tears. Kihyun’s own eyes widened and he tried to wipe them away.

“Congratulations hyung,” He sniffled and laughed as he wiped his cheeks. “You’ve worked so hard on this book and I’m so, so proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.” Kihyun placed his forehead against Changkyun’s and let the warmth of his boyfriend calm his heart.

“That’s not true. You’re an amazing author. You would have done it no questions.”

“No, seriously,” Kihyun pulled away and gave the younger a genuine smile. “I was stuck when I met you. I was sitting in my room, staring at a blank document for days and days… it wasn’t until you came into my life that I was able to find inspiration again. You’re my inspiration.” He leaned in and kissed Changkyun gently.

“I love you.” Changkyun murmured against his lips.

“I love you more.” Kihyun breathed back, causing the hair on the back of Changkyun’s neck to stand on end.

“Alright, that’s enough. Not in the kitchen,” Hyungwon groaned. “At least Hoseok and I wait till we’re in a bedroom before fucking.”

* * *

  
“So what are you thinking of doing?” Jackson asked carefully. Jooheon had started coming as often as Changkyun. His job at the diner fell through, Jin not wanting him to hurt himself. He argued to stay, but Jin insisted that his health was more important. With a heavy heart, the kind man let Jooheon go, promising that if the younger needed anything, he and Namjoon were there for him. Since then, Jooheon had a lot of spare time.

He started going even without Changkyun, the younger spending more time with Kihyun now that the elder wasn’t spending every moment in front of a laptop. Kihyun and Changkyun were basically reunited, and the dynamics of the apartment went back to normal – and by normal, Jooheon meant everyone pairing off and leaving him.  
He found himself going to the café and ranting to Jackson as they made pastries for the case. He was hesitant at first, but one day he had gotten so overwhelmed that he just burst into tears in front of the man, and after that he felt more open to talking to Jackson.

“I don’t know… I don’t want to be a bother at Hyunwoo hyung’s house even though they said I was more than welcome to stay in their spare room. I’m thinking of getting… a job or two and getting an apartment but even with two jobs I don’t think I could afford anything in the area. I really don’t want to leave, but I might have to go back home…”

“Have you thought about going back to school?” Jackson asked.

“I have, but just the thought of it… makes me want to throw up and hide away. I don’t know why though… I feel like I missed my opportunity for that whole part of my life.”

“It’s never too late to get an education,” he said seriously. “When I graduated college, the woman sitting next to me had her great granddaughter in the audience. She never thought someone her age could get a degree, but she wanted to prove that she wasn’t what her husband used to think of her. She left her cane at her seat as she walked up, back straight and grinning. I wish I knew what happened to her after that, but it was really inspirational.”

“Maybe… but I don’t know what I would even go back for. I went for education, but after two semesters I realized that if I became a teacher I would end up depressed and hating my life.”

“Ever think about going into music?”

“Music?” Jooheon thought about it at one point, but it seemed too far-fetched. “I don’t think that’s reasonable…”

“Who told you that?” Jackson said suddenly, shocking Jooheon.

“What?”

“Someone must have told you that, because anything is reasonable if it’s something you’re passionate about.”

“My parents always said music was a hobby. I mentioned maybe wanting to go to school for it and they kind of laughed it off. I never really thought about it past that.” Jooheon admitted, feeling ashamed. For what, he wasn’t sure.

“Jooheon, I know I don’t really have any right to say this but…” Jackson put the dough down and turned to look at the younger. “But you need to think about what makes you happy. Not what makes your parents happy. You are the most important person in your life, and if music makes you happy, go for it. Never let someone stand in the way of what you want to do.”

“You really think I could go to school for music?” Jooheon asked, sounding close to tears.

“Maybe you, Jisung, Chan and Changbin could work together. You’re strong, Jooheon. You can do whatever you but your mind to. I’ve seen you do it.”

“But… I barely make rent. How can I afford the tuition and housing and textbooks…?”

“This might be a little presumptuous of me but…” Jackson sounded scared for a moment and Jooheon didn’t know that the man could possibly say. “My apartment has a second room. I offered it to some of the boys, but they didn’t want to be separated. If you wanted to go back to school, you could always stay here, above the café… I wouldn’t charge you anything, and you could work here part time if you wanted to…”

“Are you serious?” Jooheon explained, not fully understanding the entirety of Jackson’s offer.

“You don’t have to, but think about it when you start planning the next step in your life.” Jackson smiled warmly and Jooheon felt hot tears rolling down his face.

“Thank you.” He sobbed, covering his face. Jackson didn’t say anything. He just pulled Jooheon into an embrace and let the boy sob into his shirt. He knew how scary it was to not know what was going to happen next, and if he could make Jooheon’s life a little easier, he would.

“Hey, you want to take a break?” he asked, not pulling away until he felt Jooheon do so first. “We got this new blend of coffee in. Want to try it?”

“Sure,” Jooheon sniffled, still trying to hide his face. “Sounds good.”

“Come on Jooheon, let’s go sit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaaa things are wrapping up, aren't they. Like I said, don't worry too much. Almost everyone gets a happy ending.  
> After this I was thinking of doing another AU with body switching or visions or something, probably with VIXX, Day6 or Astro because I love them so much, therefor I find the need to hurt them.  
> Thank you everyone for the support! It really means everything to me because I always worry my writing isn't all that good, so all the positive reinforcement has definitely given me more confidence in my ability as a writer.


	18. Factory Reset

“Do you think you’re ready?” Changkyun asked Felix. The younger boy was sitting across from Changkyun, looking through his notes for the big test he on the following Monday. Felix had waited until the weekend before to let anyone know, and after a brief explosion from the others over his recklessness, Changkyun stepped up to help the boy study.

“I think so?” Felix yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“You sound certain.” Changkyun joked, finishing the last of his coffee.

“I’m not,” Felix slammed his head on the table. “I hate how this is the test that’s going to determine my future.”

“Felix,” Changkyun had to choke back a laugh. “This test just determines if you can take an advanced history course next year… this has nothing to do with your future.”

“I wanna be a teacha! I can’t get bad grades!” His accent slipped out with the hysterical tone of his words and Changkyun stopped trying to bite back the laugh and let it out.

“I can tell you right now that every single teacher you’ve ever had in the history of your schooling, in Australia and here, have gotten bad grades. Teachers are just people too. They aren’t some sort of walking encyclopedia set.”

“You just called yourself old hyung.” Felix snickered and Changkyun felt himself gasp.

“Excuse me?” He teased, pretending to be offended.

“No one uses encyclopedia sets anymore,” the younger snickered, his cheeks puffing up. “Hell, I don’t even think our library has a set anymore.”

“Really? I thought they were like… historical artifacts at this point.” Changkyun laughed along with Felix, who started packing up his books.

“Thanks for helping me study hyung,” The boy’s already deep voice was deeper from the exhaustion that was clearly written on his face. “I know I still have the weekend, but tonight is the fund raiser and I know myself well enough to know I’m not going to open these books again until Sunday night.”

“Oh shit, that’s tonight?” Changkyun blinked, feeling out of the loop. He remembered Jisung mentioning it forever ago, but his grasp of time had started to fail him. He thought he still had a couple of weeks until that, but apparently not.

“Yeah, it kinda snuck up on all of us.” Felix said, downing the rest of his coffee in a single gulp.

“I guess I’ll see you tonight,” Changkyun gave the boy a hug before the exited the store. “I’ll wear a really dumb hat so you can point me out in the crowd.”

“Aw, hyung, you don’t need a dumb hat. Your face is dumb enough for anyone to spot.” Felix said easily, earning himself a smack to the back of the head. Changkyun could only pretend to be mad for a second before hugging the boy again.

“Seriously Felix,” He said, still embracing the boy. “You’re a smart kid. You’re going to ace this test and then we can go and celebrate, okay? Don’t let your nerves freak you out.”

“Thanks hyung.” Felix said again, buying his face in the older boy’s neck for a moment before pulling away and giving Changkyun a smile that seemed to glow. Felix waved before sprinting back to his apartment so he could get ready for the fundraiser. Even though they hadn’t acted on anything, Changkyun had a sneaking suspicion he was going to dress extra well to impress a certain rapper that was scheduled to perform.

Changkyun made the walk back to the apartment, his mind swirling with things he had been trying to put off thinking about. Kihyun had brought up the idea of moving in together again, a few weeks after the first mention. Changkyun had tried to change the subject – the look on Jooheon’s face when he broke down about being forgotten still haunted him – and Kihyun was respectful enough not to push it, but it was obvious the older boy was eager.

“Baby, you look upset.” Kihyun instantly picked up on Changkyun’s mood when he opened the front door.

“Just thinking,” He said, sounding distracted. “What time is the fundraiser tonight?”

“Oh, I almost forgot about that,” Kihyun cursed under his breath as he rushed over to his phone to check the event. After a few seconds of scrolling he found it. “Um, it starts at seven but we should get there a little sooner because Seventeen is performing and I want to give them some sort of pep talk before people show up.”

After the day Changkyun visited the rec center for the first time, the boys had made good on their promise to drag their other four friends into the dance team. After a single practice with all thirteen members, they were hooked. It was Chan that came up with the name Seventeen, though every time one of the members explained the meaning, it was a different story. So far Changkyun had heard four different versions from four different people.

“Help me pick out something to wear?” Changkyun whined, not at all feeling up to playing dress up. Before Kihyun could respond, Minhyuk’s head poked out of his room.

“Did someone say ‘pick out something to wear’ because I’m here and I’m ready,” He grinned, pulling Changkyun into his room. “Kihyun hyung, you stay out there. Your boyfriend is in good hands.”

“He always is.” Kihyun called out before Minhyuk slammed the door with excitement.

“Alright, so what kind of look are we going for this evening?” He asked before instantly correcting himself. “You probably don’t care, do you? Of course not, you’re a fashion disaster. Come on, let hyung pretty you up.” He ignored Changkyun’s whine of protest – the younger boy dressed fine, thank you very much – and got to work digging through his extensive wardrobe.

He first handed Changkyun a light pink cardigan, a flowing white blouse and black jeans but instantly took them back before the boy even had a chance to process the look.

The next hour went the same, Minhyuk throwing clothing at Changkyun, who groaned and rolled his eyes each time the older boy shook his head.  
Finally, after what felt like hours, Minhyuk took a step back and grinned. He gestured for Changkyun to look in the full length mirror the older boy had covered with an old shirt to make the reveal that much more extra.

Changkyun had to admit, Minhyuk was a god when it came to this sort of thing. He was dressed in something he never would have looked at twice if he was the one picking the outfit. He was wearing jeans tight enough to be considered painted on – Minhyuk had video proof of him desperately wiggling to get them up over his hips – that had some fairly big rips on the thigh with a black button down shirt that was open to show a faded graphic t-shirt. Minhyuk had clipped a black choker around his neck and used gel to expose his forehead slightly. He even managed to reopen the holes in his ears to showcase some dangling earrings. His makeup was similar – as in something Changkyun never would have chosen for himself. Black smoky eye and winged liner, faint blush and golden highlight. Minhyuk even went as far as to paint his lips with a strawberry pink gloss that was faintly sweet when his tongue accidentally went over it. As a last thought, Minhyuk threw a pair of boots in his direction that were just a slightest bit too big. The only part of the outfit that Changkyun had absolutely said no to was the fishnets Minhyuk wanted him to wear under the jeans. The older boy let the idea drop, but continued to lament how hot the younger would look.

Kihyun was waiting in the living room for the two. While Changkyun was struggling with his own outfit, Minhyuk managed to get himself ready. Hyungwon, Hoseok and Jooheon had already gone over to help with sound, and Hyunwoo had just arrived to wait for his boyfriend as well.

Changkyun wished he had a camera when he walked out of Minhyuk’s room because the face Kihyun made was priceless. His eyes grew to an impossible size and his mouth dropped over just enough for Changkyun to see his tongue flick out over his bottom lip. Changkyun grinned as Kihyun swallowed heavily, the elder’s eyes drinking in every inch of the younger.

“Wow…. You look beautiful.” Kihyun sounded breathless and it made Changkyun’s heartbeat speed up.

“Thank you hyung,” He said, making his voice lower than usual and causing goosebumps to erupt over Kihyun’s exposed arms. He was wearing black jeans and a colorful short sleeve button up shirt. “You look absolutely delicious yourself.” He hadn’t meant to lick his lips just then, but it just sort of happened. Kihyun looked as though his heart stopped beating.

“Changkyun!” Kihyun’s voice went up three octaves as he grabbed his jacket from the couch. “W-we should go before we’re late!”

“You make it look so easy.” Minhyuk said softly as Kihyun almost walked into the door frame.

“Make what look easy?” Changkyun grinned at his boyfriend, who was blushing redder and redder as the younger’s words replayed in his head.

“Making him freak out,” He giggled as Hyunwoo and Kihyun walked ahead. “It takes a lot of teasing to make Hyunwoonie blush like that.”

“You know, I’m sure if you ask Kihyun or Hoseok hyung, they might have some tips to make him blush. They’ve known him longer.” The younger grinned mischievously and Minhyuk copied his expression instantly, looking impish.

“You’re so smart Changkyunnie.” He said suspiciously, and Changkyun felt bad for Hyunwoo for about a second before he was returning the grin.

The rest of the walk to the abandoned factory was nice. Changkyun had caught up with Kihyun, leaving Minhyuk and Hyunwoo to hold hands a few steps behind them. The youngest didn’t think twice before tangling his fingers with Kihyun’s, and the older boy pulled him close so their bodies were flush against each other as they walked.

The factory building was already alive when the four walked up. Despite the sun still lingering on the horizon, there were lights shining from empty window frames and loud music that just got louder as the door opened and closed.

When it was in business, the factory had made shoes – at least, that’s what a lot of people speculated seeing how it had been closed down long before most of the people in the building had even been born. Now, however, the whole bottom floor had been cleared out. Up against the large windows that overlooked the river was a large stage that had been sectioned off. It wasn’t as much of a stage as it was just an area of the floor that was boxed in by speakers and equipment. Stepping closer, Changkyun could see someone had gotten tiles from somewhere so the stage wasn’t just concrete under the feet of the performers.

The boys from Seventeen were already milling about the stage, all in various stages of stretching. Thankfully, most of the early guests were busy milling about across the factory floor, so the dancers had plenty of space to prepare. As soon as they saw Changkyun approaching, Soonyoung jumped up and rushed over.

“Kyunnie! We’ve missed you!” He cooed, pulling the younger away from Kihyun, who just watched with an amused side smile.

“It’s been a while,” Changkyun returned the hug, not caring that some of the dancer’s makeup was smudging on his shoulder. It wasn’t his shirt after all. “Things have been a little hectic, but I’m pumped to see you guys perform!”

“Of course you’re here to support your favorite people.” Soonyoung grinned even wider as he pulled Changkyun over to the others.

“I mean, of course,” Changkyun had to fight back a laugh. “But I’m here for my other friends too.”

“You have other friends?” Seungcheol came over with an easy smile and Changkyun narrowed his eyes playfully.

“Yeah, I do actually.” He said with a bit of a whine in his words. Just then, a loud cry of ‘hyuuuuuung’ filled the air and Changkyun smirked at Seungcheol just before he was tackled. As he was regaining his footing, two more bodies slammed into his. If it weren’t for Mingyu, who was standing right behind him and managed to steady him, Changkyun and the three boys who were attached to him would have been personally introduced to the flooring.

“Hyung you made it!” Jisung looked like an overly caffeinated child at an amusement park, and his excitement was contagious because Changkyun could feel his own blood start to pump a little faster.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” He said, giving the boy a hug.

“Hyung almost forgot.” Felix sang before barely dodging the smack Changkyun threw at him. Changkyun was right – Felix was most definitely dressed up more so than usual, and it seemed to be working because Changbin seemed to have a perpetual blush on his face.

“I did not forget!” He shook his head as the others laughed. “I simply… didn’t quite recall how soon it was happening.”

“Hyung forgot!” Jeongin shrilled playfully and Changkyun couldn’t find it in him to scold the youngest. Instead, he just pouted until Kihyun came over.

“I wouldn’t have let him forget,” He said, easily slipping his hand around the younger’s waist. Changkyun instantly relaxed into the touch and the boys gathered shared a knowing look with each other. “I’m Kihyun. I don’t think I recognize any of you.”

“We’re Changkyun hyung’s friend from the café.” Minho said as he stuck his hand out. Kihyun shook it as his words sunk in.

“Wait, café?” He turned to Changkyun, who looked away sheepishly.

“Yeah, when you were writing… I found a café downtown and started hanging out. I help in the back when they need it and stuff.” He said, trying to hide the panic growing in his chest. While Jooheon was okay with the café, Changkyun had no idea how his other hyungs might react to the knowledge that their youngest was spending time with the one man that screwed them all over.

“I’m glad you’re making friends,” Kihyun said warmly before burying his nose in Changkyun’s neck. “I was worried with how isolated you became after the fire.”

“We’re taking good care of him, don’t worry.” Chan came over finally, followed by the rest of the boys from the café. Jackson was missing, which Changkyun was almost glad for. As much as his feelings towards the man have changed, he didn’t want there to be fight.

“Changkyunnie! You look hot as fuck!” Jooheon’s familiar voice caught the younger’s attention. Kihyun laughed at their friend and pecked Changkyun’s cheek.

“I know right,” Kihyun smirked at the rest of their group at they approached. “I could just eat him up.” He mimed taking a bite out of something and winked, causing things to happen to the younger’s stomach.

“Hyung…” Changkyun whined, fidgeting slightly. Minhyuk’s pants didn’t give him much room for comfort.

“Jooheonnie!” Jisung sang as he hugged the other boy with just as much enthusiasm as he had with Changkyun. With the boys from the café distracted by greeting their other hyung, Changkyun and the rest of his group went to greet each other.

“Hyungwon hyung?” An unfamiliar voice called out, causing their group to turn. Six younger boys approached, two dressed to perform while the others looked more comfortable. The tallest was carrying a guitar and the one next to him was wearing dance clothing.

“Jinwoo?” Hyungwon’s eyebrows shot up into his hair but he was smiling.

“Didn’t think we’d see you here!” The one holding the guitar said, and Changkyun could hear the braces in his voice.

“I didn’t think I’d see you guys either,” he said truthfully. “I’m just here to support my boyfriend’s dance team. I didn’t know it was going to be such a huge event.”

“Rocky hyung and I are doing a duet,” Sanha said, still grinning. “Well, I’m playing and singing, and he’s going to dance.”

“I’ll make sure to cheer extra loud.” Hyungwon ruffled Sanha’s hair – mostly because he could, with his height - and grinned. The boy protested as he tried to fix the mess on the top of his head, but from the blush and the smile, everyone could tell he was happy.

“Come on you two, you still have to check in,” Jinwoo said, whacking Sanha and Minhyuk on the back. “It was great to see you again, hyung. We should catch up, yeah? I’d love to meet this boyfriend of yours.”

“Definitely. Find me when you get the chance.” Hyungwon waved as the group of six fought their way through the crowd around the sign in table.

“Who were they?” Hoseok asked, coming up to rest his chin on Hyungwon’s shoulder.

“I met them when you were out of town,” He said truthfully, letting his own head lean against Hoseok’s. “I couldn’t sleep one night and went for a walk.”

“Oh, are they the one from the convenience store?”

“Yeah, that’s them.” Hyungwon had actually forgotten he had told Hoseok the story.

“They seem nice. A little young.”

“They are. I think you’d like them. Especially Minhyuk – he’s looking into going to school for dance.” Hyungwon said as he grinned. He could still see Sanha’s head overtop the crowd, the younger boy bobbing up and down with nerves.

“Welcome everyone to the first ever Factory Reset!” A girl had taken the stage and was holding a mic in her hand. The talking slowly stopped as she continued her announcement. “The first act will be starting in about ten minutes! Thank you everyone for coming out and supporting the rec center.”

As she left, the people on stage finished setting up their instruments. The drum set seemed to giving them the most trouble, but they were working quickly.

“I wish there was a program.” Kihyun said into Changkyun’s ear.

“If we ask one of the workers, they might give us one.” He suggested, and Kihyun looked at Changkyun like the younger was spouting pure gold from his mouth.

“I’ll be right back.” He said before disappearing after the girl with the mic.

“Jooheon-ah!”

“Jin?” Jooheon was shocked to see him former boss walking over to him with his husband trailing after. He was more shocked to see his former boss wearing what looked like leather pants and a flowing striped shirt that was open enough to show his collar bones.

“Ah, it’s so good to see you again,” The man pulled Jooheon into a hug, which Jooheon’s shocked reflexes managed to return. “How have you been? You look well.”

“I’ve been good,” He felt a little embarrassed to be talking to his ex boss, but Jin was just so excited to see him. “I’ve been working part time at this café… and I’m thinking of applying to go back to school.”

“That’s amazing!” Jin clapped his hands looking to the world like a proud mother. “What are you going for?”

“I originally went for education but it really didn’t suit me, so I’m thinking of going back for music but I’m still not sure…” Jooheon trailed off, the familiar grips of doubt choking him up again. How many nights had the boy laid awake, the fears of failing again stinging his eyes?”

“Music?” Jin’s eyes sparkled. “That’s amazing!”

“What kind of music?” Namjoon asked, and Jooheon realized he had never been asked that. What he was going for, sure, but never what genre specifically. He felt his heart swell a little and let himself smile.

“I want to rap, but I also want to compose for others,” He felt his dimples show and managed to drag his eyes from the floor to the two men, who were looking at him with pride. “I have some songs already, and I think I could make some really interesting pieces with the right education and equipment.”

“You know what?” Namjoon said with a twinkle in his eye. “You go back to school for music, and the internship at my recording label is yours.”

“Wh-what?” Jooheon didn’t believe his ears. Namjoon laughed at the gobsmacked expression on the boy’s face.

“My friends Yoongi and Hoseok and I own a small recording label right outside of town. It’s nothing huge – yet – but we’ve been talking about expanding, and I think you’d be a great intern. You’d love the guys, especially if you’re into rapping. Plus, think of it as incentive to follow your dreams. I know we’re told more often than not to pick something that’s reasonable, but we’re almost never told to take risks.” He tilted his head, waiting for Jooheon’s answer. The boy stared at him for a moment before spluttering back to life.

“Yeah- I mean, yes. I’d love to- yeah. Thank you for the offer, Namjoon hyung.” He babbled, grinning from ear to ear.

“You have my number still right?” Namjoon asked and smiled dorkily when he saw Jooheon nod. “Shoot me a text and we can talk about it, yeah? And if you have any trouble applying to school, let me know. I’ve been helping Jimin and Tae with their applications for months now.”

“Thank you,” Jooheon bowed low, shaking with excitement. “Thank you so much.”

“Yah, stand up kid. I’m not someone you should be bowing to.” Namjoon playfully scolded, and Jooheon shot upright again, his cheeks bright red.

“Oh, the show is about to start, but like Joonie said,” Jin said warmly. “If you ever need anything, let us know, okay?”

“Yes hyung.” Jooheon said, his voice sounding distant.

“Good boy.” Jin ruffled his hair with a squeaky laugh before disappearing into the crowd. Jooheon stood, stunned, before rushing to find the others.

“You guys will never guess what just happened!” He squealed as he found them. Just as Changkyun was about to open his mouth to ask, the lights dimmed and the girl with the mic came back on the stage.

“Another big welcome to the first ever Factory Reset! Our first act up today is Day6, so put your hands together!” As she left, she handed the mic to a boy with a rounder nose and a guitar strapped around his chest.

“We’re Day6, and we’re honored to open the show,” he said, his voice soft. Minhyuk saw the second guitarist and felt a stab of recognition hit him. The day of the crash, he had been out of it, but now he recognized the voice.

“Alright everyone, let’s get it!” Jae yelled into his mic and the crowd cheered. Minhyuk cheered louder than ever, barely recognizing the boy on the stage. He mused that even if he hadn’t been concussed, he might not have recognized Jae that night either.

When Jae had first applied to the Dirty Dame, Minhyuk wanted to laugh. The older boy could tell instantly that the kid in front of him was lanky and awkward – dancing would have been a challenge and a half. Thankfully, the kid was placed at the bar. He surprisingly thrived there, his talkative nature and bright smile brought customers in for overpriced drinks that he was able to make with extra flare. Minhyuk, though he never really had an opportunity to get to know the bartender in the month and a half he was there, was sad to see the kid resign.

The band was amazing. Sungjin and Jae’s voices worked amazing with Younghyun’s, and Wonpil sang the chorus with such emotion it left shudders down their spines. Their set was only three songs, but Sungjin said if anyone wanted more information on their band to find him later. There was already a small group of girls waiting for them to exit the stage.

It took less time to take their set apart than it did to put it together, so the next act was on stage in less than five minutes. Kihyun had found Changkyun just before the band had started with a small piece of paper in his hand. He make a joke about flirting to get what he wanted and Changkyun lightly smacked his shoulder.

The next act was a girl group that danced to a popular pop song. They were really good, in Changkyun’s opinion, though he was used to the intense dancing he saw from his friends so the cutesy moves weren’t overly impressing. When they finished, the crowd went wild, clapping and whistling. The girls bowed and waved as they skipped off stage.

After them was a solo act. Jooheon cheered loudly when he realized who it was. Taehyung looked nervous, but after making eye contact with his old coworker and hearing his own friend group cheering loudly right in front, his grinned wide and relaxed. Despite his voice being deep, his song showcased just how effortlessly he was able to hit high notes as well. Changkyun felt himself tearing up as he listened to the heartfelt lyrics, and when he glanced over he saw Jooheon was about to cry too. Taehyung finished with a bow and the cheers were deafening.

Two more acts performed – a standup comedian who had tears rolling down Changkyun’s cheeks and a girl who did a gymnastics routine – before it was Hyungwon’s friend’s turn. The boy, Sanha, sat on a stool in front of the mic while Minhyuk – introduced as Rocky – stood to the side. Hyungwon called their names loudly, and Sanha turned bright red while Minhyuk just grinned and waved a little.

Sanha began playing a soft song on his guitar, his voice joining in equally as soft. He looked serene as he sang about love, and Rocky danced slowly next to him, visually acting out Sanha’s voice. Suddenly, Sanha picked up the tempo and the song got more intense, the lyrics going from hopeful to cynical. Rocky’s dancing matched, the flowing moves turned into sharp jabs and popping motions. By the end, sweat was dripping from Rocky’s forehead and Sanha was panting from the force of his singing. The crowed was silent for a moment before roaring.

The boys stood and bowed, both out of breath but grinning. Hyungwon could see Jinwoo and the others waiting just off stage for their two youngest to finish and walk over to them. Even though they had only met once, Hyungwon felt his chest swell with pride.

Seventeen took the stage then, and a hush fell over the crowd. The acts so far had been small, five people at the most. Thirteen boys on stage - each dressed black suits that looked more like princes outfits than normal suits, with red sashes and golden accents – caught every bit of attention in the room. With all eyes on the stage, the music started.  
The boys were so in sync, Changkyun was almost scared. Apparently, according to Kihyun whispering in his ear, it was Seungcheol’s idea to add singing into the mix. Changkyun was in awe. Not only were they perfectly together, but their voices blended so perfectly it was almost hard to believe he was watching the performance live.

When the song ended and the boys on the stage struck their final pose, the audience seemed to break free of whatever spell had them frozen and began cheering louder and louder. Changkyun could see his friends panting and doubling over, but he could also see the pride and adrenaline shining from their eyes.

Changkyun wanted to go over and congratulate the performers like Kihyun was going to do, but just as he was about to follow his boyfriend, the next act began. Being in the front row already, it was easy to make eye contact with Chan, Jisung and Changbin as they took their places. Jisung saw him first and perked up, his nerves obviously making him antsy.

Their rap began with a little skit, where they were talking to a random girl in the audience. Changkyun thought it was extremely witty and a good use of their audience, and made a mental note to find out who wrote it and give them a pat on the back. The rest of their rap was the same, playing off the audience and each other. At one point, Chan started roasting his friends in the middle of his verse and Changkyun couldn’t hold back a laugh. When the three boys finished, Changkyun and Jooheon might have been the loudest cheers, rivaled only by the other seven from the café that were directly next to them.

As soon as the three headed off stage, Changkyun and Jooheon joined the herd and went to wait for them. The two managed to congratulate Seungcheol as his group rushed past to get changed on their way, and when they got to the edge of the stage Changkyun was the first to wrap the closest performer in a big hug.

“You guys were amazing!” He cried, feeling his eyes sting. He only knew these boys for a few months, but he was so proud of them.

“Who came up with the rap?” Jooheon asked, giving his own hugs. “It was hilarious!”

“We worked together,” Chan said with an almost shy smile. His dimples showed as he rubbed the back of his head and looked at his feet. “I’m just really lucky to be able to perform with them.”

“Aw, hyung are you gonna cry?” Changbin poked Chan’s cheek, causing the older boy to wrinkle his nose and laugh.

“Cry? Who am I? You?” He shot back and the group laughed.

“But seriously, you were beyond amazing,” Changkyun said, earnest as possible. “If Kihyun were here, he’d come up with some better words other than amazing but you get the point.”

“That was so scary,” Jisung said, staring straight ahead like a deer in the head lights. His mouth twitched at the corners. “I wanna go again.”

“Well, there’s an open mic at the coffee place down the street on the first Saturday of every month,” Changkyun offered slyly, only knowing this because Kihyun complained that he couldn’t focus due to the crowd. “I’d love to see you perform again.”

“It looks like the final act is going up.” Woojin said suddenly, catching everyone’s attention. Changkyun turned and felt his mouth go dry.

Kihyun was standing at the mic, looking as comfortable as he did lounging at the apartment. He had a small electric keyboard set up in front of him, his slender fingers resting on the keys as he searched the crowd. As soon as they made eye contact, Kihyun’s face relaxed into a smile and he leaned into the microphone.

“Thank you all for your support,” He started, letting his fingers run along the keys without making any sound. “I’m honored to close this fundraiser, and I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

The crowd cheered and Changkyun felt himself being pushed to the front. He was mere feet from Kihyun, who was staring at him and him alone. When the elder began to play, it was as if the world around them fell away, leaving just him and Changkyun.

_“I used to think I was so bright,_   
_Using words like knives to keep people away._   
_I thought I was invincible,_   
_Until a single flower broke down my walls._   
_You showed me things I never wanted to see,_   
_Like sunrises and sunsets_   
_And the warmth of staying in bed._   
_You showed me love,_   
_In ways I never let myself believe in._   
_I thought I was the one in control,_   
_Painting words like an artist and_   
_Creating worlds of my own design._   
_That was, until you came into my life_   
_And proved that you were in control all along._   
_You were the reason words failed me,_   
_For the first time in my life,_   
_And I couldn’t have been happier._   
_Your love showed me a new world,_   
_Where we can be happy and free_   
_And together at last.”_

Kihyun let the final note hang in the air for a moment as he played a light melody. Changkyun didn’t realize there were tears flowing down his cheeks until Kihyun looked at him and smiled.

Someone shoved Changkyun forward, and he barely managed to catch himself from tripping on the wired of the speakers. Kihyun reached out to steady him, fond not strong enough of a word to describe the content smile on his face.

Before Changkyun could say anything, Kihyun kissed him deeply. The crowd cheered and whistled, but Changkyun didn’t care. All he cared about was the feeling of Kihyun’s hand on his waist and the taste of Kihyun dancing on his tongue.

“And with that, the first ever Factory Reset fundraiser has come to a close!” A girl said as the two separated. Thoroughly embarrassed, Changkyun pulled Kihyun from the stage as she finished her announcements. “We’ve managed to raise double our original goal, and with the extra money we can also redo the daycare. Thank you everyone for your support this evening, and keep an ear out for the next fundraiser!” The crowd cheered one last time before the lights groaned back on, the fluorescents flickering dimly as they struggled back to full brightness.

“Let’s go home,” Changkyun said as he rested his head on Kihyun’s shoulder. Most of the guests had cleared out, leaving the performers and some friends, along with the workers. Changkyun and the others had talked to their respective friends and congratulated everyone, making promises to catch up as soon as possible. The boy yawned and felt Kihyun laugh.

“Alright baby, let’s get you home,” he said warmly, wrapping his jacket around Changkyun’s shoulders. “Though after all your talk before, I was kinda looking forward to something else.”

“Anything for you.” Changkyun mumbled with a smile, knowing what his boyfriend was implying. Kihyun just laughed again and kissed the younger’s forehead.

“Not if you’re not in the mood love,” He said, brushing Changkyun’s bangs from his face with a small smile of his own. “Your feelings come before my libido, no matter what.”

“What if I want to though?” He asked cheekily, or as cheekily as he could as he was basically falling asleep on Kihyun.

“Here, climb on my back. I’ll carry you home.” Kihyun said, and Changkyun couldn’t find it in him to protest. He did as he was told and relaxed into Kihyun’s back as the elder held on to his thighs. He wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s neck and buried his nose in his boyfriend’s neck, getting lost in the comforting scent.

"I love you." He said softly, smiling when Kihyun returned his favorite words back.

* * *

  
“Changkyun, please tell me this is a joke.” Minhyuk’s voice shook. Changkyun stared at his hyung with large, guilty eyes and Minhyuk knew without a doubt that the youngest was not lying. Changkyun had mentioned something about helping Felix study at the café, and Minhyuk semi jokingly said as long as it wasn’t Jackson’s café.

“Hyung, you don’t understand-” Changkyun tried to say before he was cut off.

“Understand what Changkyun?” Minhyuk spat, venom strong in his words. Hyunwoo placed a hand on his arm to calm him down but the smaller just shook him off. “That you’ve been sneaking away to spend time with the man that used you? That abused you? How do you know he’s really changed, huh? What if he’s just using you again? Getting you to trust him before taking advantage of you? You’re not the smartest when it comes to being used by people.”

“Hyung, that was uncalled for,” Jooheon stepped in. “Changkyun is right, Jackson’s different. We’re not forgetting what he did, but we would be just as bad as he was if we keep his past dangling over his head.”

“Bullshit! He should be in jail for what he did!” Minhyuk yelled. He pushed past Changkyun and Jooheon, who were actually a little afraid of the smaller boy.

“Where are you going?” Hyunwoo asked as he saw Minhyuk putting on his shoes.

“I’m going to punch Jackson for trying to brainwash our boys.” He growled before slamming the door behind him. It took a moment for his words to sink in, and when they did the rest of the group jumped to race after him.

“Hyung, stop!” Changkyun cried, but Minhyuk was a man on a mission. He felt someone’s hand wrap around his wrist, but he just ripped his arm away and ran faster. It must have been a strange sight, six young men chasing after another, all looking panicked while the one being chased looked furious. Of course, Minhyuk made it to the café before the others, even if it was just by a second. He threw the door open, causing the little bell to ring violently. Jeongin looked up, startled by the loud noise. Before he could greet the newcomer, Minhyuk was yelling.

“Where’s Jackson?” He called, his ears ringing. How dare that man lay another finger on his boys?

“I heard my name?” A voice came from the back. “Whoever is there, I’d like to ask you to stop yelling. This is a business-” he stopped dead when he saw who it was.

“Jackson,” Minhyuk growled, narrowing his eyes. Even Jackson, who was easily a head taller than Minhyuk, had sense enough to take a step backwards. “I’m going to kill you.”

“Minhyuk,” Jackson held his hands up carefully, as if he was trying to calm a rabid animal. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Why don’t we talk about whatever upset you? I can get some of the scones that are cooling and-”

“Save it, you scum. I can’t believe after everything you’ve done, you had the audacity to even look at Changkyun again!” Minhyuk yelled, ignoring the boy in question, who was tugging at his arm in an attempt to get his attention.

“Minhyuk, I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding-” Jackson tried again, but Minhyuk wasn’t having it.

“Shove it asshole! What lies have you been spewing? What kind of bullshit have you been vomiting up to get them to trust you, huh?” he snarled, taking a step forward. Changkyun was glad it was technically after hours, the last customer having left a few minutes before Minhyuk threw the door open.

“HYUNG!” He yelled right in Minhyuk’s ear, causing the smaller boy to freeze. “Can you stop for a single fucking second and listen to me?”

“Watch your language.”

“Changkyun no cursing!” Jackson and Minhyuk scolded Changkyun at the same time before Minhyuk turned and shot a withering glare to the other man.

“Minhyuk, why can’t you just believe me when I said I came here because I wanted to?” Changkyun didn’t mean to raise his voice, he was just upset. The outburst from Minhyuk had brought the rest of the boys from the kitchen, minus Felix who was still taking his exam. “I didn’t come back because Jackson promised me anything or said something. I did it because I liked the guys and because I felt comfortable in the café. Jooheon hyung trusted my judgment, so why can’t you?”

“After everything he’s done, you’re just going to forgive him?” Minhyuk sounded close to tears, the rage in his voice quickly fading to something else.

“I haven’t completely forgiven him,” Changkyun said carefully, knowing everyone in the small room was hanging on his every word. “But I decided to start judging him based on the person he’s becoming, rather than the person he was.”

“You’re too nice Changkyunnie.” Minhyuk said without much fire. The reappearance of the nickname calmed Changkyun some, the younger knowing Minhyuk was done fighting. The tension in the room seemed to fade some as Changkyun hugged his hyung tightly.

“I still think we need to talk about this-” Jooheon said, his words cut off by the bell above the door dinging. Everyone turned to see who would be entering the café after closing and froze when their eyes came in contact with the barrel of a gun.

“Where’s IM?” The man behind the gun demanded. “And where’s Jackson? They both have to pay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as an apology for not updating as quickly, here's an extra long chapter!  
> You know, I did think for a moment that maybe everyone could have their happy ending and that everything could work out, but then I remembered I'm sad and therefore have to make everyone else sad.  
> It might seem a little busy this chapter, but I wanted everyone to make one more cameo before the story ended, sort of as a way to wrap things up nicely? I love my boys Astro so much, and I almost sobbed when I heard they weren't going to disband and that they're having a comeback later this year. Maybe there is a god? Who knows? All I know is that my boys are BACK BABY!  
> I know I've been saying it for a while, but it's weird for this to almost be over. I'm planning on it being 20 chapters total, so one chapter to resolve the cliffhanger and one as an epilogue of sorts? I have no way of telling what my motivation is going to be in the upcoming days/weeks so I have no idea what an upload schedule is, but keep an eye out for the next two chapters!  
> Thank you everyone who's reading and supporting this. I know I really should respond to comments more - especially the ones that make me cry a little - but don't worry. I see each and every one of the comments and the kudos and the bookmarks. It validates me to know there are strangers out there that genuinely enjoy my writing. Sometimes I think I'm no good, but then I see the comments that say how well I write the characters or how interesting the plot is and I feel better about my own abilities.


	19. Final Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter- graphic descriptions of blood/death and mentions of suicide

Everyone froze, the situation seeming too ridiculous to be real, but the gun pointing at Chan’s forehead was very much real.

Don’t make me repeat myself!” The man screamed, spit flying from yellowing teeth. “Jackson and IM. I want them in front of me. Right now.”

“Let’s just talk about this…” Jackson stepped forward. Everyone could see the man was confused for a moment – the Jackson in front of him was much different from the one he knew. “There’s no need to get violent.”

“You… you ruined my life,” The gun started trembling as he man started laughing hysterically. “You and that damn slut over there!” He spun around and pointed the gun at Changkyun, who was pushed to be hidden behind Kihyun.

“I don’t know who you are, so how did I ruin your life?” Changkyun shot back, trying to push Kihyun behind himself in a poor attempt to protect the smaller boy.

“Oh, you don’t know me?” the man seemed to find that funny, because he threw his head back and laughed again. “That’s… that’s fucking hilarious. You don’t even know who I am! After everything you did, you don’t know who I am.”

“Please put the gun down sir,” Jackson tried again, pushing Jeongin behind him. Changkyun could see his eyes flicking between the man with the gun and the other boys who were still exposed. “Whatever happened must have been a misunderstanding-” The gun whirled around and was aimed right at Jackson’s face.

“A misunderstanding?” The man spat angrily, the gun no longer shaking. “You think this was a misunderstanding? I lost my job, my wife, my friends… all because you created this- this angel of a whore to dance for me and steal my mind. After I saw him I couldn’t think of anything else. I stole our savings just to see him smile. I spent every damn night watching that slut move his hips and I was under some sort of spell. My wife packed up and left me but I still kept coming back. I tried getting rid of the problem, but somehow you all fucking survived! How you managed to escape, I don’t know. I blocked the exits and soaked the building in gas but nooooo,” He rolled his head around, the crazy spark in his eye scarier than the weapon. “You just had to survive and haunt me even more. But not anymore. I’m going to kill the person who started this whole thing and the person responsible for ruining my life, and then my wife will come back and everything will be okay again!”

“The police are on their way.” Minhyuk whispered almost silently. No one had seen him pull out his phone and dial the cops as the man was ranting, Hyunwoo’s broad shoulders hiding him fully from sight. Only Hyunwoo, Changkyun and Kihyun heard him.

“I’m going to start with the boy, because it was his fault, and I’m going to make you watch,” The man’s voice had lost all sense of reason. “You need to suffer as much as I have!” He swung the gun around to point at Changkyun.

Everything seemed to happen in an instant. Kihyun threw himself in front of Changkyun first. The younger pushed him out of the way just as Jooheon jumped in front of him. Changkyun only had a second to push Jooheon as well before there was a bell chime behind everyone.

“Guys! I passed my exam!” Felix’s voice rang out in the chaos for only a moment before the sound of a gunshot cut him off with a choke whine.

No one moved.

Felix tilted his head to the side as if he was mildly confused by what someone had said as his hand came up to cover a the blossoming rose of blood on his ribs. The man with the gun let out a sob, his hands shaking harder than ever before. Time seemed to slow even more as Felix blinked once before collapsing into a pile of cloth and limbs.

“This wasn’t part of the plan…” The man said shakily, staring at Felix’s body in unadulterated horror. “No… I wasn’t supposed to be a murderer… I just…”

“SOMEONE GET THE GUN!” A voice screamed out.

Before anyone could move, the man spun around to face the crowd, gun raised to fire again. Everyone froze, their tears the only thing moving in the entire café. Just as the cop cars flew up onto the curb and the officers piled out, the man turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger.

Blood splattered on the counter and muffin case, the crimson covering the glass in an almost artistic way. The officers instantly kicked open the door, not caring that the glass shattered with the force. The officers flooded the small café, trying to take control of a situation that had no control to speak of. Outside, an ambulance was parked and a stretcher was being pulled out as quickly as possible by two paramedics.

“Another ambulance is on the way,” The one officer said carefully. “We need to know who else injured, alright?”

Changkyun didn’t realize the officer was talking to him. He didn’t realize he had stepped forward in the midst of the horror happening around him. His eyes were trained on Felix, who was unmoving on the floor, the rose of blood growing into a whole bouquet of roses on the tiled floor. His ears began to ring so loudly, everything else was drowned out. He fell to his knees and crawled forward towards Felix. When he was directly in front of the boy, his hands hovered over his body as if he was afraid to touch him.

Just then, the paramedics began moving Felix. Changkyun’s head shot up in horror as strangers began touching the boy.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM!” He screamed, trying to fight the hands away. He felt arms around him, but he just fought them. “DON’T HURT HIM HE’S JUST A KID!” Sobs wracked his body so painfully that he doubled over, emptying his stomach. The bile mixed with the blood in a way that matched the situation – horrifying and too real.

“Changkyun… baby, they’re going to help him,” A soothing voice spoke in his ear. Changkyun sobbed louder, the hysterical sound drowned out only by the cries of the other boys. “Love, please, come back to me. Changkyun, come back.”

“K-Kihyun?” Changkyun choked, finally recognizing the arms holding him. He instantly curled into his chest, the shock still wearing off. Kihyun just held him and cried silently into the boy’s hair. When they stormed out of the apartment, Kihyun had been angry at Changkyun. Not for going to the café that Jackson owned, but for hiding it from him. He was angry that Changkyun didn’t feel he could trust the older boy, and that he had to find out through Minhyuk freaking out. But now, all he could feel was grief and relief.

He had only met Felix briefly at the fundraiser, but the boy seemed bright. As much as his chest was ripping itself apart for the boy, part of Kihyun couldn’t help but be relieved that his Changkyun was safe. When the man said he was going to start with shooting his Changkyun, Kihyun would have done anything to protect him, even sacrifice himself.

Eventually, the other paramedics came and escorted them from the scene of the crime. The officers roped off the café and took pictures of the area. They put the man in a body bag and wheeled him out as the survivors were being treated for shock at the ambulances. More cops had to be called for backup to control the crowds that were starting to form around the street.

“Hyung, what’s going to happen now?” Jeongin asked, sounding smaller than Changkyun had ever heard the boy sound. Jackson was talking to the officers about what happened, and the Changkyun knew he was going to have to go up next, but for the time being he was wrapped in a silver blanket, holding a can of soda that a paramedic gave to him to help with the shaking.

“I don’t know…” Changkyun couldn’t find it in himself to lie. The boy deserved the truth after what happened. “We just… survive I guess.”

“Felix isn’t dead,” He whispered suddenly, leaning his head against Changkyun’s shoulder. The older boy’s chest clenched painfully and he had to bite back another sob. How he still had tears left, he didn’t know. He felt as though he cried enough for him to be out for years. “Hyung isn’t dead. He can’t be.”

“Jeongin…” Changkyun didn’t know what to say. He honestly didn’t know. There might have been a chance that Felix survived, especially since the ambulance took him to the hospital so quickly, but Changkyun saw him. He was so still lying on the floor, his freckles standing out painfully on his paper white skin. He lost so much blood…

“We’re going to the hospital,” Chan came over to Jeongin, who instantly stood. “We finished speaking to the police. Felix needs us now.”

“We’re coming too.” Changkyun said quickly, standing and letting the blanket fall to the ground. Chan shot him a watery glare.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” He whispered before taking Jeongin’s hand and pulling the younger boy towards the group of eight that was gathered on the sidewalk. Changkyun watched them walk away, feeling as though he was the one who had been shot in the chest.

“He doesn’t mean it,” Jooheon pulled Changkyun into a hug. “He loves you. He’s just scared…”

“It should have been me…” Changkyun said, a calm settling over his mind. Jooheon instantly pulled away to look at the younger boy, but Changkyun’s eyes were fixed firmly on the broken door of the café.

“Chankgyun, you can’t say shit like that-”

“It’s true though,” Changkyun brushed Jooheon’s hands away from him, but the elder just gripped tighter. “If I had just died in the fire… or if he had shot me first… no one else would have gotten hurt… it’s all my fault Felix is-” he broke, silent tears swallowing the rest of his words. Jooheon pulled him into his chest and held him as tightly as possible.

“That’s not true,” He whispered in his ear, his voice wavering dangerously. “If you had been killed, we all would have been hurt. We can’t lose you Changkyun… we just can’t lose you…”

“It’s all my fault…” Changkyun sobbed harder and Jooheon was at a loss. He let his own tears wet Changkyun’s head as the boy sobbed, blaming himself with every breath.

* * *

  
“It’s been two days… when are they going to tell us something?” Jisung spat, his eyes red and painful.

The eight boys had been crowded into the hospital waiting room for almost two full days, none of them leaving for even an instant. The closest they’ve come is one of them running to the cafeteria to get food and coffee for the others.

Despite their protests and arguments, the doctors refused to release any information to them. They weren’t his legal family, therefore had no right to his personal info. Chan fought tooth and nail, but legally the doctor’s hands were tied.

Chan was the biggest wreck of them all. He had found Felix on the street, looking scared and lost. He was the one to bring the boy back to his shitty apartment and make him a cup of tea and listen to his problems. When Felix said he dropped out of school, Chan’s heart broke. The kid wasn’t weird. He was unique, and it killed him that the kids at his school only wanted to bully Felix for his laugh and his freckles and his accent rather than celebrate him. Chan was the one to help Felix enroll in a different high school, far away from the kids that tormented him – a performing arts high school, where all the kids were a little quirky and different. Felix decided he wanted to be a teacher, like the ones there, and Chan was the very first one to support his dreams. When Chan approached Jackson for a job, Felix was the first to ask for a job alongside him. The others followed quickly, but Felix was the first. Felix was always the one with the bright smile and the shoulder to cry on and the advice that seemed a little strange but still comforted them nonetheless. Felix was one part of nine, but without that one part their group seemed broken.

“I’m fucking sick of this,” Changbin growled before running over to the desk worker. “Excuse me miss, but what technically counts as immediate family?” The girl behind the desk blinked at him before stuttering a little at the sudden question.

“O-oh um, immediate family consists of mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, significant others, children and legal guardians-”

“Significant others?” Changbin thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“Yes, spouses mostly-” The poor young woman was cut off again.

“Lee Felix,” Changbin’s eyes stung just saying his name. “He’s my boyfriend. Please, I just… I just need to know if he’s alive. Please… he’s- I love him so much and I don’t even know if he’s alive anymore…”

“Oh… let me see what I can do,” The girl’s heart broke for the boy in front of her. “Hold on a moment.”

* * *

  
“What’s going on?” Changkyun asked sleepily. Kihyun had shaken him awake, and the younger boy was disoriented to say the least.

“A letter came in the mail for you love,” He said softly, waiting for Changkyun to sit up before handing him the large envelope. “It doesn’t have a stamp or return address, so it had to have been hand delivered.”

Changkyun shot his boyfriend a confused look before taking the letter and opening it carefully. Inside were several smaller envelopes, each addressed to someone. He pulled the stack out and flipped through the names. Chan, Woojin, Jisung, Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Felix – Changkyun’s heart felt like it was being ripped apart when he saw that one – Jeongin, Minho, Hyungwon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon and… one for him.

He took his envelope out of the pile and opened it with shaking hands, almost afraid of what it was going to say. The writing matched the names on the envelopes, the words neat and thought out. He felt his heart drop to his stomach.

_Changkyun,_

_I know this is the coward’s way, but I can’t hold this in anymore. Everything that happened – the fire, the pain I caused you, Felix – there’s no denying that every single misfortune that’s happened recently had been one hundred percent my fault. I truly am the one to blame for everything, and that’s something you cannot fight._

_I did so many things that have broken you and the people you love. I tried to atone for it, and it ended with a young man being killed._

_I knew there was nothing I can do to make up for what I’ve done. Despite this, you decided to give me a second chance. You, the person I hurt the most, reached out to me and gave me the ability to show to you that I wasn’t what I had been in the past, and I could never thank you enough for that._

_This is where things get difficult. I can never properly apologize for the pain and heart break I’ve caused you. This, however, is my final peace offering._

_Please, Changkyun. This is merely an offer, but I feel like you’d be the right fit. Please take over the café for me. Take care of the boys. Make sure they don’t fall into the same traps we did. Enclosed is the account information, for everything. Sell the café, give it to someone else – do what you want. I changed the name on the deed and everything. I even wrote it into a will this morning. I know you’d be amazing, and I know the boys are going to need someone to look up to. One loss is enough, though I’m beginning to doubt I would even could as a second loss to them after everything I’ve done._

_I’m sorry Changkyun. Please take care of yourself. I wrote this in Jooheon’s letter as well, but the apartment has two rooms, if you’re interested. I bought them outright, so there’s no rent on them. Don’t let the boys make the same mistakes I did. I wasn’t able to protect them, but maybe you could._

_I’m sorry Changkyun. Goodbye._

_Jackson._

“K-KIHYUN!” Changkyun couldn’t stop the scream that ripped from his throat.

* * *

  
“Those here for Lee Felix?” The doctor came out, holding a clipboard and looking almost nervous. The eight boys had never run faster in their lives.

“That’s us,” Chan panted, looking wild with his unwashed hair and dark bags under his eyes. “Please… please is he alive?”

“He’s stable,” The doctor said, and she could feel the tension in the group drop drastically. Changbin collapsed, his knees giving out in relief. Thankfully, Woojin had been right there to catch him before he connected with the floor. “He’s resting now. It was pretty touch and go for a while. The bullet grazed his lung, which was the biggest issue, but they were able to take care of that in surgery. He won’t be allowed visitors until he wakes up, so if you want to go home we can give you a call when he’s ready. You all look like you could use a shower and a nap.”

“Thank you doctor,” Chan grinned through his tears. “Thank you…”

“Hyung, your phone is ringing…” Minho said softly. Chan pulled it from his pocket with confusion. His eyes hardened when he saw Changkyun’s caller ID but instantly softened. He knew it wasn’t truly the older boy’s fault.

“Changkyun ‘yung? Wot’s goin’ on?” His accented English was even heavier from his exhaustion. Changkyun spoke softly for a few moments, the others unable to make out his words but could clearly hear the sobs on the other line. “No… please tell me this is a joke mate…”

“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jeongin tugged on Chan’s sleeve, looking afraid.

“Jackson hyung… we have to go to Changkyun’s apartment…”

“What happened?” Jisung pressed, his eyebrows furrowed enough for them to meet in the middle Chan swallowed back a sob but couldn’t stop a tear from rolling down his cheek.

“Jackson hyung… he’s gone.” He said softly. “He left letters of all of us apparently.”

“G-gone?” Seungmin shook his head. “He can’t be…”

“Come on, Changkyun said we could use their shower and rest up at their apartment,” Chan’s voice sounded a million miles away. They finally had good news, and then… “They said something about ordering take out…”

“Chan hyung,” Jeongin buried his face in Chan’s shoulder to hide the shaking of his small frame. “I’m scared…”

“Me too Jeonginnie,” He whispered into his hair, too emotionally spent to lie. “I’m fuckin terrified, but at least we have each other.”

“Yeah,” Jeongin sniffled and gave a watery smile. “We’re together, and that’s what counts.”

“Now, let’s go. I’m sure Changkyun and the others are going to want us together. This… we need to be together right now.”

The eight left the hospital, one member of the family alive but the other gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go... my original plan was to kill Jackson in the cafe, then it was to kill Jackson AND Felix, and in the end I loved Felix too much to let him die and honestly I'm not the biggest fan of Jackson... whoops? Someone commented and asked for me not to kill Jackson and in my head all i could say was "Oh honey you have a big storm coming".  
> I swear, the last chapter is going to be happy. It's going to be an epilogue of sorts. A 'where are they now' so these poor boys can have some sort of closure after everything that happened.


	20. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end ends up being just the beginning

“Come on Honey, you’re going to be late.” Changkyun knocked on Jooheon’s door, earning a groan in response. Jooheon despised his Wednesday class with a burning passion. He said it was because the professor didn’t know what he was talking about, but Changkyun knew it was because he had embarrassed himself in front of the cute boy who sits behind him on the first day.

“I’m going to drop out.” Jooheon dragged himself from his room to the kitchenette, not caring that his hair was sticking up in every direction.

“You aren’t going to drop out. You’re just being dramatic because you have a crush on that boy in your poetry class. What was his name?” Kihyun teased from his spot at the stove. Jooheon blushed and spluttered, his still asleep brain unable to think of a comeback.

“James? Isn’t that what you call him?” Changkyun grinned as Jooheon flushed even darker.

“His name is Johnny and he’s from Chicago and I don’t have a crush on him!” He shook his head frantically while the other two just laughed.

“Yeah, and I’m going to become an idol.” Changkyun scoffed as he placed his mug in the sink.

“Hey-!” Jooheon’s cry was cut short by his phone dinging. He checked it and went pale. “Shit class starts in fifteen minutes!”

“I tried warning you,” Changkyun sounded smug, but his friend had already ran back to his room to frantically get dressed. “He never listens!”

“What was that babe?” Kihyun asked, his back to his boyfriend. Changkyun stared at the back of the older boy’s head with an open mouth until Kihyun laughed. “Kidding, kidding. You know what Jooheon is like though. He’s never motivated to go to class unless he’s running late.”

“See you guys later!” The boy in question sprinted out the front door. Changkyun and Kihyun shared a look before bursting into laughter. A loud crash from below them caught their attention and Kihyun ran a hand down his face.

“Can you please tell them to stop messing around?” He asked, sounding ten years older. “I know I’m not their boss but damn, I’m getting anxiety from how reckless they are.”

“Aye aye captain.” Changkyun gave a mock salute before kissing Kihyun on the cheek and running out the door as well.

The bakery was bustling. After the switch in ownership, Changkyun tried to keep things running as smoothly as possible. Of course, he did some redecorating. He didn’t want the boys to be reminded of Felix bleeding out every time they entered the room, so he replaced the black and white tiles with warm hard wood floors and the cream walls had been painted a soft toffee color. The photos were still up, but Changkyun had tried to frame as many as he could – he eventually gave up trying to keep up with the photos that would be added almost daily.

“Hyung! You’re late.” Minho scolded from behind the counter.

“I’m not late, you guys are just early,” Changkyun grinned at the exasperated look on his friend’s face. “Kihyun wanted me to make sure no one was buried under a pile of boxes or something. We heard a crash.”

“Jeongin dropped a tray of pastries, but he’s fine. A little broken that the whole tray had to be thrown out but physically fine.”

“Thanks Minny.” Changkyun clapped the younger boy on the shoulder before squeezing behind him to go into the kitchen. The first thing he noticed was a large patch of freshly mopped flooring. The second thing he noticed was the youngest member of their staff sniffling sadly off to the side. Chan was with him, whispering and making the boy smile faintly.

“Hyung!” Jeongin jumped as he saw Changkyun walk up. “I’m so sorry I-”

“Are you alright?”

“Um, yeah I’m fine but-”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, yeah?” Changkyun could physically see the tension leave the boy’s shoulders as Jeongin flashed him his signature brace-grin.

“Boss man! It’s good to see ya again.” Chan grinned and Changkyun rolled his eyes playfully.

“Chan, I was literally here yesterday. I live above the damn café.” He tried to scold the boy but his words came out as a laugh.

“But I missed ya. It ain’t th’ same without ya and ya boyfriend naggin us.” Chan threw an arm around Changkyun shoulders.

“Kihyun doesn’t nag…” He tried to defend his boyfriend but found himself trailing off, knowing Chan had a point.

“Anyway, how’s Jooheon likin th’ new semesta?” The two walked over to one of the tables, where a dozen half iced muffins sat on a tray.

“He tried to introduce himself to a cute guy in his poetry class but accidentally spit iced coffee all over him instead. He keeps threatening to drop out so he can avoid the boy but he like the internship at Namjoon hyung’s studio. He wouldn’t throw that away because of a stupid crush. Besides, apparently this boy isn’t mad at him because he keeps asking to work together.”

“Guys, let me help!” Felix’s whine carried across the entire kitchen and Changkyun had to bite back a laugh. Despite over a year passing since the accident, the boys still treated the Australian boy like he was made of glass, and he was getting tired of it.

“Be careful! Don’t hurt him.” Woojin scolded, being one of the main offenders of babying the boy.

“Hyung, please let me do somethin. I’m goin crazy here.”

“Ya, you want something to do? I need help carrying boxes for this weekend.” Changkyun called over and Felix instantly perked up.

“Yeah! Thanks for letting me help!” Felix instantly skipped over, a bright grin lighting up the room. Despite trying to treat him normally, Changkyun was still more protective over Felix than anyone else in the bakery. It had been really touch and go after he had been shot, and Changkyun could see the boy wince when he tried moved his left side too much. He had talked to the doctors after he had been released, and they said Felix would experience twinges of pain for years until the scars faded more. Even then, a year later, his side was marred with a raised red welt.

“You’re a strong kid. Besides, I know how annoying it gets to be babied all the time,” Changkyun gestured to the fading but still pink skin on his arms. It was hard to believe it was almost two years since the fire – since he met Kihyun and his world was toppled over. “Hyunwoo and Minhyuk agreed that they don’t want anything crazy, which shocked me a little. Minhyuk always talked about these outrageously expensive weddings with doves and ten-tier cakes and horses to ride away on.”

“I guess he loves Hyunwoo hyung enough to compromise.” Felix commented as he picked up one of the boxes of decorations from the back room.

“I guess so, though I was surprised when I heard it was Minhyuk who suggested having the ceremony and reception in their backyard.” Changkyun and Felix carried the boxes to the older boy’s car that was parked behind the bakery. It was technically Kihyun’s, but since the author had released the sequel to his best-selling book, he had no need to drive when he could just pay someone to drive for him. He gave the keys to Changkyun without a second thought.

“Thanks for invitin’ us,” Felix commented quietly as they went back for the second load. “I know we weren’t their favorite people…”

“It wasn’t like that Lix, I swear,” Changkyun felt a stab in his chest. “They didn’t like Jackson at first… it had nothing to do with you or the others.”

“Speaking of hyung… has there been any word?”

“No… I’m sorry Felix.”

The night Changkyun received the letters, he rushed to the café but Jackson was already gone. His apartment had been cleared out, leaving just the furniture behind and another short note. No one could contact him – not even Bambam or Yugyeom, who rushed to the café the second they heard the news. It was as if Jackson Wang completely disappeared.

Changkyun took some of the money Jackson had left to him to buy a small grave marker in a nearby cemetery. Based off his last letters, everyone was able to draw conclusions about what actually happened to the man. They still visited the grave when they could.

“We should get this stuff ova to the house before Minhyuk hyung has a stroke.” Felix thankfully changed the subject.

“Another surprise,” Changkyun muttered as they piled into the car. “Minhyuk wants to decorate for his own wedding. Isn’t that something you leave to the maid of honor or something?”

“Aw, are ya jealous that Minhyuk hyung picked Hyungwon hyung to be his maid of hona and not you?” Felix grinned, his cheeks squishing as he peered at Changkyun.

“Psh, as if,” Changkyun said. “I’m totally not bitter about that.”

“Then why are ya the one runnin round like a chicken with its head chopped off?”

“Because I care about my hyungs. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m jealous that he picked Hyungwon hyung. Besides, they all live together now. It makes sense for him to pick Hyungwon hyung and not me even though I thought we were close but apparently not…”

“So you are jealous.” Felix picked up on Changkyun’s unfortunate confession and the elder boy had nothing to defend himself with. He just flushed and turned the radio up louder to drown out the laughter of the boy next to him.

* * *

  
“Changkyun, let’s stop here for a second.” Kihyun said suddenly. He had asked the younger boy to go on a walk with him, and Changkyun jumped at the chance to go on a date with his boyfriend. One of their favorite spots was the park near the café, with its winding paths and little ponds that housed ducks and fish and the occasional floating ball.

The weather was perfect – sunny and warm with a light breeze. People were jogging and walking their dogs and sunbathing on the grass around them. Changkyun could hear traffic in the distance, but he could also hear the birds singing and the bugs crying. He looked over to Kihyun, who looked even more perfect. The sun hit his face just right to make it look like the older boy was glowing, and Changkyun felt his heart skip a beat. He was so in love with the person standing in front of him that it was causing him physical pain.

“Kihyun,” Changkyun whispered, causing Kihyun to whip his head around and look at the younger. Changkyun thought he saw panic in his boyfriend’s eyes but quickly dismissed that thought. “I just… I love you so much.” He stepped closer and nuzzled his nose against Kihyun’s own.

“I love you so much Changkyun… that’s why…” Kihyun stepped away from Changkyun and the younger boy pouted at the loss of closeness. “Im Changkyun, we’ve lived together for almost two years. You were nothing more than a stranger to me at first, but you somehow managed to become the more important person in my life in the blink of an eye. You just keep surprising me, even when I thought there was nothing more you could surprise me with. Like how I didn’t expect you to cry when you had to finally throw away those constellation sneakers after wearing them down, and how I didn’t expect you to take the offer to run the café. You’re full of surprises, and just the thought that maybe I won’t be there to see what you do next makes my chest hurt. I never want to miss a moment with you Changkyun, even if those moments are going to McDonald’s at two in the morning because you had a dream about fries or almost getting arrested because you just had to go swimming in a fountain… so Chankgyun…” Kihyun took another step back and got down on one knee. “Will you marry me? So I never have to miss a single moment with you?”

Changkyun was speechless. He stared down at Kihyun, who was holding a small silver band in a shaking hand. A tear ran down his cheek as he watched Kihyun’s eyes widen in panic. Before the elder could do anything, however, Changkyun threw himself into his arms, knocking them both back onto the grass.

“Of course,” He sobbed into Kihyun’s neck. “Of course I’ll marry you, you cheesy piece of shit.”

“I love you.” Kihyun leaned in to leave a kiss on the younger boy’s forehead as Changkyun continued to sob.

“I love you- you so m-much.” He was laughing through the tears, and a few joggers passing by stopped to cheer for the couple.

“Let’s tell the others the good news, okay? I’m sure they’re dying to hear how you sobbed like a baby.” Kihyun helped Changkyun stand, but the younger just latched onto the front of his shirt.

“I love you.” He kept repeating, over and over. Kihyun smiled down at the boy and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“We can stay like this for a little bit first,” He said soothingly, feeling his fiancé shake with sobs. “We have all the time in the world.”

* * *

  
“You’re going to watch us, right?” Seungcheol asked, sounding almost nervous.

“How could I not?” Changkyun grinned at his friends. The airport was loud and busy, but the speed walking flyers seemed to give the large group of fifteen – the thirteen dancers and their two managers – more than enough space. “I’m excited to be able to say ‘I knew them when’ in a few years.”

“Ya, we’re not going to be that famous.” Cheol blushed at his friend’s encouragement. They never expected to be scouted. Apparently, after a performance a few months after the fundraiser at the old factories, a scout saw them and instantly asked for them to join with a company.

“You totally are. There’s no way a group of handsome, talented boys like you won’t win over the hearts of every girl and boy across the world.” Changkyun felt himself getting choked up and Seungcheol noticed.

“I’m sorry we’ll be missing your wedding,” He said sadly, looking at his shoes. “We’ll be rooting for you always though.”

“Don’t worry about it. When you come home, we can have a huge party to celebrate all the birthdays and holidays and anniversaries we’ll miss.” Changkyun pulled his friend into a hug, willing himself not to cry.

“Aw, Kyunnie’s crying!” Soonyoung’s voice broke through the moment and suddenly more arms were around Changkyun. He let out a single sob as he let his friends hug him one last time for who knows how long. Too soon, their plane was being called to board and they had to let Changkyun go. With a final hug and wave goodbye, they disappeared through the doors, luggage in hand. Changkyun watched the plane take off, Kihyun’s hand around his waist to comfort him.

“I’m going to miss them.” Changkyun said suddenly and Kihyun’s hand on his hip tightened.

“I know love, but they won’t be gone forever,” He wanted to reassure his fiancé as much as he could. “Besides, it’s not as if we have a giant group chat with everyone in it that drains my phone battery because you guys do nothing but bicker all day… oh wait.”

His dry tone made Changkyun chuckle. He rested his head on Kihyun’s shoulder and kept looking out the large airport windows, thoughts of the future dancing through his mind.

"Let's go home love." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a wild ride. I never expected to write something this long, and it's weird to think that it's over. I know this chapter isn't as long as the others tended to be, but it felt right leaving it where I did. I didn't go into detail about the weddings or Seventeen's career because I wanted to leave it almost open ended so you guys could fill in the gaps as you pleased.  
> Thank you everyone for supporting me though this train wreck of a fic. I know my writing can be a little all over the place sometimes, and that my grammar isn't perfect, but your encouragement made it possible to keep writing. Thank you for everything. I'm going to miss seeing your comments and kudos.  
> Until next time everyone,  
> ~Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> I just realized this is going to be my first ship fic. I hope I do the plot justice lmao


End file.
